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cherokeeprinces
01-17-2007, 03:07 PM
Your Yearly Dementia Test

It's that time of year to take our annual senior citizen test.
Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it's important to keep mentally alert. If you don't use it, you lose it! Below is a very private way to gauge your loss or non-loss of intelligence.
Take the test presented here to determine if you're losing it or not. The spaces below are so you don't see the answers until you've made your answer.
OK, relax, clear your mind and begin.
1. What do you put in a toaster?





Answer: "bread." If you said "toast," give up now and do something else.
Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, bread, go to Question 2.


2. Say "silk" five times. Now spell "silk." What do cows drink?




Answer: Cows drink water. If you said "milk ," don't
attempt the next question. Your bra in is over-stressed and may even overheat. Content yourself with reading a more appropriate literature such as Auto World. However, if you said "water", proceed to question 3.


3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a green house made from?




Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said "green bricks," why the hell are you still reading these???
If you said "glass," go on to Question 4.


4. It's twenty years ago, and a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over Germany (If you will recall, Germany at the time was politically divided into West Germany and East Germany.) Anyway, during the flight, TWO engines fail. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing, decides on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately the engine
fails before he can do so and the plane fatally crashes smack in the middle of "no man's land" between East Germany and West Germany. Where would you bury the survivors? East Germany, West Germany, or no man's land"?


Answer: You don't bury survivors.
If you said ANYTHING else, you're a dunce and you must stop. If you said, "You don't bury survivors", proceed to the next question.




5. Without using a calculator - You are driving a bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales. In London, 17 people get on the bus; In Reading, six people get off the bus and nine people get on. In Swindon, two people get off and four get on. In Cardiff , 11 people get off and 16 people get on. In Swansea , three people get off and five people get on In Carmathen, six people get off and three get on. You then arrive at Milford Haven.
What was the name of the bus driver?




Answer: Oh, for crying out loud!
Don't you remember your own name? It was YOU!!

Now pass this along to all your friends and pray they do better than you.
PS: 95% of people fail most of the questions!!

cherokeeprinces
01-17-2007, 03:09 PM
CHOCOLATE SINGS

One day I had a date for lunch with friends. Mae, a little old "blue hair" about 80 years old, came along with them---All in all, a pleasant bunch. When the menus were presented, we ordered salads, sandwiches, and soups, except for Mae who said, "Ice Cream, please. Two scoops, chocolate."

I wasn't sure my ears heard right, and the others were aghast. "Along with heated apple pie," Mae added, completely unabashed. We tried to act quite nonchalant, as if people did this all the time. But when our orders were brought out, I didn't enjoy mine.. I couldn't take my eyes off Mae as her pie a-la-mode went down. The other ladies showed dismay. They
ate their lunches silently and frowned.

The next time I went out to eat, I called and invited Mae. I lunched on white meat tuna. She ordered a parfait. I smiled. She asked if she amused me. I answered, "Yes, you do, but also you confuse me. How come you order rich desserts, while I feel I must be sensible?

She laughed and said, with wanton mirth, "I'm tasting all that's Possible. I try to eat the food I need, and do the things I should. But life's so short, my friend, I hate missing out on something good. This year I realized how old I was. (She grinned) I haven't been this old before."

"So, before I die, I've got to try those things that for years I had ignored. I haven't smelled all the flowers yet. There are too many books I haven't read. There's more fudge sundaes to wolf down and kites to be flown overhead. There are many malls I haven't shopped. I've not laughed at all the jokes. I've missed a lot of Broadway hits and potato chips and cokes.

I want to wade again in water and feel ocean spray on my face. I want to sit in a country church once more and thank God for His grace. I want peanut butter every day spread on my morning toast. I want UN-timed long distance calls to the folks I love the most. I haven't cried at all the movies yet, or walked in the morning rain. I need to feel wind in my hair. I want to fall in love again. So, if I choose to have dessert, instead of having dinner, then should I die before night fall, I'd say I died a winner, because I missed out on nothing. I filled my heart's desire. I had that final chocolate mousse before my life expired ."

With that, I called the waitress over.. "I've changed my mind," I said. "I want what she is having, only add some more whipped cream!"

This is my gift to you - We need an annual Friends Day! If you get this twice, then you have more than one friend. Live well, love much & laugh often - Be happy.

PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS IF YOU WANT TO.

Be mindful that happiness isn't based on possessions, power, or prestige, but on relationships with people we love and respect.
Remember that while money talks, CHOCOLATE SINGS

Standingtall
01-17-2007, 10:02 PM
[QUOTE=cherokeeprinces;10144]Your Yearly Dementia Test

It's that time of year to take our annual senior citizen test.
Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it's important to keep mentally alert. If you don't use it, you lose it! Below is a very private way to gauge your loss or non-loss of intelligence.
Take the test presented here to determine if you're losing it or not. The spaces below are so you don't see the answers until you've made your answer.
OK, relax, clear your mind and begin.
1. What do you put in a toaster?





Answer: "bread." If you said "toast," give up now and do something else.
Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, bread, go to Question 2.

QUOTE]
I couldn't even get pass the first question. I lost it.

cherokeeprinces
01-17-2007, 10:08 PM
Lol I Knew It

Paulski
01-18-2007, 01:43 AM
I got 'em all right, except for that last one. I must be in worse shape than I thought, not only do I not know my name, but how did I end up in England driving a bus???

cherokeeprinces
01-18-2007, 01:52 AM
lol I don't know how you wound up driving the bus either lol