Ever been hung up on trying to make a call?

[Brian]

Have you ever been hung up on trying to make a call? It happened to me yesterday as I was trying to call a store to ask their hours. It did not extremely upset me, but it was quite annoying. I am a stutterer who has difficulty initiating speech sometimes, especially on the phone, and it has happened on quite a few occasions that the person I am calling does not wait for me to begin speaking before they just hang up. And that is even when they know someone else in on the other end of the line. It is disturbing when it happens and has made me mad before at the rudeness of someone who cannot be patient and wait a little while someone is trying to talk. In the past I have sometimes called back and blurted out "I stutter!" so the person will not hang up on me again.

But the question is, has this ever happened to you and how do you deal with it?

[chrish15]

Hey Brian, this has happened to me a couple times, it is quite annoying. I usually am fine saying hello, its just then saying the beginning of the question that can be difficult sometimes.

Chris

[claragazza]

That also happens to me. Although it hurts, I always begin such phone calls saying that I stutter and I am doing my best.

[bolo]

Phones are my bugbear in life. I hate, fear and loathe them. Face to face these days I dont really stutter that much but telephones are a no go area. Something I really need to address.

Give me a few beers though and I feel inclined to start calling people I usually wouldnt or havent in years because of the blasted stutter

[3FingerBrown]

Especially since the advent of cell phones, this problem has gotten worse.
"You're breaking up" is usually the last thing you hear before the click.
I do find this very frustrating but whats worse is when it happens at the office and the person at the desk next to mine witnesses the whole thing.

[happy7117]

I hate phones too!! I get hung up every time I try to call someplace. Like if I try to call to order a pizza, and I start to stutter, I get hung up on!! Definately nasty and unfun!!

But I can understand why people would hang up. People may be very busy with other customers, and may not have the time to be all that patient...

The best thing we can do, is keep trying and have hope that someone will not hang up!!

[Requiem]

Oh I remember when that happened to me. I had to call my mum to ask her something but I was stammering,so she got really annoyed and started shouting at me on the phone then she just hung up on me. It's really no fun at all!

[Standingtall]

I use to be scared of the land lines or mobiles. The last time someone hung up on me, my long fuse of a temper became very short and out of anger, I called back. I'm a very understanding person, so I told the guy, you hung up on me before I could say anything. Once I mellowed out a little, my blocks came back, but by this time I had his attention. I'm doing a lot better now, but maybe one phone call or two out of two days, I will have the hardest time, just saying Hello.

[bolo]

I'm glad to see that you still go ahead and initiate the call anyway. Thats my barrier at the moment, I avoid the situation totally.

[kghayesh]

Wow, Power of three !!! That's the best thing you could have ever made.

I don't know if i have the guts to do something like that!! When somebody hangs up the phone with me, I feel like as if he has the right to do so coz he can't understand anything, and i feel like i am defeated.

[happy7117]

That surely takes alot of courage Power Of Three..!! Normaly if I get hung up on, I get pissed and try to forget about it...but you actualy took a stand and stood up for yourself.. Congradulations on making that guy get a taste of his own medicine!!

It sort of happened to me on the bus a few years ago, but it was as I was getting off the bus..an elderly lady called me a mental case and the bus driver felt the same way too...

She said it as I was getting off the bus so she didnt think I would hear her, but I did...

I get back on, and I screamed in her face "I am not a mental case, and if you have a problem with it, deal with it.."

And then I went to the bus driver, and yelled "as a passenger riding a city bus, I expect a little respect and common courtesy as any passenger!"

Not exactly those words, but something similar to that effect....!!

From now on, if anyone wants to ridicule me for any speech difficulty, you have taught me to retaliate...

Dirtbags should learn to respect any problem, speech or not!

And if anyone says "spit it out" to me, I just spit saliva or whatever it is in my mouth out....I have learned never to take those words to heart to what they realy mean....

Or I'll just spit in their face, and go "I spit it out just like you asked!"

[bignick]

Its happened to me and its as annoying as hell when it happens, plus I have had people laugh down the phone at me and thats made me quite angry and I have phoned back and asked to speak to their manager and make a complaint.

Nick

[Brian]

When I am hung up on, its difficult for me to call back. I agree that is what you should do, but you have to be strong emotionally to do it. Sometimes I am not. For instance, this last time when it happened it unnerved me. I was confident up to the point it happened. I tried not to let it affect me emotionally, but it did. It brought fear. For some people I guess that fear can go to anger or rage, but for me it was just fear. I decided just to go to the store I was calling about to check its hours. I don't always do what I should do. It depends on my mood. Wish I had better control of that.

[happy7117]

Sometimes when I have a bad phone situation, and I get hung up on..I realy don't have the nerve to call back because the anger and dissapointment from not being able to do it the first time makes me not do it again...and also if I do try it again and still stutter alot, they might start complaining saying "there is this guy who talks weird, and he called before: I might report him to the police"...

I mean if I tried to call back to voice what they did to me, and still stuttered, they probably would get mad and boiled that "this guy who cannot talk is calling us for god knows what"???

If I was fairly fluent, I would call back to ream them about a mistreatment, but if I would be too dysfluent, I would let it go...and say "hell with it!"

There has to be an eaiser way for stutterers to be able to use the phone without so much frusteration!!!! Stuttering has been going on for too long, and the fact that so many are so unaware of what it realy is makes me disgusted....

[3FingerBrown]

I really don't know what I'd do now but I'd imagine it still being enough to really anger me.
If I was calling someone back when I knew the same person would be answering, I wouldn't call again at least until it was safe... meaning that I calmed down enoug where I wouldn't try to rip my hand through the phone to rip his f(*&%%^&*&%5( from his *&^(*)*&^$**&. :D

I've actually been trying to use the phone a lot more, making sales inquiries and things I would have never done before to desensitize myself to these situations. As upsetting and distressing as this is it can't ever be allowed to ruin another day, week or year. We must seperate our spirit from our stutter. This is of course much more easily said than done.

[happy7117]

I wouldn't try to rip my hand through the phone to rip his f(*&%%^&*&%5( from his *&^(*)*&^$**&.

The above is a hilarious but great statement!! Reach through the phone to rip his lungs out!!!

[3FingerBrown]

I always make every attempt to act on gut feelings, and not give myself time to think about a situation. Hence I always make phone calls immediately.
Sometimes I make errors in judgement, and other times not - that is simply life and I put it down to experience.
If I do make a phone call when angry, I usually end up calming down - unless the other person is a real $£$%^^% - and coming to an arrangement where I usually come out on top.

As regards seperationg our spirit from one's stammer, could you explain this more? I get through each and every day with a great deal of humour (or cheerful spirit). I think that everything that we do, say and act are intertwined and each has an effect on the other.

The last time I was hung up on I was in the office and the whole episode was witnessed by a coworker.
I get hung up on, slam the phone down, throw a stapler and quasy yell an expletive while threatening people’s lives. That my coworker witnessed the episode gave me something to obsess over completely ruining at least a week.
We all know the frustration, humiliation, feelings of inadequacy that accompany stuttering. These are “normal” instinctive emotions.
This can’t be allowed to happen.

I divide us into 3 parts, the mind, body and the spirit. The 3 are intertwined in a triangle with each affecting the other. There is a natural balance that must be maintained by the 3 and when any 1 part is out of whack the other 2 elements must compensate.

Only by accepting your complete stuttering self can you prevent your stutter from tragically affecting the mind and spirit. Accept what you cannot change and have the strength to carry on. This is what I mean by separate your stutter from your spirit.

One thing I always hated about school was that you were never done. Until the last exam is done there is always something you should or could be doing.
Its very difficult in school to separate your spirit from school.
In the job I’m in now I work 9-5. Come 5:01, I could care less about anything work related. When I leave work I do so completely, mind, body and spirit. My spirit is separated from my job.

[Standingtall]

I divide us into 3 parts, the mind, body and the spirit. The 3 are intertwined in a triangle with each affecting the other. There is a natural balance that must be maintained by the 3 and when any 1 part is out of whack the other 2 elements must compensate.

Interesting, my cultural has 4 parts, like 4 seasons, 4 main colours etc.. hmmm interesting.

[Kryt]

My short fuse doesn't help at all with this. Also at work, I've been hung up on. I used to work for a student accommodation place in Northampton, and I hate most students around here anyway. Probably not the best job. One, well, bint I phoned to let her know a plumber was on his way to rescue her decided that she'd hang up on me as I couldn't quite say "this afternoon" when she enquired "when". I rang her back, in full view and earshot of the entire staff including the manager, and said outright, without missing a beat "I dont expect to be treated like a retard by someone who's IQ is clearly less than a used teabag. In future, act like the young adult you're supposed to be. The plumber will be round this afternoon."

All she could say was "er, ok, thanks" - and I even got a round of applause from my colleagues and boss. Ever since that episode, I've been used to call people like BT, British Gas and Powergen to sort problems - I don't stutter at all when I'm angry and being/been messed about - and I always get results :D Unfortunately I since left that job due to "disability discrimination" during bad times. Can't get anything else with my speech this bad :(

[Kryt]

No - I was forced to leave. It was only a small company - the managing director on site for 3 days a week with 3 office based staff other than myself. Although my contract stated that answering the telephone was one of my responsibilities, we had a verbal agreement (ironic?) that in times of difficulty, the other staff would take up the slack. It got to the point where people I thought were also friends just outright refused - maybe because they were busy elsewhere or otherwise, but I certainly couldn't answer a phone when blocked. This went on for about a month with the phone basically being unanswered and business suffering as a result. The boss wouldn't do bugger all about it, I was unable to help it, so I tendered my resignation, worked my notice period and left.

If I had thought about it more at the time, I could have actually had them done for constructive dismissal - oddly enough the next "job" I had was working as a volunteer IT assistant for the local Citizens Advice Bureau - just too late to take further action. Company has also changed hands now.

Bit of a bugger, but I've got my own back in a fashion. When I left, all the other staff left - I basically ran the entire office via those computers and the ex owner didn't realise how much. And, the new owner called me a month or so ago (over a year since I left) saying they are upgrading their computers, and I'm apparently the only person in the country capable of getting their database system moved to another computer. That's a shame, because I wasn't going back for love nor money ;)

[Sullebon]

I've never had anyone hang up on me but I have had people laugh at me. One plus on that is that at least I don't have to call them back to give them an earful! Like many of you have said, I get very angry but more so, I get very upset that people in this world can continue to be so cruel once they've left the playground years behind them.