Did I avoid a situation?

[happy7117]

A few hours ago, I went out to eat at a place I eat at all the time.

This time was a little different then most.

I go in to this favorite place of mine, have this huge stutter thing, and can barely talk.

I then said something like " I got to go catch the bus" when in fact I didn't realy have to catch the bus because it did not come for 2 hrs.

Was this realy an avoidance situation caused by the stuttering???

I wanted to stay and eat, but I felt extremely embarrassed because of that stuttering, so I left.

[Danny]

If you left the place, then you avoided the situation. Don't worry-- people who work with the general public meet all kinds. You don't have to be perfect. In fact, nobody is. Stutter away. Even if it's that bad, just write it down. I remember once long ago, I was serving a person who was mute. It was all cool.

[happy7117]

If you left the place, then you avoided the situation..

Had I stayed, I would have felt like crap! It would not been a pleasent time eating.

Stutter away..

Your stutter must be not as bad or severe as mine, otherwise you would not mind just stuttering away.
A stutterer who stutters sometimes probably does not mind stuttering. But with nasty stuttering like me, it is a daily ordeal.


Even if it's that bad, just write it down..

Stuttering badly is horrible but writing it down somehow makes me feel worse because that is like the last resort to wanting to get a message across.


I remember once long ago, I was serving a person who was mute. It was all cool.

How in the world was this mute able to order if he or she could not speak????

It is worse when the person can speak, but stutterers so bad he can't speak.

I wish I could make sense out of my last statment.

[andrewg818]

It is ok to leave. It would've been ok to stay.
It is ALL ok.
Consider --- Who made you feel bad? Only the guy in the mirror. Whose choice will it be to stop making that guy feel bad when stuff like that happens? Only yours. Fluent people go through the same stuff, Happy, they really do : ) Are you able to envision a future version of yourself..who lets those things just go..who treats yourself kindly..who does NOT take you outside and away--but gives you loving, gentle support instead? If so, that future is possible for you.. If not, just give it time.. Relax..
also note--that you don't feel good about leaving obviously-- would you have felt bad staying? perhaps.. but FEEL it--- instead of supressing/hiding feelings-- FEEL them [that's why they're called FEELings ; D]--when you do so-- they will burn away..that "button" w/in you will no longer be pushable--when you feel it through--until it's flame is extinguished..

[tb1223]

Had I stayed, I would have felt like crap! It would not been a pleasent time eating.



Your stutter must be not as bad or severe as mine, otherwise you would not mind just stuttering away.
A stutterer who stutters sometimes probably does not mind stuttering. But with nasty stuttering like me, it is a daily ordeal.




Stuttering badly is horrible but writing it down somehow makes me feel worse because that is like the last resort to wanting to get a message across.




How in the world was this mute able to order if he or she could not speak????

It is worse when the person can speak, but stutterers so bad he can't speak.

I wish I could make sense out of my last statment.

I think you should have stayed. Sure it feels embarrassing. Sure it feels degrading. But so what? I don't know about anybody else, but the last thing I want is for people to pity me because I stutter. If you walk out of the restaurant because you're embarrassed of your stutter, the people in the restaurant aren't laughing at you; they feel sorry for you. If you choose to stay, they still might feel sorry for you, but they also think: "Wow, how could he manage to deal with something like that? He must have a lot of guts." You will give off the impression that you are confident, and that your stutter doesn't bother you (even if it does). You can't change your stuttering, but you can change the impression you give off to other people. And if your stutter is severe, then all the better--it takes more guts to endure that situation with a severe stutter than with a mild stutter, and people will recognize that (if you give them a chance).

[andrewg818]

I would add that most importantly, you can change the impression you hold about YOURSELF.

[tb1223]

I would add that most importantly, you can change the impression you hold about YOURSELF.

Yes, eventually. That is not necessarily the first step though.

[emily445455]

Yes, it sounds like you avoided it. I avoid all kinds of situations where I have to talk with people...people who know about my stutter and people who don't know alike. I'm getting better at this. But it's a daily struggle.

[Danny]

Had I stayed, I would have felt like crap! It would not been a pleasent time eating.



Your stutter must be not as bad or severe as mine, otherwise you would not mind just stuttering away.
A stutterer who stutters sometimes probably does not mind stuttering. But with nasty stuttering like me, it is a daily ordeal.


I can tell you a million stoires where I couldn't get an order out. to this day, I still can't say 'mochaccino' without spending a good long minute stuttering each syllable. I still order it and would never give up drinking that delicious drink just because I can't pronounce it :) Sometimes I get weird looks, other times they understand. I don't have to be their best friend. I'm just another customer whose money they want no matter how they get it.

[happy7117]

Today I went to that same place out to eat. I had a great time because I was super fluent, because of that situation I wrote about in my other post.

I stayed all day because I was super fluent and did not make an embarrassed mess of myself wih that nasty dysfluent stuff!

If I was a stuttering wreck though, I would have felt to embarrased because of the stuttering to stay...