3FingerBrown
04-04-2007, 05:39 PM
This is a holiday time for many of us and I thought it would be a good time to talk about dealing with stuttering and family events.
Last night I attended a large Passover seder at my parent’s house, its an annual event with many of my parents friends and their children who were mostly childhood friends of my brothers and I. It’s a big party and a good time. Frankly, any time my brothers and I are together we should charge for admission. Coming home wasn’t always fun but being with my brothers is always a good time.
The last time many of the people present saw me was during Thanksgiving where I was still riding a high since I started recling my life from my stutter and avoidance behaviors.
Thanksgiving I was very very very fluent still experiencing a wonderful false fluency and everybody saw me as a whole new person, smiling, confident and not stuttering.
Thanksgiving was still a stressful day for me and I soooo wanted to be fluent.
Last night I had a little anxiety and some heartburn before going to my parents but my anxiety levels have never been less intense when attending a big function such as this.
As badly as I wanted to be fluent over Thanksgiving I was now concerned that I falsely presented myself as fluent. People would say how well I am doing and I’d point out how much work I’ve done and how much more work I still have to do.
Though what other people thought about me used to consume me and don’t anymore, I still don’t want anyone thinking that I was cured. Caring about what people think is one thing, misrepresenting myself however is another matter and I openly discussed my stuttering with many of these people for the very first time ever.
Along those thought lines I was actually hoping to be less fluent last night.
Nonetheless, even before we hit the wine I was very fluent last night, too fluent actually.
Its been 204 days since I broke down, lifted the cloak of denial and started to recl my life.
I had a wonderful time even though last night I was too fluent!!. Who would have ever thought that such a thought was possible?
Ari
Last night I attended a large Passover seder at my parent’s house, its an annual event with many of my parents friends and their children who were mostly childhood friends of my brothers and I. It’s a big party and a good time. Frankly, any time my brothers and I are together we should charge for admission. Coming home wasn’t always fun but being with my brothers is always a good time.
The last time many of the people present saw me was during Thanksgiving where I was still riding a high since I started recling my life from my stutter and avoidance behaviors.
Thanksgiving I was very very very fluent still experiencing a wonderful false fluency and everybody saw me as a whole new person, smiling, confident and not stuttering.
Thanksgiving was still a stressful day for me and I soooo wanted to be fluent.
Last night I had a little anxiety and some heartburn before going to my parents but my anxiety levels have never been less intense when attending a big function such as this.
As badly as I wanted to be fluent over Thanksgiving I was now concerned that I falsely presented myself as fluent. People would say how well I am doing and I’d point out how much work I’ve done and how much more work I still have to do.
Though what other people thought about me used to consume me and don’t anymore, I still don’t want anyone thinking that I was cured. Caring about what people think is one thing, misrepresenting myself however is another matter and I openly discussed my stuttering with many of these people for the very first time ever.
Along those thought lines I was actually hoping to be less fluent last night.
Nonetheless, even before we hit the wine I was very fluent last night, too fluent actually.
Its been 204 days since I broke down, lifted the cloak of denial and started to recl my life.
I had a wonderful time even though last night I was too fluent!!. Who would have ever thought that such a thought was possible?
Ari