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ratsalad
03-17-2007, 07:29 PM
Hi, my name is Jeremy and I'm 27 years-old. I found you guys early this morning and decided to give this a try. I've never had any communications with anyone else who stutters before, and I'm hoping to get a new perspective from meeting people here. I've spent too long feeling like I was the only one, I really do hope to get something positive from this.

I've been stuttering since I was about 8 years-old, and have been very self-conscious about it throughout my life. I regret to say that you won't hear a success story from me, I have never really been able to cope with it. It would be more than fair to say that for the last 12 years I have lived at a computer screen. I would say that probably 90% of my social experience in my life has been on computers.

The fact is, I have let my problem hold me back for most of my life in a very major way. I'm now realizing that I can't let stuttering rule every aspect of my life forever.. I'm not always going to have someone to rely on to take care of me. I consider joining this forum my first step to learning to cope with who I am.

I also realize that I have always had enablers in my life, that have enabled me to lead the life I have. Growing up I had parents and grandparents that pretty much did everything for me that required any kind of verbal exchanges in situations I should have been dealing with myself. I quit school a few months before I turned 16, and my mother applied to get me Social Security benefits for my speech problem, which was granted with no contest. And then for quite a few years following that I chose to lead a very isolated life, locked in my room in front of my computer, and to a large extend it's still that way to this very day.

I did meet a woman online, and we went on to get married, and bought a house. My wife has also been an enabler. She goes out and works every day, takes care of the bills, handles all the communicating in life.. while I continue to lead the same life I've always lived; apart from my many computer friends, my wife is the only person I really socialize with in the real world on a regular basis.

As I was saying earlier, the reason I'm here now is to get to know some of you, and I hope knowing others with the same problem(s), and getting to know about how you all have coped will encourages me to eventually change my life for the better. I know I can't be a prisoner in life, and a dependent forever. It's something I don't want to face, I'd much rather live my life in my own little bubble.. but I know I simply can't do that. As hard as it may be, I'm ready to do something about it little by little.

Thanks in advance for understanding

spanglishfly
03-17-2007, 08:40 PM
Welcome to the forum Jeremy! The list keeps growing and growing! Trust me, you are not alone on how you have lived your life. I also keep myself isolated as much as I can, I know other stutterers will say that's not helping our stutter, cause we do need some interaction with others to improve our speech and confidence, but sometimes I just don't want to deal with people at all cause some are just flat out arrogant and rude!!!! I think were very fortunate when we stutterers find a woman that love us for who we are and don't care that we stutter, but at the same time it's not very easy to find a woman that will accept you and that's when you can't give up, cause I personally think that their is someone for everybody before the end of time! We look forward on reading your future posts and you are taking the first step to acceptance and coping with this very complex disorder!!!

JDRow
03-17-2007, 09:26 PM
Hi, Jeremy. I can definitely relate to a lot of what you're saying. I've been trying very hard lately not to be so isolated but it's difficult and I fail at it a lot. I'm close with my oldest sister and she does a lot of things for me that it would probably be better for me to do myself. But I also appreciate her doing it because I'm not sure I could myself. I've never thought about it as enabling, and that's something I'll have to think about.

I started college over the summer and that has been a big help. I hated school so I wasn't sure how it would go, but so far I've liked it a lot. I don't talk in class and I haven't had any classes where I've had to figure out what to do about presentations or anything like that, but just getting out and going to school has helped me feel less isolated and more capable of doing things. I usually work alone at my job and I live by myself, so if there isn't something to force me to, I can go a long time without being around other people.

Jamester
03-17-2007, 11:48 PM
Hi ratsalad,

Welcome to the forum. Oh, isolation, I know it so well. My parents were tough with me. They always forced me to do those things I hated to do like "The Phone". I usually ended up crying but they never let up. Now I guess I am glad they did what they did.

I stutter severely though I had some moderate stuttering for a few years. I must admit, stuttering has held me back with some choices. Then again, maybe it was me holding me back.

Communicating with other people who stutter is wonderful! To have so many people expereince what you experience daily and to be able to openly discuss it. I believe you will love this forum, especially since it fits so well into your "cyber society".

A few of us on this forum have taken things a step further by actually speaking with each other over the phone. It has been a great experience and I hope to add more people to my call list. What do you do with the phone?

Jamie

ratsalad
03-18-2007, 04:08 AM
Thanks for the replies fellas :) I can really appreciate that this forum and forums like it are here. I'm really not sure why I didn't find them long ago, or rather why I didn't come looking for forums.

Jamie, as for the phone, I typically avoid it like the plague. But I have gotten a little better about the phone more recently, I have spoke to a couple online friends on the phone (people I've know online for many years now). As for being called, I monitor my calls closely and if the caller ID shows a number I don't recognize I'll just let it go to voice mail. I imagine this isn't a uncommon approach at all :)

Standingtall
03-18-2007, 06:30 AM
Welcome Jeremy, good to meet you. I pretty much had to look after everything i did and doing. I have twin girls who stutter and I have to be there for them. Good to have you here and looking forward in what you have to share with us. I have talk to Jamie a few times and I highly recommended her if you want to talk to someone from here for the first time.

jak
03-18-2007, 02:04 PM
welcome to the group

jak
03-18-2007, 02:12 PM
welcome to the group jeremy,I suggest you start by trying to get a job ,it is a great way to get out of the house ,ther are usually agencys who will help you if you need it ,I understand how easy it is for us to hide but thats not much of a life ,thers so much to see out in the world ,when we push past our fear and our speech we can do anything :D

ratsalad
03-18-2007, 05:03 PM
welcome to the group jeremy,I suggest you start by trying to get a job ,it is a great way to get out of the house ,ther are usually agencys who will help you if you need it ,I understand how easy it is for us to hide but thats not much of a life ,thers so much to see out in the world ,when we push past our fear and our speech we can do anything :D

That is my ultimate goal right now. It really does hurt me to see my wife is working so hard to support us, and all I have is my small SSI check.

First things first though.. I am also terrified of driving a vehicle. I believe I got this from my mother, she is also very afraid of driving. I need to somehow manage to get over this phobia before thinking about finding a job.

Thanks for all the warm welcomes all :)