Kip

[ElectricVersion]

Hi there. My name is Kip. I'm 32 yrs. old today, and have been "stuttering" as long as I can remember.

My "stutter" these days has become more of a total block (when I'm stuttering). I think I developed this as I could not bear to hear myself f-f-fumbling over w-w-words, it just made me feel horrible, so somehow in my head, i was happier blocking until i could force the word out then hearing myself making embarressing noises and unintelligable sounds.

when blocking, yes, breathing ceases, so it's no wonder that I am blocking. catch 22 of sorts.

my speech impediment has held me back in every aspect of my life. many missed opportunites, even more regrets.

i tend to overthink, overanalyze, and that doesn't help. those of us that think ahead too far and even play out speaking situations in the near future know what i am talking about. torturing yourself way before the event actually occurs. then you get to that event and of course it's a speaking nightmare, you've been practicing in your head for days, or weeks.

anyway, i'm glad to have found this forum, and hopefully in seeing how many other people there are out there like me, it will offer encouragement and insight into a way out of this. a chance to start life anew. cause if and when i get this speech problem whipped, life really will be brand new. cheers.

- kip

[Gary1450]

Welcome. I certainly understand when you talk about all the missed opportunities.

I'm also planning ahead - dreading the next speaking situation.

I used to be a moderate stutterer but it has gotten worse in the past couple months.

[ElectricVersion]

I suppose i don't plan ahead as much as i used to when i was younger. seems i've gotten a firmer grasp on some aspects of the problem, and lost control even worse with some other aspects.

i struggle with telephone calls greatly, and my wife is wonderful enough to help me by taking some of the burder off of me. but of course by doing that, it isn't helping me to get over it so i can do it myself, but it does take a lot of crazy load off of me, and gives me a better quality of life i guess i would say.

after reading thru some of the postings on here, i see that many of us on here have thought the same things i do....

that mainly, speech oriented handicaps are not dealt with or recognized like other handicaps. if you cannot walk, you enter a room in a wheelchair, people automatically know what's up, they envision your hardship, and they know what they need to do to help you if anything. if you walk into a room with a speech impediment. there is no warning, and sometimes explaining that "you really are OK", you're not dying, you're not choking!, you're not slow, well... you know that explaining it isn't that easy. and before you're finished getting it out, chances are they've thought about all these options watching you struggle your a$$ off to say something really simple. now, what gets me, is it RARELY, if EVER occurs to someone, in person, or on the telephone, that MAYBE, just MAYBE the person on the other end has a speech impediment!
it seems plain as day to us. but, i can't count the times i've heard "sir, are you OK??" and it just makes it worse trying to get out the phrase "i have a speech impediment".

i feel school's should be educating children about speech based handicaps like they do about any other handicap. there's just an amazing lack of knowledge and understanding about it. if less people got freaked out about it, and actually understood it, and stopped joking about it so casually (but that's another battle) then i don't think we'd have as much trouble in the first place. lose the stigma attached to it and i bet there would be less people stuttering and and those who did would deal with much more mild cases.

anyway, i've had over 20 years to build this all up. now i've got a place to vent. perhaps some of us can collectively make a difference to help children early on so they don't grow into stuttering adults.

and for heaven's sake stop telling our children "it will probably not be a problem when you get older, it will go away" that's what they told me. *sigh* :)

[Gary1450]

I agree. Sometimes I would rather be in a wheelchair than stutter.

My wife is also very supportive - best speech therapist there is.

It's just the damn phone! I'm not too bad talking to people face to face.