I need some help

[spacebow]

Hi, I'm 16 and currently a sophmore in highschool. I'm in a sort of crisis right now. I don't know if I can call myself a stutterer anymore. If I asked myself if I was one three years ago I would have definitely said yes. It started in middle school, I was a loner back then. I'm guessing social anxiety was the cause of my stuttering. Then, upon entering high school, things started to change. I became a lot more social and made more friends than I ever did during the last decade of my life. I think I developed some sort of adaption to bypass my stuttering. Instead of repeating words, now I just talk really fast. This helps me to skip the majority of my blocks but also causes me to clutter. The thing is, I'm not sure whether this is for the better or for the worst. I'm also not sure whether to consider myself a stutterer or a clutterer. I've done some research and I match the characteristics of a stutterer but I clutter more than I stutter. Clutterers are usually unaware of their speech disorder until someone reveals it to them later in their life. I realized something was wrong with me a long time ago. I am also a very good listener because I listen more than I speak. I also know exactly what I want to say, it just doesn't come out fluently. In fact I think the only characteristics I have of a clutterer is sloppy handwriting(I can write neat if I want to) and the disfluency of giving long responses. I still share all the stuttering anxieties such as ordering food, asking for help, talking on the phone and especially public speaking/word fears. I am currently considering speech therapy, but I don't know what to tell the therapist. Am I still a stutterer or am I clutterer? is it possible to be both? I joined this board looking for opinions from fellow stutterers so please reply!

sorry for the long rant :o

[Standingtall]

First of all welcome. I use to do the same thing you are doing. I would speak real fast and it helped me get through the majority of my blocks. Family members started to tell me, 'slow down, we can't undersand you'. So, if I ask you to slow down, do you start stuttering?

Once again, welcome and don't be shy we are all pretty friendly.

[spacebow]

First of all welcome. I use to do the same thing you are doing. I would speak real fast and it helped me get through the majority of my blocks. Family members started to tell me, 'slow down, we can't undersand you'. So, if I ask you to slow down, do you start stuttering?

Once again, welcome and don't be shy we are all pretty friendly.

Nice to know I'm not alone on this one. To answer your question, when I slow down I actually suffer from blocks more than stuttering. In fact, I only mildly stutter now. Most of my stuttering comes from speaking Chinese at home because I'm just so use to the English language. The dialects start to mix with each other and thats when the stuttering occur.

[Standingtall]

Nice to know I'm not alone on this one. To answer your question, when I slow down I actually suffer from blocks more than stuttering. In fact, I only mildly stutter now. Most of my stuttering comes from speaking Chinese at home because I'm just so use to the English language. The dialects start to mix with each other and thats when the stuttering occur.
I mostly have silent blocks, but I may on somedays, repeat letters. Open your mouth and nothing. So you think your stutter is caused because of the two languages you know.