Some general questions about stuttering ...

[svetlana44]

I do not stutter, but I know a guy who does, and I have two kind of general questions.

1. I always feel self-conscious when I speak around him, because I feel as if he is ultra-sensitive to the way I say things, or if I stumble on a word or phrase, he is being judgmental in some way. I know it is probably ridiculous to think that way, but is there any truth to that – as a stutterer, do you think you’re more aware of other people’s speech?

2. One of the things this guy does a lot is insert filler words, but not just a quick “um”; he usually will say “ahhhhhhhhhh” several times a sentence if he is struggling. Is this a primary or secondary sign of stuttering? If it is secondary, then is it an attempt to find a word he will not stutter on?

I hope I haven’t insulted anyone. I am genuinely curious.

[nate]

I do not stutter, but I know a guy who does, and I have two kind of general questions.

1. I always feel self-conscious when I speak around him, because I feel as if he is ultra-sensitive to the way I say things, or if I stumble on a word or phrase, he is being judgmental in some way. I know it is probably ridiculous to think that way, but is there any truth to that – as a stutterer, do you think you’re more aware of other people’s speech?

2. One of the things this guy does a lot is insert filler words, but not just a quick “um”; he usually will say “ahhhhhhhhhh” several times a sentence if he is struggling. Is this a primary or secondary sign of stuttering? If it is secondary, then is it an attempt to find a word he will not stutter on?

I hope I haven’t insulted anyone. I am genuinely curious.

1.Yeh
2.Secondary, Maybe. Or he's waiting for the mechanism to unlock to stop. I do that alot too.
Nate

[eva]

1. yes i pay attention to other people's speech, but being judgmental..? i dont think you should worry about it.

2. id say its not an attempt to find a word he will not stutter on. i do that quite a lot too, if im having a hard time and words dont come out, filler words give me time to get over a block if nothing else. i feel its better to say ummmm or ahhhhhh than just keep on struggling with the word that my system isnt ready to get out yet.

But maybe you should ask him how he feels about it, after all we are all different persons. Thou im aware of other people's speech, im not sure how comfortable would i feel knowing other people paying a lot of attention to my speech.. i'd prefer people just to let me stutter, if they're curious about my primary or secondary signs of stuttering when i talk to them, they can always ask, but otherwise its none of their business. i speak the way i do, they have their own fluent kind of speech, it shouldnt be a big deal.

[klbrooks]

Go to my blog at www.madstutter.com

KB

[bignick]

Hi,

Firstly I would like to say how good it is that you are asking these questions to try and understand your friends feellings.

In answer to question 1, like the others, I always pay attention to how others speak but not in a judgemental way.
I say er or ah when I am struggling on certain words or sometimes it helps me start a sentence.
I also agree with Eva and I would ask him about it, explain that you want to know more about it, about him and what he goes through.

Nice to have you on the forum.

Nick

[bwelling]

Hello svelt. Welcome - if this is a person you care about and you want to be conversational with him - then, be honest with him about these feelings and concerns. I'm sure his answers will let you know how to proceed.

very good questions, thanks for asking
bw

[climberszen]

I also agree with Eva, ask... although it may be awkard.... because people usually don't ask stutters questions... sadly I would very much like people to ask me stuff....

As for your questions.. yes to 1
for 2 - could be a whole host of things.. blockage, elongation, filler word... stutters find all types of filler words that work... I use to use "just" all of the time.. but broke the habit in collge when I realized that using the word in inappropriate places must really sound "dumb" :D

[emily445455]

I do not stutter, but I know a guy who does, and I have two kind of general questions.

1. I always feel self-conscious when I speak around him, because I feel as if he is ultra-sensitive to the way I say things, or if I stumble on a word or phrase, he is being judgmental in some way. I know it is probably ridiculous to think that way, but is there any truth to that – as a stutterer, do you think you’re more aware of other people’s speech?

2. One of the things this guy does a lot is insert filler words, but not just a quick “um”; he usually will say “ahhhhhhhhhh” several times a sentence if he is struggling. Is this a primary or secondary sign of stuttering? If it is secondary, then is it an attempt to find a word he will not stutter on?

I hope I haven’t insulted anyone. I am genuinely curious.

Welcome to the forum :)

1) I do listen to people's speech more carefully than I think non-stutterers (and non-SLP's, lol) do. But I am in no way judgemental of their speech, even if they mess up or have a speech problem

2) It depends on the person. Sometimes I say "ahhhh" to try to buy me time to think of a filler word. I know people who say "ahhhh" who are locked in a block and/or face twitch and can't move on until it goes away.

Thanks for asking questions about it, I wish more would :)