Job interview time - I'm frustrated!

[btomcik]

I posted my "story" on this website a few months ago, so I won't bore you all with it. Long story short - I was successful in my profession, which was construction project mangement as a professional engineer. This past year I've been a stay-at-home dad and now it's time for me to go back to work.

I sent out resumes last week and have had a couple phone conversations with potential employers as well as one interview in person. I was doing great with my speech up until I have to call people back to setup an interview or have a conversation over the phone and now my speech sucks. I'm getting all nervous again about calling people on the phone and when I do talk to them, introducing myself is so "terrifying", as most of you can probably understand.

Just called a woman back and did the usual ah's and um's before being able to say who I was and the lady laughed thinking I was just having "one of those days." That's what she said - "I see you're having one of those days like me."

You know, it didn't piss me off really but what the hell - I'm getting tired again of being afraid of the phone and situations. I refuse to let stuttering control me, my life or my career. I'm just so frustrated right now.

[Jamus]

Ah yes, I know about this all too well.
My stutter is moderate to severe, and it varies. I have many extended periods of time where my speech has been doing great, my confidence is high as a result and I feel like nothing can stop me.
Then... it hits. Like a brick wall. I have a bad speaking situation. From there it's like a chain reaction. I try not to let it get to me. But, somehow it does and I have another bad situation. Pretty soon I feel like I am totally relapsing and all my old fears bubble back up to the surface and I feel out of control and distressed. Which in turn makes my speech even worse.

It's happened so often though I have learned now to take it in stride. B/c I know eventually I will stutter badly and have a terrible speaking situation. It's inevitable. I just stand back up, brush myself off and walk head first into the fire again.
You can't look at it as a failure, but part of who you are, and while it is extremely frustrating to no end, it's not something that will control you and what you do in life.
Sorry for rambling, just throwing some thoughts out there :)

[sst]

I need to find a job soon, and it's probably one of my greatest fears. I've had 2 jobs my whole life, and those were after I turned 21. I was so scared going into the interview for my very first job. But I didn't stutter once at all, at the interview, or the call back. It went great. Of course, I stuttered at the job. But what made the job much easier, is being upfront about my problem and letting people know I do it. They were very gracious and helped out. It was a great job!

Typing this out, I'm wondering why I haven't had a job since 2006. I've been wasting my life doing nothing. Wow it just hit me! :D I shouldn't let fear control me, I guess. But it is rather overwhelming.

If it helps, I would recommend being with someone who doesn't make you stutter. I don't know if you're like me, but sometimes being around certain people makes me stutter less, some people more. When I did the interview and call back, I had talked to someone or was with someone when it happened. It really did help.

I wish there was some great advice I could give you, but this is all I know. :o I hope it helps! It's funny, I also stutter mildly to severe. I never know what it's going to be like.

[CCB]

Maybe you can practice calling people right before you make the "important" call. Go on the Dairy Queen website and look at their directory. There are hundreds of DQ's in every state that you can practice with.

[ak47oooo]

I've been wasting my life doing nothing. Wow it just hit me! :D I shouldn't let fear control me, I guess. But it is rather overwhelming.

I'm in the same place. I've had few jobs, been wasting my life away also doing nothing. And we're the same age too.... separated at birth?

[btomcik]

I think I'm going to have to remind myself to chill and take it easy when talking with people especially during the interview and to just slow down a little. I get so worked up and then try to talk fast and then get jumbled, then get more nervous, which leads to more stuttering.

I had speech therapy several years ago - I think I'll review some of the pointers I got in my sessions. They were helpful.

[sst]

I'm in the same place. I've had few jobs, been wasting my life away also doing nothing. And we're the same age too.... separated at birth?

I think so! :D Do you think it could've been a conspiracy? Maybe some mass-stuttering experiment to see how much shit we could take before we all go crazy. :o

Ak, do you ever get comfortable not doing anything? I do. Which is why I'm not doing anything. Comfort and being scared.

[Derek181]

try prolonging the vowels of the word, overall slow down your speech... also softly ease onto the first word of a sentence and blend the words in your sentences together. just a few pointers!!!

[ak47oooo]

sst, sure do. I hate the reality that I'll have to work every day for the rest of my life. hence procrastination.

And you might be more right than you think about the experiment thing. Sorry about the crappy scan
http://img181.imageshack.us/img181/7081/scan0003awx0.th.gif (http://img181.imageshack.us/my.php?image=scan0003awx0.gif)

[sst]

sst, sure do. I hate the reality that I'll have to work every day for the rest of my life. hence procrastination.

And you might be more right than you think about the experiment thing. Sorry about the crappy scan
http://img181.imageshack.us/img181/7081/scan0003awx0.th.gif (http://img181.imageshack.us/my.php?image=scan0003awx0.gif)

Wow Ak, you really are like my long lost brother or something. Isn't it weird how people can have the same experiences? Trippy! :D

I knew my conspiracy theories would come true eventually! Time to take off my tinfoil hat. :o

[youngm]

Hi all... I'm also actively looking for a new job as I feel it's time to move on from my current employer (of 9 years) and progress my career further.

I'm highly anxious about the whole interview process as I'm a stutterer also. Severity really fluctuates depending on the level of anxiety I'm feeling and the persona of the interviewer.

I've been on Lexapro for a few weeks to keep the anxiety at bay whilst I start my search and speak to agencies over the phone. That's not really my issue. My issue is the face to face interview! Scares the hell out of me!

I've been in IT for over 18 years and the last 9 years has been focused heavily on Information Security. I'm a certified CISSP and I know having this accreditation will open up many doors for me, however, I'm worried about the whole interview process.

I've come to the stage in my professional career where I want to be a Security Consultant or Architect, however, roles at this level are highly dependant on "excellent communications and presentation skills" and that, I fear, will be my greatest obstacle.

I'm extremely passionate about my profession, however, I really don't know how I'm going to really succeed at this profession being a life-long stutterer :(

[sst]

I'm extremely passionate about my profession, however, I really don't know how I'm going to really succeed at this profession being a life-long stutterer :(

Hey! I'm very jealous that you've found something you're passionate about! Great job, I hope I can find something I enjoy like you do. The only advice I can give you is, focus on how much you want to achieve your goals. Don't let anything stop you. If you can come right out and say you stutter, and let your employer know, they have to accommodate you. Focus on your strong points, which from the sound of things, you have many.

Oops, reading that back I suppose I should probably take my own advice. :o

[youngm]

If you can come right out and say you stutter, and let your employer know, they have to accommodate you. Focus on your strong points, which from the sound of things, you have many.

Oops, reading that back I suppose I should probably take my own advice. :o

Hi, thanks for the positive feedback.

The problem is, if you come straight out and say you're a stutterer, you're immediately focusing on your major weakness. In a role that requires significant collaboration with C-level Executives, I think (or at least I presume) the tolerance would be low for someone who struggles to get his/her point across effectively.

I can articulate concepts perfectly fine in reports and e-mails, however, when it comes to long winded oral explanations, I just crumble and fall in a heap.

Sometimes I really wonder whether this profession is for me and whether my pursuit for academic and industry certifications is worthwhile.

I believe in my strengths and expertise in my field, however, my inability to articulate ideas and concepts verbally is a major hurdle for me and I really don't know how I'll ever reach my career ambitions. I ultimately want to become a C-level Executive in the Information Security arena, however, this damn stutter is going to be my kryptonite!!! :mad:

When I attend Security Conferences, the only thought that cross my mind is "I wish I could stand up there and deliver a presentation like this guy! I know everything he knows, yet I'll never be able to present such material so effortlessly!!!".

Normal people don't appreciate the power they have in effortless speech :(

Sorry for the depressing rant...

[sst]

Sorry for the depressing rant...

Hey, rant away! :D Most stutterers are great writers, I consider myself one of them. Writing my thoughts out is the only way to express myself, really.

I would love to be able to debate people about issues in real life, I love to challenge my thoughts and perspectives on things. But I suppose I'll have to settle for ing about things on internet forums. :o

They say "don't let stuttering hold you back from your dreams" and whatnot, but it is truly difficult if you have dreams that involve tons of speaking or working with other people creatively. I suppose people will always view a stutterer as a "weak link" and not give us the respect we deserve.

[btomcik]

Update:

I had a phone interview on Monday with two guys from a potential employer. It lasted 62 minutes and went great. I was so nervous about the interview ahead of time that I was pacing around my house and getting tingling feelings in my arms and my face. The first minutes on the phone I could sense I was tense. I wrote down on a piece of paper in front of me in large capital letters - SLOW. I made an effort to slow down and talk about my qualifications and the topics at hand. My speech or stuttering was not a topic of discussion, so once I realized that things went great.

I also had another interview in person yesterday with an employer. Nervous at first, but I took my time and talked about my qualifications and things like that. Of course I blocked a couple times and said ah's and um's but I was concentrating on selling myself and I refused to let my speech derail me.

It looks like I'll be getting two offers to choose from - I'm so excited!

I guess I can offer to others worried about interviews as well that:
1) it's normal to be nervous and you can tell the interviewers that you are nervous
2) keep telling yourself you are qualified and successful and that you are going to sell yourself today and not dwell on your speech
3) concentrate on your qualifications and selling yourself - your stuttering is not who you are (it's a small part of you) and does not define you, your qualifications or your career
4) take deep breaths and smile

I have to go back for two second interviews but it looks like I'm going to get the offers. I'll be nervous again but I know that I can do well and I will do well.

For those interviewing, you can do it too. Believe in yourself, make yourself talk and don't dwell on your speech. I know it's easier said than done but you can do it.

Thanks all for your help. Many best wishes to you as well.