Reality Check

[Stevelaz]

Stuttering sucks - we all know it does....That's the obvious bit out of the way.

Forums like this are useful as it provides a place for people who stutter to offer support and guidance to others.....

HOWEVER............

It seems as if all I am seeing lately is just general ing and whining...just moan moan moan...its getting all too NEGATIVE.

Attitudes need to change

Peoples perceptions need to change

I am hearing all the time about worries that other people think this, people think that, blah blah......well F*ck other people and what they think....trust me you will improve your speech.

If you have learned a technique, whether it be McGuire, Andrews technique, easy onset or whatever, YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO USE YOUR TECHNIQUE....dont feel guilty about it.

Devices - work for a few
NLP - may work for a few
Zyprexa/other meds - may work for a few
Hypnotherapy - may work for a few

DONT GET SUCKED INTO PAYING FOR "CURES" AND EASY FIXES.....its just con-artists getting desperate people to part with their cash.

This problem has been around for thousands of years, and if someone who says he has a cure for just $17 or whatever should be given the Nobel prize if he has found the answer - BUT HE HASN'T.

What it takes is a positive attitude and a technique that suites YOU and you will improve (not be cured, but you will improve)...

For me it was McGuire, for you it may be something else - Do what works for you.

Support your fellow stutterer, but dont pander to people and tell them what they want to hear all the time - WE NEED A REALITY CHECK SOMETIMES.

I work damn hard at my speech each day, and on the whole I am fluent most of the time, I am still a stutterer, but I am a recovering stutterer....dont let people roll over you because of how you speak....

I'm not a religious person, I dont believe that a miracle will happen and I will wake up one day cured of I pray hard enough.....work on your speech, and bit by bit, day by day all of YOUR hard work will pay off.

I hear too much about people avoiding situations and using tricks....if you avoid a situation or a word, it will be worse next time and just be harder to break the cycle..........go for it......say the feared word, if you stutter, so what, you did it and next time it will be easier, it may take 10/20/50 crappy efforts but you must nail these feared words until it is easy/boring to say it.

Get yourself a microphone - get a account and just call hotels and restaurants and shops and ask for things.....push out your boundaries..........go into shops and ask for things....people dont bite....most people I have spoken to are quite nice about it.

Make disclosures to people that you have a stutter and are working on your speech - people apreciate the honesty and it drops your fear.....I have had people shake my hand and hug me after such events.....it just takes COURAGE

Lets just be more positive

YOU KNOW IT MAKES SENSE.

[happy7117]

We can be whiny as we want to as this is the place to do it. Yeah, negative posts abound throughout the forum, but that is because we are telling it like it is. We do not make light our situations.

It's pretty hard to feel positive when stuttering makes one feel all negative.

[Stevelaz]

Happy - How did I know you would be the first to reply !!!!!!......and you indeed prove my point about negativity.

Rather than looking at the positives in my post and thinking "Yeah, if he can change, so can I"....its lets mention being negative AGAIN.

I stutter, we all stutter in here, we are all in the same boat...lets focus on being positive and making things BETTER.

How many of your 1800+ posts on here have been positive or not mentioned a device?.....I'm not having a go and you personally man, but it just hi-lights my point.

I wish you well, but things will not CHANGE until your head is in a different place.

[happy7117]

Don't worry- I have some good positive posts:D

It's just that no one will ever find them.

Maybe I would post more positive posts if the stuttering wasn't so shitty

You want to help me start thinking positive me...

Loan me $2,000 so I can buy a device. I think I'm teasing of course.

All who post about getting sick of my whining must have stuttering that is far eiaser to deal with...

I have a great idea!

Why don't I call someone on the forum to show them how my shitty stuttering measures up to theirs.

[Paranoid]

What happy is doing is speaking the blunt and honest truth... stuttering is war with ones self! It is a constant fight of morale and character and it forces you into isolation with deep manic depression. Stuttering is the definition of anxiety. Nerve wrecking social situations. Nothing positive can be said about it. It is mental ing hell. The devils tool.

[Ayman]

hes right, happy im kinda dissapointed in this forum because when i joined up, the 1st thing i see is you ing (no offense) and it really makes someone depressed when they read the forums let alone ure post,, we sympathize with you, but seriously were all just like you. im with stevelaz, things have to change, 1st up is attitude, as you can see ive been really really helpful around the froums by encouraging people and providing help, and in my real life i started to stop at what other people think and also started to face up to my fears (aka go order stuff, do errands go to peoples houses etc) F*** the system :D

[Ayman]

sorry for double posting but if were going thru the same thing as happy, why do we want to read about it, isnt this forum about helping each other, supporting each other and providing help and encourgment and like ummm things that reduce stuttering

[happy7117]

What happy is doing is speaking the blunt and honest truth... stuttering is war with ones self! It is a constant fight of morale and character and it forces you into isolation with deep manic depression. Stuttering is the definition of anxiety. Nerve wrecking social situations. Nothing positive can be said about it. It is mental ing hell. The devils tool.

Your my man Paranoid! Were cut from the same cloth!!

[happy7117]

F*** the system :D

That's the best quote I have heard all day!

Stuttering can kiss my ***!

[Ayman]

then its setteld mate, try to be more positive and stop caring of what other people think (thats the system controlling you man hahah) its very hard, i know but trust me, if u try it then your stuttering will decrease slightly, but you will definatly feel lighter inside

[Stevelaz]

Paranoid - rather an apt name for a stammerer...as we are all paraniod what other people think of us.

You kind of missed my point - I said at the start of the thread that stuttering sucks........of course it sucks...........its shitty to stutter, we all know that....my point is that if we bombard our minds and other peoples minds with just negative thoughts it will make it worse.

I've never done a happy dance and sang "Oh I am so lucky I stutter"....But i've tried to steer away from going too far the other way too ...........I have had days where I could not utter my name without going through bad spasms and ticks and looked retarded, so I KNOW how bad it can be, believe me...

BUT.....

We must TRY and be positive about what we CAN achieve with this problem.....I have met people who have had severe stutters that are now eloquent speakers and very succesful people.....and its all down to their attitude and how they deal with it.

If you want to lay down and die and let it beat you.....you will lose to it...Its a self fullfilling prophecy

Ayman - thanks for the support man, much apreciated......Keep up the good support and attitude my friend.

[Paranoid]

Paranoid - rather an apt name for a stammerer...as we are all paraniod what other people think of us.

You kind of missed my point - I said at the start of the thread that stuttering sucks........of course it sucks...........its shitty to stutter, we all know that....my point is that if we bombard our minds and other peoples minds with just negative thoughts it will make it worse.

I've never done a happy dance and sang "Oh I am so lucky I stutter"....But i've tried to steer away from going too far the other way too ...........I have had days where I could not utter my name without going through bad spasms and ticks and looked retarded, so I KNOW how bad it can be, believe me...

BUT.....

We must TRY and be positive about what we CAN achieve with this problem.....I have met people who have had severe stutters that are now eloquent speakers and very succesful people.....and its all down to their attitude and how they deal with it.

If you want to lay down and die and let it beat you.....you will lose to it...Its a self fullfilling prophecy

Ayman - thanks for the support man, much apreciated......Keep up the good support and attitude my friend.

Yeah, yeah... keep it positive...:cool:

[Stevelaz]

Paranoid

It's more than just being positive, as I've said a few times, its about people getting off their and doing something about their speech as well..

IF someone has given it their all and tried all they can and still failed - FINE.....moan and .....

[Paranoid]

Paranoid

It's more than just being positive, as I've said a few times, its about people getting off their and doing something about their speech as well..

IF someone has given it their all and tried all they can and still failed - FINE.....moan and .....

Yes I agree, you need to motivate yourself to atleast make an attempt to correct the disease but why not then try a device instead to save you the time?

[sst]

In my experience, negativity destroys you and of course your stuttering will be affected. Have a good outlook on life tends to make stuttering less of a consuming ordeal.

The posts I read on here are generally great, but I do say Happy sticks out for most negative posts. ing feels good and I do it, we all do it. But the reason why we is to solve our problems. Happy, you don't seem to want to help yourself. I mean we're a bunch of people on the internet, there's not much we can do. You have to do it yourself. People never held my hand, they were pretty brutally honest when I was growing up. It hurt but it also helped me.

Paranoid and Happy's attitudes are the typical American (or Canadian) attitude of quick-fixes and not really putting any effort into anything. I mean we're really at the point where walking or doing anything that would make you break a sweat is considered bad. Weight loss in a pill? I lost almost 200 pounds by working my ass off. I didn't sit around and wait for a device to save me from my fat-assedness. It won't work for stuttering, either.

[Paranoid]

In my experience, negativity destroys you and of course your stuttering will be affected. Have a good outlook on life tends to make stuttering less of a consuming ordeal.

The posts I read on here are generally great, but I do say Happy sticks out for most negative posts. ing feels good and I do it, we all do it. But the reason why we is to solve our problems. Happy, you don't seem to want to help yourself. I mean we're a bunch of people on the internet, there's not much we can do. You have to do it yourself. People never held my hand, they were pretty brutally honest when I was growing up. It hurt but it also helped me.

Paranoid and Happy's attitudes are the typical American (or Canadian) attitude of quick-fixes and not really putting any effort into anything. I mean we're really at the point where walking or doing anything that would make you break a sweat is considered bad. Weight loss in a pill? I lost almost 200 pounds by working my ass off. I didn't sit around and wait for a device to save me from my fat-assedness. It won't work for stuttering, either.

Ok hold on poster boi, in all due fairness you do make sense but did you not say in your previous post somewhere that it was ok to express your opinion to the fullest on this forum??? if you dont like it then dont bother responding, douche:o

[sst]

Ok hold on poster boi, in all due fairness you do make sense but did you not say in your previous post somewhere that it was ok to express your opinion to the fullest on this forum??? if you dont like it then dont bother responding, douche:o

Coming from someone who tries to get women on an internet message board, do you really think I'm the douche? ;)

Nothing can stop Happy from doing what he wants, rationality or otherwise. That is his choice.

[Paranoid]

Coming from someone who tries to get women on an internet message board, do you really think I'm the douche? ;)

Nothing can stop Happy from doing what he wants, rationality or otherwise. That is his choice.

Its funny bag...

[happy7117]

Yes I agree, you need to motivate yourself to atleast make an attempt to correct the disease but why not then try a device instead to save you the time?

Thanks for the agreeable inspiring thoughts Paranoid.:D

[happy7117]

I just found something positive!!!

Watching others quarrel on the forum, and stating their opinion about me when they don't even know me personaly.

That's funny! :D

[happy7117]

Nothing can stop Happy from doing what he wants, rationality or otherwise. That is his choice.

Darn right big guy! I am stubborn as a mule. I have been that way for years.

[sst]

Darn right big guy! I am stubborn as a mule. I have been that way for years.

Do you think being that way has really helped you? ;)

[Host of Chaos]

sst u really think u got all the answers dont u?why dont u get off happys back?ok he goes on sumtimeds but he never gets mad at folks or does he have a go at folks or does he hide behind a keyboard pretning 2 b sumbody he isnt.
unlike a lotta folk on here.give him a break all u folk

[bolo]

Stop it !
Stop it right now.. the lot of you!


For what its worth I agree it's not nice seeing a lot of negativity on here frequently (not point ANY fingers) however I can understand that this is a good place to vent when you need to. And we all need to from time to time so we gotta let people let of steam. That said if someone does a post which can have a positive impact on others, then unless we have something really constructive to say we should also consider carefully before making a negative post whether its really necessary.

Japan Four !

[sst]

sst u really think u got all the answers dont u?why dont u get off happys back?ok he goes on sumtimeds but he never gets mad at folks or does he have a go at folks or does he hide behind a keyboard pretning 2 b sumbody he isnt.
unlike a lotta folk on here.give him a break all u folk

He wanted our opinions, should we lie to him? How will not telling him the truth be helpful?

I never said I had all the answers, I just tell it how I've experienced it. ;) You know, which is the whole point of this place, to help each other. If some people want to post their thoughts, without getting others opinions, then they should start a blog.

[Jimmy169]

Original poster, well said I fully agree with you. Negativity only leads to more negativity, it really is contagious (sp?). When you do a search on depression the first thing you may find is that depressed people hanging around with other depressed people is the worst thing they can do, they have to find people upbeat to get their mind off of it, all this negativity doesn't solve anything.

[Jeff99]

it's very simple

if you do what you have always done you will get what you have always got!

people post helpful tips all the time on this site it just up to the poeple asking for this help to actually try them. i know what people will say next i don't have $$ or time etc. not everything cost money try smiling being postive postive thoughts etc all free. read outloud to yourself, try some of the breathing exercises posted. i like the telling your "i like myself" ten times an actually meaning it, it's great for the self esteem

anyway poeple in the end make they're own choices they can pick to try something new or stay where they are.

try this one thing look up at the ceiling an smile you will feel like an dill but you will have to laugh, laughter is always good