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3FingerBrown
11-27-2006, 03:17 PM
I’ve spent much of my life shielding my emotions from others. Even keel was the way to go. Don’t be happy, then people will remember what you look like happy.
Don’t be upset, someone might pry… On that note, don’t ever ask anyone personal questions, what if they reciprocate?
Don’t ever admit to being scared.
Don’t ever admit that my stuttering affects me.
Don’t ever admit that anything ever affects me. Stay cool… even keel.
Can’t show anger, if you let it out can you rein in back in again?
Though, I was always angry about something, the more distant the better,
Anger was my pitch as anxiety radiated off my body.

As much as I’d try to live the life of the emotionally challenged my body and actions often gave me up.
Muscle tightness, spasms, shivering and tremors… Don’t let anyone hug you, they’ll discover that you are shaking like a leaf.
Sitting in a corner trying to be a wall… Sitting in a corner with a distant stare and evil scowl. Past friends in the US military have told me that I often have the mile long stare often associated with combat. Now that’s something to strive for!
Sitting in a corner wrapped up in my own fears and thoughts often a blade of grass away from exploding.
76 days ago I discovered that I couldn’t play this game any longer.
This past holiday weekend I had to deal with big family parties and engagement celebrations for a younger brother.
Most people, friends and family alike are just as surprised as I am at my newly found fluency. Most people didn’t see or hear me stutter once all weekend but people knew something was very different with me before I even had a chance to speak. My posture, mannerisms and visible anxiety have all changed. Friends of my parents who have known and observed me my whole life cl that they have never seen me look so good. Born again was a term I heard.
I just wish I further understood what was happening to me,
This weekend was VERY stressful for me. Obviously I know how well I am doing and its to be expected that people are happy for me but I SOOOOOO hate being the center of attention.
Even if I was the only one to know, there was still back stiffness, heartburn, tremors and sleepless nights of anticipation. I worked through most but there were still stutters too, albeit fewer than I have experienced.
There was still the same old pretending to be calmer and happier than I actually was. Pretending to feel what I thought was expected and what I wanted to convey.
I wish I knew which been more influential straightening out the other? Stutter, attitude, hopes and dreams… I wish I understood this process, maybe then I’d fear the dark a little less and enjoy the light a little more.

bignick
11-27-2006, 03:44 PM
Ari,

Dont you think the processes go hand in hand, stutter, attitude and hopes and dreams should all intertwine with each other.
I think its great that people have noticed a change in you and that the weekend was a success.
I still feel nervous and anxious in certain situations, family get togethers where I stay in my comfort circle with people I feel happy with.
I also think its great that you have taken the bull by the horns and are trying to change your outlook on life.
You are doing really well and keep up the good and hard work as its worth all the trouble.

Nick

Jamester
11-27-2006, 10:59 PM
What you see is what you get! I wear my heart on my sleeve and outwardly emote to every situation. I am who I am and if others have a problem, f*** them if they can't take a joke!

My two cents,

Jamie

happy7117
11-28-2006, 12:04 AM
I am who I am and if others have a problem, f*** them if they can't take a joke!

I don't know why, but the above made me bust a gut laughing..it's like to hell what anyone else thinks of us, but screw them all!! That's what are attitude should be!

bignick
11-28-2006, 08:31 AM
What you see is what you get! I wear my heart on my sleeve and outwardly emote to every situation. I am who I am and if others have a problem, f*** them if they can't take a joke!

My two cents,

Jamie


Jamie,

I am exactly the same as you and wear my heart on my sleeve.

Nick

3FingerBrown
11-28-2006, 01:32 PM
Your responses are all always appreciated.
Funny thing is I wasn't fooling anybody and on some level knew that.
Its really been suprising to me that people have so clearly seen the changes in the way I outwardly present myself.

Another funny thing... Here in the US of A there has been quite the controversy regarding racial profiling for both crime and security. Whenever I've traveled to Israel where they reguarly perform psychological profiling I've always been very closely scrutinized.
My last trip was with my entire family and I alone was singled out time and time again.
I almost wasn't allowed off the airplane. I was stopped at the gate by machine gun toting paramilitary cops/soldiers and couldn't verbalize a sound to plead my case. My brother finally saw what was going on and came to intervene.
I've always felt that anxiety radiated off of me, I guess I was right. :)
Emotions and feelings can't be denied and they will come out if it kills you.

Having people witness so clearly and being so close to issues, feelings and emotions that are sooooo personal and charged is a very dificult transition from what has traditionally been my modus operandi.

Standingtall
11-29-2006, 04:00 PM
I often get that racially profiling a lot over at my part of the country. I some times feeling like people make room for me but then again bullies tend to leave me alone. Maybe I look to miserable to be bothered with. My friend told me a lot of my personality has to do with my sign, which is scorpio, calm on the surface, but deep and turbulent underneath. I take great pride in be able to control my temper and moods, and when I do come out, it is a big deal. Strange huh! I don't have a dance when I score a goal, so I am not a cheerleader but I do give 110% on the playing field. but I do have a stutter dance.