Stuttering makes me feel like dropping a bomb on the whole world

[happy7117]

Here is a situation that jabs at me also--
My mom was on her way home from
school for the day (shes a school teacher), and
the ground was icy.. she slipped and fell
down an open manhole( why it was open i have no clue)..

Anyway, she broke her leg as a result, and thus
was in a big cast for a month or so....

Now as bad as I felt for her,[U] [U][U]I KNEW she would get better in a few months with some phys therapy, and return to work....but me on the
other hand- IT DID NOT MAKE ME FEEL ANY BETTER
ABOUT HOW I HAVE TO LIVE WITH A STUTTER....

MEANING-- she can definately get well again

A LEG CAN HEAL
STUTTERING CANNOT....

SHE COULD NOT MOVE HER LEG..
I CANNOT SPEAK RIGHT...

WORSE THAN THAT, MY FATHER ASKED
ME IF I WOULD RATHER LIVE USING A CRUTCH MY
WHOLE LIFE, THAN TO STUTTER....

I HAD TO SECRETLY LIE TO HIM AND SAY
"LIVE WITH A STUTTER THAN WITH USING CRUTCHES"...

I NEVER TOLD HIM THE REAL TRUTH... I WOULD
RATHER LIVE WITH CRUTCHES THAN
STUTTERING....

AND I NEVER TOLD HIM THE TRUTH TO THIS DAY,

PLUS, IT'S BEEN 2 YEARS SINCE THE ACCIDENT
MY MOTHER HAD....

SHE IS BACK TO WORK IN FULL SWING, AND
HER LEG IS NOT ONLY HEALED COMPLETELY,
SHE WALKED WITH A LIGHT LIMP, AND
A CANE.....HAPPY FOR HER, BUT SHE DOES
NOT UNDERSTAND THAT STUTTERING IS NOT LIKE A BROKEN LEG....

MY POINT IS--- I WOULD RATHER
HAVE A BROKEN LEG THAN TO STUTTER--

PHYSICAL AND MENTAL PAIN THAT STUTTERERS FACE IS SO MUCH HORRIBLE THAN A BROKEN LEG....

NOW THAT SHE'S COMPLETELY HEAELD UP---
SHE WAS BOUND TO GET BACK AGAIN TO WORK...

BUT IM STILL AT THE SAME PLACE WHEN I STARTED
STUTTERING 15 YEARS AGO....IT HAS NOT GOTTEN
BETTER-

i WISH FOR ONE WEEK A REGULAR EVERYDAY FLUENT PERSON COULD BE TRAPPED IN A STUTTERERS
PLACE.. I MEAN BE STARED AT MOCKED, AND FEEL HELPLESS, AND THEY WOULD KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE US...PERFECTLY NICE AND FRIENDLY, BUT
SCREWED UP SPEECH---

IT'S A BAD THOUGHT, BUT NON-STUTTERERS JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS NASTINESS WE GO THROUGH-- AND THEY NEVER WILL---

my patience is gone--

a device is the only way- but the price makes
me infuriated---

we stutteres could have the world by the
fingertips, but thanks to this affliction we
have to live in hopeless anger with those device
sellers sitting smugly back...

And to those who don't hire stutterers(im sorry, im
on an anger role!), you are cold heartless indivduals-
and your missing out on excelent potentialed
employees-oh yeah did i mention superficial

[Iced Tea]

Stuttering isn't fun.

I can understand your anger. I'm going through a rough patch myself right now.

It ticks me off that I can't make a good first impression with many people because I get nervous and stutter. Not to be egotistical but I'm a really nice guy that people would like if I was given a chance.

I thought that after getting through school and becoming an adult, I wouldn't face the laughter and being made fun of. I was wrong. To this day, I still have adults thinking it's funny when I stutter. Frankly, I would like to take a punch at them but I'd end up in jail. It's part of the reason I'm in therapy.

As for being on crutches for the rest of your life instead of stuttering, I'd rather stutter. I've been on crutches after several knee and ankle operations, it isn't any fun. I wouldn't wish a physical handicap on anyone but I figure in a way, you are trying to say that at least people would see your handicap and make the necessary adjustments rather than wait for you to open your mouth.

I could now go off on a rant about how stutterers don't get the same respect as someone facing a physical handicap but that's an issue I feel strongly about; this thread is about you.

So what I will say is even though this might sound cruel and I don't mean it in anyway disrespectful to those faced with physical handicaps; at least a stutter doesn't hold you back from physical activities that people on crutches face everyday.

EDIT: I have a long list of people I would like to try to survive for one week as a stutterer. They'd break down and cry after the first day.

[happy7117]

Frankly, I would like to take a punch at them but I'd end up in jail. It's part of the reason I'm in therapy.

at least people would see your handicap and make the necessary adjustments rather than wait for you to open your mouth.

Exactly- people can accomodate a physical handicap, but they
cannot accomodate a stutter...

As far as taking a punch at someone, this nice man
who works at Froggers pizza I saw him at the bank, and started to stutter, and then when i was cashing my check- he was in the
window next to me--

I guess he thought I wasn't paying attention, but I
glanced over and saw him making fun of me, and he was
doing it in a way i could easily notice,

Because he was sort of making facial contortions...like I was...

I sort of laughed along with him---

But of course when I walked out of the bank--

I wished I could of knocked him out--

And I would of called it self defense and standing up for
myself-- and if a cop wants to BS about it... ill tell him
or stutter or explain to him I was getting verbally abused for a
speech problem......

As for therapy- I tried it- it did absolutley nothing,
in fact I had some suggestions to them to help make my speech better- and they just blew me off and ignored them....

My stutter thing--- I dont know how bad a stutter can be
but mine is-

I truly cannot live with it..I mean that sincerely

Gone through counseling, tried church, therapy--
nothing.

[Iced Tea]

You need to find a better speech therapist and maybe go see a shrink. Both have helped me a lot.