View Full Version : I'm getting laughed at my expense.
happy7117
09-10-2008, 02:34 AM
:mad: I am not sure if "expense" is the right word here to describe the situation I am about to explain, so corect me if I'm wrong.
I absolutely love my work, and the employees I work with as well as the co-employees, but today I had second thoughts about my boss. His name is James. Great guy. He was that is untill today.
I am not sure if he was making a joke, or mocking me or wanting to laugh when I started to stutter or what, but he was starting to irritate me.
This other female employee who just started was working with him. Well I was working in the file room next door and doing my usual file thing. As I was deep in thought sort of focused on the task at hand, I was able to hear everything around me.
The female-emplyee who is probably 20 or 21 started snickering, and my boss started snickering and laughing, and having a great time, obviously enjoying each others company.
At cerian intervills, maybe every 10 or 5 minutes, my boss would randomly say "Hey Adam, How's it going??"
Of course he knew I had the stutter going on as we have worked together for a long while now, but something in his tone of voice while asking that question of "Hey Adam! How's it going""made me think he was not asking me a simple casual question.
The tone of his voice sounded kidding, or as if he wanted a cheap laugh at my expense--in other words, knowing that I always respond to a head honcher or supervisor, I would sort of stutter while answering.
Why did I feel like he wanted a quick laugh by hearing me stutter?? It was an innocent question, but it seemed like he was asking me "how's it going" just so he could snicker or giggle at my stutter.
And he would ask this question every 15 minutes or so. When he wasn't "asking" this question, he was chatting very lively to this other female employee who seemed to realy like his company.
When James(my boss) left, and it was just me and her, she was quiet, never realy talked to me. I try to joke a little, she didn't respond. So I did what I always do when someone does not respond even when I say something fluently, I jokingly respond if they were them.
Could it be me and this female employee had no chemistry..
Could it be that James and this other female employee had great chemistry and their personalities meshed well together??
Could it be that both of them snickering and laughing could be towards me and some stuttering..could it be there are laughing at the fact I have trouble spitting it out at times.
As fair and considerate as I try to be, I would never want to get this guy or girl in trouble. I truly enjoy working for them-well him at least. I help HER.
I don't want to be a snitch, and get my butt in trouble, or get them in trouble for something that just may require me to toughen it up.
Oh yeah, also. Anyone heard of the masking effect? When a stutterer cannot hear is voice at all when talking and that makes him fluent...
One of the rooms that seperate the filing room that I file in from the main office has a masking quality to it, and I am very fluent in talking in that room.
I said "have a great day James" in that particular room. Did not stutter or trip once. He did not laugh, and we had a short light chit-chat about how are day was.
He did not laugh or show a trace of a giggle when I was flawless or fluent.
The masking quality in that room made me fluent.
Any very LOUD noise that I can focus on while talking or just starting to talk inhibits the stuttering completely without fail.
Little escapades like this realy piss me off especialy when devices that help this problem are out there readily purchasable. But so fricking expensive.
If I had a Fluency Master or other masking device similar to it that picked up my voice with a microphone, and masked it as I spoke, that situation with that great boss of mine, and any future situations with stuttering could have been prevented.
Devices ARE my speech therapy, since that standard therapy as failed me.
This is what happens when one does not have a few thousand to be able to help themselves and their own problem like stuttering. And that means purchasing a device which is the only way to go sometimes.
The person stuttering who can't afford a device which is a few thousand, have to live with the fact they have to put up with this stuttering bull because they can't afford something they realy need to benefit them and their life.
As a result, they are subject to embarrassment to themselves, uneasiness with others, and snickers from unsuspecting co-workers when one may least expect it.
:mad:
And this smilie is for my ex-awesome boss James::
:p
Scotte85
09-10-2008, 05:14 PM
I have the speech easy device and its not the same as been in a loud room, Ive been in loud place's before so I know what you mean but that speech easy device doesnt seem to do the same as that, and if you are in a stressful situation the device doesnt do anything, you tighten up anyway, and if your a blocker then its no good for you since it needs sound to work. Maybe it might work better for others.
As for the laughing at your expense I know what you mean, that what you mentioned has happend to me countless times, as well as other times when you are around a corner and people are in another room and don't know you can hear them and they are mimicking you and having a laugh..
So did you leave that job? you say ex awesome boss james? lol
happy7117
09-10-2008, 05:45 PM
I have the speech easy device and its not the same as been in a loud room, Ive been in loud place's before so I know what you mean but that speech easy device doesnt seem to do the same as that, and if you are in a stressful situation the device doesnt do anything, you tighten up anyway, and if your a blocker then its no good for you since it needs sound to work. Maybe it might work better for others.
As for the laughing at your expense I know what you mean, that what you mentioned has happend to me countless times, as well as other times when you are around a corner and people are in another room and don't know you can hear them and they are mimicking you and having a laugh..
So did you leave that job? you say ex awesome boss james? lol
I say ex because he used to be awesome, but he's not awesome anymore. At least untill he shows some respect!
Adam
Mebbe he was showing off...trying to show u he had game. Making sure u noticed. Guys do that to each other! Especially since maybe u and him are tight.
Nate
Jimmy169
09-10-2008, 07:34 PM
Adam be careful with assumptions bro. You know what they say about the word...god knows I've made a fool of myself assuming the worst before, when infact it wasn't the case at all.
Hopefully it's not the case, but even if it is, what good does it do to hang your thoughts on it, on assuming the worst, might as well not assume the worst and go about your day, I'm sure unless the girl is a total she would feel bad and look down on your boss if that's what he was doing. But don't assume she's a becuase that may not be what they were talking about at all, like Nate said he was probably trying to show off his game, or show her that he's cool with everyone at the office by saying hows it going all the time.
emily445455
09-10-2008, 09:15 PM
Sometimes guys act differently around women than they do around guys. Maybe he was "showing off" in a stupid-guy-like-fashion. No offense guys, but sometimes you guys do some pretty stupid things to get attention from girls :p
ak47oooo
09-11-2008, 04:35 AM
As a couple other people pointed out, he was clearly showing off to that girl by trying to be funny. What he did was very wrong, but it's probably not his true self. If he keeps it up though and if you can, definitely get him in trouble. I think this kind of discrimination is against the law in America, someone back me up on this statement.
As a couple other people pointed out, he was clearly showing off to that girl by trying to be funny. What he did was very wrong, but it's probably not his true self. If he keeps it up though and if you can, definitely get him in trouble. I think this kind of discrimination is against the law in America, someone back me up on this statement.
Erm..not quite...first of all America is an at will workers thingy...anyway, u can be hired and fired at will. :D i did not make this up...
2, you'd have to prove that there was some sort of discrimination against you because you stutter, eg being passed up for a promotion, and since this guy has never treated u badly before...well then why would he all of a sudden start now?
But also theres alot to be said for your feelings..if u feel hurt, then he should at least know. I hate it when someone just cuts me off and gets mad and doesn't even tell me what I did wrong. And if he was yo mate you should at least tell him. He deserves that much for being awesome in the past, right?
But if his explanation doesnt sound right, call 1800-lawyer and see if u can sue...then with the proceeds u can buy that much coveted speech device Adam.
If that macdonalds woman won...why shouldnt you?:D
Adam:
First option - address this issue with the people in question.
Second option - let it be and let it annoy you forever more.
Third option - get another job.
You already know this, so which one is it going to be?
whats the last one?
Shut it
Buy a device already
Sue
Fill me in bro!
thatCALIdude
09-12-2008, 07:31 AM
i think you should contact your human resources and file a complaint.
ak47oooo
09-12-2008, 04:01 PM
Erm..not quite...first of all America is an at will workers thingy...anyway, u can be hired and fired at will. :D i did not make this up...
2, you'd have to prove that there was some sort of discrimination against you because you stutter, eg being passed up for a promotion, and since this guy has never treated u badly before...well then why would he all of a sudden start now?
I cant tell who's side you're on here, this statements kind of contradict each other. I know you didnt make that up, but as you sort of said in your next paragraph, there are exceptions. Like you cant be hired and fired at will over racial issues and stuff.
And do you not like me or something nate? Not trying to be accusatory, just getting that vibe...
Happy, have you tried the stuttering devices? Are you sure they work?
All I'm saying is, don't put all your hopes into one thing, because chances are the device won't work. People have been trying to rip off stutterers forever. If these devices really worked, there would be more information about them.
first of all, speech easy doesnt work if you get BLOCKS instead of traditional repetition stuttering, like me.Secondly, I think your boss is an ass and was laughing at you to try to score the new girl.
I cant tell who's side you're on here, this statements kind of contradict each other. I know you didnt make that up, but as you sort of said in your next paragraph, there are exceptions. Like you cant be hired and fired at will over racial issues and stuff.
And do you not like me or something nate? Not trying to be accusatory, just getting that vibe...
Alex,
Why would u say that?
I do like you. I just joke alot and sometimes i dont know when to quit. Thats yet another fault i have. I am very sorry that u r getting that kind of vibe...sure there are people here that i really dont like...but u r not one of them...YET:D
See too many jokes...and they may not even be funny.
I dont live where Adam lives, and i'm not a lawyer, but i do know that America is a very litigious (sp?) society. And the first instinct is to sue. But what they dont tell u is that its expensive, it ruins yo rep, and it could sink thousands of dollars if they find for the defendant.
However if he sincerely feels he was discriminated against - again he'd have to prove it -but he should sue and perhaps he may set a precedent. because luckily there are laws in America for just such things.
But i also know that I as a stammeres have a tendency to think the worst of even the most benign of situations. And only when i let that shit go was i able to finally interact with the world somewhat normally. IDK everyone has their own journey in life. But i could have saved myself so much grief by just letting it go.
Thats all
Nate
ak47oooo
09-13-2008, 10:40 AM
I just joke alot and sometimes i dont know when to quit.
Holy crap, I thought I was guilty of the same thing. Talk about a misunderstanding. Me so sorry.
I got that vibe by the way you said "erm, not quite"... I assumed it was implying that I couldn't possibly know what I'm talking about (oops). In other words, I took it as an attack. My bad
....And dude, how'd you know my name.... you spy'n on me? :cool:
....And dude, how'd you know my name.... you spy'n on me? :cool:
African Juju: I am a natural wizard, a grigriman, i have spirits who tell me everything after i have fed them blood, human blood. They whisper in my ear...peoples names, where they live, their SS#'s
They are called hacker spirits.
They live in The Matrix!
I can even cast spells and hex people, and bind them...
Wanna see? :D
Alex honestly, stop smoking greens, they'll ruin your short term memory. U told me "my name is Alex, my initials AK, hence my user name..." dont ye remember? search it.
"Spyin' on me???" Mira!:eek:
Nate
happy7117
09-14-2008, 01:13 AM
Happy, have you tried the stuttering devices? Are you sure they work?
All I'm saying is, don't put all your hopes into one thing, because chances are the device won't work. People have been trying to rip off stutterers forever. If these devices really worked, there would be more information about them.
Any device usage is better than no device usage.
The reason every stutter does not have a device which they should is because they are too expensive.
Saying a device does not work is probably because it is NOT the right device for that stutterer.
One device that works for 1 stutterer, may not work for another stutterer.
Same with Speecheasy. It may not work for one stutterer, but it may benefit greatly for another stutterer.
If money was not an issue which it is for me, I would have a device now.
Stuttering is bull-shit..and I don't blame people for hanging up on me when I can't spit it out.
Stuttering is bull-shit..and I don't blame people for hanging up on me when I can't spit it out.
Stuttering is not bullshit, it's a part of who we are. It's just something we have to deal with.
People who hang up on you because you stutter are pieces of shit. You do not deserve to be treated like that, none of us do. Why blame yourself? It's just a part of you. It's something you can't change, but just reduce.
I've been hung up on when I call people, and laughed at when I answer the phone. What do I think of those people? I think of those people as ignorant piles of feces who do not deserve the time of day. I'm too good to deal with people like that.
You can spend all the money in the world to help you deal with your stuttering, but it won't change anything if you can't accept who you are, and stop belittling yourself. What happens when you spend the $5,000 grand or whatever it costs to get a "speech device", that is not reviewed by any medical board that I know of, and it doesn't work? You're out a lot of money and you set yourself up for disappointment.
If your boss was making fun of you, go up to him and tell him, it is harassment and he can get in serious trouble for it. The workplace should be professional, not a playground where people make fun of others.
You seem like a good person and all of us here know exactly how you feel. But you won't improve your stuttering until you accept yourself and don't look down upon yourself.
ak47oooo
09-14-2008, 05:12 AM
People who hang up on you because you stutter are pieces of shit.
Well I dont think they're pieces of shit, I just think they dont understand what stuttering is. Like maybe they thought they got disconnected or something, I dunno, you know what I mean. It's not like they can see you talking and can see whats going on. Although there was one time when I stopped a woman walking by me and I began to ask her a question and I got stuck on a word and she just walked away. Now she was a piece of shit.
Well I dont think they're pieces of shit, I just think they dont understand what stuttering is. Like maybe they thought they got disconnected or something, I dunno, you know what I mean. It's not like they can see you talking and can see whats going on. Although there was one time when I stopped a woman walking by me and I began to ask her a question and I got stuck on a word and she just walked away. Now she was a piece of shit.
Well you are right, Ak, I suppose I am being a bit harsh on those people who don't know that I stutter, hehe. It is a natural reaction to hearing someone stutter on the phone, I guess. :o
The worst is face to face, people looking at you like they've seen an alien or something. You are right, those people are pieces of shit! :D
Jamus
09-15-2008, 12:40 AM
Stuttering is not bullshit, it's a part of who we are. It's just something we have to deal with.
People who hang up on you because you stutter are pieces of shit. You do not deserve to be treated like that, none of us do. Why blame yourself? It's just a part of you. It's something you can't change, but just reduce.
I've been hung up on when I call people, and laughed at when I answer the phone. What do I think of those people? I think of those people as ignorant piles of feces who do not deserve the time of day. I'm too good to deal with people like that.
You can spend all the money in the world to help you deal with your stuttering, but it won't change anything if you can't accept who you are, and stop belittling yourself. What happens when you spend the $5,000 grand or whatever it costs to get a "speech device", that is not reviewed by any medical board that I know of, and it doesn't work? You're out a lot of money and you set yourself up for disappointment.
I wholeheartedly agree with most of this, and wanted to elaborate on some points :cool:
I'll start my disagreement first. Like AK said in the last 2 posts before this, it is true that you cannot blame everyone for hanging up on you or not having patience with you on the phone. Most people do not know how to deal with a stutterer, and especially on the phone they can't even tell that you are stuttering. It just sounds like a prank call or something and get pissed and hang up. I totally understand that. They are ignorant yes, but totally to blame, no.
It is different in person of course. As I've said, most people have never encountered a stutterer, so they don't know how to react/take it in when they encounter someone who does. Still, I cannot blame them for some of their reactions, but there is a definite line in the sand regarding that. Obvious mocking, laughing, or walking away is definitely the work of a scumbag, and yes, they do not deserve the time of day from us.
Once I was at a bar. It was 1 am and I was ordering a beer. A girl walks up to me, pretty drunk, and starts hitting on me. She asks me to buy her a drink. Which I do, and then she asks me my name and I ask her hers. A minute later I stutter on a word and she gives me the most horrendous looking face ever and starts to walk off. I stop her and tell her.. 'hey its ok i just stutter. She stayed but then the next time I looked away from her, I turned backed around and she was gone. She was just waiting for the opportunity to dash away under my nose. Now, I realize it could have been the fact that she was drunk, but I believe people would do that being sober as well. I laughed it off afterwords b/c I knew that person was not worth my time and it didn't spoil the rest of my night.
In realizing and understanding this powerful tool, we will be more at ease in dealing with others who have no tolerance of stuttering, and more confidence with ourselves approaching speaking situations in general.
Lastly, yes, accepting you for who you are is a huge step in dealing with every aspect of your speech. It gives you piece of mind that you know who you are while talking and no one else is going to influence your thinking b/c of their ignorant reactions.
You have some great insight on stuttering SST, thank you for the reminders!
ak47oooo
09-15-2008, 03:31 AM
She stayed but then the next time I looked away from her, I turned backed around and she was gone. She was just waiting for the opportunity to dash away under my nose.
Sounds like the work of a shallow anyway. For years, the thing I hated most about my stutter is that it prevented me from arguing or standing up for myself, 'cause how can I do that if I cant get the words out?
Anyway, point being this: If I saw her starting to walk away a second time, I'd say, "You're a ing anyway, go back to your sorority house you cunt!". Then I'd wait until she started to walk home hammered, drag her into an alley, rape her and skin her alive, toss her torso into a dumpster and turn her head into a lampshade.
.....too far? scratch all that, I would still call her a in
You have some great insight on stuttering SST, thank you for the reminders!
Hey thanks Jamus! I suppose I just wrote that out of anger hehe. I've never thought of myself as an insightful person, but I realized I suppose I do have experience in this area, and I've been through a lot of crazy shit in my life.
Well about the being laughed at by girls thing... if you were to replace girls with guys, it could apply. But I've never been laughed at when I'm at a club or bar, and someone comes up to me. Usually they (being he) buys me drink, and the rare occasion I do stutter, he would think it's "cute" or something. I've never had to buy anyone a drink, hehe. I'm not sure why, exactly. But hey whatever works. people tend to me more laid back than most.
I guess I don't have experience with this sort of embarassing story. It's mostly the noise level in those places, makes it hard for the stuttering to get noticed. Most people if they are really interested in you, will overlook your flaws if they want to get to know you. So yeah, that girl did sound like a total . I am not ashamed to say that. :p Don't worry about that , most girls are cool. My friends who are girls would never laugh at someone who stutters, cause I'd kick their ass! :)
Ak47, you have an awesome imagination. I tend to go off on crazy tangents too! :D We totally share the same brain.
Anyway, point being this: If I saw her starting to walk away a second time, I'd say, "You're a ing anyway, go back to your sorority house you cunt!". Then I'd wait until she started to walk home hammered, drag her into an alley, rape her and skin her alive, toss her torso into a dumpster and turn her head into a lampshade.
.....too far? scratch all that, I would still call her a in
Oh Snap! :eek:
Jamus
09-15-2008, 06:38 AM
Well about the being laughed at by girls thing... if you were to replace girls with guys, it could apply. But I've never been laughed at when I'm at a club or bar, and someone comes up to me. Usually they (being he) buys me drink, and the rare occasion I do stutter, he would think it's "cute" or something. I've never had to buy anyone a drink, hehe. I'm not sure why, exactly. But hey whatever works. people tend to me more laid back than most.
I guess I don't have experience with this sort of embarassing story. It's mostly the noise level in those places, makes it hard for the stuttering to get noticed. Most people if they are really interested in you, will overlook your flaws if they want to get to know you. So yeah, that girl did sound like a total . I am not ashamed to say that. :p Don't worry about that , most girls are cool. My friends who are girls would never laugh at someone who stutters, cause I'd kick their ass! :)
That story happened about 7 years ago, and I reacted far better then I expected. Shrugged it off pretty much. At that point I already was set in my ways of knowing who I was/am. So it made the experience and all experiences since then far easier to deal with b/c of the perspective I have.
The women that don't flinch an inch when I stutter (and mind you I can have a pretty severe stutter sometimes), are the ones I have the most respect for b/c they tend not to judge others by first look or first conversation. They make me feel the most comfortable and they will get the most attention.. not to mention the most fluent words b/c I will be at ease :D
In a club or bar or when it's loud in the room where I am speaking my speech is definitely better. Like Happy said in the first post, it's like a masking effect, that masks the fine details of your voice that you don't hear when talking, hence making easier for you to talk. The little starter sounds I make when starting to speak I believe influence how the rest of my words come out. (if that makes sense to anyone)
ak47oooo
09-15-2008, 01:05 PM
I sincerely apologize. I shouldnt have said any of that. You're absolutely right.
Finnegan Rhies
09-15-2008, 01:52 PM
Happy, I think you should politely confront your boss with your suspicions and be honest about your discomfort. Your suspicions may not be true, he maybe laughing about something else. I know that most of us stutterers tend to be so concentrated about our stuttering that we always think we are being laughed at because of it (and I know this happens because of our difficult childhood) but it is not always so. Not everything is about our stuttering. So talk to him, you have nothing to lose. If your right you will only make him acknowledge that he acted like a jerk and, if he is a nice guy, be shameful about it.
Finn
I sincerely apologize. I shouldnt have said any of that. You're absolutely right.
Good Man Alex.
Many on this forum should take note...when a man (or woman) makes a dogs breakfast of things, he should be able to stand up, apologise, and move on.
A wise head on young shoulders...even though sometimes stupid things come out of it:D
Mullen
09-15-2008, 03:09 PM
I sincerely apologize. I shouldnt have said any of that. You're absolutely right.
Your post was in poor taste, but don't let yourself be bullied. It's nice to see someone with a lively sense of humor on the forum.
bignick
09-15-2008, 03:16 PM
Back to the original point.
Adam,
I would ask to speak to this bloke and tell him how you feel, you might be getting the completely wrong conclusion of what happened. At least if you explain things he might explain how the situation went.
Nick..
I sincerely apologize. I shouldnt have said any of that. You're absolutely right.
I understand it was just a joke Ak, I have an off-color sense of humor myself hehe. :o So at least one person found your post humorous! I'm not sure everyone understand "sarcasm", or even what it is. People take things too seriously. I mean, all of us have serious fears in real life, it's good to come here to unwind.
Mullen is right, we shouldn't let ourselves be bullied in real life, so why here? It's great to be yourself! :D
Humour? You find those remarks funny?
Let's see if somebody you care about experiences what was written about, and then see how funny you find it.
You're both very recent members to this forum, so I recommend taking a look at old threads to see what humour is, because this is as far from being so as can be.
As for being bullied, are the pair of you implying that I am the bully? If you are, then you both really have a victim complex.
Yes I did laugh at it, I bet quite a few others did too. He was making a joke, it's called off-color humor. Not everything in this world can be white-washed and sanitized to not offend anyone. He didn't make any demeaning statements about anyone, he just made a crazy rant that was meant to be humor. Which is why he asked "...too far?". Do you honestly think he meant harm to someone? Come on. He is clearly a nice guy who has a sense of humor. Which is not true for a lot of people these days. ;) The people I care about have nothing to do with this.
Dude, I might have joined in July but I've been reading this place for years. When I had something to say, I joined. It is that simple.
A "victim complex"? Well, most likely getting offended at a joke is more akin to a "victim complex", than defending someone who clearly is a great contributor to this forum. You clearly think you can tell everyone what they can and cannot type. Ak never made a threat to anyone, nor put down anyone in this forum.
No offense, I just think it could be an issue relating to different cultures. A person from one country might not find something someone said from another country funny. Just like in movies and TV shows. What you find humorous might not be to me, and vice versa.
ak47oooo
09-15-2008, 04:52 PM
As for being bullied, are the pair of you implying that I am the bully? If you are, then you both really have a victim complex.
Whoa, hey, I didnt say any of that, I already backed off. Let's not point fingers here, nobody's ganging up on you.
Whoa, hey, I didnt say any of that, I already backed off. Let's not point fingers here, nobody's ganging up on you.
Sorry for getting involved Ak hehe. I just felt you didn't deserve to be called out for something you didn't do. :o No hard feelings to anyone of course.
Yes, humour is all relative. Must just be different cultures as you said, rather than different countries :rolleyes:
Oh no, sarcasm, I'm offend. :D Just kidding, no offense intended to you at all.
I'm just a huge proponent of free speech. Plus Ak is just a funny guy. I totally didn't mean to start anything with you, I apologize if I sounded like I was. But just to let you know, the people I care about have gone through their own shit, and it doesn't affect my sense of humor. I laugh at things that are funny, it is that simple.
So at least we all learned something new today. I feel like I'm on Sesame Street for Stutterers.
Nothing was ed at you Alex, the pair in question were your legal team :rolleyes:
:D :D :D
Legal team! FOCL!
emily445455
09-15-2008, 11:10 PM
P of 3....bravo.
Ooh...so how many people do have twins on this forum?
I do so that makes 1
and Bignick does so that makes 2
And Jayne that makes 3
anyone else???
Standingtall
09-15-2008, 11:34 PM
Ooh...so how many people do have twins on this forum?
I do so that makes 1
and Bignick does so that makes 2
And Jayne that makes 3
anyone else???
Nate my friend, u know i got twin girls and they stutter also.
emily445455
09-15-2008, 11:38 PM
Ooh...so how many people do have twins on this forum?
I do so that makes 1
and Bignick does so that makes 2
And Jayne that makes 3
anyone else???
I have a twin brother and sister who are 9...that count?
Mullen
09-16-2008, 02:15 AM
Grow up! Nobody is bullying anyone.......just pointing out that this is a public forum where all types of people from all age groups and all persuasions come for help and support. Many people would find it offensive. Have some respect for other people! Lively sense of humour? Have a word with yourself Mullen!
Frankly I find yours and POT's anger more offensive that AK's tasteless joke. His humor is lively, and is for the most part inoffensive (and least I hope so, but when it comes to the sensibilities of middle aged Englishmen and devout Christians I'm never really quite sure:rolleyes: ).
As you said, this is a public forum for all age groups and for all persuasions. If we find anything objectionable, let's object to it in a civil and tactful manner. Vitriolics are distasteful, even if they do tend to evoke apologies.
emily445455
09-16-2008, 02:43 AM
Frankly I find yours and POT's anger more offensive that AK's tasteless joke. His humor is lively, and is for the most part inoffensive (and least I hope so, but when it comes to the sensibilities of middle aged Englishmen and devout Christians I'm never really quite sure:rolleyes: ).
As you said, this is a public forum for all age groups and for all persuasions. If we find anything objectionable, let's object to it in a civil and tactful manner. Vitriolics are distasteful, even if they do tend to evoke apologies.
;).......... :cool:
Mullen
09-16-2008, 02:45 AM
;).......... :cool:
We mustn't forget Emily.
emily445455
09-16-2008, 02:48 AM
We mustn't forget Emily.
Nope don't forget me :D that would be the saddest day ever!
Frankly I find yours and POT's anger more offensive that AK's tasteless joke. His humor is lively, and is for the most part inoffensive (and least I hope so, but when it comes to the sensibilities of middle aged Englishmen and devout Christians I'm never really quite sure:rolleyes: ).
Yeah exactly, I don't appreciate being talked down to like a parent. Jayne, do you think you can get away with that in real life? Oh wait, I forgot I'm on a stuttering forum, that would never happen hehe. :o
So I defended someone, big deal. I didn't talk down to anyone, like you have to me. That was pretty rude. But of course you would never offer an apology, because you came into this thread to "kick " or whatever your intent was. But frankly, your skills need work. ;)
The thing I hate the most is holier-than-thou attitudes and bullying personalities. Yeah I said bullying.
Anyways, I think Happy would appreciate if we could help him with his problem, instead of at each other. I can just picture this whole situation in real life, with a bunch of stutterers. Comedy gold.
Mullen
09-16-2008, 02:13 PM
Kinda contradicting what you said earlier, aren't we?.
In my initial post I told AK that his post was in "poor taste". "Poor taste" and "tasteless" are hardly contradictory; rhetorically "tasteless" sounded a little better.
Oh dear, you really just don't have a clue do you. Does the flag flying next to my screen name, and my location mean anything to you?
I was responding to Jayne's comment.
I don't feel like wasting my time with the rest of your points.
Bill Hargis
09-16-2008, 02:50 PM
first of all, speech easy doesnt work if you get BLOCKS instead of traditional repetition stuttering, like me.Secondly, I think your boss is an ass and was laughing at you to try to score the new girl.Yes the speecheasy does work with blocks, I was the most severe blocker ever, and it made me fluent
Mullen
09-16-2008, 03:50 PM
How many men do you know called Jayne?
You got me there:D, but here in the States it is sometimes used as a last name.
My apologies to Jayne :). As for defering to the sensibilities of middle aged English women, that's an even tougher row to hoe.:D
I'm saying no more on the subject, like I said this is a public forum and it's our duty as mature adults to keep it respectable for all who visit. So these are my last words :p
Yes, it gets rather tiresome to argue. Happy, are you doing any better with your problem?
bignick
09-17-2008, 11:37 AM
Adam,
Have you done anything about this, come on give us an update.
Bill Hargis
09-17-2008, 03:35 PM
Whilst I would not use such devices, my curiosity is now aroused :p
Adam are you sure you've explored every avenue open to you in your quest for the Holy Grail? Errrr, I mean device :cool:
There must be a way you can get your mitts on one.
why do you call it the holy grail. I suffered through 62 years of severe stuttering, blocks, facial contortions, noise and the whole bit. Adam don't let this ridicule keep you from getting the device. I am now 69 and have enjoyed fluency for seven years and love it. I don't call it the holy grail, I call it a miracle. There is a 60 day moneyback guarantee.
why do you call it the holy grail. I suffered through 62 years of severe stuttering, blocks, facial contortions, noise and the whole bit. Adam don't let this ridicule keep you from getting the device. I am now 69 and have enjoyed fluency for seven years and love it. I don't call it the holy grail, I call it a miracle. There is a 60 day moneyback guarantee.
I wouldn't call it a miracle, either. I'm not sure why Happy is putting all his hopes and dreams into this one device to save him from daily humiliation. I stutter terribly, I would say, yet I have no interest in this "device". I have severe blocks, stuttering, facial contortions, noise, and whatever else you can throw at me. It's just another false solution to a problem that won't go away.
We're all here to help him, I've never talked to anyone else here who has counted on getting this device to save them. I just don't want him to be crushed when it doesn't work. What happens after he finds out it might not work? He's back to square one.
The only minor solution to our stuttering could be medication. Pagoclone sounds very interesting, in fact, I would be the first to get a prescription for it, even if I had to pay out of pocket (no insurance). Oh, and the obvious speech therapy, but it's expensive and I've gone through 12 years of it in when I was in school. I'm not really in the mood to do it again soon.
Happy, we're all here for you. But please don't put all your hopes into this. Life is cruel, and I've been crushed by disappointment before. By your screenname, I would think you are happy. But from the sound of it, this device is the only thing that could make you happy. Accepting yourself is the only way to truly live a happy life.
happy7117
09-17-2008, 11:27 PM
Stuttering is not bullshit, it's a part of who we are. It's just something we have to deal with.
People who hang up on you because you stutter are pieces of shit. You do not deserve to be treated like that, none of us do. Why blame yourself? It's just a part of you. It's something you can't change, but just reduce.
I've been hung up on when I call people, and laughed at when I answer the phone. What do I think of those people? I think of those people as ignorant piles of feces who do not deserve the time of day. I'm too good to deal with people like that.
You can spend all the money in the world to help you deal with your stuttering, but it won't change anything if you can't accept who you are, and stop belittling yourself. What happens when you spend the $5,000 grand or whatever it costs to get a "speech device", that is not reviewed by any medical board that I know of, and it doesn't work? You're out a lot of money and you set yourself up for disappointment.
If your boss was making fun of you, go up to him and tell him, it is harassment and he can get in serious trouble for it. The workplace should be professional, not a playground where people make fun of others.
You seem like a good person and all of us here know exactly how you feel. But you won't improve your stuttering until you accept yourself and don't look down upon yourself.
About the hanging up part. True, there are people who might hang up on us and do hang up on us. But should we think of them as shit if a person hang up on is.
I think we stutterers need to understand where that person who hangs up on us is coming from.
If I was a fluent person who got a call with someone on the end making funny noises and being barely able to say whatever I was trying to say, what would I do??
Without knowing what the problem was: if he stuttererd or had some unknown problem I was not aware of, what could I do??
Would I hang up on the person, would I ask "what is wrong", or ask "who's there"??
Fluent people are used to fluent speakers, so hearing a stutterer for the 1st time, or never hearing a stutterer untill the stutter calls, the listener might not know what to do or how to react in the situation.
If I answered the phone to a stutterer NOT knowing before hand the person stutterered, I would probably hang up.
A stutterer is not quick with the words as a fluent person is, so listeners on a telephone are not used to such a situation where a stutterer can't spit it out quickly.
If a stutterer calls a store, especialy a busy one, be prepared but not angry that you will get hung up on.
Why the stutterer stutterers trying to ask for info to a clerk on the phone, they may be handling other customers while they try to stay attentive to you....
Since a stutterer cannot spit out what it is, and a clerk is handling customers on and off a phone, they may not have "all the time in the world" to try to understand you. They cannot put the world and the store on hold to try to understand you.
Thus they will hang up. We should not be mad at them. Sure it may be uncourteous to hang up on a stutterer, but clerks or waitresses have many customers to take care of, while we are just 1 customer.
If I answered the phone not hearing anything, and had no idea what i was hearing on the other end, I would probably hang up.
As for the boss thing, I would never tell on him! I could get my ass busted. He's one of the big wigs anyway.
As for accepting myself. I accept myself, except the stuttering part of myself.
happy7117
09-17-2008, 11:33 PM
Well I dont think they're pieces of shit, I just think they dont understand what stuttering is. Like maybe they thought they got disconnected or something, I dunno, you know what I mean. It's not like they can see you talking and can see whats going on. Although there was one time when I stopped a woman walking by me and I began to ask her a question and I got stuck on a word and she just walked away. Now she was a piece of shit.
That may have been rude for her, but are you sure she just didn't know what you were doing?? She probably had to be somewhere and maybe didn't have the time to stop and wait for a simple question.
She probably hoped you would be quick with your question so she could be on her way, but the stutterering made her feel held up, so she walked away.
I would have just given her the benefit of the doubt.
If I answered the phone not hearing anything, and had no idea what i was hearing on the other end, I would probably hang up.
As for the boss thing, I would never tell on him! I could get my ass busted. He's one of the big wigs anyway.
As for accepting myself. I accept myself, except the stuttering part of myself.
I think the most important thing is to tell the person on the other end of the line that you stutter, it usually helps ease anxiety.
Get your ass busted for calling him out on making you feel bad? Don't be afraid to speak up. :) If he is a big wig then he should know not to make his workers feel uncomfortable.
You should accept every part of yourself. The stutter is a major part of yourself. It will go a long way towards helping you with your fluency.
One thing I noticed about you is you're quick to defend the non-stutterer, and make excuses for them. It comes off like we, the stutterer, are doing something wrong or should be apologetic for simply being who we are.
I don't mean to sound preachy, I hate people who are hehe. I just hate seeing people feel bad about themselves. :o
Bill Hargis
09-19-2008, 03:53 PM
I wouldn't call it a miracle, either. I'm not sure why Happy is putting all his hopes and dreams into this one device to save him from daily humiliation. I stutter terribly, I would say, yet I have no interest in this "device". I have severe blocks, stuttering, facial contortions, noise, and whatever else you can throw at me. It's just another false solution to a problem that won't go away.
We're all here to help him, I've never talked to anyone else here who has counted on getting this device to save them. I just don't want him to be crushed when it doesn't work. What happens after he finds out it might not work? He's back to square one.
The only minor solution to our stuttering could be medication. Pagoclone sounds very interesting, in fact, I would be the first to get a prescription for it, even if I had to pay out of pocket (no insurance). Oh, and the obvious speech therapy, but it's expensive and I've gone through 12 years of it in when I was in school. I'm not really in the mood to do it again soon.
Happy, we're all here for you. But please don't put all your hopes into this. Life is cruel, and I've been crushed by disappointment before. By your screenname, I would think you are happy. But from the sound of it, this device is the only thing that could make you happy. Accepting yourself is the only way to truly live a happy life.I still call it a miracle, fluency after 62 years of severe stuttering. It's not something I rushed into. When I first heard about it I called a high school friend who taught speech pathology in college. He told me that delayed auditory feedback concept had been used as a teaching tool since the sixties and had recently been condensed to fit in the ear. I contacted a provider who was also a slp and a stutterer who used the device himself. He had a dummy model in his office to try, we spent some time finding what sound and delay worked for me and I spoke fluently for the first time In my 62 years. I ordered one immediately after finding that I could get my money back in 60 days if I so desired. There was nothing to lose. Sure this device doesn't work for everyone but you know before you buy if it works for you. The patent should be running out soon. Then several companies will be making it and with competition it will be improved and the price will be under 900 bucks
I still call it a miracle, fluency after 62 years of severe stuttering. It's not something I rushed into. When I first heard about it I called a high school friend who taught speech pathology in college. He told me that delayed auditory feedback concept had been used as a teaching tool since the sixties and had recently been condensed to fit in the ear. I contacted a provider who was also a slp and a stutterer who used the device himself. He had a dummy model in his office to try, we spent some time finding what sound and delay worked for me and I spoke fluently for the first time In my 62 years. I ordered one immediately after finding that I could get my money back in 60 days if I so desired. There was nothing to lose. Sure this device doesn't work for everyone but you know before you buy if it works for you. The patent should be running out soon. Then several companies will be making it and with competition it will be improved and the price will be under 900 bucks
It's great that it worked for you, I bet it felt like the most wonderful feeling in the world to be fluent for the first time. But for people who have severe blocks, I've heard it doesn't. Even at $900 bucks, I still have issues with something that obviously sticks out from your ear. It would make me self conscious.
I think the only true way to reduce, not cure, your stuttering is medication and speech therapy. Two of things I am currently not involved in. But my stuttering probably isn't nearly as bad as some people's, I suspect, although to me it is the worst. I'm sure everyone can say their stuttering is better/worse than someone else's.
Bill Hargis
09-20-2008, 03:36 PM
It's great that it worked for you, I bet it felt like the most wonderful feeling in the world to be fluent for the first time. But for people who have severe blocks, I've heard it doesn't. Even at $900 bucks, I still have issues with something that obviously sticks out from your ear. It would make me self conscious.
I think the only true way to reduce, not cure, your stuttering is medication and speech therapy. Two of things I am currently not involved in. But my stuttering probably isn't nearly as bad as some people's, I suspect, although to me it is the worst. I'm sure everyone can say their stuttering is better/worse than someone else's.It looks like a small hearing aid, it does not stick out, it matches the hearing aid in my other ear. Most SLPs don't recognize it. They don"t want me fluent, they want the big bucks per hr for therapy. It was developed by SLPs www.speecheasy.com
Nate my friend, u know i got twin girls and they stutter also.
is it u or Bignick...i may be confused. Its obviously u...so does Big nick have twins?
and Eminem, (emily) no...it doesnt count.
I think the most important thing is to tell the person on the other end of the line that you stutter, it usually helps ease anxiety.
I agree with all your other points SST...but this one...if i cant muster "Hello", how the bloody hell am i supposed to say..."i stutter"?
I agree with all your other points SST...but this one...if i cant muster "Hello", how the bloody hell am i supposed to say..."i stutter"?
For me, talking on the phone is different when I make a call and different when I receive a call. When you make an important call sometimes it might help to just let them know, so you don't "freak them out" or something. :rolleyes: Usually hiding my stutterer makes it worse, but when it's out there I tend to be less obsessed over it. What ever helps, I say! :D
happy7117
09-21-2008, 02:32 AM
I wouldn't call it a miracle, either. I'm not sure why Happy is putting all his hopes and dreams into this one device to save him from daily humiliation. I stutter terribly, I would say, yet I have no interest in this "device". I have severe blocks, stuttering, facial contortions, noise, and whatever else you can throw at me. It's just another false solution to a problem that won't go away.
We're all here to help him, I've never talked to anyone else here who has counted on getting this device to save them. I just don't want him to be crushed when it doesn't work. What happens after he finds out it might not work? He's back to square one.
The only minor solution to our stuttering could be medication. Pagoclone sounds very interesting, in fact, I would be the first to get a prescription for it, even if I had to pay out of pocket (no insurance). Oh, and the obvious speech therapy, but it's expensive and I've gone through 12 years of it in when I was in school. I'm not really in the mood to do it again soon.
Happy, we're all here for you. But please don't put all your hopes into this. Life is cruel, and I've been crushed by disappointment before. By your screenname, I would think you are happy. But from the sound of it, this device is the only thing that could make you happy. Accepting yourself is the only way to truly live a happy life.
Why do I lean so heavily on wanting a device to help me??
Because when I can't talk right a.k.a stutter, I literaly can't say anything at all period.
No matter how patient a person will be(which as you all know I hate!), I still will not be able to get my message across.
I have tried speech therapy. But, what good is speech therapy if it is ineffective which it was for me.
I worked at it, but acheived unsatisfactory results which did not last. I believe that was an example of irony:p . Therapy was not effective as it should have been.
Why do I lean so heavily on wanting a device to help me??
Because when I can't talk right a.k.a stutter, I literaly can't say anything at all period.
No matter how patient a person will be(which as you all know I hate!), I still will not be able to get my message across.
I have tried speech therapy. But, what good is speech therapy if it is ineffective which it was for me.
I worked at it, but acheived unsatisfactory results which did not last. I believe that was an example of irony:p . Therapy was not effective as it should have been.
Well I'm sure my debating with you won't change your mind, so I won't comment further about the "devices". Just don't put all your hopes into it! Am I starting to sound like your parent? :o
Maybe therapy didn't work for you because you didn't want it to work for you? Therapy did work for me, one year. In 7th grade I was almost totally fluent. But something happened, and I went back to being really dis-fluent in 8th grade. By high school, I was a total and complete stuttering mess. I'm sure it had to do with my self-esteem, in fact I'm positive it did. I totally withdrew from everyone. I hated it, and I never went back to speech therapy after one of my later grades.
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