Family - are they there to help?

[nick1991]

I really need someone to back me up here. I do not like my family. I hate my sister, i dislike my mum - she doesn't understand me, i dislike my stepdad, my step mum and my dad is nice but we dont talk and i have my friends but i'm not sure if they like me or not. What's bugging me at the moment is the lack of support i feel. My sister hates me aswell and strangely enough, it's because i'm quiet, that being because i stutter. My family seems to think i am retard just because i have a stutter and i hate it. I feel so alone because and like i am going nowhere as i hate myself awell. I haven't done anything wrong but just feel i shouldn't have really been born if i feel like this every morning and night. I'm also afraid of my parents and sister not because they are terrible but because they get annoyed when i stutter and i end up spending most of my time alon, away from them. I never used to feel this way and i'm really worried about it. Virtually every day now i feel depressed, alone, self concious and i just want the world to swallow me up. I hate the way stuttering can do this to a person, turn their family and friends into their enemy.

[tb1223]

I think you should try sitting down and having a talk with them. Tell them how you feel, and that you are upset, and they will surely understand. From what you wrote it sounds like you've become alienated from your family due to lack of communication. They probably don't even know that you're bothered by their behavior--if you let them know, they will almost certainly empathize with you.

[bwelling]

I really need someone to back me up here. I do not like my family. I hate my sister, i dislike my mum - she doesn't understand me, i dislike my stepdad, my step mum and my dad is nice but we dont talk and i have my friends but i'm not sure if they like me or not. What's bugging me at the moment is the lack of support i feel. My sister hates me aswell and strangely enough, it's because i'm quiet, that being because i stutter. My family seems to think i am retard just because i have a stutter and i hate it. I feel so alone because and like i am going nowhere as i hate myself awell. I haven't done anything wrong but just feel i shouldn't have really been born if i feel like this every morning and night. I'm also afraid of my parents and sister not because they are terrible but because they get annoyed when i stutter and i end up spending most of my time alon, away from them. I never used to feel this way and i'm really worried about it. Virtually every day now i feel depressed, alone, self concious and i just want the world to swallow me up. I hate the way stuttering can do this to a person, turn their family and friends into their enemy.


nick1991 - I remember that so well in my life. The speech therapy at the time when I grew up was blaming the father for a stuttering son. Boy, I felt like I was the worst thing that could happen to my family.

I struggle with that whole perception even today. It takes a lot digging deep inside to find value.

Basically, I have to realize that I may have seen myself a handicap and embarrassment to others in the past --- but I don't have to live in that past. I can choose to live in a future where I choose to see myself as uniquely gifted and worthy of everything in life.

bw

[JDRow]

I never used to feel this way and i'm really worried about it.

If you never felt this way before, then maybe it has more to do with what you think your family's thinking than what they actually are thinking. I agree with tb1223 that, since that's the case, you should talk to them.

My family is, for the most part, extremely unsupportive. I have an older sister and brother who are great, and have always been really supportive, but the rest of my family isn't. For a while I ended up pretty much breaking contact with them, because it seemed like every time we got together I ended up feeling like crap, and I was also really angry about stuff that had happened in the past. Then there were some family crises and it started to seem petty to be avoiding them. Now I do see my parents and my other siblings pretty regularly, and I just try not to be overly concerned about things they might say that bother me, and just let stuff that happened be stuff that happened and is over. I guess right now I feel like, that's how they are, and if I want them to accept me for who I am, I have to start by doing the same for them.

I've been really lucky that my girlfriend's (now fiancee's, actually :D) parents are amazing people. They are so supportive and accepting. I don't know, I think it's easier to deal with your family as they are if you have other people who are more understanding in your life.