Starting uni omg!

[madcap]

Hi everyone, i have a big dilemma..
I'm starting university in two days, i'm moving away from home into the student digs and im so scared now and im sure you know why!
Im scared of being rejected for my stammer and not making many friends. I don't know whether to just tell them straight out. Heres the thing, most people i know now don't even know im a stammerer, YESS im a good hider and i stammer probably about 5% of the time, though some days i can hardly say anything (and so i don't, im just quiet). So should i just not bother to say anything to my new roommates/classmates? I just hate it when i do stammer, its really embarassing and i get paranoid about what people think of me. Especially when someone doesnt know and they think you're -i hate to use this word but i cant think of another- 'normal'. I know i need to accept its a part of me and i have come a long way since it began (ive had it for two years) and i think one day i will, im working on it now. I just need some help on how to cope with it now.

Thanks for all your advice you can offer

[bwelling]

mad - you sound like your moving out of your comfort zone. I remember college like it was yesterday. Everyday was a new challange. My fears and wild imagination created bigger monsters than really existed. But you already know the end result - You'll survive it and mature .... and learn cool stuff that you can hang confidences on. Then you'll move on to life after college. Enjoy the ride.

[Marrow]

Hey madcap.

I think everyone has worries when starting out uni, i know i certainly did. I think some people are just better at hiding it than others. Its always awkward in the first few days when no one knows each other, but after that for the next 3/4 years you will have possible the best years of your life, and meet some amazing people who will become some of your closest friends

As for not making any friends. I would suggest simple things such as leaving ur dorm room open so people are more likely to say hello, and just generally try and introduce yourself to people. Also just generally attend lectures as u will meet ur coursemates that way. One more tip, try and sign up to a few sports groups or societies which ur intrested in as u will meet loads of people through there as well.

About people judging u because u have a stammer, i found that people were very non-judgemental and it wasnt a real problem for me personally. If they make a big deal of it and treat u differently then they are probably not worth hanging around with anyway.

About telling them u stutter, with me its obvious as ill probably stutter on the first word, but from what u said ur quite good at hiding it. If i was in ur position i prob wudnt mention it as i doubt people will care at all. If they are curious they will prob just ask.

Hope u have an amazing time at uni, to be honest im very jealous, id love to be starting uni again.

Laters
Nick

[happy7117]

I don't feel like typing, so I'll try to make this long story in the shortest way possible!!

I finished High School back in June 1998. Well, usualy most students do finish in June whatever grade they are in.

I graduated in January, a semester early because I got all my required courses to graduate from High School finished.

I would still be attending the graduation ceremony with my class in June though.

From January till June, since my High School senior year was finished a semester early, I decided to go to my first semester of the local college.

It was not a 4 yr college. It was a 2 yr. local college. It was called Onondoga College which is in the city from the town of where I live.

My feelings of leaving High School and starting at this 2 yr. college was exciting and nerve-wracking.

Not realy nervous of the stuttering aspect though at the time. I don't think the stuttering aspect of entering college ever crossed my mind.

I was more nervous of the course work, the new environment, getting used to the fact of having way more freedom than High School.

I was feeling excited that there would be so many new students to meet. I knew that I stuttered sure, but for some reason I couldn't wait to meet these new students.

The placement test I took got me into a pre-algebra course, a English Composition Course, and a non-credit reading course. The 3 courses I did take were non-credit.

I panicked on the Placement Test for some reason, and because of that got placed in classes that were easier for me to handle.

Now, the real point of the post!!! FRIENDS!!!

Despite my stuttering, I loved opening up to these new students. I did not openly say I stuttered because it was fairly obvious. It was also not as nasty as it is now!!

I met this one girl who looked so pretty, and had the best smile I had ever seen.

I just had to introduce myself, stutter or not!!

She had the prettiest name: Julia Smith.

I immediately noticed how kind and nice she was, and we just hit it off so well.

There was just so much I wanted to know about her, and I told her about me.

I realy wanted to call her, but she did not have a phone. I am not sure if that was the truth or not, but I trusted her.

I showed her my new watch had bought the day before, and she just had to touch it!! She seemed so interested in what I had to say wheather I stuttered or not.

I was so sad and upset, that that semester at college ended when it did. It was from Jan-to June. I would be leaving her, and she was the only friend at that local college that truly saw me for who I was.

I will never forget her! I would have gotten her number to call her, but she did not have a phone.

Julia-- you were so special to me!

[Becca]

Your stutter is probably as bad as mine and i found out that most people at uni didnt actrually notice or thought i was just nervous. There wasnt really an occasiona of saying my name in front of a big group or anything and during small group work sessions i was able to tell people about my stutter if i needed to and no one had a problem with it. I'm going in to my final year now and i live with 3 fantastic girls who probably wouldnt even class me as a stutterer, i thks its really noticable but my housemates tell me its not! I didnt really get on with my flatmates from my first year but my coursemates were brillient, they first few weeks are scarey but just be you and be open and friendly. I found it was good joining an organisation/group in the town that your at uni in that has nothing to do with students or uni. The student thing working/drinking/clubbing/drinking/shopping/drinking is fun but after a while i like a break away from it all and being with people who arent students. Where are you going to? studying? Good luck!!! x

[JDRow]

I started my third semester of college last week. I go part-time and don't live on campus, so it's different, but I still get more stressed before each semester starts than I need to. It's never as bad as I think it's going to be. I don't know about living in a dorm, but in my classes, people don't do much socializing in class unless they already knew each other. So you can just go to class and not stress too much about other people, if that's what you want.

I don't tell people I stutter, but when I talk it's obvious that I do. I did e-mail one of my professors this semester, though, because there's a presentation required for the class and I let her know that I stuttered and wanted to see if I could do another assignment, and she was fine with that. But I guess you should do whatever will make you feel more comfortable, whether it's telling people or not telling them.

[coventryunilad]

I have just started my 3rd year, at Coventry University! I have loved every minute of it, i have met so many mates, many of who will become lifelong friends! i was always especially nervous in my first year, however once you meet one mate, it all works out well from there! Presentations were always dodgey for me in lectures, but i got over them, and hope i will do in my final year.

I can honestly say my stammer hasn't stopped me from doing 95% of the things i would have done stammer or no stammer, small things like maybe going up to a girl in a club, maybe, but i find most students are nervous anyway! just enjoy it, you will find there will be alot of "different" people around the uni anyway, so 99% of decent people will take you for who you are! i joined the football team, and found that an excellent source of making new mates, this is maybe something you should think about! Feel free to add me on if you would like any advice or tips, i can give you from my past 2 years experience of uni, its ollie_barnetfc@hotmail.co.uk

good luck

[Becca]

wooooooo!!! more uk uni students!!! we're taking over this place!

[owenhargreaves]

madcap - Im similiar to you in the sense that I hide my stutter by only talking when i KNOW i wont stutter.
It sucks sometimes because people think you're really quiet.
Im in my 2nd year at uni and what I do is I try to think of things that I can say before the conversation arrives. Then when the conversation arrives, and theres a silence...I go through those things and say the things I think I will be able to say fluently :p
Tedious but effective, at least for me

[Marrow]

Hey madcap hows uni going?

I bet ur having an awesome time.

Which uni are u at anyway?