feeling sad:(

[lemon]

hi, just wanted to write about how ive been feeling lately, which is pretty crap. ive been looking for a job for so long now and ive moved out of home as my family and i do not get on. well, i really dont think its through my lack of trying as ive been to so many recruitment companies and done so many applications and such but i still cant get a job. its getting to the point where ive got loans and borrowing money.
when i did have an interview last week, i completely messed it up. i stuttered the moment i walked in even to tell the receptionist who i was and that i had an interview. and then the actual interview went so bad, i stuttered on every question and it took so long for to answer anything. the look on their faces was horrific. they didnt quite know what to do but continued with the questions. i look back at all my big stuttering incidences and this was i think most severe. i literally couldnt say anything, even though i had prepared so much that i knew my answers.
i just dont think i can ever get a job. im really beginning to believe that im going to be stuck like this for so long. its hard enough getting through the application stage and when i finally get an interview i mess it up. i just dont know what to do.
help? advice? i just feel like im getting depressed from being unemployed when all my friends have got a job and also financially, i cant support myself for much longer and im sorry this post is so depressing. thankyou for reading. x

[hafidmetal]

man i have got the same feelings...i feel for you..me too im not working just cus i have missed lot of opportinities...and now im just looking for lower jobs that dont consider interviewing as something important..i got sad when i saw all my friends are working good jobs and they can support themselves while im not..i still rely on my family which is so bad at the age of 26...but im still hoping my life will change someday cus i got so much determination and courage..just be patient,u will get this job soon..believe in urself and know that stuttering is not you and befor the interview tell the interviewer u are a stutterer,this way u will feel bit relaxed while answering his questions..wish u the best of luck

[Bill Hargis]

Hang in there lemon, several of us have been there, I started out doing menial work that no one else wanted. I worked hard and fast and built up a reputation as a better than average worker. Soon I got a better job, and it was all uphill from there, I became a welder and turbine mechanic after I convinced my employer that I was not retarded and retired at 62 with a good pension.

[mos]

dont feel down m8.

goto your local job centre and tell them about the situation that your are faced with. maybe they can advise you on disiability benefit etc and have you also considered apprentiships?

mos

[Box of Clocks]

As mos said an apprentership could be a good idea but having said that you wouldn't get much money doing that so if you live on your own you probably wouldn't make enough to live on. If you could get some sort of disability payment that might help but I don't know if you would feel comfortable doing that.

When you apply for a job it might be a good idea to mention that you stutter on the application form so that it wouldn't come as such a surprise to the person conducting the interview if you were to stutter. The downside to this is that it might put the company off and as a result you might not even make it to the interview stage.

You could try joining a job/recruitment agency as they will probably find you work fairly quickly but usually with these type of things the jobs are very boring, things like warehouse and assembly work.

[nate]

hi, just wanted to write about how ive been feeling lately, which is pretty crap. ive been looking for a job for so long now and ive moved out of home as my family and i do not get on.

Oh Brother!
I'm so sorry for you. If u lived in Sudan I could maybe give you a connex.
But I find that when you have a dream, whatever it may be, if you do one thing everyday to make it come true, usually it does. But its not easy. If u live in the US this is the worst time in like 100 yrs to try to enter the job market. And when the US sneezes the whole bloody universe catches pneumonia.
My only advice is figure out exactly what u love to do, and then make that vision a reality. I know u can do it.
I will recommend a book-The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. Perhaps you can draw from it some inspiration, at the very least it will take your mind off things.
Take care, this too shall come to pass. By the will of God. Start afresh today, because your past is not equal to your future.

Nate

[lemon]

hey thankyou for the replies to my post. i felt happier when i read them, thanks:)

hafidmetal- thanks for your positive message. i agree that looking into lower paid jobs may help to avoid the interviewing stage- and i have been applying for those positions too. i think its good that you have support of your family- you mentioned you were 26 and live at home etc, but its good you have them to help you. im living with friends at the moment, but its tough, and i wished i got with my family so i didnt have to move out. i guess i wanted to show them i could do it on my own- and i havent, as i cant fully support myself. i dont speak to my parents or family about my stutter- they seem to think its down to me being nervous- they dont acknowledge its a disability-they see it as me not being calm. they wish i would just snap out of it! what job do you just out of interest?

bill-hi, thanks for your post too. its good to hear that there is hope! and its inspiring to hear that you have done well for yourself and managed to build a career up and get through the obstacles. i hope i can overcome the interview stage which seems to be the main problem of my job search.

mos- thanks for your advice. i have been considering the job centre to ask about disability benefits etc. i mean ideally i dont really want to rely on benefits etc as i am really wanting to work and really want to do something rather than collect benefits but i guess it would help financially in the meantime. ill look in to it. i havent really thought about an apprenticeship. its just that im 22 and ive recently graduated from university last year so i have done my share of education and was really looking forwards to getting into the real world and getting a real jobs and all that...but it hasnt worked out that way...i mean i wouldnt mind learning more, and more education, but are usually for those out of school who want to get into a trade. i did a degree because i wanted that to lead me into a career.

all my friends who graduated at university with me have all got a high paying job and yet im still unemployed and i cant even get a low paying job.

box of clocks- hey, thanks for your comment too. like i said above, i will investigate the disability benefits thing, thanks for mentioning that idea. i havent been putting that i stutter on applications because i dont feel that i stutter on an everyday basis. i feel that i really only stutter very badly in interviews or very tense situations, but when im doing everyday things like asking for things in shops, buying tickets and answering the phone- i feel that i can get by with hardly stuttering, perhaps on the odd word but its not noticeable. so i feel if i put it on the application they may think i wont be able to carry out the job in say a role which requires me to take phone calls for example. ive worked in a shop before taking phone calls and serving customers, and i managed to do it without hardly stuttering. its really that i cant get through the interview stage cos even if im calm and ive practise so much for it, i know its an interview and i get in there and my hearts pounding away and i cant speak:(
i have joined about 5 recruitment agencies and they have found me hardly anything. when i go for the interview with them to register, its been ok, ive hardly stuttered with them. and even down to the preparing the interview with them the day before- im ok, yet when the actual interview comes- it goes wrong. hmmmm....

nate- hello, i live in england but i know what you mean about entering the job market- its tough. be it in USA or England...Your comment was very positive too, thankyou. i have already read the alchemist actually! a few years back, but ill re-read it to remind myself that i need to remember my dreams and that to keep working at it...

thanks again...today is happier:) x

[andrewg818]

1. When I stuttered-- I was so fearful of the job interviewing process, that I avoided it-- in a different way: I became an entrepreneur.. I created my own business, in my case, based on WRITING--while I was a senior in college. By the time I was 28, I had retired***. Interestingly, along the way, I feared interviewing other people to work for me..Later on, I learned that we all experience similar fears..whether we're PSWs or otherwise.. Anyhow, the moral of the story: I didn't do anything that you or anyone else can't do-- If you must fear interviewing to the point of being virtually unable to speak--then consider creating your OWN job. Had it not been for stuttering, I might not have ever become so financially successful--- Turn your negative into a positive too !

2. Consider writing letters to 100+ prospective employers in advance. Let the focus of the letter be about your positive attributes--include a line where you mention that you stutter--but turn it into a POSITIVE--not a handicap-- speak from your heart to their heart about how courageous and outgoing you are--and about how you NEVER let it stop you...and -- how it's actually a PLUS--This will break the ice re: "the issue"-- in advance-- It will set the stage for it to be a "positive"--- and it will put you and the employer at greater ease [you will still be nervous, most likely, --- after all, job interviews are anxiety-provoking for most people !]

3. Similar to #2 above-- Instead of struggling anxiously through your blocks.. wondering what they are thinking-- Address the issue RIGHT AWAY... Let the first answer you give to ANY question--relate to your stuttering in a POSTIVIE way... i.e. "What are some of the positive things you can bring to our company? " -- "Determination..As someone who struggles with almost every word I speak [smile proudly], I have learned time and time again how persistence overcomes resistance...Courage [relate it to your speech]... Integrity.. Dedication.. Committment.... --relate these all to your speech]
That's not the exact answer, obviously---you determine YOURS--but whatever FIRST question they ask you-- turn it into a positive* about your SPEECH--- Get it out in the open-- in a POSITIVE non-victim way

4. While you stutter, SMILE-- joke... be INTERPERsONAL... If you look uncomfortable, they will reflect that.. Let THEM feel at ease-- Let them know that it's OK to smile-- joke... Think about how you would feel..if someone looked scared, frigthened, uncomfortable w/ themselves AND was strugglign to speak-- Your concern --the look you see on their face(s) is/would be --- about HOW to react... Relieve THEIR tension... w/ YOUR smile and your open talk about it [in a POSITIVE, non-handicap/non-victim like way]--- smile joke--- have fun w/ it..
Many people who have never stuttered go throguh many interviews w/out EVER being hired...and they often think/associate "The employer was looking at me like I was ___ [something negative]-- The truth is--you'll never know WHAT an employer or anyone is thinking about you unless you ASK/talk about it openly-- Even then, you probably wont know the full truth.. In fact, unless you talk about it, you know.. NADA... You're only guessing and scaring yourself... Maybe the employer is a closet stutterer.. Maybe their child, parent, sibling, or best friend stutters...Maybe they find the topic intriguing and they're wondernig--based on YOUR reaction--if it's OK to ask/talk about it.. YOU take the lead! It wont get you a 100% close rate on interviews..but hardly anyone has that.. go to 10-15 interviews w/ THAT mnidset--and willingness to be OK and HAPPY and SMILEY through it all-- [and open]--and watch how much better the results are !

5. Get some speech therapy w/ a focus on getting you more fluent at job interviews. #3 above--would be much more effective.. if you were talking about how you are overcomign stuttering..and showing the interviewer a device and/or a technique---that you are using--and turning it into a positive, self-building up feat of strength, courage, and commitment; traits you will carry into your job.

Most importantly-- KEEP GOING !!

[JCarver]

April 3, 2008

Fellow Stutterers,
Thank God for this site. A little information about me… I’m 41 and a life- long stutterer. I think that I am a pretty successful (Thank God) business owner. I own a couple different firms. Still, I am terrified to speak although my businesses require it of me. One of my businesses is a Insurance/Financial Planning firm, another a greeting card company while another I have authored a self-help book. I get so frustrated with myself as I wish fluency would, one day, be my friend. Regardless, I push on and you can too. I desire to be an inspiration/encouragement to those who desire it.

A couple ideas, I know those of us who stutter wish they could express themselves without the embarrassment of our speech. I found a way…my greeting card business…it’s awesome. You can try it for free at www.sendoutcards.com/10327 It’s a way for you to express your feelings in a card in a way that just won’t come out your mouth.

Another idea is to read my book. It clearly tells of my struggles and how I was able to deal with them.
http://www.lulu.com/content/2134271 This site is where you can get more information about my book.

Again, my role (here) is not to sell you anything but put tools in your hands to do something regardless of your struggle. You can overcome anything. Let me help!

John Carver
The Carver Group
15 E Main St #223
Westminster, MD 21157
JohnCarver@hughes.net – Email
410-905-8336 - Cell

[Danny]

Don't low by going after the low-paying jobs. You have skills and you've got talent. You deserve to get the job that is perfect for YOU. Don't underachieve just because of your stutter.

On your next interview, try something different: tell the interviewer that you stutter at the beginning of the interview. Radical idea, I know, but what can you lose?

NEVER EVER GIVE UP.

[zerocool79]

Hey Lemon,

Man, we all feel your words deeply and understand. I send all my best wishes for you and I believe this rough time will pass. Being stutters, we go through so much pain and suffering that people can't imagine. I stutter a 5/10 being 10 the worst. Many times this seems mild when compared to others who have a severe stutter. I admire you because even in this hole you are struggling.

I think Andrew's advice is a very good one. There are many ways of making money and we stutterers are very bright people with great creativity. Have you tried making money in the internet? There are many other ways but I make some cash online and it helps. Just find your passion and follow it. It seems impossible to go on but we only have 1 life and we have to live it to the fullest. If you don't, when you are old in bed you will say, " Dang, I let stuttering beat me, I can't believe I wasted my time being depressed when I had health, was bright, and had so many things I could do" Remember this and put some spark to your life.

PEACE

My stutter blog (http://stutterstories.blogspot.com)