Help, school.

[Mcnutters]

Hi. Im new

This is about reading in class in front of people.... I'm always so nervous to and i always get little blocks on C's and D's stuff like that and i start shakeing so my mom called the school and the teacher to tell her all this stuff and im 17.. i felt SO embarrssed my teacher said she really didnt know that much but i knew i did she said she would lightin up on me reading but i felt so sad and pathetic. The bad thing about reading in front of class when your going good and your all happy then you see a word that you KNOW you will mess up on sometimes i just go woops lost my place and i just cant deal with this anymore im getting Xanaxs to calm me down. Anyone know what im talkin about, or when people ask your name and of course mine is Danny..I can sometimes say it and sometimes i try and my eyes close and get real tensed anyone have this problem??? just school is hard to deal with when you stutter.

[mo885]

Hi Danny,

I can definitely relate looking back at high school. One good thing I can tell you is that people in college are much more understanding then they were in high school.

[Mcnutters]

Yea im not going to college though :( i just want to finsh school. At 12th grade project i have to present a BIG show or something like that and im scared shitless

[dream431ca]

Heh. I had lots and lots of trouble in school. When I was in grade 8, I had to take a public speaking course. It's funny that I'm not afraid to talk to a large group of people (many people who don't stutter have a huge problem doing that).

I stuttered all the time in that course. Of course I felt a little embarrassed, but I got through it.

I have trouble saying my name sometimes as well. School is quite possibly the hardest time in a stutter's life to get through, but when it's done, you feel great.
Keep on going man. Don't give up. :)

[bolo]

Hey Danny,

Welcome to the forum, I know exactly what you're going through having been through it too. My worst memorys of school were the french lessons. I can picture it as if it was yesterday, The classroom layout was with tables all around the outside in a big square so that everyone faced inside so we could all see each other, with the teacher at the head of the room.. Everytime we'd start reading from the books, my heart would stop.. someone would start reading.. then the teacher would say stop.. pause.. look around and call someone elses name out.

That pause is one of my worst memorys, Its like the wait on a quiz show when the host announces the winner or answer but waits then says "we'll find out.. after the break...." leaving everyone hanging on in anticipation..

Dreading that my name will be called...

Sometimes it wouldnt be so bad depending what we were reading.. If we were all having to introduce ourselves first, then oh dear dear... that was the worst case scenario.. I hated every second of that class and just wanted to disappear under my desk. My name also begins with the dreaded letter D, so having to say Je'mapelle David was tough.. its amazing how many times I'd get confused and think there were actually ten d's in the word David rather than one.

Looking back now, wondering wether I'd act any different I think I would. For a start back then I was desperately trying to hide my stutter.. Speaking with friends it wouldnt be evident, and lots of people never knew I had a problem.. Just scenarios like that it would manifest itself.

So if I can give you any advice at all... it would simply be to try not to even think about and go with the attitude of "so f***ing what if I stutter or not., its not the end of the world". So take a deep breath and If you can convince yourself not to give a s**t about it and what people think then i'm pretty sure you'll find that it wont happen as much if at all.

[nuno1976]

Hi,

My God, I can completely relate to what you're going through! I'm 32 now, but I remember very well how high school was simply awful. Like bolo said in his post, I absolutely hated those classes where the teacher would randomly select someone to read and then, after what seemed a random amount of time, would randomly pick someone to continue. It was torture sitting there and waiting, my hands sweating, etc.

Interestingly, I only started stuttering when saying my first name when I was about 22, by the time I started looking for a job. I'm pretty sure it was not a coincidence...

I know this is incredibly difficult to do, especially in high-school, but my advise to you is to avoid any "avoidance" behaviors to hide your stutter. I've been there and that paths leads nowhere. You just end up avoiding any situation where you need to speak, and your life very quickly becomes a living hell where you're CONSTANTLY worrying about stuttering.

I know it's tough but take comfort in the fact that we've all been there and we managed to survive and so will you!

[JDRow]

I can definitely relate to what you're feeling. I would just not read if I was called on to do it, but that's probably not the best way to handle it.

I agree that it's better not to avoid things, but if having to do a big presentation is really stressing you out, I'd talk to somebody at the school about it. I would have dropped out of school before I would have given a big presentation. Maybe I'm just making excuses for myself, but I think that if you really don't feel like you're ready for something, and it's just going to cause you months of stress, it's okay to find an alternative assignment or something. As long as you are taking steps to avoid less, I think it's okay to give yourself a break on certain things.

I made the mistake when I was in school of assuming that the people who gave me crap for stuttering (and it really wasn't that many people, by the time I got to the end of high school) were just saying what everybody else thought but were too polite to say. I assumed that everybody else felt the same way. And now I think that was pretty stupid, because there were probably people who wouldn't have cared and who I could have been friends with if I'd made an effort.

[bolo]

Problem with avoidance (my personal thoughts) is that once you start going down that route, the more frequently you'll be looking at ways to avoid 'potential' situations.. Eventually you'll end up sat in a room not wanting to leave just so to avoid any potential embarassing situations.

[JDRow]

Problem with avoidance (my personal thoughts) is that once you start going down that route, the more frequently you'll be looking at ways to avoid 'potential' situations.. Eventually you'll end up sat in a room not wanting to leave just so to avoid any potential embarassing situations.

I agree, but I think it depends on where somebody is starting from. If you aren't avoiding things, then it's not going to be good to start. But if you're already avoiding a lot of things, I think it's okay to deal with those things one at a time, rather than suddenly deciding you can't ever avoid again.

For me, that would be so overwhelming that I'd probably end up in the situation you mention, not wanting to leave my room. I was avoiding a ton of situations before I started speech therapy last year--basically, if there was any way I could avoid a speaking situation, I would--and if I felt like I had to start going into every one of them at once, I would have quit immediately. There are still things I'm not at all comfortable doing, especially talking on the phone to people I don't know and giving presentations, but I feel like, as long as I'm taking steps towards stopping avoiding, it's okay if there are situations I don't ready for and am still working up to.

[nuno1976]

I agree that it's better not to avoid things, but if having to do a big presentation is really stressing you out, I'd talk to somebody at the school about it. I would have dropped out of school before I would have given a big presentation. Maybe I'm just making excuses for myself, but I think that if you really don't feel like you're ready for something, and it's just going to cause you months of stress, it's okay to find an alternative assignment or something. As long as you are taking steps to avoid less, I think it's okay to give yourself a break on certain things.


I didn't mean that one should stop avoiding in all circumstances in one shot, I'm 32 and I still avoid lots of things. But I think it is important to have that in mind, as a long-term goal. Otherwise, you'll find that as time passes by you have to avoid more and more situations.

I completely agree with you that, in some circumstances, you just have to avoid because you're not yet prepared or mature enough, and in those situations the result of not avoiding can be even worse!

As long as, from time to time, you challenge yourself and avoid "avoiding", you're good! :)

[nuno1976]

Ok, I wrote my post before reading yours! :)

[Mcnutters]

Thanks guys i know i almost dropped out, they asked yes or no i said yes but then suddenly i said no and i stayed in school and i said forget it im just going to get through it my teacher understands and i read today i honeslty didn't care i didnt do that bad thanks so much for everything, when i know its my turn up i start shakeing and geting so scared knowing whats going to happen so a lot of it was in my mind but i cant do anything about it its not my fault so what ever, im in 11th grade and presentation is in 12th and im so scared but once i get it done ill be happy and i know it was all worth it.. i sometimes used to fake sick because i knew we were reading i mean it was horrible i'd take a long time writing in my journel so we wouldnt get to the story but she said she understands and she will lightin up so i guess its not all bad i just have to do it. when i know im going to stutter i say "andd could he " but it really just says "could he" its easyer sometimes to say and for some reason its terrible i can't deal witjh this some times..

[fifi]

Hi. Im new

This is about reading in class in front of people.... I'm always so nervous to and i always get little blocks on C's and D's stuff like that and i start shakeing so my mom called the school and the teacher to tell her all this stuff and im 17.. i felt SO embarrssed my teacher said she really didnt know that much but i knew i did she said she would lightin up on me reading but i felt so sad and pathetic. The bad thing about reading in front of class when your going good and your all happy then you see a word that you KNOW you will mess up on sometimes i just go woops lost my place and i just cant deal with this anymore im getting Xanaxs to calm me down. Anyone know what im talkin about, or when people ask your name and of course mine is Danny..I can sometimes say it and sometimes i try and my eyes close and get real tensed anyone have this problem??? just school is hard to deal with when you stutter.

I know how you feel it happens to me all the time and it does get old. I have trouble saying my name as well.