Hi from New Zealand

[Kerry]

It's great I finally found something like this! A place where people will understand my problems and not regard them as a joke.

Anyway i,m an 18 year old guy from New Zealand in my first year of an engineering degree. I guess i have had my stutter for as long as I can remember, but it has got worse since about 5 years ago.

I,m terrified of the phone. On a good day I can handle face to face conversation, but never on the phone. If I find I,m in a room by myself that has a phone in it, I will get out of there!

I have never been on a date, just the thought of it terrifies me!

I really do not know what to do. I guess I just need other people to talk to who face the same issues as me.

Anyway enough about me! Thanks for reading my thread and I hope I will get to talk to some of you later.

[Box of Clocks]

Hello. Much like yourself I have not been on a date either. I also have a dislike for the telephone, especially if I have to make a call myself and start off the conversastion.

[timitao]

cheers for the thread kerry, the phones not my favourite thing either!

chat to you in forum.

good you've decided to come aboard.

[Tinkabell]

Hi Kerry!

I just joined this forum not long ago (last week). After reading through some of the threads on this forum, I felt better. I realize that I'm not alone and that alot of things that had happen and what I face on a daily basis is not abnormal. People on this forum faces those problems and obstacles too. I feel like I belong instead of being an outcast.

TELEPHONE
I used to be really afraid of the telephone, I would always avoid it in every situation. The sound of the ringing makes my heart shake and my hands would sweat.

I can't say that I'm not afraid of the phone anymore because I still hesitate to answer or make a call. But as life goes on and my job requires me to talk to people on a daily basis. At the beginning it was bad and somedays it's still bad. But my fear of the telephone has decreased.

I realize that I'm the cause of my fear and it's very difficult to not be afraid. But once you train yourself to think positively. You'll realize your fears slowly diminishes and you will also notice a great change in your stuttering/blocking. If I had one good conversation on the telephone out of the whole day. I'm happy and to have more good conversations the next time.

There are people that you don't want to talk to because they make you more stress by being impatient and just generally rude. This is how I motivate myself:

People hanging up on you - Call back, again and again and again until they listen. Sometimes another person will pick up and are able to listen and help you.

Test drive - Call people that you know can't hang up on you because it's their job to listen. Like your bank or credit card company or any bills that you have and ask random question. Are you sure my bill is correct? etc. When you do this often enough, you are less afraid of just picking up the phone and calling.

RELATIONSHIPS
When I was your age, I thought I would never find anyone because I stuttered. There were all these questions in my mind: how would we communicate? if they asked me out and I can't say yes, what would I do? how would I be able to talk to him if he calls me? etc.

I met my husband when I was 18...online lol. Weird story but I hope it's inspirational. I first got my computer and had dial up aol. I wanted to create my profile back then with all colors and special fonts but I didn't know how to. I searched on the aol directory members and looked at their profiles to see if that's the type of style I wanted and then IMed them.

Hardly any responded so I gave up. Couple of hours later I got a response from my husband (then he was a stranger) and he thought I was his friends messing around. Helped me with my profile and that was that.

About 6 months later, I got an IM from him asking how I was and just to catch up. Then it started from there. I never told him I stutter I guess I was embarrassed and ashamed. I visited him the first time in the US and it was soo scary, I bought a friend with me. And I still haven't told him I stuttered. Then I would try to hide it by not saying anything lol. Now when I asked him what he thought of me when we first met. He said I was kinda cold lol but he already knew me from all our conversation online. We talked for almost 2 years before we met.

On the first day of meeting one another, he told me that "you're soo cute when you stutter" ... well the cat was out of the bag. But I was soo relaxed when I realize that he didn't care that I stutter and then we went on to build a great relationship because he's soo loving and understanding.

What I'm trying to say is, there's someone out there for everyone. I thought I couldn't date because I stutter but when you meet the right person, they don't care that you stutter. And who's to say you won't be able to communicate. I hardly ever stutter with my husband even on the phone.

I know I know...this reply was very long. :D

[Standingtall]

A quick hello kerry, good to meet you. You will find a lot of good people and tons of advice. Make yourself at home and we will chat later.

[Becca]

hello!!! i hate phones too, my mentor (i'm a student nurse) is always saying "oh just phone and..." thinking its so easy, but theres no "just" about it for me! and i hate answerphones and voicemail!
i dont think i've ever been on an official date with someone i've not met very much but i've had a serious bf that i knew well before we went out. and any guy i've had relationships with i've always known before and it makes it easier of they know you stutter. be brave!!! have fun here!