Moving out

[Blueberrypie]

Hi guys, it's been a long time since my last thread.

Yesterday I moved out of my house, it's not considered as a real moving-out since I am only moving into my friends house (on a basis on $20/wk for electricty and water, I have some savings to buy food) on a temporary base, but to me it's still a big enough deal to have been decided by my self instead of my parents.

Basically what happened was that I could no longer stand the complaints I keep hearing from my dad. All his negative comments about me being a slacker (since he has no idea what I am going through and I know he wouldn't consider stuttering/ self confidence issue a valid enough reason for not spending time working). calling me names, pulling dissapointed faces, all of those things that doesn't help me but only makes me feel down. And since the most improtant thing in my life irght now is my Masters next year, I really need to be able to put all my concentration on myself. I left my house with a note saying that I cannot find the environment in which I need to focus on my studies and myself and so I have to live elsewhere for now and may go back once I feel better.

I must say that even though I am glad to be away from my dad I still miss home and my mum, but then it's better than having someone looking down at you everyday as if you're some worthless piece of waste. At the same time I am also afraid that my dad will come by anytime and throw a big fit at me since he can get pretty hysterical, not to mention the emotional pain he might cause me. But so far my parents doesn't seem to have been trying to contact me, may be they haven't found the note?

I also found these articles from the net a few days ago:

http://www.mnsu.edu/comdis/kuster/Infostuttering/steringdies.html

http://www.mnsu.edu/comdis/kuster/Infostuttering/recovered.html

I know it has been posted on the forum a few years back, but personally I found this very englightening so for those of you who hasn't read it hopefully this will bring you al some new insight :)

[sst]

Hey, I wish you good luck with you living on your own. Trust me it helps you refocus on who you are and what you want to do. It's scary as hell being on your own, especially if you stutter. I did it for about a year, living in a big city. It was an adventure. I'll get out on my own again someday, I hope.

[thatCALIdude]

good for you man, i know how it feels to be treated like that. i always wanted to work but never could cause my speech was so bad then in the past year i started working myself. good luck to you, get your masters!

[Count]

I feel sorry for you for having a father like yours. If I would have a daughter some day I could never treat her like this.

[Blueberrypie]

Thanks guys, yeh my parents are complicated people, sometimes they also seem normal, it's hard adjust to their personalities and lifestyles. But I figured I should start living my own life and follow my path. So far the flat has been great, I'm living with some good friends nd I'm feeling pretty positive. I still have to contact my parents since I know they're proabably looking for me right now, I'll get on with that eventually, probably tonight.

But the articles in which I found has really been of great help, I can feel my mentality changing already, just gotta keep on pushing forward, asking questions and do more pondering :)

[Scott1]

I envy you, I'm 34 and I cannot even find a decent enough paying job to get out on my own, I'm still at home and my mother and I don't get along to well and I think that affects my speech.

Hopefully, with GODS prayers I can get a place soon.

[agantx]

I envy you, I'm 34 and I cannot even find a decent enough paying job to get out on my own, I'm still at home and my mother and I don't get along to well and I think that affects my speech.

Hopefully, with GODS prayers I can get a place soon.

Hi

Instead of envy, try feeling anger that you are in this situation. Use this anger to prove to yourself and everyone that you can get out of this situation with a lot of hard work.

If you are still scared to talk to new people and still hide your stuttering, then talk to as many new people as possible, tell them that you stutter and use fake stuttering to destroy your sensitivity to your stuttering. At the same time I also suggest for you to practice for at least one hour each day speech rules or techniques. They are taking a full breath before speaking, easy onset and pull-out rule. You don't need to go to a speech therapist to practice them if you can't afford to go to one. You can do it on your own at home. With time you will get your stuttering under control and won't be afraid to speak to new people. At the same time if you want to move out ASAP, find a roommate. By sharing costs with a roommate or better yet a friend you will be able to afford living on your own. Besides it will be much more fun to live with a friend than with your mother! ;)

[DKoz]

Parents who have children these days are more sensitive to their kids feelings then are parents who were born back in the 40's or 50's like mine. Mine were born in the 40's in Europe during WW2, so they learned how to be tougher. So my parents are tough but they are fair, in my opinion.

Do you have any siblings you can talk to? Maybe they can talk to your parents on your behalf...