is stuttering - a cause of many unhappy feelings?

[nick1991]

Hi all. Im sort of new to this forum. For me, this site is so vital, i don't know where i's be without it.

please spare of your time and read this. I'd be soooo grateful.

I feel really depressed at the moment. I really don't know what is causing my depression. I keep on thinking that it is my stutter but it is much, much deeper than that. Something that i find worse than stuttering is being drawn away from the people i love. I love my dad, yet i cannot talk to him, and i love my friends but i am sometimes too shy to venture out with them. I want to have conversations with these kinds of people but my damn stutter doesn't let me. I end up just being silent with people that i would normally talk to. In situations i should be having fun and enjoying myself, i am not and instead i feel frustrated ashamed and sad. I'm sure all of you know these feelings very well. My friends, my family know that there is something wrong, i know there is but it isn't just a stutter, it's something else, and i don't know what. I kind even describe the feelings i feel at the moment, i'm in my first year in college, i've stuck with my friends through secondary school so i've got a pretty small circle of friends, i have too much time on my hands, i cant express my feelings with my family. It is hell. I don't want to grow old and look back on a wasted life. I also love all of you guys. God bless.

This is a rubbish post i know but it's just how i feel.

[Roley]

Nick,

Your post is anything but rubbish. I'm sure the great majority of us have had depression caused by our stuttering. But hey man there's nothing for you to be ashamed of.

I'd recommend that you talk with a therapist who can help with you deal with your depression and stress. Once you start dealing with both, life in general will start getting better.

[andyr78]

I suppose my first question would be why can't you talk with your Dad? Even when my speech was at it's worst I could still speak with my parents.

I am also new to this forum. Stick with it, it really helps to be able to communicate with other people who have your same feelings. Know about your everyday situations and know what you are talking about.

[nate]

I suppose my first question would be why can't you talk with your Dad? Even when my speech was at it's worst I could still speak with my parents.


Many times we cant speak with our parents because they can be very judgemental-its like being in a f*^#ing pressure-cooker. They may not say anything but my uncle/father'd always make this rotating motion with his hand when I stutter. Or sometimes he'd raise up his hand for me to stop. Then he'd offer that scumbum( to use happy's words) advice that we all hate so much. And it's frustrating coz by now he of all people should know its not that simple!

As for your feelings of deep depression and anxiety, I dont know what to say except I've been there. Hang in there and it will get better. Its a long and painful process of just accepting it as a part of you and becoming confident about who u really r. And realising that you have a lot to offer the world and just because u r not the best speaker, u can still be a good communicator, a good son, a good friend, a good partner, a good parent, and a good person. And in the end it wont matter if u stuttered.
Where am I when I need advice???!!!:p

Cheers mate:D

[Roley]

Nate made a wonderful statement in another thread ...

"Stuttering is just something you do, not what you are."

Say that over and over to yourself.

[JDRow]

I'd recommend that you talk with a therapist who can help with you deal with your depression and stress. Once you start dealing with both, life in general will start getting better.

I agree. I think it's important not to attribute everything to stuttering. Obviously stuttering can cause some unhappiness, but if you're depressed, it's probably not the only thing going on. It's not like stutterers are immune from getting depressed like everybody else, you know?

I was very depressed a couple of years ago and, while stuttering had something to do with it and probably made it worse because I felt very isolated on top of being depressed, I don't think stuttering caused the depression. I was able, with some therapy and medication, to feel a lot better while still stuttering.

[Standingtall]

Hey Nick, i feel you brother. I have my battles with the devil, there are a day or two a week i get depressed because i get the feeling people don't care what i have to say on this forum. I have been here a long time, not as long as Adam, aka Happy and i have made a few friends.

Let's see if this form advice will help. What helps me is keep your mind busy and you will not have time to think of getting depressed. Don' be shy, you are being selfish, because you depriving your world of who you are. You have a right to give your friends and family the very best of you, as they gave you their very best in the way they know how. You already showed us what a wonderful person you are, not do the same with your family and friends. Think of ways to connect with them. Remember everybody is different and you have to find a way or a level to connect with them. We are all human and we all get depressed, but the time you spend there is all your decision. I suggest you don't wast too much of your time there.