Ever notice this like I do?

[happy7117]

I have noticed this for as long as I can remember and it strikes me strange.

Have you ever heard a fluent person carry on a conversation with someone, and the listener sort of interjects or sort of finishes a word or thought as the speaker is talking. When I say speaker, I mean a fluent speaker.

If a speaker is fluent, the listener will sort of help out by filling in a word for the fluent speaker, not to be rude, but to sort of keep the conversation going.

Now doesn't it sound strange and very cruel sort of that listeners are told NOT to do this helping out stutterers by filling in thoughts or words even when the stutterer is stutterering???

If a stutterer is relatively fluent though, and not having much trouble, have you noticed anybody helping you out or filling in a word when you are having a relatively fluent day.

Shouldn't we be wanting this help and desperately needing this kind of help from listeners when we are stuttering nastily.

We hear that wrong and hurtfull advice of don't finish a stutterers words. Well why is it with fluent people, words get interjected by the listener when another is speaking fluent??

If anything the listener should be interjecting and helping with a stutterer???

Also, we should be patient with one who can speak fluently and those who can get words out easily as fluent people do.

Why are we supposed to be patient with stutterers who just can't talk hardly and take enormous amount of time???

It makes more sense to be patient and wait for a person who can SPEAK fluently. They have words that can be understood, so we should listen to what they have to say.

It makes a ton more sense to not have the patience with a stutterer because we take so much longer, and are messages do not come across understood.

Why should people assume stutterers will be able to say whatever they'd like???

That is seriously not the case with all stutterers like me.

Back to the original post:

Why do fluent people get interjected or words filled in as they are talking to another fluently???? Fluent people are getting help from the listener.

Stutterers are the ones that should be getting help from the listener, not fluent people. People that are fluent have no trouble communicating, so why should they get interupted with interjections by others?

Makes no sense to me.

[sst]

Now doesn't it sound strange and very cruel sort of that listeners are told NOT to do this helping out stutterers by filling in thoughts or words even when the stutterer is stutterering???

Wow, I think you really don't like your stutter. :D

I hate when people finish my sentences. I suspect most people on here do, as well. Why do you want people to help you finish your sentences? Do you think there's something wrong with you? People who finish your sentences think there's something wrong with you and are uncomfortable around you. Even if they mean well, it's annoying and rude. Notice how the people that know you well, don't finish your sentences? It's because they understand and accept you.

I've talked to other stutterers on the phone, I would never finish their sentences even if they were worse stutterers than I am. Because I respect them enough to let them complete their thought, because it's a basic human need to want to talk about things on our minds. Why should anyone think they know what we are going to say?

Happy, you really think there is something wrong with you because you stutter, don't you? :p

[emily445455]

Shouldn't we be wanting this help and desperately needing this kind of help from listeners when we are stuttering nastily.

I don't want it...even when I am stuck on a word for a long time.

When people finish my words/sentences for me, it makes me feel rushed...so then I stutter more. I am more relaxed, more fluent, and less annoyed when people just listen patiently.

[emily445455]

oops double post

[happy7117]

When people finish my words/sentences for me, it makes me feel rushed...so then I stutter more..

I don't understand. How can anyone stutter more if they are helped by others if they already stutter extremely bad without their help?

How does a listener make stuttering worse, when the stuttering is already at it's worst???

I am more relaxed, more fluent, and less annoyed when people just listen patiently.

We are from 2 different worlds here! Nothing wrong with that though.

Anyway I stutter more, am unrelaxed and more annoyed when someone IS patient and waiting for me to say what I am trying to say.

The more I stutter, the more I feel that they(the listener) are waiting for me to say what I know I cannot say.

[emily445455]

I don't understand. How can anyone stutter more if they are helped by others if they already stutter extremely bad without their help?.

Because I feel extremely rushed, which makes me nervous...which makes me stutter more.

[sst]

I don't understand. How can anyone stutter more if they are helped by others if they already stutter extremely bad without their help?

How does a listener make stuttering worse, when the stuttering is already at it's worst???

The more I stutter, the more I feel that they(the listener) are waiting for me to say what I know I cannot say.

Why should anyone assume they know what we are going to say? Why should they have to? Most people let others finish their thoughts, but because we're stutterers we have to have other people finish our thoughts for us? It makes me feel like a kid having someone do that. I'm not sure how you can feel good about someone finishing your thoughts for you.

The reason why we stutter more when people rush us is because it makes us feel like we are wasting their time. For me, it makes me feel like what I have to say is not important. Which leads to anxiety, which leads to more stuttering.

Happy, you come off like you think non-stutterers are better people than those who stutter. Why? I'm sure it's not your intent, but you are very apologetic towards non-stutterers, yet you seem to take the attitude that we as stutterers are doing something wrong.

[happy7117]

Wow, I think you really don't like your stutter. :D

The biggest and best understatement I have ever heard :)

I hate when people finish my sentences. I suspect most people on here do, as well. Why do you want people to help you finish your sentences?

Because no matter how hard I stutter, and get stuck, I can neve get anything out. And that destroys me completely. And knowing that somebody is waiting for me makes me stutter a ton more. Knowing that people still will not understand me even after I struggle so much, that's another blow to the self-esteem.

Will a listener drop everything and wait for a stutterer when they are doing something??

Probably not. Give listeners that don't have time to give us their full attention the benefit of the doubt.

Also, why do people think that stutterers will be able to say if they are just given a little patience??

That's sort of dumb. One can have patience of a saint, but the stutterer will still not be understood.


Do you think there's something wrong with you??

If you mean "something wrong with me", it's obviously the stuttering. If you mean "something is wrong with us", yes. We stutter. That's what's wrong with us. Stuttering is not talking right.


People who finish your sentences think there's something wrong with you and are uncomfortable around you. ??

They are trying to be helpfull, and to take all that agony from stuttering so much away from us. I think they already know that stuttering is what is wrong with us, so they help us. Look for those around us who are willing to help us. Not only with stuttering. With any disability.

Even if they mean well, it's annoying and rude.

It's not rude or annoying to be helpfull when a person may need help.

If a person was having trouble pushing their own wheelchair and could not push it at all, and another person offered to push it for them, would you refuse and say "I can do it myself" when you know you couldn't without their help??


Notice how the people that know you well, don't finish your sentences? It's because they understand and accept you.

You mean my parents?? They never help me at all when I stutter. Needless to say because of that my stuttering is always at it's worst because of that fact.

People that offer to help us while stuttering accept us and care about us as well. If they didn't accept us or care about what we were trying to say, they would walk away while we are stuttering.


I've talked to other stutterers on the phone, I would never finish their sentences even if they were worse stutterers than I am.

Are you saying, you would allow them to struggle and to not help when they just could not say what they were trying to say???


Because I respect them enough to let them complete their thought, because it's a basic human need to want to talk about things on our minds..

I respect those who have the courage to speak their mind, but I also appreciate those who help when that person may need help in doing so.

Why should anyone think they know what we are going to say?..

No one is a mind reader. If minds could speak and mouths could think, stutterers would have no trouble.


Happy, you really think there is something wrong with you because you stutter, don't you? :p

You just answered your own question:) The fact I stutter or we stutter is what is wrong with us.

Something is wrong if something is faulty. Stuttering is faulty talking, so that's wrong speech.

[happy7117]

Because I feel extremely rushed, which makes me nervous...which makes me stutter more.

How can a stutter get any worse from being rushed if it's already a worst case of stuttering ever??

[emily445455]

How can a stutter get any worse from being rushed if it's already a worst case of stuttering ever??

The severity of my stutter is very much based on outside factors. Right now I am stressed out about school...so my stutter is much worse than it usually is when I'm not stressed out.

When I feel rushed or the person is annoyed with my speech, my stutter gets worse because I get stressed out.

The severity of mine varies daily based on what is happening to me.

[happy7117]

Why should anyone assume they know what we are going to say? Why should they have to? .

If a listener can anticipate or know what we are trying to say, they are better able to help us. If they don't know what we are trying to say, we should have the option to write it. I mean that in a very helpful, non-condescending way.


Most people let others finish their thoughts, but because we're stutterers we have to have other people finish our thoughts for us?.

Yes. That's accepting help from others when we are having a nasty time talking.

I'm not sure how you can feel good about someone finishing your thoughts for you.?.

Having a person finish my thoughts make me feel relaxed, at ease, unfrusterated, and makes me stutter a ton less. I don't feel bad about it.

The reason why we stutter more when people rush us is because it makes us feel like we are wasting their time. .?.

If listeners think we waste their time, they can always walk away. Maybe they rush us, because they are busy, or have to get somewhere.


Happy, you come off like you think non-stutterers are better people than those who stutter..?.

Non stutterers are no better than us as a whole. They talk way better than us though.

I'm sure it's not your intent, but you are very apologetic towards non-stutterers .

Because I hate making others feel uncomfortable hearing the way I "talk". I often apologize for my stuttering in real life off the forum as well.

that we as stutterers are doing something wrong.

The only thing wrong about us is we stutter. I don't know how we are able to tolerate it day by day because I sure can't::eek:

[JDRow]

Adam, if you want people to finish words for you, you should tell them. It's not their fault if they don't, when that's what most stutterers prefer.

I've said before, I do appreciate it if somebody finishes a word for me that I'm really struggling, but I don't get annoyed or upset if they don't. They're being polite.

As frustrating as I find it when I can't say something and I know the other person knows what I'm trying to say but isn't finishing the word for me, it's more frustrating when somebody starts trying to finish the word for me the second I start stuttering.

[nate]

As frustrating as I find it when I can't say something and I know the other person knows what I'm trying to say but isn't finishing the word for me, it's more frustrating when somebody starts trying to finish the word for me the second I start stuttering.
and they get it wrong.
thats really annoying.:mad:

[sst]

and they get it wrong.
thats really annoying.:mad:

Yeah exactly! That's why I don't agree that people should finish our thoughts for us. People can't read out minds. :p

Happy, you seem like a nice guy. You, like the rest of us, have your own insights into this mystery we call stuttering. Debating with you about this is fun, but I'm super tired and sunburned. So, you win this round my friend! Til we meet again. :D

[happy7117]

Happy, you seem like a nice guy. You, like the rest of us, have your own insights into this mystery we call stuttering. Debating with you about this is fun, but I'm super tired and sunburned.

Nice?? You should have seen me at the NSA conference in Parsippany, NJ. I was a ball of over-friendly fire!!!

Aside from my strange perspectives and weird thoughts on stuttering, I love people and I try to avoid assholes weather they make fun of my stuttering, or weather they are just assholes in general.

You want tired?? Try going from 9:30am till 9:00pm at night shopping and eating out!! I did not shop from 9am- till 9:30, but I was on the go for that time.

My thoughts and perspective on stuttering may be very different and highly out of the ordinary for most here, and that's probably why many have disagreed with me.

My kind of stuttering is probably the most unusual kind of stuttering.

My stuttering gets far worse when listeners do what they think is the proper thing for stutterers.

For example: listeners are told not to help stutterers. That's fine for most. But for me, that rule makes my stuttering worse.

And another thing is, I hate having to make others uncomfortable hearing me stutter.

I think people who disagree with me is because they think this is just a guy(me) with a usual case of hard-core very severe stuttering.

A person would literaly have to be me for a whole day to see my own stuttering the way I see it.

But I appreciate all your thoughts.

[sst]

My kind of stuttering is probably the most unusual kind of stuttering.

And another thing is, I hate having to make others uncomfortable hearing me stutter.

I think people who disagree with me is because they think this is just a guy(me) with a usual case of hard-core very severe stuttering.

A person would literaly have to be me for a whole day to see my own stuttering the way I see it.

You have an interesting view about stuttering. But one thing I will say is each and every one of us thinks our stuttering is "the most unusual kind of stuttering". Every one of us has our own views and experiences that we base our opinion of stuttering on. We all think our stuttering is the worst ever, and some might stutter more than others.

I certainly have my fluent days, and horribly stuttering ones as well. A few days ago I talked to a stutterer on the phone, he had severe dis-fluency. He probably thinks his is the worst stutter ever. I really didn't have one block at all. He probably thought I was lying about my stuttering! But really, most of our stuttering is situational. It changes from experience to experience, person to person.

I could fill a book up with my horrible stuttering moments, and probably only fill a page up of my most fluent days. But that is how it goes, and it's important to roll with the punches.

[Standingtall]

You want tired?? Try going from 9:30am till 9:00pm at night shopping and eating out!! I did not shop from 9am- till 9:30, but I was on the go for that time.

now, now Adam no need to compete here. I could have longer hours than u have. LOL!!! Beside, we hardly see u anymore, now i know why. :D still want to go to hooters and have some hot wings?

[happy7117]

still want to go to hooters and have some hot wings?

No can do. Hooters closed last year:D

[mo885]

Happy you always talk about this! There are no set rules with stuttering if you want someone to finish your sentences for you go ahead. We don't care. The general public knows nothing about stuttering so they don't know that people that stutter don't want people to finish their sentences. If you don't like that if they finish what you are saying just let them it really doesn't matter.