Need Help!!

[doogle2k]

Ive being a stutterer all my life and im fed up at this stage!Im 27 now and I still fear asking for things,talking on the phone and all social occasions.Im sick of the anxiety and Im willing to try anything to control it.I did speech therapy in my teens without luck and also tried hypnosis which was a waste of money.Now im going to talk to a GP about medication cos i want a normal life without anxiety.

Anybody go to there GP bot the problem?did they help?

[cotton]

Hi Doogle. Where did you get your speech therapy? Same age as you and fed up with it too. I'm trying to find a job now where I don't need to speak much but doesn't look like it exists. :) Frustrating. Did you check out the Dopamine thread?

[doogle2k]

hey cotton!Im from dublin and I did my therapy in government run hospital!The therapy was so useless.it involved 20 or so people making fools out of themselves and I actually felt worse afterwards.I honestly dont think I will ever be cured from this but I believe with medication it can be controlled.I just wanna be normal.

Keep updating mate!!!

[cotton]

Was it free? How did they make fools of them? Will you keep us updated too on your medication experiment? I'm more happier on my propranolol than without it. Anxiety is a killer. :(

[doogle2k]

Was it free? How did they make fools of them? Will you keep us updated too on your medication experiment? I'm more happier on my propranolol than without it. Anxiety is a killer. :(

Yep the treatment was free because I was under 18 and still at school!

When I say they made fools of us I dont mean it litreally.They just gave us all false hope and It was defo a waste of time.

Still debating bot the medication.Must consult my girlfriend too!

Did you have that problem were you goto start a conversation and den you just block and nothing comes out?would the medication help dat?

thanx for all your replies and the private message!

Im glad its helping you!!Life is for living,not for hiding!!

[cotton]

I have problems mostly with blocks rather than repetitions. But I have both. I think it's working for me. Today I was mostly fluent though I still struggle getting words out, just now the pauses are much shorter. Then there are moments today when I had total fluency. But I'm still having trouble talking for long periods of time. I go back to stuttering.

Yes! consult with your gf for um... ual side effects. hehe..

"Life is for living,not for hiding!!"
Man, you ARE SO RIGHT. :D

[happy7117]

Read my reply under the thread::

How can those who don't stutter better understand?

Im 27 also and got another disparging remarkk--
I would like a fluency master but dont have the money- but my
desperation is so high-- i cant stand it...ive been suffering too long

What about all this "wait till stutter is done speaking"!!

What is that supposed to mean??

In our fun world we get interupted, left out,
and people told to wait for stuttering obviously
"pretend to listen".. but in reality do not understand whatever the stutterer is attemping to say...so being patient for a stutter makes a listener feel tense and impatient, and they want to fill in words for a stutter...

I dont blame em for wanting to fill in our words, or wanting to interupt us..

At my job in an office, I get told to "zip it"- you have no idea how much that makes me mad--while everyone jokes around idly as they work and I get told to zip it...it's the stuttering of course- If i stutter
i can't work in an office because office staff have to be good clear communicators....

So as I work in the office _ they make me "zip my lip" as
a cover up obviuosly so my stuttering does not make them look bad...

Oh yeah-- I started working in 1999--!!!

You can guess since i started if i've been
promoted to a better position in the office???

No -- and it most likely will not happen because of the stutter....

Feel free to add your thoughts to my anger and frusteration....

[Flash]

Read my reply under the thread::

How can those who don't stutter better understand?

What reply? :confused: I don't see any reply in that thread from you! The only people I see who posted in that thread are fahima (creator), Bobby, cotton, and me (Flash). Is it just me? Sorry, but I'm confused! :confused:

[cotton]

At my job in an office, I get told to "zip it"- you have no idea how much that makes me mad--while everyone jokes around idly as they work and I get told to zip it...it's the stuttering of course- If i stutter i can't work in an office because office staff have to be good clear communicators....

I’m sorry, happy. That sure sounds like discrimination and employee abuse! Being angry sure makes stuttering worse as I can imagine. Not very helpful in being productive! Is there anyone who you can report this to??

Being a female stutterer myself I think I get more pity than male stutterers and don’t get made fun of much. I usually get “Aw you don’t need to be nervous with me!” when talking to customer service on the phone. I was told I looked “cute and dainty” when I stutter. But the problem is the same in finding jobs or being promoted, when you need to communicate on a daily basis. Not all, but a lot of well paid jobs require A personality go getters. And communication is something like what you say is 10% -- HOW you say it is 90% along with body language. I can’t blame the industry for wanting better speakers. I’ve met some stutterers who lead meetings and manage teams. I didn’t have the chance to ask them how they got to that point. At least today the use of internet creates jobs with little oral communication. 

Have you ever laughed at how you sound when you stutter? I make funny repetitions sometimes, I know the listener’s trying to bite a lip from laughing. Then I crack up laughing at myself.

I’m feeling you on the desperation. I’m feeling stuck myself and willing to put myself up as a ginea pig for experiments. *sigh* How to get from point A to point B? hmm…

[Andrew]

To make non-stutters better understand our situation I told them to picture the most embarrasing feeling ever they had in their life. Then I told them to feel that feeling everything they had to talk... ordering Pizza (which I do over the web because I dont have to talk), ordering food thru a drive-thru, answering the phone, identifying yourself at school or work... etc. I told them to bring back the feeling of embarrasment they had before, and apply it in any role in which they need speaking. Maybe it worked.... I hope it did. If someone could think of a better way, tell me, I'd love to give it a shot.

[happy7117]

To make non-stutters better understand our situation I told them to picture the most embarrasing feeling ever they had in their life. Then I told them to feel that feeling everything they had to talk... ordering Pizza (which I do over the web because I dont have to talk), ordering food thru a drive-thru, answering the phone, identifying yourself at school or work... etc. I told them to bring back the feeling of embarrasment they had before, and apply it in any role in which they need speaking. Maybe it worked.... I hope it did. If someone could think of a better way, tell me, I'd love to give it a shot.

Imagine trying to saying a tongue twister
very fast making mistakes--

And those tongue twisting mistakes-- think
of them as not obvious flubs but as muscle spasms,
repetitons, and nervousness about trying to say
the tonguetwister right....and before one speaks,
remember the embarrasment you had in speaking a toungtwister with all those blocks and facial tics--
and the embarrasment gives you the fear of doing it again in regular speech.so you avoid it......and that cycle goes on 24-7

[happy7117]

I’m sorry, happy. That sure sounds like discrimination and employee abuse! Being angry sure makes stuttering worse as I can imagine. Not very helpful in being productive! Is there anyone who you can report this to??

Being a female stutterer myself I think I get more pity than male stutterers and don’t get made fun of much. I usually get “Aw you don’t need to be nervous with me!” when talking to customer service on the phone. I was told I looked “cute and dainty” when I stutter. But the problem is the same in finding jobs or being promoted, when you need to communicate on a daily basis. Not all, but a lot of well paid jobs require A personality go getters. And communication is something like what you say is 10% -- HOW you say it is 90% along with body language. I can’t blame the industry for wanting better speakers. I’ve met some stutterers who lead meetings and manage teams. I didn’t have the chance to ask them how they got to that point. At least today the use of internet creates jobs with little oral communication. 

Have you ever laughed at how you sound when you stutter? I make funny repetitions sometimes, I know the listener’s trying to bite a lip from laughing. Then I crack up laughing at myself.

I’m feeling you on the desperation. I’m feeling stuck myself and willing to put myself up as a ginea pig for experiments. *sigh* How to get from point A to point B? hmm…

I dont think it's employee abuse or descrimination
but it's definately "special treatment"-- which
makes me feel like I'm singled out....which is as bad...

[stayathomemom]

happy I have a 51 yr old friend who suffers with those very same facial tics that you mention along with severe blocks and body tremors. He has a very severe stutter but he doesn't let him get him down he lives his life and keeps himself happy knowing he is loved by family and friends who accept him as he is. Its not his stutter that people love or admire about him its what is on the inside and if ou have the confidence people will see past the stutter and see the real you.

[happy7117]

happy I have a 51 yr old friend who suffers with those very same facial tics that you mention along with severe blocks and body tremors. He has a very severe stutter but he doesn't let him get him down he lives his life and keeps himself happy knowing he is loved by family and friends who accept him as he is. Its not his stutter that people love or admire about him its what is on the inside and if ou have the confidence people will see past the stutter and see the real you.


To stayathomemom::

Well it's hard for someone to get to know one thatstutters in such a way that is totally terrible--
speech is the way we get to know others- and
nasty problems with it makes others drawn away because it's so nervewracking and not usual..

The stutter I think makes the other one insecure, edgy, nervous, and they do ignore ya-- it's hard to look past a stutter when it's always the stutter or complete stuttering madness, and when there's total stuttering madness- it's about impossible to know what the person is saying..

I mean just the other day I tried to ask a great friend of mine out-- and i stuttered quite heavily, and I
know for a fact she did not understand me-- I could
not understand myself..and yes i tried to many therapy things in the past with no success..so
I did not make any headway in making a fun clear conversation with her...

She is the nicest person-- and all this stuttering
makes it intensely frusterating getting to know her....

If one can't speak right, how can one fall in love!!

I've been on this board to many times-- and been through so much hell already--

One day I feel like all the stuttering will make me snap and do something I will not like---

[Andrew]

One day I feel like all the stuttering will make me snap and do something I will not like---

Been there. I know you won't believe me now, but things will get better. Now matter how bad it gets things always have a way of working themselves out. :)

[Flash]

One day I feel like all the stuttering will make me snap and do something I will not like---At home, I have a short temper. When i'm outside of my home, i'm kinda the opposite and it takes a lot to get me mad.

I've been teased and made fun of a lot and i've always wanted to punch/beat up the people who were doing it. So far, i've never done those things and i'm surprised that I haven't. It's probably thinking of the consequences that stops me.

I've wondered if one day someone will actually make me so angry that it'll make me not care about any consequenes and do one those things.

[sloth]

I've been teased and made fun of a lot and i've always wanted to punch/beat up the people who were doing it. So far, i've never done those things and i'm surprised that I haven't. It's probably thinking of the consequences that stops me.

I've wondered if one day someone will actually make me so angry that it'll make me not care about any consequenes and do one those things.

I have come so close to beating the crap out of people that it wasn't even funny. I think it was a good idea for me to switch to homeschooling part way into highschool because i was afraid that one of those people would be one of my friends. In elementary school i became the bully for this reason. No good reason for being a bully i guess, but i'm not anymore so hopefully all is well.