So...there is a girl at my bank that...

[Jimmy169]

I really like...

I also saw her at my barber's the other day, I didn't even know it was her, I knew she looked familiar and she looked my way and towards the end she looked at me through the mirrior, I'd look at her for a second and shy away, pop my eye's back to see if she was still looking and she was. Shy'd my eye's away again, lol.

Today at the bank I realized it was her (damn now I'm really falling for her :o ). She was working at the computer that works with the cars, but something went wrong as I was going up, something wiht the computer, she tried to switch with the lady taking care of me, she is kinda new there, I was deposting business checks and my personal one, the lady took my business checks and she (the girl that I liked) took my personal check. Felt like she went out of her way to help me out, and smiled and everything, probably recognizing me from the barber too. She was really sweet, didn't say much and just said have a nice weekend with a smile kinda giving you the feeling she was awaiting to see you next week (I'm at the bank a lot cause of my job, every work day really I usually have to make a deposit, so I get the chance to see her a lot).

In any case, sorry for rambling, just kinda trying to get you in my shoes and see what I saw. I am really nervous, but I like her a lot. I'm really not good at starting conversation because I am a stutterer, you know how you always get that sinking feeling in your neck, aspecially when I like someone and am falling for someone like I am with her. I thought it couldn't hurt to ask for advice here, I hear confidence is key but the way I'm falling for her give's me that sinking feeling when I approach her, like in my neck where I feel like what ever I might say I'll stutter or mess up (actually I'd prob. block and not get a word out when I want too, or stumble severly idk, maybe not, but I am a little nervous), so my confidence level idk if it's at the level where I should even say anything to her, and at the same time I don't wanna be arrogant and wait until I am confident and give the impression that I'm an arrogant stuck up insert what ever fits.

So huh...yeah...it's the weekend, I won't see her until monday, any advice is appreciated. Also I'm 23 years old if that helps, and she seems around the same age. I can't really tell if she's younger or older, safe to say around the same age.

[nate]

http://video.google.com/videosearch?q=afghan+wedding&emb=0#

try this Jimmy:D

[Jimmy169]

http://video.google.com/videosearch?q=afghan+wedding&emb=0#

try this Jimmy:D

Accessories huh....hhhmmm....

[nate]

Yeh, dont forget the cologne, "a large pot filled to the handles" LOL.
This guy is too stupid, unfortunately there are still people who do that. :p

Jimmy be yoself. I am sure she feels yo vibe. Next time, smile back and stutter how beautiful her hands are (dont say eyes, thats common) or comment on her hair and then stutter how much you'd like to take her out for a coffee/drink/vegetarian shithole.

While at said Coffee/drink/vegetarian shithole place keep it real, dont mention or anything that can be construed as pertaining to aforementioned activity, coz it will. Be polite, dont use as a verb, or a noun, or adjective. Dont over talk, listen, dont be judjmental at all even if she practices wicca and tries to put a hex on you, or is a raw foodie (those guys scare me). Just be as open and liberal minded. Dont support it unless u truly do...IT MIGHT BE A TEST.:eek:

Dont talk about politics or religion or homouality or mentally challenged people, or immigration. Dont tell her how many kids you want or dont want. Ask her what she does, how she likes her job, what type of family she comes from, ask about her and get to know her. But dont ask where she lives!!!
Above all be real and do NOT try to get a kiss, or cop a feel. I know u r 23 and the hormones are raging but Please, DONT DO IT!

Besides if u really like her, you'll know what to do. And do not tell her how miserable your life is, chicks do not like misery! They hate moody men, And they prefer being the drama queens in the relationship. Sometimes they like projects butthat never lasts. u want a good relationship, it has to be equal, not based on on "Awwwww!"

Ok thats enough, look at me! Giving advice like i know it all.

Dont worry about stuttering, coz u probably will. Worry about what you will say to keep her interested in you. You'll be fine!:D

Good luck
Post back.

[Jimmy169]

Thanks a lot for the advice. Honestly, I don't even know what to say to her at the bank, I'm not usually the one to start a convo with a girl, I wait and hope they do the work, pretty pathetic and hasn't gotten me anywhere now that I think of it....

If she's still there next week, I'll let you know what happens if anything. College starts up again for me nextweek and prob. her too, but hopefully we'll see each other, I'm not even sure she goes to college just assuming by the way she looks age wise.

[happy7117]

Holy cow. I got the same situation as you Jim! I go to the bank 2wice a week and this girl named Justina who is one of the tellers there- I have so much fun flirting with her.

I am tempted to ask her out for coffee or whatever. In other words, I want to get to know her more.

My advice for you, get to know her more. Take her for coffee. Don't stalk her, but then again don't shy away from her!!!

Sounds like this is turning into a dating forum than a stuttering forum!

[Derek181]

dude i have been in the same situation as you with girls. iam usually too afraid iam gonna stutter my head off and not be able to get a word out or am worried is she not gonna like me cuz i stutter. but iam realizing that what do u have to loose why not go talk to her and not care about stuttering maybe even stutter on purpose. like you have one life and you arnt going to get anywhere sitting on your ass and nnot taking chances, girls dont come to guys.... guys go to girls hahahha. the way i see it is either i go out there and start getting to know some girls or else be single for my whole life. id say for the first few times try and strike up a conversation at the till dont ask her out right away..... they will most likely say no... get to know her a little bit and then say eh by the way wanna go out for a coffee or something.....

[Jimmy169]

Aw damnit! You ever leave and think damnit why did I leave like that!! Argh...she gave me every oppurtunity to talk with her, but i felt paralyzed, lol. Now I remember why stuttering sucks so much, you get straight up paralyzed where you cannot say anything you think of. I was able to tell her she had nice hair though, lol, without stuttering or getting that stuck, but man she looked at me the whole time i was in line with a smile, she made sure to finish up fast and grabbed me to do the deposit, she asked if i wanted a slip when she knows i never take one, she just wanted to keep me there i think. Aw man I felt like I wasted the oppurtunity, you know how after u say something nice your nervous if she was expecting more, if she see's how shy i am, and that doesn't help, i know confidence is key but i feel so paralyzed when i go up to her. I get so confident on the way there, i mean i had a great day in school, but right when i'm there and thinking what to say that's when i just get paralyzed and you feel there's no way you'll get anything you plan to say out, it's like your bombarded with that dopamine or w/e and you feel your vocal cords tighten up and not letting go...sux...lol.

[Jimmy169]

Thanks a lot man! That make's sense, I appreciate it.

[nate]

my moneys on ye too, mate
Cheers an' get on wi' it wouldja?

[ak47oooo]

What's happened to me many times (too many times :( ) is that a girl will seem interested in me, and when I open my mouth and she hears my stuttering, she immediately gets turned off and ends the conversation. Even before I read peoples' responses on this thread, I knew people would say "be yourself". I Expected more understanding on a stuttering forum. "Being yourself" isn't exactly realistic toward winning someone over. Sure, you cant pretend to be someone you're not, yadda yadda, but come on people....

My advice is this: remind yourself that if you stutter while talking to her or anyone else, it's not your problem if she rejects you because of the way you speak, it'll be HER problem because she cant accept you for being the way you are.

Also: Stop yourself from getting obsessed over one person. There are lots of girls just like her, you just arent paying attention. If that girl at the bank shoots you down and if you had your heart set on her, you'll feel awful. You want to increase your odds for success by trying to get with LOTS of girls. Because they cant ALL say no. Really, they cant.

And third: if she turns you down, it's HER loss. Because you are such a great guy, you are doing HER a favor by giving HER a chance.

[nate]

What's happened to me many times (too many times :( ) is that a girl will seem interested in me, and when I open my mouth and she hears my stuttering, she immediately gets turned off and ends the conversation.

Thats too bad man. I feel for u, me, never had that problem, Never. ;)

Even before I read peoples' responses on this thread, I knew people would say "be yourself". I Expected more understanding on a stuttering forum. "Being yourself" isn't exactly realistic toward winning someone over. Sure, you cant pretend to be someone you're not, yadda yadda, but come on people....

i have trouble understanding this paragraph. People will say be yoself- but dont coz it isnt going to get u anywhere, but dont pretend to be some else yadda yadda but thats not going to work either??? I confused:confused:

My advice is this: remind yourself that if you stutter while talking to her or anyone else, it's not your problem if she rejects you because of the way you speak, it'll be HER problem because she cant accept you for being the way you are.
YES! Very True.

Also: Stop yourself from getting obsessed over one person. There are lots of girls just like her, you just arent paying attention. If that girl at the bank shoots you down and if you had your heart set on her, you'll feel awful. You want to increase your odds for success by trying to get with LOTS of girls. Because they cant ALL say no. Really, they cant.

First of all, love happens once, if u see a girl and you really like her thers a good chance there are violins and harps playing in heaven(mataphorically of course.)
If she shoots u down get up and try again...unless there a firearm involved.
And YES they can all say NO. e,g. if u'r opening line is "Can I borrow a quarter? I promised my mom I would call her when I met the girl of my dreams".
Or "You know what would look really good on you? No, what? Me."
Or "Your legs must be tired because you’ve been running through my mind all night". Actually this is so funny u might get lucky.:D Any way if u open yo mouth and kak comes out, shes not going to say “wow, that’s disgusting, but here’s my number anyway, ’cause you’re stupid but cute”. uh Uh not happening.


And third: if she turns you down, it's HER loss. Because you are such a great guy, you are doing HER a favor by giving HER a chance.

No Man! No you're not, Nobody is doing anyone any favors coz u r not better than her. Mira... U like her, U want her to like u. Its like a JOB INTERVIEW MAN. U r there to state your case and present yoself in the best way possible... (confidence blah blah) Then its her prerogative to feel yo vibe and do U the favor. There just as many men out there and if she's as hot, she'll be snapped up QUICKS, u better get crackin' trust me, I speak from experience, as a winner and a looser.

[DKoz]

At my bank they always employ attractive women, which is a good thing :)

To talk to her, like you said, just be confident because women can see if your confident or not. Be confident, but not a arrogant douche bag.

[Jimmy169]

Man, this is good stuff guy's! The viewpoints here are very interesting. Someone else grabbed me at the bank today, was right next to her though. You know honestly idk if I can be the one to start the conversation, everytime I even think of it at that bank I get that paralyzed feeling in my neck, I can't get a word out that I would want to. I tell myself no pressure but I guess you can't fool your mind. Right now school is in full swing with work full time so I have a lot of other things on my mind too and don't want to get too preoccupied with this. But I guess we'll see what happens if anything, I hate setting myself up for a letdown and I feel like I just did it for this whole board to see. Crap...lol...

But these viewpoints are really interesting, so I'm kinda glad I brought it up, it's always interesting to get another stutterer's take on women and how to approach em when you've never met, with the stuttering issue.

[ak47oooo]

I hate setting myself up for a letdown and I feel like I just did it for this whole board to see. Crap...lol...

Don't worry about us, you dont have any responsibility to tell us about any decision you make.

i have trouble understanding this paragraph. People will say be yoself- but dont coz it isnt going to get u anywhere, but dont pretend to be some else yadda yadda but thats not going to work either??? I confused

I hope I didnt offend anyone by this comment. I meant that "be yourself" implies to not have a strategy, or to pretend one is without flaw.

love happens once, if u see a girl and you really like her thers a good chance there are violins and harps playing in heaven(metaphorically of course.)

I disagree. Love is a process, it's not immediate. A pretty girl or a funny girl or whoever will pull us in and make us notice her, maybe even make us obsessive, but that's not the same thing as love. Love is more like what happens once you get to know her real well. I'm talking about before that. Once a girl says yes to you, then the looooove can start ;)

about all girls not being able to say no, I didn't mean that literally. Although some are bound to be pretty dumb.

And about your last paragraph in that post... sure, it's sort of like a job interview, that I agree on. But with a job interview, you're beneath the interviewer, you have to yield to him and kiss his butt 'cause he's got you by the balls. When you're trying to pick someone up, letting it be clear to her that you're depending on her saying yes, that she has to say yes cause you love her and will do anything to have her is letting her know she's in power, and we know where that leads to. I know it kind of sounded like I was saying the man is better than the woman. What I meant was is that it's a two-way street, and if she turns you down, she'll never have the chance to see what a great guy you are.

In other words, AK47oooo just said: "BE YOURSELF!"

lol... I was afraid someone was gonna point that out :p

[nate]

Love is a process, it's not immediate.

True. Very true. I tend to confuse love with making love. The latters a much shorter process.:D

[Derek181]

i dont think that kissing ass and treating a girl like shes the best thing on earth is really a good thing to get a date.... from my experience girls like a confident guy who treats them as an equal . like i dont think girls like it when guys go overboard and do all these crazy things , i think they tend to get more creeped out. just normal converstion and make them laugh is all you really need .... none of this treating her like a princess crap hahah

[ak47oooo]

none of this treating her like a princess crap hahah
I think you hit the nail on the head there Derek. Like if you google "y funny", its a pretty universal belief that being slightly an egotistical jerk, but always talking in a half-joking way so she can never tell if you're really arrogant or just kidding around seems to work somehow. Not that I'm an expert on girls or anything.... I wish a girl would post on this thread and fill us in already

[Derek181]

iam not talking about being egotistical but i just dont think girls like having guys treating them like they are the greatest thing on earth..... just some decent conversation with confidence and being funny... like you dont want to try to hard... trying too hard gets you no where ... they might think your desperate or something or tooo nicee if you treat them like princesses. but yah stuttering is so difficult .... so many girls see it as "oh he has no confidence because hes stuttering" or he must be nervous.... i was in line at my school buying books and this gorgeous blonde in front of me kept eyeing me out turning around and giving some flaunting look and she would keep doing that until she turned around and is like heyyy could u do me a favour so iam like sure no prob.... i save her place in line while she goes and exchanges some book and then she comes back and starts talking and flirting wtih me so iam chatting back and iam stuttering a bit here and there and her impression went from flirty and her smile kinda died into not talking wtih me anymore!!!!! its just too damn difficult having a stutter

[Mullen]

... i was in line at my school buying books and this gorgeous blonde in front of me kept eyeing me out turning around and giving some flaunting look and she would keep doing that until she turned around and is like heyyy could u do me a favour so iam like sure no prob.... i save her place in line while she goes and exchanges some book and then she comes back and starts talking and flirting wtih me so iam chatting back and iam stuttering a bit here and there and her impression went from flirty and her smile kinda died into not talking wtih me anymore!!!!! its just too damn difficult having a stutter

What baffles me is that on the dating forums and Yahoo's answers.com women are nearly always posting that they'd be more than willing to date a stutterer, that it's what's in the man's heart that really counts. Do women like to think they'd be willing to date a stutterer, and just the thought makes them feel good about themselves? But in the nitty-gritty act of talking with a stutterer they are repulsed by the sheer social abnormality of the situation? As I said: "I'm baffled."

[ak47oooo]

But in the nitty-gritty act of talking with a stutterer they are repulsed by the sheer social abnormality of the situation? As I said: "I'm baffled."

I guess their brain says one thing and their instincts say another. And they go with their instincts.

And Derek, that's what I was talking about earlier in this thread, that's exactly what I meant. Even the smile turning into a frown, it's frustrating dude. But you already know that ;)

[nate]

The best three minutes of your life, eh? :eek:

Mira...u dont know my life!
I'm cousins with the energizer bunny...i go on and on and on and on...

Dr G, how u like my espanyol. I have a patron who speaks spanglish, i'm learning.

[nate]

Con un poco mas de practica podrias dominar el Español ;)

With a little practice i will dominate espanyol:D

Oh yeah...bring it on...
No please dont. I asked my friend to translate.

I only know the common words that i hear all the time, mira!, pinchi, hotos, como dice, jo no hablo inglese...i tol u already!, ke kiere, cabron, fukgin sheet, sientate, levantate...vaminos, rapido, culo, and others that I dont dare write on here coz those I actually know what they mean, these I am still ambigous about.
But hey... thats the only way to learn a language right?

[nikita]

POT, once again I agree totally with you. I couldn’t have said it better if I tried:D

So I'm just here because someone and I quote "wished a girl would post on this thread and fill us in already" And a certain Someone emailed me.

The best way to illustrate the rest of my story is to use a metaphor that Nate told me once. He said that men have G-spots too, they just don’t vary, or move, or hide.
What works on one girl doesn’t work on all other girls.
Yes there are girls who like to be treated like crap. Those girls have issues with their self image and were probably abused as children and don’t know how to love or respect themselves. So they don’t get stunned when you treat them like shit, they expect it.

Then there are princess girls...they are just spoilt brats who need constant reassurance that you love them and need them. They come in all varieties, clingy, bossy, dramatic, controlling, jealous, helpless etc

Then there are the normal girls, who can at times be a little of both extremes but for the most part are just normal. They play fight with you, don’t hesitate to pick up a beer and watch a game, or put on a pair of high heels and paint the town red. They have their own life and acknowledge that you have your life too. You don’t have to be joined at the hip. They buy just as many if not more gifts for you as you do for them. They call you once a day at work for 2 minutes, to make sure you’re ok; not to check where you are. They want to be independent, yet want you by their side, not as a YORKIE, but as a Man. They want to have your children, not to trap you, but to always have a part of you, as a part of them.

That’s all real woman wants. Women are very intuitive, we know your heart, and if you conceal it then that’s your own fault. Be real, it goes a long way. If you’re sensitive be sensitive, if you’re the strong silent type be that, if you are a shy guy...guess what...be shy. There’s something in each of of you that will appeal to us.

One other thing, most times men are attracted to the physical, and then you call us shallow for being repulsed by the physical. STOP being hypocrites! What makes you expect a gorgeous blonde girl with excellent social skills to settle for you instead of a gorgeous blond guy with excellent social skills?

Try to look past the physical. Here’s a secret: women are the same way. But here’s the difference, “we don’t want to marry the pretty boys…we just want to use them. We want to marry the good guys”…that why they are all taken.

I’m with a PWS...don’t think it didn’t cross my mind when I first took him home that my family and friends would wonder what was wrong with me…it did…but because he was the sweetest thing since peanut butter, it didn’t matter. They love him, everyone does. Not because he stutters, but because he’s a wonderful person…genuinely, Coz we can see right through you guys. Make no mistake.

I have friend, very independent, very beautiful and stylish, well established, a social bunny (5’1”), who I introduced to guy who stutters badly, it’s the worst I’ve ever seen. He has no time for style, or anything esle for that matter. He’s not brilliant; he doesn’t have a 6 figure salary. He’s average looking, and humongous (6’10), and painfully shy. The logistics of them having would be akin to those of a Chihuahua and a great Dane (another nateism)
She fell in love with him on the first date. Why? Because and I quote “he has the most beautiful heart in the universe. He’s kind, loving, patient, truthful, down to earth. and he's an A+ in bed too...” This guy can’t even drive…but he has one of the most high maintenance girls calling his name!

So please don’t say girls who refuse you are shallow, they just don’t have the time to wait to meet the real you while you bullshit them. Or maybe you’re just a jerk for real.:mad:

[Jimmy169]

POT, once again I agree totally with you. I couldn’t have said it better if I tried:D

So I'm just here because someone and I quote "wished a girl would post on this thread and fill us in already" And a certain Someone emailed me.

The best way to illustrate the rest of my story is to use a metaphor that Nate told me once. He said that men have G-spots too, they just don’t vary, or move, or hide.
What works on one girl doesn’t work on all other girls.
Yes there are girls who like to be treated like crap. Those girls have issues with their self image and were probably abused as children and don’t know how to love or respect themselves. So they don’t get stunned when you treat them like shit, they expect it.

Then there are princess girls...they are just spoilt brats who need constant reassurance that you love them and need them. They come in all varieties, clingy, bossy, dramatic, controlling, jealous, helpless etc

Then there are the normal girls, who can at times be a little of both extremes but for the most part are just normal. They play fight with you, don’t hesitate to pick up a beer and watch a game, or put on a pair of high heels and paint the town red. They have their own life and acknowledge that you have your life too. You don’t have to be joined at the hip. They buy just as many if not more gifts for you as you do for them. They call you once a day at work for 2 minutes, to make sure you’re ok; not to check where you are. They want to be independent, yet want you by their side, not as a YORKIE, but as a Man. They want to have your children, not to trap you, but to always have a part of you, as a part of them.

That’s all real woman wants. Women are very intuitive, we know your heart, and if you conceal it then that’s your own fault. Be real, it goes a long way. If you’re sensitive be sensitive, if you’re the strong silent type be that, if you are a shy guy...guess what...be shy. There’s something in each of of you that will appeal to us.

One other thing, most times men are attracted to the physical, and then you call us shallow for being repulsed by the physical. STOP being hypocrites! What makes you expect a gorgeous blonde girl with excellent social skills to settle for you instead of a gorgeous blond guy with excellent social skills?

Try to look past the physical. Here’s a secret: women are the same way. But here’s the difference, “we don’t want to marry the pretty boys…we just want to use them. We want to marry the good guys”…that why they are all taken.

I’m with a PWS...don’t think it didn’t cross my mind when I first took him home that my family and friends would wonder what was wrong with me…it did…but because he was the sweetest thing since peanut butter, it didn’t matter. They love him, everyone does. Not because he stutters, but because he’s a wonderful person…genuinely, Coz we can see right through you guys. Make no mistake.

I have friend, very independent, very beautiful and stylish, well established, a social bunny (5’1”), who I introduced to guy who stutters badly, it’s the worst I’ve ever seen. He has no time for style, or anything esle for that matter. He’s not brilliant; he doesn’t have a 6 figure salary. He’s average looking, and humongous (6’10), and painfully shy. The logistics of them having would be akin to those of a Chihuahua and a great Dane (another nateism)
She fell in love with him on the first date. Why? Because and I quote “he has the most beautiful heart in the universe. He’s kind, loving, patient, truthful, down to earth. and he's an A+ in bed too...” This guy can’t even drive…but he has one of the most high maintenance girls calling his name!

So please don’t say girls who refuse you are shallow, they just don’t have the time to wait to meet the real you while you bullshit them. Or maybe you’re just a jerk for real.:mad:

Nikita thanks a lot for getting my head in the right gear! No more worrying about girls hearing me stutter, cause that's just me, and I'm shy as heck, nice to know I don't have to hide that!

[catfishingdude]

If a relationship starts as friends, then there is the dreaded "Friend Zone" which I fall into ALL the time.

[Mullen]

...I’m with a PWS...don’t think it didn’t cross my mind when I first took him home that my family and friends would wonder what was wrong with me…it did…

I think you've confessed an interesting point. I don't believe girls are necessarily "shallow" and contemptible in anyway for not wanting to date a stutterer because of his stutter. Often times it is their own social insecurity, their fear of being judged by their friends and family, that stands in their way of getting to know a stutterer.

As for Nate, you met him through his cousin: in a sense he was vetted for you. Here in the U.S. most people associate stuttering as being brought on to some degree by psychological problems, be it excessive nerves or worse. Wikibooks.org even has a section of its article on stuttering devoted to mass murderers and serial killers. (Out of the thousands of murders and killers throughout history it only manages to find four who stuttered, but that doesn't seem to matter to them.) So I can hardly blame a girl for being a little leery when it comes to accepting a date with a stutterer. And of course the more solitary you are, the more suspect you become -- call a man a dog and hang him.

[ak47oooo]

Power of Three, agree with pretty much all of that, good points.

nikita, thanks for your input, that clears a lot up for me.

catfishingdude, I know what you mean

[nikita]

Mullen I sense in you a contrary character:D

He wasnt "vetted". that girl introduced me to thousands of boys, I didnt have babies with any of them. And his stutter honestly was the least of my concerns. He was younger(-4 years), less mature and financially stable, from a different tribe, a stranger to my family...and just not my type. But he treated me like I was special. And that's all a woman wants. :)

Also he made it extra clear what he wanted...hence avoiding the friend trap. If you think a girl is a hottie, let her know. Its a vibe...Dont be shoulder to cry on...aka the rebound guy. Dont go shoe shopping...aka the friend. Dont ever act innocent, be a lion ready to pounce at the first opening, give her a chance to fight you off until she cant resist anymore...dont let her take her time to figure out her emotions...thats the friend trap. If you want something, go get it.
Damn...I should write a column!

If you act shifty...people are going to think that you are. Own yourself. Somebody said be yourself, if yourself isnt confident, dont try to be confident...some girls like shy guys (there was even a song called shy guy)!

People say its hard to meet in the US. I was there for a year as an exchange student. I met great new people every day...theres 300,000,000 to choose from! And those are only the ones there legally!

One more thing...most men and boys get turned down on average 50% of the time, even the "perfect" ones. Stutterers just attribute it to the stutter... heres another secret...boys are turned on by one thing...breasts, derriere's, smell. Girls are turned on by a package..hence the "my type" phenomenon: "tall, dark and handsome" or "strong, silent, intelligent" etc and as such can get turned off by only one thing...coz it ruins the package. eg your shoes, or teeth, or hands...or if you are jerk. It might have nothing to do with the stutter.

Go out there and find a girl...theres so many of us waiting for decent guy like you:D

[Jimmy169]

Mullen I sense in you a contrary character:D

He wasnt "vetted". that girl introduced me to thousands of boys, I didnt have babies with any of them. And his stutter honestly was the least of my concerns. He was younger(-4 years), less mature and financially stable, from a different tribe, a stranger to my family...and just not my type. But he treated me like I was special. And that's all a woman wants. :)

Also he made it extra clear what he wanted...hence avoiding the friend trap. If you think a girl is a hottie, let her know. Its a vibe...Dont be shoulder to cry on...aka the rebound guy. Dont go shoe shopping...aka the friend. Dont ever act innocent, be a lion ready to pounce at the first opening, give her a chance to fight you off until she cant resist anymore...dont let her take her time to figure out her emotions...thats the friend trap. If you want something, go get it.
Damn...I should write a column!

If you act shifty...people are going to think that you are. Own yourself. Somebody said be yourself, if yourself isnt confident, dont try to be confident...some girls like shy guys (there was even a song called shy guy)!

People say its hard to meet in the US. I was there for a year as an exchange student. I met great new people every day...theres 300,000,000 to choose from! And those are only the ones there legally!

One more thing...most men and boys get turned down on average 50% of the time, even the "perfect" ones. Stutterers just attribute it to the stutter... heres another secret...boys are turned on by one thing...breasts, derriere's, smell. Girls are turned on by a package..hence the "my type" phenomenon: "tall, dark and handsome" or "strong, silent, intelligent" etc and as such can get turned off by only one thing...coz it ruins the package. eg your shoes, or teeth, or hands...or if you are jerk. It might have nothing to do with the stutter.

Go out there and find a girl...theres so many of us waiting for decent guy like you:D


Your posts are great! You really should write a column, lol. Thanks again, I'll be looking forward to your posts everytime I see you reply, this is good stuff!

[Derek181]

you cant say that go after someone for just their personality and looks dont matter. of course looks matter, how could it ever worked if your not attracted to them physically. its the same wtih girls too, they do go after looks too. obviously personality is a big portion but you just cant neglect looks.

[vigilant3]

I really like...

I also saw her at my barber's the other day, I didn't even know it was her, I knew she looked familiar and she looked my way and towards the end she looked at me through the mirrior, I'd look at her for a second and shy away, pop my eye's back to see if she was still looking and she was. Shy'd my eye's away again, lol.


Hi Jimmy

I'm not sure if this will help, but i'll give it a go. I have come a long way with my stuttering, but none of my progress compares to that of which I have made with women.

I find that when speaking to women, I hardly ever stutter unless i'm overly excited, and the key is to not let that happen. It actually helps the situation, as you don't end up saying the wrong things, or giving out too much information. Here are some things to consider that I find help me to virtually never stutter when alone with a woman:

1) Feel that confidence. KNOW deep down that she is a woman and you are a MAN and it is in your nature to "court" her or whatever you want to call it. Despite how women try to be "manly" these days in North America especially, a woman likes to feel a man is taking charge and going for what he wants, and no girl can really deny that. Confidence is y, and it also overpowers your stutter. When you feel like you CAN, you WILL.

2) Keep the statements brief. In fact, rehe a line to get your foot in the door. Did you ever see "Catch Me If You Can" starring Leonardo DiCaprio? The guy walks into a bank, approaches the female teller, and says "I'd like to cash this cheque and take you out to a steak dinner". Sure enough they're having in the next scene. That line is cheesy and awkward to use in 2008, but nonetheless the point holds. Try something basic like "So... listen... I don't know if the bank holds a teller/banker no-dating policy or something, but i'd love to take you out sometime. What do you say?" She'll giggle, smile, and accept. Just be confident about it.

3) Once the date is set, you'll slowly become more comfortable with yourself around her, and the stuttering will either become less apparent, or you'll just tell her about it and she'll deal accordingly. I prefer the "closet" method, where no girl i've ever dated knows I stutter. I just ask a lot of basic questions, and try to get all specifics about myself out of the way ASAP, as I stutter more so on details.

4) Another idea is to emulate a character. I don't mean change who you are, you still want to be yourself of course, but think of someone you really admire, a movie hero, your father, whomever, it doesn't matter. Someone you feel could easily get a date with her. Now focus on him and his mannerisms. Focus on what he'd say, what he'd do to get his foot in the door (not becoming him forever), and then leap at your chance.

I hope this helps you my man. It's done wonders for me. I never thought i'd be as successful with women as my non-stuttering friends, but over time it was easy to prove them wrong. Of course it helps to take care of yourself as well... a good-looking man is always attractive to a woman despite the bullshit they'll feed you about it "all being about personality".

Cheers.

[vigilant3]

“we don’t want to marry the pretty boys…we just want to use them. We want to marry the good guys”…that why they are all taken.


Now see that's the bullshit of humanity.

A woman spreads her legs wide for the good looking moron/badboy, and then after she's been passed around a good dozen times between men, now she decides she'll settle down with the decent clean guy. Same goes for men, so i'm not necessarily directing this towards women, however I feel men are far more honest and open about things than women are and ever will be.

The point is, that's garbage. Either save your heart and self-respect for the good guy to have all for himself (that doesn't mean virginity, it just means no promiscuity), or slut it up and end up with your equal.

Can't have your cake and eat it too :)

[nikita]

Now see that's the bullshit of humanity.

Can't have your cake and eat it too :)

Yes you can...:D

I really dont want to get into this but the school of experience is the best school to learn everything. If it applies to jobs, or academia, it applies to . The more you do it, the better you get at it. Practice makes perfect. or as my father said (and not in this context)...Luck has very little to do with it...the more you practice, the luckier you get. But only until you get to the school of COMMITMENT. By then you'll have sampled enough of everything to really know what you want.

Promiscuity is a man-made term to demonise a perfectly natural system of FINDING THE BEST POSSIBLE MATE TO ENSURE THAT YOUR CHILDREN HAVE THE BEST POSSIBLE GENES. I love my kids. I want them to be good looking, intelligent, tall, strong, and have a naturally sweet disposition. Most of these traits are genetic. I rest my case.

And Derek, looks matter...But then if you are ugly dont blame it on the stutter...;)

And Jimmy, you are too sweet...And I am sure that you will find a girl worthy of ye. And soon too. Just remember, its not what you're not (fluent speaker...etc). its who you are (charming, a good listener, truthful, tactful, romantic, a cute smile, compassionate, open, etc)
Nobody is pefect. But you come close...just a wee bit more:)

[Derek181]

hahah.... iam a good looking guy and it fustrates me that i cant pick up girls as easily. i find so many girls check me out and are interested and talk with me but sometimes they shy away because iam stuttering. they associate stuttering with low self confidence maybe. another thing that fustrates me is my brother who looks exactly the same as me picks up the hottest babes. also i find that the girls who i could get a date wtih iam just not attracted to. its the life of a stutterer nakita.... i dont expect you to understand

[vigilant3]

Yes you can...:D

I really dont want to get into this but the school of experience is the best school to learn everything. If it applies to jobs, or academia, it applies to . The more you do it, the better you get at it. Practice makes perfect. or as my father said (and not in this context)...Luck has very little to do with it...the more you practice, the luckier you get. But only until you get to the school of COMMITMENT. By then you'll have sampled enough of everything to really know what you want.

Promiscuity is a man-made term to demonise a perfectly natural system of FINDING THE BEST POSSIBLE MATE TO ENSURE THAT YOUR CHILDREN HAVE THE BEST POSSIBLE GENES. I love my kids. I want them to be good looking, intelligent, tall, strong, and have a naturally sweet disposition. Most of these traits are genetic. I rest my case.


First of all, LANGUAGE was man-made, so to say promiscuity was a man-made term is redundant to say the least. Irrespective, promiscuity was a phenomenon used to describe men as well. The most notable being Don Juan from the movie "Casanova". He was considered a "skirt-chaser" or "womanizer" and was dubbed "promiscuous".

So now that we've gotten that out of the way, the rest is a matter of opinion. If you as a woman feel that uality is so unimportant and meaningless that you can and should be doing it with whomever you please so that you can "practice" it like a sport as you say, then maybe you should consider prostitution as a profession. You could surely make it into the olympics :)

For those of us however who hold uality in some esteem, a woman who has been penetrated and passed around from man to man to man to man and so on, isn't one we're looking to marry or help to raise our children. LIKEWISE... a woman shouldn't want a man who has slept with every cheerleader on the squad to settle down with her.

I love how an ex-girlfriend of mine put it to me. She said that you as a person are like a flower. A flower has many petals. Every time you give yourself to someone, you lose a petal. What flower do you want to give to your husband or long-term partner that you love?

There's no coincidence that STDs exist on this planet. Clearly we weren't meant to "practice" for fun with massive amounts of partners.

That all being said, one's opinion is one's opinion, and your desire to be promiscuous is your own and nobody can take that away from you nor am I saying or insinuating that it's "wrong" in some way. Just that if you honestly believe the man you end up with in the long term is going to be "the good guy" you thought you'd end up with, he's either going to be incredibly feminine to the point that you'll be bossing him around all the time (wow what a man), or you're just plain mistaken.

:rolleyes:

[nikita]

First of all, LANGUAGE was man-made, so to say promiscuity was a man-made term is redundant to say the least. Irrespective, promiscuity was a phenomenon used to describe men as well. The most notable being Don Juan from the movie "Casanova". He was considered a "skirt-chaser" or "womanizer" and was dubbed "promiscuous".

So now that we've gotten that out of the way...
Uh we havent, I knew I shouldn't've gotten into this in the first place. However since I am knee deep and words like prostitution are being bandied about, what the ...

If you as a woman feel that uality is so unimportant and meaningless that you can and should be doing it with whomever you please so that you can "practice" it like a sport as you say, then maybe you should consider prostitution as a profession. You could surely make it into the olympics :)

Your analogy about being like a sport is applicable. However as any athlete will tell you it requires the utmost in dedication, time and is of the highest importance. I and yes, I should do it with whomever I please...if thats what I please. And I dont know what that has to be with me being a woman. Thats the whole point isn't it...pleasure?
As for making it to the olympics...nah, thats just low...shame on you

For those of us however who hold uality in some esteem, a woman who has been penetrated and passed around from man to man to man to man and so on, isn't one we're looking to marry or help to raise our children. LIKEWISE... a woman shouldn't want a man who has slept with every cheerleader on the squad to settle down with her.

True, however being "passed around" conotes very chauvanistic undertones akin to ownership...You pass a spliff around, not a woman. And yes, theres a difference between a woman who sleep with everything that has a penetrative organ, and woman who chooses her sampling population carefully and discerningly. But a sample non the less and that doesnt mean 1.

I love how an ex-girlfriend of mine put it to me. She said that you as a person are like a flower. A flower has many petals. Every time you give yourself to someone, you lose a petal. What flower do you want to give to your husband or long-term partner that you love?

Yawn!
I'm an equatorial perrenial, I'm always in bloom:D

There's no coincidence that STDs exist on this planet. Clearly we weren't meant to "practice" for fun with massive amounts of partners.

Whos talking about massive amounts? And STD's have always existed...we just know about them now. If you believe that matter is not lost or gained only transformed you'll know that they were always here-Newtons law of conservation.

That all being said, one's opinion is one's opinion, and your desire to be promiscuous is your own and nobody can take that away from you nor am I saying or insinuating that it's "wrong" in some way. Just that if you honestly believe the man you end up with in the long term is going to be "the good guy" you thought you'd end up with, he's either going to be incredibly feminine to the point that you'll be bossing him around all the time (wow what a man), or you're just plain mistaken.:rolleyes:


You dont know me, yet you have taken it upon yourself to judge my man and me with your brand of righteousness, or morality, or whatever you want to call it. If you read my earlier posts you'll know that I'm talking about a real man...not a puppy, or one who thinks his uality is like a flower!!! I also talk about commitment. And there is nothing feminine about being "bossed around all the time"...yet again you betray your true feelings towards women. No wonder...
BTW I do have a good man, how do I know, coz I'm finished with the kleenexes. So I wasn't mistaken. And yes, to each her own:rolleyes:

And Derek, I didnt mean you were Ugly...I'm sure you are a beautiful man. Getting a girl is not rocket science, just trying to give you guys an inside track is all...Dont think women are that shallow because they wont give you the time of day, they generally dont give half the male population the time of day...Just try again and dont take it so personally...

[nate]

oh oh
:eek:

[vigilant3]

Uh we havent, I knew I shouldn't've gotten into this in the first place. However since I am knee deep and words like prostitution are being bandied about, what the ...


This I love. You stated earlier that you didn't want to get into it, and now you're reiterating that point. Why would someone not want to get into something if it was a comfortable and totally common/accepted topic? :rolleyes:


Your analogy about being like a sport is applicable. However as any athlete will tell you it requires the utmost in dedication, time and is of the highest importance. I and yes, I should do it with whomever I please...if thats what I please. And I dont know what that has to be with me being a woman. Thats the whole point isn't it...pleasure?
As for making it to the olympics...nah, thats just low...shame on you


Hm... this I don't get... no shame on me for comparing uality to a sporting event based on your view of it, but shame on me for going so far as to make that sport important; so comparing it to the olympics.


True, however being "passed around" conotes very chauvanistic undertones akin to ownership...You pass a spliff around, not a woman. And yes, theres a difference between a woman who sleep with everything that has a penetrative organ, and woman who chooses her sampling population carefully and discerningly. But a sample non the less and that doesnt mean 1.


You can cl chauvinism till you're blue in the face, but I was very careful about saying the same ideas apply to men... so you're just swinging wildly at this point. I didn't bother to iterate EVERY single thing to both es because i'm directing this post towards YOU who are a woman. Not to the men. Regardless, I did say all things apply to men as well. So, very sorry, but no, i'm not a misogynist :p


Yawn!
I'm an equatorial perrenial, I'm always in bloom:D


Always spread wide open, that's great. At least if you're going to "be" something then be it from all angles. Saying you enjoy having with multiple partners and using men for ual "sport" is the same thing as saying "I like to people for fun and stars do what I do except they get paid."

And yes stars are perfectly legitimate to use in comparison as male stars are very few in number so the women don't really sleep with "that many" people (a sample, but not just 1), and they are tested for STDs before every shoot. The only difference is the stars are again, paid, and i'm assuming based on the fact that you need ual practice to please a man, you probably aren't physically stunning yourself, so they have that one up on you as well. At least admit to the realities if you're going to follow a certain path.



You dont know me, yet you have taken it upon yourself to judge my man and me with your brand of righteousness, or morality, or whatever you want to call it. If you read my earlier posts you'll know that I'm talking about a real man...not a puppy, or one who thinks his uality is like a flower!!! I also talk about commitment. And there is nothing feminine about being "bossed around all the time"...yet again you betray your true feelings towards women. No wonder...


The analogy about flowers and uality was one used by a woman, and I admired the comment, and then directed it towards you as another woman. How that makes me a man who thinks his uality is like a flower, I do not know. Based on the previous hasty accusations however, i'm getting used to you not really knowing what you're talking about.

And feminine men are easy to control. That's a fact not my "true feelings" towards women... try and come up with an intelligent and logical response next time. I know it's hard because women are overly emotional, but since you "use men as kleenexes" the least you can do is try to speak logically on our level.

Think about it: even in a homoual relationship, one partner is feminine, the other masculine. There ARE in fact gender roles within a relationship whether you choose to be a liberal extremist or not. My point here is that you sound like the dominant party of the two, thus your "man" or "boy" or whatever you found to satisfy you after fellating the multitudes of other guys in some ironic way to ultimately please him... (uh huh... ) must be the feminine counterpart.


BTW I do have a good man, how do I know, coz I'm finished with the kleenexes. So I wasn't mistaken. And yes, to each her own


This is where you shoot yourself in the foot, and really there's no need to reply with anymore bullshit about "me" being chauvinistic at this point after that comment. "The lady is done using her male tissues?" Oh well m'lady, t'wood seem YOU are the one objectifying men hm?

All in all, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to paint a very vivid picture of who you are as a person, what you look like, and more based on your views of human uality, your analogies based on drug usage (there were so many better options than "spliff"), and your perfectly "a-ok" attitude towards using men as ual objects but getting bitter towards a man for making a comment or comments that only "seemed" chauvinistic in nature. It's really hard to take anything you're about to say seriously at this point.

You may have captured the attention of some of the men on the forum who are having a hard time speaking to women without a credit card number due to our unfortunate affliction (stuttering), but i've met girls like you way more often than i'd like to have, and you're essentially the "Kleenexes" other men use for a drunken night of fun before finding "the one".

I'm just stating facts based on what you said was crucial. Life experience. :rolleyes:

[nikita]

Chill Quasimodo,
Don’t get your panties all in a bunch.

Originally Posted by nikita
Uh we haven’t, I knew I shouldn't've gotten into this in the first place. However since I am knee deep and words like prostitution are being bandied about, what the ...

This I love. You stated earlier that you didn't want to get into it, and now you're reiterating that point. Why would someone not want to get into something if it was a comfortable and totally common/accepted topic?

I didn’t want to get into it with YOU!!!
Don’t worry I am not going to three-iterate it, now I want to get into it. Tis scintillating sport m'lord hm!

Originally Posted by nikita
Your analogy about being like a sport is applicable. However as any athlete will tell you it requires the utmost in dedication, time and is of the highest importance. I and yes, I should do it with whomever I please...if that’s what I please. And I don’t know what that has to be with me being a woman. That’s the whole point isn't it...pleasure?
As for making it to the Olympics...nah, that’s just low...shame on you

Hm... this I don't get... no shame on me for comparing uality to a sporting event based on your view of it, but shame on me for going so far as to make that sport important; so comparing it to the Olympics.

Please don’t be facetious! A post ago you were cling that I thought was meaningless and unimportant. Now you want to take it out of context and cl you were “making it important”

Originally Posted by nikita
True, however being "passed around" connotes very chauvinistic undertones akin to ownership...You pass a spliff around, not a woman. And yes, there’s a difference between a woman who sleep with everything that has a penetrative organ, and woman who chooses her sampling population carefully and discerningly. But a sample non the less and that doesn’t mean 1.

You can cl chauvinism till you're blue in the face, but I was very careful about saying the same ideas apply to men... so you're just swinging wildly at this point. I didn't bother to iterate EVERY single thing to both es because i'm directing this post towards YOU who are a woman. Not to the men. Regardless, I did say all things apply to men as well. So, very sorry, but no, i'm not a misogynist

And I never said that ye were, either a misogynist or a chauvinist. The term connote means to imply, rather than indicate, I believe the word there would be…denote. So I believe you…even though you sound like one.

Originally Posted by nikita
Yawn!
I'm an equatorial perennial, I'm always in bloom

Always spread wide open, that's great. At least if you're going to "be" something then be it from all angles. Saying you enjoy having with multiple partners and using men for ual "sport" is the same thing as saying "I like to people for fun and stars do what I do except they get paid."


Not always “spread wide open”, always “open”, to everybody else’s way of thinking…

And yes stars are perfectly legitimate to use in comparison as male stars are very few in number so the women don't really sleep with "that many" people (a sample, but not just 1), and they are tested for STDs before every shoot. The only difference is the stars are again, paid, and i'm assuming based on the fact that you need ual practice to please a man, you probably aren't physically stunning yourself, so they have that one up on you as well. At least admit to the realities if you're going to follow a certain path.

You put the A.S.S in assume. You have the audacity to cl that there are more female stars than male. Who buys the movies and the magazines, females? Who keeps those stars in business…other women…I think not.
Be a real man and be it from all angles.

Originally Posted by nikita
You don’t know me, yet you have taken it upon yourself to judge my man and me with your brand of righteousness, or morality, or whatever you want to call it. If you read my earlier posts you'll know that I'm talking about a real man...not a puppy, or one who thinks his uality is like a flower!!! I also talk about commitment. And there is nothing feminine about being "bossed around all the time"...yet again you betray your true feelings towards women. No wonder...

The analogy about flowers and uality was one used by a woman, and I admired the comment, and then directed it towards you as another woman. How that makes me a man who thinks his uality is like a flower, I do not know. Based on the previous hasty accusations however, I'm getting used to you not really knowing what you're talking about.

But you do… view your uality as a flower, it appealed to you because it rang true.
Hasty accusations? No, not hasty. And don’t get used to me; what you think of me is relevant with a IR at the beginning.

And feminine men are easy to control. That's a fact not my "true feelings" towards women... try and come up with an intelligent and logical response next time. I know it's hard because women are overly emotional, but since you "use men as Kleenexes" the least you can do is try to speak logically on our level.

I’m too overly emotional right now, I don’t understand what exactly you expect of me, in this emotional state. Using men as Kleenexes makes me more capable of logic, on what level… Ah you must mean dumb down to your level….Cant do it…I tried but I failed.

Think about it: even in a homoual relationship, one partner is feminine, the other masculine. There ARE in fact gender roles within a relationship whether you choose to be a liberal extremist or not. My point here is that you sound like the dominant party of the two, thus your "man" or "boy" or whatever you found to satisfy you after fellating the multitudes of other guys in some ironic way to ultimately please him... (uh huh... ) must be the feminine counterpart.

Hmmm, there we go again…”multitudes”, when you get an idea fixed in your head its very hard to dislodge it eh…pity.
There are dynamics to every relationship. But why would anyone want to control another person? I’m going to make another accusation, you sound like you have some abusive tendencies as well. I am proud to be in a relationship with a man who treats me as an equal.

Originally Posted by nikita
BTW I do have a good man, how do I know, coz I'm finished with the Kleenexes. So I wasn't mistaken. And yes, to each her own

This is where you shoot yourself in the foot, and really there's no need to reply with anymore bullshit about "me" being chauvinistic at this point after that comment. "The lady is done using her male tissues?" Oh well m'lady, t'wood seem YOU are the one objectifying men hm?

I don’t objectify all men. I objectify pretty boys who want to play! Just like you men objectify the Playboy bunnies. You totally missed the point…Again.

All in all, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to paint a very vivid picture of who you are as a person, what you look like, and more based on your views of human uality, your analogies based on drug usage (there were so many better options than "spliff"), and your perfectly "a-ok" attitude towards using men as ual objects but getting bitter towards a man for making a comment or comments that only "seemed" chauvinistic in nature. It's really hard to take anything you're about to say seriously at this point.

No it doesn’t take a rocket scientist…it takes just you, frantically painting away on the canvas of your mind… And the only thing as deplorable as male chauvinism is drug use…hence the analogy…I think it was quite apt. As for taking me seriously, please don’t try any harder, I don’t take myself seriously!

You may have captured the attention of some of the men on the forum who are having a hard time speaking to women without a credit card number due to our unfortunate affliction (stuttering), but i've met girls like you way more often than i'd like to have, and you're essentially the "Kleenexes" other men use for a drunken night of fun before finding "the one".

I’ve obviously captured your attention, albeit in a most inflamed way.
Oh Well...

I am a doctor, with no interest in other peoples credit cards…I have my own. And you can all me whatever you want, I am stunningly beautiful, both inside and outside, and I have found the one. As for being a Kleenex, everyone needs one at one time or another…think what you want…sure I’ve been a Kleenex, even the lion starts off as prey. As for “some of the men on this forum”, I think you owe them an apology…why? Apply Logic.

I'm just stating facts based on what you said was crucial. Life experience. :rolleyes:

And now to extricate myself from this quagmire…

[Jamus]

Oh boy, after reading all these posts for the past 25 minutes I could certainly let off a few of my own views. But I'll just stick to something simple to get back on the original topic of this thread.

In my experience, with both my own stutter and women, I can say that yes, absolutely 'being yourself' is the only way to go. That is just my view.
A lot of people out there, not just ones who stutter, do not know themselves or what they want. So in turn, these people do not know how to be themselves b/c they are so influenced by other people and haven't discovered who they are yet. It's usually the younger people who feel this way but I've certainly met lots of lost and immature people 30+ yrs old.

But, there have been women who have obviously rejected me b/c of my stutter in some shape or form. These women I just discard from my thoughts b/c if their reaction is so strong as to not even want to attempt to talk to me for a few seconds, they are definitely not worth my time and effort.
The ones I look for are the ones who are not bothered by people who are different, and recognize them as unique individuals and not sheep who just go with the flow of society and life. I have great respect for those who can tolerate stuttering b/c even though I stutter, I have encountered PWS much worse then myself, and it was a bit difficult at first to adjust to them. Afterwords I got to know them and the unique way they talk and I settled right into them.
I feel that's the way a lot of people, or women are who first encounter a stutterer.
Bottom line, I feel if someone continues to talk to you after the initial surprise of you stuttering, then it breaks down a lot of barriers and opens up a door for a LOT more communication. And remember to be honest and to smile! There are so many more things to attracting someone than just the way you talk :)

[Jimmy169]

So...how do you apply to become a star?












:D Sorry that really cought my attention and got me thinking. I wanna reply with more but I gotta run off to class, then work and I'll catch up with the rest of this post there. Hell of a thread this is turning out to be. Let's not take anything personally here, it's just a bunch of different opinions running wild, really reminds me of politics...

[Mullen]

So...how do you apply to become a star?

A similar thought crossed my mind. I was going to ask whether my stutter would be an impediment to my becoming a .

[vigilant3]

I didn’t want to get into it with YOU!!!
Don’t worry I am not going to three-iterate it, now I want to get into it. Tis scintillating sport m'lord hm!


Yes definitely do extricate yourself. Reading through defensive posturing with little or no relevant point(s) at the end has thoroughly bored me.

You should have taken what I said in the first place "your opinion is your own", and shut up. At that point I had already made myself clear and agreed to disagree with your viewpoint.

Best of luck with your new man. If he knows about all the other men you wiped your err... "nose" with, then good luck with your new boy :)

Cheers.

[vigilant3]

So...how do you apply to become a star?


What la Femme Nikita doesn't understand is that male stars ARE in fact very few in number. Not too many men can perform ually under pressure (lights, camera, action!). It's not hard to become one if you have a big , and an ability to get it up on demand.

:p

[vigilant3]

vigilant3

Whilst I am aware that Nikita is more than able to stick up for herself (as I'm sure a certain male member of this forum can verify ;) ) I feel that some of the points you made were personal insults, and I think an apology to Nikita would be a bloody good start.

Nikita has been aware of this forum for a long time before she joined (through her most excellent other half), and I feel that perhaps as a recent member you should take some time to read through old threads to get a feel for the forum.

There were some goods points raised on both sides, but I must say that I agree with Nikita with that, for a person seeking a deeper relationship, personality over looks always wins. With a strong personality, the outer skin is transforned by what is inside, and the act of making love is exactly that; making love to the person(ality), and not to the body that the personality resides in.

I'm just lucky to have both :rolleyes:

Anyway, let's try to keep things a bit more civil in future, shall we?

I stated my point of view after she stated hers, that's all. I can see where you would take some remarks as insulting, but if something is a reality already expressed by an individual, then they should be capable of taking that same reality and putting it into a more accurate context and still be ok with it, no?

For example, if a person says "I love puppies, but I hate spiders", they are saying "I value one's life because it's physically attractive, meanwhile I will kill the other species because it doesn't appeal to me visually". That's the reality of the first statement. Now if you say the first statement and can't handle the second one... well i'm not the one with the problem.

I hope you see my point. It's not meant to insult people as a whole, it's just meant to point out the stupidity of humanity. What Nikita doesn't understand is that habits and physical interactions say a lot about a person's mental and emotional state of being. That's where I get my rationale from. I already have a VERY vivid picture of what and who Nikita is based on my own experience of having met many others just like her.

It's my opinion, it just so happens that my opinion of other people's characters are more often than not correct. If I offended anyone I do apologize for that much, but I don't apologize for saying it like it is. That I will always do, and that mentality is what keeps my stutter in check. If we can't be confident about what we say, then we probably should just shut up after all.

[Jimmy169]

Vigilant, I have a question for you.


First before I ask, I understand both of your point of views, and both have valid arguments, what I like to do when I try to see which point of view I fit in, is, I put myself in their shoes.

So my question is, say there was a nice looking girl, actually really hot and extremely attractive in a class you are taking in college. Say she asks you on a study date but in a wink wink kinda way, and you both kinda figure out and know inside this will be a one night stand. She's very attractive, really take's care of herself, well in shape, hard working, intelligent in school, etc, but you know this will be a one night stand really. Would you go for it?

[nikita]

Yes definitely do extricate yourself. Reading through defensive posturing with little or no relevant point(s) at the end has thoroughly bored me.

You should have taken what I said in the first place "your opinion is your own", and shut up. At that point I had already made myself clear and agreed to disagree with your viewpoint.

Best of luck with your new man. If he knows about all the other men you wiped your err... "nose" with, then good luck with your new boy :)

Cheers.

Defensive posturing...I think you are a very intelligent young man, I also think you are arrogant, narcissistic and extremely intolerant. You have decided to brand me as something...which you are well entitled to do...and then gag me...with a phrase like "You should have taken what I said in the first place "your opinion is your own", and shut up."
A true American...

And thank you...for wishing me luck, even though I dont need it. I suppose though that you will, so good luck to you to you too.:D

I dont have the time, nor the patience to defend my life choices and principles to you...and with that sayonara...

And Jimmy, prostitution is state of mind...whoring after anything by selling/or trading any part of yourself is prostitution...

At least that what I think. You really dont need heels.

[Mullen]

... arrogant, narcissistic and extremely intolerant. You have decided to brand me as something...which you are well entitled to do...and then gag me...with a phrase like "You should have taken what I said in the first place "your opinion is your own", and shut up."
A true American...


Sorry Nikita: he's Canadian.

[nate]

Sorry Nikita: he's Canadian.

Really:D
Well that explains it then:D
OH BTW I'm the feminine boy.

[Scotte85]

Defensive posturing...I think you are a very intelligent young man, I also think you are arrogant, narcissistic and extremely intolerant. You have decided to brand me as something...which you are well entitled to do...and then gag me...with a phrase like "You should have taken what I said in the first place "your opinion is your own", and shut up."
A true American...

And thank you...for wishing me luck, even though I dont need it. I suppose though that you will, so good luck to you to you too.:D

I dont have the time, nor the patience to defend my life choices and principles to you...and with that sayonara...

And Jimmy, prostitution is state of mind...whoring after anything by selling/or trading any part of yourself is prostitution...

At least that what I think. You really dont need heels.

Sorry but I have to agree with vigilant3, Maybe you have diffrent morals and principles in Kenya, Spoken like a true american? I take it you have a problem or dislike americans or you would not generalise them. Please think hard who is really been arrogant, narcissistic and intolerant.

[vigilant3]

Defensive posturing...I think you are a very intelligent young man, I also think you are arrogant, narcissistic and extremely intolerant. You have decided to brand me as something...which you are well entitled to do...and then gag me...with a phrase like "You should have taken what I said in the first place "your opinion is your own", and shut up."
A true American...

And thank you...for wishing me luck, even though I dont need it. I suppose though that you will, so good luck to you to you too.:D

I dont have the time, nor the patience to defend my life choices and principles to you...and with that sayonara...

And Jimmy, prostitution is state of mind...whoring after anything by selling/or trading any part of yourself is prostitution...

At least that what I think. You really dont need heels.

Umm...

a) I'm not American... FAR From it!
b) All your posts since the first one have been an attempt to defend your loose beliefs (not interested).
c) I don't need luck, my life is undoubtedly better than yours :)

I honestly hope you stop replying to me because it's becoming a pain listening to your half-ass attempts at defending your amamie beliefs. One can defend prostitution or ography or even MURDER under the right contexts, or even simply do what you did and defend a POV by saying "because I like it".

The bottom line here is that you have either deluded yourself into believing that you needed to have with lots of different men to "practice" for the man that's gets to have the used version of you, OR you know that's all bullshit because despite the many things that you clearly are you aren't a complete moron, and you simply use "I need practice for my husband!" as an excuse to spread wide for the "pretty boys" which in the end is just terribly sad.

I think you can "practice" just fine with one man or a couple of guys that you loved. Just my opinion! As I stated from the beginning. My ass is covered... you on the other hand just sound ridiculous.

Cheeeeeers :D

[Jimmy169]

i don't know, I just live in a world, around here anyway, where if a guy "score's" as many girl's it's a way for him to show off, but if a girl does something like that they get jumped on like this. So even though I see both points I find this whole thing ironic, just because of the people around me I guess. I fully see where vigilant is coming from, but the guys around me are the exact opposite. I fully see where Nakita is coming from, but the girls around me act the exact opposite, so it's really ironic. But in my life, I've seen this same thing go on, except when it's a guy, he'll get praised for the number of girls he sleeps with, if it's a girl, she'll get called a tramp, or slut. In my example from my previous post, it wouldn't be a big deal for the guy to take the oppurtunity, he'd get praised for it, yet if it was the other way around, the girl would be looked down upon for it...

[vigilant3]

i don't know, I just live in a world, around here anyway, where if a guy "score's" as many girl's it's a way for him to show off, but if a girl does something like that they get jumped on like this. So even though I see both points I find this whole thing ironic, just because of the people around me I guess. I fully see where vigilant is coming from, but the guys around me are the exact opposite. I fully see where Nakita is coming from, but the girls around me act the exact opposite, so it's really ironic. But in my life, I've seen this same thing go on, except when it's a guy, he'll get praised for the number of girls he sleeps with, if it's a girl, she'll get called a tramp, or slut. In my example from my previous post, it wouldn't be a big deal for the guy to take the oppurtunity, he'd get praised for it, yet if it was the other way around, the girl would be looked down upon for it...

Jimmy, I totally understand what you are saying, but women have a conscience choice to do 1 of 2 things:

a) Respond with "Men can be s, so can we"
b) Respond with "We can't be s, men can't be either".

I like "B" better. I think it shows empowerment and self-respect more so that "A". Don't you?

Unfortunately women take the "A" road, and it just causes problems because if we look at things from a factual and genetic, primitive point of view, men were genetically coded to want to impregnate everything in sight. It's our genetic prime directive to ensure breeding. Women on the other hand were genetically coded to breed as well, but once impregnated they were coded to bond with their child and raise it, and then breed again much later.

As much as women may feel "oppressed" by men, their feelings are unfounded unless they are in some kind of SERIOUS position where they're beaten by some asshole or cheated on, etc.

To say that gender roles are "ist" somehow or to say that women and men are ually different is somehow misogynistic, is just ignorant and bitter. Even in a homoual relationship, there's a "feminine" and a "masculine" partner, no? One is dominant, one is submissive. The thing is, find me a woman that hates being ually dominated :P

It's all in the genes! We should facking learn to embrace it! Maybe then in North America the divorce rate wouldn't be so damn high. :rolleyes:

[Jimmy169]

Maybe then in North America the divorce rate wouldn't be so damn high. :rolleyes:

The divorce rate just make's me laugh here. It's unbelievable, it's the norm to get divorced atleast once these days.

[Mullen]

Really:D
Well that explains it then:D
OH BTW I'm the feminine boy.

Don't you talk that way to me! Now you go back and tend to Nikita before she slaps you.:rolleyes:

[Mullen]

The divorce rate just make's me laugh here. It's unbelievable, it's the norm to get divorced atleast once these days.

Not only the divorce rate, but the suicide rate as well. Promiscuity can get downright depressing for a lot of young people, especially young women.

[Jimmy169]

Not only the divorce rate, but the suicide rate as well. Promiscuity can get downright depressing for a lot of young people, especially young women.

I think people are depressed when they don't have enough , can't see how can be depressing. I thought it helped with depression.

Now STD's, or living with aid's aspecially, that's a different story...

[nate]

Don't you talk that way to me! Now you go back and tend to Nikita before she slaps you.:rolleyes:


I like being slapped, whipped, punished:D especially by my Niki:D

People here are way too serious...so much acrimony and vulgarity...i've gotta say though...it was a good topic, i enjoyed alot of it.

Everything everyone said was valid. i agree with Jimmy, girls get pounced on for doing the same thing that guys get praised for.

Its not really about actually doing it...its about being able to it if you wanted to. There are alot of double standards in the world..its life. And women are always going to be percieved as being different from men. Not less, maybe even more, but different none the less.

But the right thing is never a matter of public opinion. And there i agree with that canadian guy:D Just because everyone else wants to do it, doesnt make it right, extreme feminists...

This is the generation of redefinition.
Just my 50 cent

I dont wanna argue..BTDT

[vigilant3]

[QUOTE=Power of three;24466]I have a female friend who, in the past, has used to make her feel better about herself when she was feeling low.

Do I think she is a slut? No. Would I if I didn't know her inner demons? More than probably.

Would I go down that same route if I felt like she does? No. Do I have male friends who would? Without a shadow of a doubt.
QUOTE]

My ultimate point with everything is that things should be said as they are, at face value, and be taken in as neutral data. So do I think your female friend is a "slut" because she slept around with multiple men for emotional benefit? Well, define the word. If the word sluts means a woman who does just that, then of course she is a slut...

It's noble and wise to take all factors and variables as to "why" something occurs into account before passing judgement as to what it should be dubbed, but for goodness sakes at the end of the day; call a spade a spade.

[Jimmy169]

Jimmy - anything to report?????

Nope :(






.

[DKoz]

How did this go from helping a fellow stutterer talk to a girl he likes to promiscuous and prostitution?

[sst]

How did this go from helping a fellow stutterer talk to a girl he likes to promiscuous and prostitution?

Hey, for once I didn't veer the conversation off-course! :D

About the divorce rate in this country, I know more divorced couples than married onces. But people want to prevent s from getting married? Oh no, like we'll destroy marriage further than straights have done themselves! :rolleyes:

[Standingtall]

Aaaahhh yeah . . . The man with the long black hair flowing like a horse’s mane . . . That's the only similarity he has with a horse though. Hence the fact his movies never quite gained "up rising".

BTW, where is our Native-Canadian brother?????

E

The Native-Canadian Brother is still here, just enjoying the conversations.

[Standingtall]

Really:D
Well that explains it then:D
OH BTW I'm the feminine boy.
Nate my friend, there is nothing wrong with Canada, I invite u over and i will show u around.

[Standingtall]

Nope :(






.
Jimmy, my advice, is to keep it simple. I may have missed a few weeks of stuff so i hope this helps. She is making it obvious she is interested in you without saying a word. When she smiles, smile back. Say Hi even if ur standing in line, she will understand u are saying Hi. That will keep her interested until you become brave enough to say more than smile and say hi!!! Body language has done enough and now go and ask her for coffee or make a comment that u see her at the barber shop. U guys have so much in common, your interested in each other, go to the same bank and to the same barber. Good luck and keep us posted.

[Derek181]

did you ask her out yet jimmy

[DKoz]

Hey, for once I didn't veer the conversation off-course! :D

About the divorce rate in this country, I know more divorced couples than married onces. But people want to prevent s from getting married? Oh no, like we'll destroy marriage further than straights have done themselves! :rolleyes:

Interesting point! I remember Chris Rock once had a good point about marriage.

[vigilant3]

Interesting point! I remember Chris Rock once had a good point about marriage.

I don't think there's an issue with marriage, but I don't agree at all with adoption for homoual couples. This has nothing to do with what we're all talking about, but hey, why not ;D

[sst]

I don't think there's an issue with marriage, but I don't agree at all with adoption for homoual couples. This has nothing to do with what we're all talking about, but hey, why not ;D

Let's just ignore this topic, since it probably won't end well. ;)

[sst]

Interesting point! I remember Chris Rock once had a good point about marriage.

Chris Rock is awesome. I love people who just are brutally honest hehe.

[vigilant3]

Chris Rock is awesome. I love people who just are brutally honest hehe.

no no, you ignore topics of people that are brutally honest :p

[sst]

no no, you ignore topics of people that are brutally honest :p

What, that you have some hangup about two guys or two girls adopting kids? Because it's gross, right? ;) Oh, they are going to indoctrinate kids into the homoual lifestyle? Kids need a mom and dad otherwise it's not right? Even though being stuck in the adoption system for years with no home is a terrible fate I wouldn't bestow upon many people? But two guys or two girls just shouldn't be allowed to partake in that particular situation.

I never ignore topics, and I love to debate. But what's the point when you have your mind set one way, and mine the other (correct :p ) way. Going around in circles gets tiresome. But hey, thanks for letting me know not everyone in Canada can be cool. ;) I'll have to keep that in mind for when I emigrate there someday hehe.

Really, no hard feelings at all. You seem like an okay guy, really.

[vigilant3]

What, that you have some hangup about two guys or two girls adopting kids? Because it's gross, right? ;) Oh, they are going to indoctrinate kids into the homoual lifestyle? Kids need a mom and dad otherwise it's not right? Even though being stuck in the adoption system for years with no home is a terrible fate I wouldn't bestow upon many people? But two guys or two girls just shouldn't be allowed to partake in that particular situation.

I never ignore topics, and I love to debate. But what's the point when you have your mind set one way, and mine the other (correct :p ) way. Going around in circles gets tiresome. But hey, thanks for letting me know not everyone in Canada can be cool. ;) I'll have to keep that in mind for when I emigrate there someday hehe.

Really, no hard feelings at all. You seem like an okay guy, really.

I'm not sure if there was an insult that was supposed to be embedded in there somewhere because my point of view is different than yours, even without me explaining it, or if there was an invitation to a genuine debate.

[sst]

I'm not sure if there was an insult that was supposed to be embedded in there somewhere because my point of view is different than yours, even without me explaining it, or if there was an invitation to a genuine debate.

No insult, and no invitation to debate. State your views if you want, I welcome it. :) But I'm not really interested in an in-depth discussion. You know, since it's something that kind of affects me, and something that really doesn't affect you.

[vigilant3]

No insult, and no invitation to debate. State your views if you want, I welcome it. :) But I'm not really interested in an in-depth discussion. You know, since it's something that kind of affects me, and something that really doesn't affect you.

Well you're very good at making assumptions and jumping to conclusions, but terrible at taking criticism I see.

How about this: I am willing, and am actually interested, in hearing your side of it. I won't even offer my side since you don't care, but I actually want to hear your viewpoint. I'm assuming you're homoual and are considering or have considered adoption. Am I correct? And if so, can you give me some insight on your overall outlook of homouality?

Again, no insults or even criticisms constructive or otherwise. Just honestly want to pick your brain and understand better for my own self.

[sst]

Well you're very good at making assumptions and jumping to conclusions, but terrible at taking criticism I see.

How about this: I am willing, and am actually interested, in hearing your side of it. I won't even offer my side since you don't care, but I actually want to hear your viewpoint. I'm assuming you're homoual and are considering or have considered adoption. Am I correct? And if so, can you give me some insight on your overall outlook of homouality?

Again, no insults or even criticisms constructive or otherwise. Just honestly want to pick your brain and understand better for my own self.

I don't take criticism? I'm very good at it, I think. But maybe it doesn't come off that way. ;)

It's been a pretty long day, but tomorrow I promise I'll have a discussion about this with you. You can count on it. :) Yes I have quite a viewpoint, I think.

[vigilant3]

I don't take criticism? I'm very good at it, I think. But maybe it doesn't come off that way. ;)

It's been a pretty long day, but tomorrow I promise I'll have a discussion about this with you. You can count on it. :) Yes I have quite a viewpoint, I think.

Ok well i'd love to hear it, so let me know. And I felt you didn't take well to criticism because

a) you said your view was correct and mine was wrong
b) you said the topic doesn't affect me
c) you were saying i'm not "cool" because I had different stance.

How do you know any of that is true...? All assumptions, and poor responses to criticism...

but then again, maybe you were just joking and I couldn't tell from typing! Anyhow, get back to me on that viewpoint :p

[sst]

Ok well i'd love to hear it, so let me know. And I felt you didn't take well to criticism because

a) you said your view was correct and mine was wrong
b) you said the topic doesn't affect me
c) you were saying i'm not "cool" because I had different stance.

How do you know any of that is true...? All assumptions, and poor responses to criticism...

but then again, maybe you were just joking and I couldn't tell from typing! Anyhow, get back to me on that viewpoint :p

It was mostly a joke post, I mean these are the arguments I hear whenever this subject comes up. So just listed off the reasons why they are wrong, just to get it out of the way. :)

Well I am , and naturally I'd like to have the option to adopt just for the simple reason that I deserve equal rights. I don't even like kids, and I will never adopt, but it's the principle of it that matters.

There's nothing really to be debate, it just comes down to I want those rights, other people don't want me to have those rights. There's a million excuses for those people why I shouldn't have them. I don't think any of them are correct. If they were to experience the things I have, they would change their perspective. But they will never change.

So, how does adoption affect you? Since you're in Canada, I mean it's not the same situation as the U.S. by a long shot. :)

[Jimmy169]

I haven't asked her out yet, I don't think I have the balls to. Just because I'm worried of how awkward it will be to have to come in there over and over, cause that's the closest bank to my job.


This whole homoual adoption thing, now I'm not , but I don't see the problem with it at all, and why the religious right make's such a huge deal out of it. The divorce rate is huge, so the argument of having a mother and father goes out the window. Also, it's not like if the son or daughter isn't , you can turn them ...I mean I am not saying that's a bad thing for one, but I don't think it's possible, I don't think you can choose your attraction like that. I honestly bet that a homoual couple with a child would show as much love if not more love and care to their adopted son or daughter as a straight couple would...I just don't see the big deal, and I am so sick of the prejudice's caused by religion in general.

[sst]

This whole homoual adoption thing, now I'm not , but I don't see the problem with it at all, and why the religious right make's such a huge deal out of it. The divorce rate is huge, so the argument of having a mother and father goes out the window. Also, it's not like if the son or daughter isn't , you can turn them ...I mean I am not saying that's a bad thing for one, but I don't think it's possible, I don't think you can choose your attraction like that. I honestly bet that a homoual couple with a child would show as much love if not more love and care to their adopted son or daughter as a straight couple would...I just don't see the big deal, and I am so sick of the prejudice's caused by religion in general.

Thanks for backing me up! Ah, the good citizens of CT, you live in a wonderful state. :)

I am because I am , I didn't turn . It is not possible to "turn" anyone . The notion that people believe this is just stupid, to be honest. But then again people believe the earth is 6,000 years old, and dinosaurs and cavemen co-existed together. My country has become a breeding ground for hate and intolerance. Is there even a separation of church and state anymore? If not, then the people in power should just give up the facade that this is a "free country". Extremists are extremists, the religion doesn't matter, it's all the same. The arguments against rights for people always come down to religious ones, almost always.

Anyways, I'm sorry to you Jimmy, I didn't mean to turn your thread into this sort of debate hehe. :o

[Derek181]

ahhh jimmy i thought you were going to ask her out. well since all has failed the last plan you got to try is.... slam back a mickey of alcohol then go in there and ask her out. have enough to get you buzzed but not too much so that your not staggering around... do it man its your only hope..

[Jimmy169]

sst, no problem it's an interesting topic, I've never been one to stay on topic myself, I like forums because you can talk about what ever and debate and share thoughts with people, and as a stutterer it's a lot easier to share my thoughts through typing anyway, lol.

Derek, haha, thanks for the advice. With work full time and classes and homework I guess she's kinda faded out of the picture for me, she's not always working when I go to the bank either, I didn't see her today. There's another cute girl at the bank too, lol. But I'll be honest as usual, I don't think I have the balls to ask either of em out. And I can't drink at work so...

[sst]

sst, no problem it's an interesting topic, I've never been one to stay on topic myself, I like forums because you can talk about what ever and debate and share thoughts with people, and as a stutterer it's a lot easier to share my thoughts through typing anyway, lol.

Yeah I couldn't picture myself having half the debates I do online. :D Oh well!

[Standingtall]

Yeah I couldn't picture myself having half the debates I do online. :D Oh well!
I very good point. :D

[Standingtall]

Hello my brother from the far North . . . Glad to hear you are still with us. Greetings form Paradise Island!!!

E
Greetings to my bro from Paradise Island. I am sure u are not missing the colder evenings and the changing of the colours as fall is approaching fast.

[Derek181]

so jimmy, are you going to be single for your whole life? if your too chicken to ask out a girl then you wont ever get a date or a girlfriend. ask yourself this question, how old am i and how many girls have i been with. isnt that a motivating factor in itself to just say to heck with it and go and talk to a girl. i dont have a girlfriend and i never really have and iam 21 but i dont shy away from talking to a girl and when the right time comes i dont shy away from asking them out. i hide behind my stutter and shyness during highschool and a few years after but now since iam speaking much more fluently iam out there chatting it up with girls and iam gonna ask out this one girl that i talk to every once in a while. actually last year i asked out like 2 girls, it was a disaster but i was so glad afterwards that i did it. haha

[Mullen]

Actually last year i asked out like 2 girls, it was a disaster but i was so glad afterwards that i did it. haha

I once asked out a Mexican-american girl who was way too pretty and sweet for me, but she didn't seem to mind when I stuttered every now and then. She would even initiate a conversation with me and seemed genuinely glad to see me. Well it turned out to be a bit of a disaster as well. It didn't bother me too much because she was the sort of girl who eventually marries a very rich man and whose sweetness makes her worthy of having a happy life. (She also may have already had a boyfriend for all I know.)

Well any way, I actually ended up apologizing for asking her out, and that melted her heart a bit towards me. She's in a relationship now (some guy well over six feet tall who drives one of those oversized $40,000 trucks), so I generally keep my distance from her. But she still seems happy to see me, and I think just knowing that I'm fond of her pleases her in some odd way. So everything worked out well, but not as I would have liked of course.

[vigilant3]

There's always russian mail order brides ;D
I'm not even kidding, they're different than what one might think from what I understand. I have no problem talking to women, but women in North America don't want to accept certain realities so it's definitely a viable option to take on a European woman looking to start a family. And holy CRAP are they hot :eek:

[Mullen]

There's always russian mail order brides ;D
I'm not even kidding, they're different than what one might think from what I understand. I have no problem talking to women, but women in North America don't want to accept certain realities so it's definitely a viable option to take on a European woman looking to start a family. And holy CRAP are they hot :eek:

I think there's a tendency for the hot wife to divorce her new husband as soon as he brings her home (which is a circumstance he probably deserves).

My approach would be to learn the language of some far off poverty stricken country where the women are mistreated and the men are usually drunken louts and to find a girl already ostracized for some ridiculous reason (an unwed mother, a war widow, or sometimes even just a bad horoscope) and to give her the protection and financial security she longs for. If it's a pleasant enough country you needn't even bring her home: you could start a family in her country and save her the temptation of leaving you.

But I'm not ready to start a family: I'm much too moody for that.

[vigilant3]

I think there's a tendency for the hot wife to divorce her new husband as soon as he brings her home (which is a circumstance he probably deserves).

My approach would be to learn the language of some far off poverty stricken country where the women are mistreated and the men are usually drunken louts and to find a girl already ostracized for some ridiculous reason (an unwed mother, a war widow, or sometimes even just a bad horoscope) and to give her the protection and financial security she longs for. If it's a pleasant enough country you needn't even bring her home: you could start a family in her country and save her the temptation of leaving you.

But I'm not ready to start a family: I'm much too moody for that.

HAHAHAHA!!... I think you misunderstood the point my good man... I'm not looking for a rape victim :rolleyes:

And yes I hear you about the divorce thing, it's an inherent risk, but a man who plans carefully, and a man who isn't fat bald and desperate, can make things work in his favor i'm sure.

[sst]

Russian brides? Foreign Countries? Why hasn't anyone brought up hookers? :o

To anyone worried that you'll never find someone, there is always someone out there for anyone willing to look. And you don't even have to be desperate! I myself have pretty high standards hehe. No uglies allowed, I say! :p

[Mullen]

Russian brides? Foreign Countries? Why hasn't anyone brought up hookers? :o

To anyone worried that you'll never find someone, there is always someone out there for anyone willing to look. And you don't even have to be desperate! I myself have pretty high standards hehe. No uglies allowed, I say! :p

I use to live in Sri Lanka, even learned the language to some extent. I didn't go there for or to exploit someone else's poverty , but because I was just tired of not fitting into the culture I was living in. Once you integrate yourself into a new society and begin to understand what's going on around you the people you live with aren't seen as any different than yourself. The whole notion that Westerners can only marry Westerners, or that for some reason people from poorer countries are less worthy of one's acceptance is really short-sighted and cruel.

[bignick]

I use to live in Sri Lanka, even learned the language to some extent. I didn't go there for or to exploit someone else's poverty , but because I was just tired of not fitting into the culture I was living in. Once you integrate yourself into a new society and begin to understand what's going on around you the people you live with aren't seen as any different than yourself. The whole notion that Westerners can only marry Westerners, or that for some reason people from poorer countries are less worthy of one's acceptance is really short-sighted and cruel.

Thats a very good point Mullen, I have a very good friend who went exploring around the world and got to Vietnam and loved it so much stayed there. At first for him everyone was suspicious about him, but he made friends over there, learned the complex language and find a vietnamese lady who he has since married and I cant see him ever coming back to England They say love is blind and I have to agree on that.

Nick.

[sst]

I use to live in Sri Lanka, even learned the language to some extent. I didn't go there for or to exploit someone else's poverty , but because I was just tired of not fitting into the culture I was living in. Once you integrate yourself into a new society and begin to understand what's going on around you the people you live with aren't seen as any different than yourself. The whole notion that Westerners can only marry Westerners, or that for some reason people from poorer countries are less worthy of one's acceptance is really short-sighted and cruel.

Oh no, I don't think that at all. I just got the feeling some people on here thought they would never find anyone. When people were talking about Russian brides, I thought it was a joke. Which is why I was suprised nobody brought up s hehe. :D

I think people from other countries are great, in fact I would love to live outside this country someday. All I really meant is there is someone for everyone in our own countries, but that shouldn't stop you from seeking what you really want if it's outside it.

[sst]

Hey, if I found someone . . . anyone can!!! All you need to do is to set your standards very, very low and then; fail to achieve them :D

BTW, for all those whiners, complainers, groaners, and moaners . . . The aforementioned is called "humor" and it was my stab at "some kind of" a joke . . . Get it!

I really don’t want to be persecuted by the Forum Police or prosecuted by the forum judge & jury. :eek:

Well I think you're funny! You won't find any policing from me hehe. :cool:

[Standingtall]

There is one thing we are in common with the fluent speaking folks. We sure are picky with our women/men. To think, that we get rejected because we stutter, how about what the other think when we reject them because they don't meet our standards of beauty. Everybody is beautiful and even if u are just friends. When u are in love, that person is perfect.

[Mullen]

There is one thing we are in common with the fluent speaking folks. We sure are picky with our women/men. To think, that we get rejected because we stutter, how about what the other think when we reject them because they don't meet our standards of beauty. Everybody is beautiful and even if u are just friends. When u are in love, that person is perfect.

That's a very, very good point: something to keep in mind when we're feeling sorry for ourselves.

Another might be that it is not only stutterers who find themselves alone in the world.

[sst]

Well, thanks lad! :)

Hey, well we all have to stick together!

[Jamus]

There is one thing we are in common with the fluent speaking folks. We sure are picky with our women/men. To think, that we get rejected because we stutter, how about what the other think when we reject them because they don't meet our standards of beauty. Everybody is beautiful and even if u are just friends. When u are in love, that person is perfect.

We are definitely just like everyone else, stutter or not. I've been with a handful of women and only a couple of them I would say had what I was looking for in a relationship. I can be very picky about it, but I'd rather be picky and be alone than be in a relationship with someone I'm not interested in besides just . I've been there before and it's wrong and unfair to them b/c you eventually have to break away and you may end up breaking their heart. It's not a pleasant situation.
I always end up falling for the unobtainable women. They've been either married or taken.. figures :rolleyes:
But I'm not desperate just b/c I stutter, I still have certain standards of what I want just like everyone does. Not every rejection I've gotten has been b/c of my stutter. I truly believe that.

[vigilant3]

This is a very interesting point, because I discuss way more with people in person than I do online.

Perhaps that's why there are a lot of outspoken posts, and some "expressive, rich" language on here because it's the only arena which some people feel totally at ease with.

Which is a shame, because it's not really real life.



Having an outlet where one can express themselves openly and freely without fear such as on the internet, is a wonderful thing and isn't a shame nor sad in any way shape or form. I have to strongly disagree that this isn't real life, because communication whether it be via verbal methods or textual ones, is still communication. Man invented language, and he also invented writing to complement that language. If people have to express themselves in this form, who are you or we to judge.

[sst]

Having an outlet where one can express themselves openly and freely without fear such as on the internet, is a wonderful thing and isn't a shame nor sad in any way shape or form. I have to strongly disagree that this isn't real life, because communication whether it be via verbal methods or textual ones, is still communication. Man invented language, and he also invented writing to complement that language. If people have to express themselves in this form, who are you or we to judge.

Exactly, Vigilant. I look at this as sort of an outlet to relieve the burden of never getting to have these kinds of discussions with people in the real world. This is real life, we are all real people sharing real opinions and emotions. I'm not sure why some people don't realize this or discount that fact. :confused:

Power of Three, you discuss everything with everyone in real life? And you stutter? These people must have more patience than anyone I've ever met. Your post really hit a nerve with me. It comes off as very dismissive, and snobbish. Why are you here, if not to discuss your thoughts and feelings? This is the reason why the people created this forum.

I have my friends in real life that I discuss things with, but that doesn't mean they have the patience to sit around and listen to me ramble on and stutter about anything on my mind.

[sst]

My life, my issues, my joy, my trauma, my future are all in the physical world. Which is where my "real" life is. This cannot be turned off.

This is a place to relieve some stress of the daily world. It allows us to discuss what's on our minds without having to worry about stuttering. How has anyone behaved any different than in real life, on this forum? This forum is unique from others, it is quite a bit more mature. I've never read a bad post. Anyone who gets into heated discussions does so with respect to others. Real life is not always full of people who respect your opinions.

On the phone, you say? Well most people who stutter, hate phones. Even with people they are comfortable with. I agree with you that face-to-face is great, I love talking to my friends and the people I care about in person. On the phone, not so much. It's not fear, just something I don't enjoy.

What makes you think all of us aren't going through our own joy, trauma, issues, and thoughts about our future? What makes you unique in that regard? ;) All of us have our own problems in the real world. I am not alone, and you are not alone.

I really don't disagree with any of your points, but this forum is unique and is just as valid as any method of discussing issues in real life.