The Simplest Technique.

[Asif]

While replying to another post, I realised I had never mentioned the one technique I use most often to handle speech difficulties...
Honesty!

Imagine the scenario:
You need to speak to someone you have never met before, on the TELEPHONE!!! Oh no! Not the TELEPHONE!!!
So the first thing you say is: "Please be patient. I have a speech impediment".
Of course, you have practiced being fluent with this one phrase, so you are able to deliver it convincingly.
And what happens as a result of this statement?
Consider...

As long as you are trying to HIDE the fact you stutter, you will always be on the defensive, afraid of letting the secret out.
But if you begin a conversation by setting out the conditions of engagement, the other person will feel honour-bound to try to assist you through any difficulty.
The listener will know you are not stupid, drunk or retarded.
The listener will be impressed with your calm honesty.

This also works, naturally enough, face to face.
Employment interviews - a speciality :)

It works in classrooms:
"Um... you'll have to be patient because you KNOW I always make a mess of this :) "

So: to sum up...
Defensiveness is OUT.
Secrecy is OUT.
Avoidance is OUT.
Embarassment is OUT.
Low self-esteem is OUT.
Honesty is IN.
Acceptance is IN.
Humour is IN.
Trusting the listener is IN.
Allowing yourself to mess it all up is IN.
Being prepared for it all to go amazingly well is IN.

Sure: you're going to make a mess of it, but this time, the listener is prepared, and knows what is going on.
And you never know: maybe this time you WON'T make a mess of it :)
Asif.

[llw03c]

So: to sum up...
Defensiveness is OUT.
Secrecy is OUT.
Avoidance is OUT.
Embarassment is OUT.
Low self-esteem is OUT.
Honesty is IN.
Acceptance is IN.
Humour is IN.
Trusting the listener is IN.
Allowing yourself to mess it all up is IN.
Being prepared for it all to go amazingly well is IN.

you're in the UK right?? its watching cricket being played and the batsman is screwing up and you think you know everything watching from the pavillion..some things are just easier said than done. i agree with you but in reality i think if you just ignore it, others will.

[Asif]

I generally try to avoid being an "expert" in anything. But when it comes to stuttering, I probably am more expert than most. I've stuttered for fifty years, and for a large part of that time, I must have been one of the world's worst stutterers.
I have suffered from stuttering more than anyone else I have ever met.
So I see this this analagy to watching cricket (which I find an exceptionally silly and idiotic game) from the pavilion rather weird.
If one is able to simply ignore one's stutter, one is luckier than most.
Most severe stutterers are not able to do that. To them, their affliction is a life-destroying handicap.
People come to this forum looking for insight into how to deal with their stuttering. Or to offer insight to those looking for some.
Some of us know more than others.
Some of us are not 13 years old.
Some of us know what we are talking about.
Some of us are more "sensitive" than others.
Some of us are "aware".
And some of us are just plain stupid.
Asif.

[Sup2u]

Lets not fight. We all have different ways of dealing with our stutter and thoes people and ways should be respected.

[Asif]

Ahhhh....
Fighting is what men do.
Very sad, but what can you say???
What we need to do here is stop short of actually getting nasty and judgemental.
We're going to butt heads from time to time. It's natural :)
But point taken Sup2u: well said sir.
And we're all so damned sensitive anyway, aren't we?
Asif.

[Sup2u]

Indeed. We should all keep an open mind when it comes to ways of dealing with our affliction.

[Sup2u]

This is random but AsIf is England cool? I've never been out of the States.

[Asif]

You are asking the wrong guy.
The inside of my refrigerator is cool.
Northern Canada is cool.
England is cool in winter. And sometimes in summer too.
Cool means "cool" to me. What does it mean to you?
At 13 it is no surprise you have never been out of your own country.
I had never been out of mine until I was 16.
Big adventures are coming your way: I hope you let yourself have them.
And: Is England "cool" the way you mean "cool"? No. It's not.
At least: I don't think it is :)
Asif.

[llw03c]

I generally try to avoid being an "expert" in anything. But when it comes to stuttering, I probably am more expert than most. I've stuttered for fifty years, and for a large part of that time, I must have been one of the world's worst stutterers.
I have suffered from stuttering more than anyone else I have ever met.
So I see this this analagy to watching cricket (which I find an exceptionally silly and idiotic game) from the pavilion rather weird.
If one is able to simply ignore one's stutter, one is luckier than most.
Most severe stutterers are not able to do that. To them, their affliction is a life-destroying handicap.
People come to this forum looking for insight into how to deal with their stuttering. Or to offer insight to those looking for some.
Some of us know more than others.
Some of us are not 13 years old.
Some of us know what we are talking about.
Some of us are more "sensitive" than others.
Some of us are "aware".
And some of us are just plain stupid.
Asif.

the watching from the pavillion analogy was about thinking that something was easy to do but in actuality it isn't, but thats beside the point. the hurdle of "coming out of the closet" is easier said than done. some of us just choose to deal with out situation in different ways.

just because someone decides to deal with their affliction in a different manner to you doesn't give you the right to call anyone on this fourm stupid.

[Asif]

hmmm...
I do not subscribe to the notion of "rights". I say what I think.
Who would give me the right to speak my mind anyway?
I find I can really not be bothered any more with any of this.
The forum has degenerated into foolishness.
'Bye-'bye.
Asif.

[Professor]

asif is getting on my nerves with his dumb opinions and all his yness im sorry i just had to say it

hes not helping anyone dicouraging them online on how they should talk and what they should do to stop stuttering just my opinion.

[Sup2u]

AsIf left. Sigh... We really should stop this arguing. I am believe that every individual has their own way of dealing with their problems. And they should be respected for it. We all come to this forum with a common bond. The affliction of stuttering, lets not forget that. I do not want to see anyone leave this forum because people do not respect their ideas. That goes for anyone. We are all equal in this forum by the respect that we are looking for advice and are willing to give it.

[Professor]

yeah exactly but he always had smart comments to say about everything and disagreed with people i kno its his opinion but he doesnt haev to be soo rude about it. Yea i like this forum because everyone that comes here has something in common which is stuttering.

[Sup2u]

One thing that made me a tad bit mad about AsIf was his age discrimination. Just because one is 13 does not make his battle with stuttering less than one who is 70. We still go through the same struggle and should be treated the same.

[Professor]

yeah man i agree