Need some help for a 12 year old

[Tryingtohelp]

My son stutters and I would do anything I can to help him with this. He does speach therapy at school but it does not seem to be doing any good. There is a private speach therapist here I was thinking about taking him to. What do you think? Do the speach therapist know about any technics that help? Is there any good books I can buy that woould help?

Any help would be greatly appreciated. I have no clue what to try. Everyone kept telling me he would grow out of this by now but it is definately getting worse and it pains me to see him go through this.

Thanks.

[ysy]

Hello. I wish my parents were as concerned as you are now when I first stuttered at arounnd age 10. I heard that it is important to see a specialist speech therapist. As for which ones are good I'm not sure myself.

Anyhow, at 12 children begin to be more and more self-conscious, and I'm quite sure (others may correct me) that stuttering largely has something to do with being over-self-conscious. So try to encourage your son more and give him more self-confidence. I just don't think "he'll grow out of it" is a constructive comment at all - I didn't grow out of my stuttering which started more than 10 years ago. It's always best to deal with stuttering as early in one's life as possible. All the best.

[alok daga]

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[godmir]

I would say get some help right away. The sooner the better. I have heard that speech therapists do help sometimes, its worth a shot.

Also the reason i say do it ASAP is because as you getting old, stuttering because more a "mind" or mental problem. That would be wht "ysy" said about self conciousness. Then more factors are in play and it would be harder to break it down.

Wish him the very best. I didn't reason how a mother felt as a result of their sons stammering but i can now understand how helpless the mother feels. It must of been hell for my mum seeing her 3 kids stutter.

All the Best

[Tryingtohelp]

Thanks for the replies. I am setting up an appointment for this week. I will update after and let you folks how it goes.

[Iced Tea]

First of all, I want to commend you for your support of your son. It's hard enough growing up, being a stutterer just makes it worse.

Secondly, I recommend that you research and try therapists outside the school system. I went through a dreadful time in elementary school with a bad therapist. Years later, I found out she had more speech problems then I did and was a terrible teacher. Why she was employed as a speech therapist is still beyond me.

Thirdly, keep communicating with your son, he's the one you're helping, not you. Try not to push too much. Making your son nervous will make the stuttering worse. Let him take his time and say what he wants. Please don't try to complete his words by butting in. I know you are trying to help but he'll become self conscious and not want to talk to you about his stuttering or anything else.

Fourthly, don't shield him from difficult experiences. I know talking in front of a class, group situations, and talking to potential girlfriend/boyfriends are some examples of difficulties faced by many stutterers. But if the stutterer doesn't face these situations head on and overcome the anxiety, the pressure gets worse and worse as they grow up to the point where they design their life around avoiding such situations. I've recently come to realize I'm somewhat guilty of this.

Fifthly, maybe he should become a member here. When I was growing up, there was one other stutterer I knew through school but we never talked about being a stutterer. I think a forum like this would have helped me a lot.

Good luck. I hope some of my babbling made sense.

PS Make sure to remind your son that anyone who laughs at his stuttering problem isn't someone worth having as a friend.

[Flash]

My son stutters and I would do anything I can to help him with this.

I wish I had a parent like yourself!

My reasoning comes from a part I wrote about when I introduced myself earlier today. Here it is:

My parents can sometimes be really great and awesome, but many times I do wish that I had different people as parents. I get into many fights with them. My mom often makes fun at my stuttering by often mocking me and laughing at me. My dad doesn’t make fun at me, but he often does ask why I can’t talk better and says that I’ll be a failure at life and won’t amount to anything. When my mom hears him say those things, she usually joins in and starts to talk on and on about that crap. The funny thing is that my mom basically hasn’t done anything with her life either. Anyways, it’s easy to see that my parents don’t really support or encourage me. It really hurts me when they say those things, but I’m trying to use it to my advantage now by trying to prove them wrong and laughing in their face when I do accomplish something that they say I couldn’t do.

[Tryingtohelp]

First of all, I want to commend you for your support of your son. It's hard enough growing up, being a stutterer just makes it worse.

Secondly, I recommend that you research and try therapists outside the school system. I went through a dreadful time in elementary school with a bad therapist. Years later, I found out she had more speech problems then I did and was a terrible teacher. Why she was employed as a speech therapist is still beyond me.

Thirdly, keep communicating with your son, he's the one you're helping, not you. Try not to push too much. Making your son nervous will make the stuttering worse. Let him take his time and say what he wants. Please don't try to complete his words by butting in. I know you are trying to help but he'll become self conscious and not want to talk to you about his stuttering or anything else.

Fourthly, don't shield him from difficult experiences. I know talking in front of a class, group situations, and talking to potential girlfriend/boyfriends are some examples of difficulties faced by many stutterers. But if the stutterer doesn't face these situations head on and overcome the anxiety, the pressure gets worse and worse as they grow up to the point where they design their life around avoiding such situations. I've recently come to realize I'm somewhat guilty of this.

Fifthly, maybe he should become a member here. When I was growing up, there was one other stutterer I knew through school but we never talked about being a stutterer. I think a forum like this would have helped me a lot.

Good luck. I hope some of my babbling made sense.

PS Make sure to remind your son that anyone who laughs at his stuttering problem isn't someone worth having as a friend.

Lots of great ideas here. Thanks for taking the time.

I do just about everything you are suggesting. Especially, letting him finish all his sentences himself with no help. The shielding thing is the hardest for me, but you are right.

I did finally get into a speech therapist yesterday for the first time outside of school. I sat in during the first session and my son and I worth both very impressed with the therapist. She asked tons of questions and had him doing some excersises that really made a lot of sense. Of course insurance does not cover it, but it does not matter, this is something that is real important for all of us.

I will suggest these forums to him tonight and see if he interested.

Thanks again to everyone here and I will keep you posted.

Bill

[Tryingtohelp]

I wish I had a parent like yourself!

My reasoning comes from a part I wrote about when I introduced myself earlier today. Here it is:

Flash, I wish you great success with showing the people in your life how wrong they are.

Best of luck to you.

[Flash]

Flash, I wish you great success with showing the people in your life how wrong they are.

Best of luck to you.

Thanks for those comments

As for your son.....your doing the right thing by trying to help as much as you can. Maybe if my parents were as involved as you, I may have been a lot better off right now. My parents did take me to a few private speech pathologists/therapists outside the public schooling system, but they ended up costing way much, so I had to stop. In the time I spent with them, they didn't help me, but I did only go a few times and stuttering isn't one of those things that can be treated overnight. Good luck to you and your son and come back to tell us if his therapy is working!