View Full Version : Problems in High School...
Hello all! I have been stuttering ever since I was about 7 years of age. I am currently in high school and cannot take it any more. I am extremely stressed out and depressed because I have hardly any friends and everybody makes fun of me when I stutter (like laughing, mocking, mimicking). I basically dred getting up each morning. The only release I get is when I play sports or spend time with my family. I have been to speech therapists tons of times, but I don't improve any. Oh, I also just asked this girl out that I have had a crush on for about two years, and she just laughed right in my face. What should I do to get better or not care so much?
sloth
09-23-2005, 05:04 AM
Hey sg88,
I went to high school for 2 years and homeschooled after that. I moved to a different school in grade 7 and then continued to a different highschool in grade 8. I know what kids are like, and most of the time its not good. My stutter is almost completely unnoticable, so most people don't catch on. But the ones that do never let me forget it. I was lucky enough to find a couple great friends, and also to have an older brother that everyone feared :rolleyes: . They also feared me, but i dont really know why. I was always so afraid of people hearing me stutter so i avoided it in anyway possible.
In grade 8 i was assigned a project that I was allowed to choose any topic that has an affect on people. Stuttering was my subject of choice. After doing all the research on it and actually looking into the details and statistics of it, I guess i became a bit more proud than embarrased. I also learned that Lewis Carroll (author of Alice in Wonderland...ect.) had a stutter along with many other brilliant people; so that helped a bit aswell :rolleyes: . The project had to be presented orally, and this was the one point of the presentation where I had everyone attention. I expected some laughs and a few stupid comments, but to my surprise I got nothing but supportive ideas and general questions of curiosity. This was a big deal for me and it turned out to be a very positive experiance.
All i can really suggest, is to try to train yourself to be confident and use it as a trait rather than a disability. I know this is almost impossible and it can't be held up at all times, but in some cases in does come in handy.
The best friends you can find in a high school are very rarely in the "cool" crowd. If you look down the hallway in front of the lockers or sitting in the stairwell, or the ones paying each other to eat weird things, that's where i found the best people ;) .
High school is definatly not everything, if but anything it just sucks most of the time. Hope this helps a bit; best of luck with it all, and take care. :)
stayathomemom
09-23-2005, 01:07 PM
I am sorry you are teased and mistreated due to your stutter. I would be glad to be a friend if you would like. I am 32 and I have friends who stutter so I know the fears that you feel cause I see those same fears in them.
Flash
09-23-2005, 09:31 PM
Hi sg88 and welcome to the forum!
I went through recently and still am going through the same things you are going through right now. I finished high school and just recently started college.
Hello all! I have been stuttering ever since I was about 7 years of age. I am currently in high school and cannot take it any more. I am extremely stressed out and depressed because I have hardly any friends and everybody makes fun of me when I stutter (like laughing, mocking, mimicking). I basically dred getting up each morning.
I started to stutter around 8 or 9 years old.....kinda around the same time as you. All schools in general, but especially high schools, can really be cruel to people who they do not consider "normal." Sadly to say, theres not much you ,or anyone else, can do to change everyone's stereotypical minds so your just going to have to deal with it the best you possibly can.
In terms of friends, i'm in the same situation. Theres plenty of people I might talk to on a daily basis, say "hi" to, have a quick conversation, hang out for just a little, etc. But all of those things are just attributed to going to school and athletics. However, when it comes to having friends that I talk to regularly and/or hang out with regularly.....well, I have none of those types of friends. :( Yes it's sad, but i've grown to deal with it over the years.
The only release I get is when I play sports or spend time with my family.
I think i'm the most social when i'm doing sports or school-based athletics. Those times are usually when i'm the happiest.
I have been to speech therapists tons of times, but I don't improve any.
The ones in public schools didn't help me. The private ones didn't help me either and I only went to them a few times because they started getting expensive.
Oh, I also just asked this girl out that I have had a crush on for about two years, and she just laughed right in my face.
I'm sorry she laughed in your face. Nothing you can do to change her mind I guess. Best advice I could give is to probably forget about her and try to find someone who will love you for who really are. At least you actually had the guts to even ask. I can't find the courage to even do that.
I am lucky to have two really good friends that are cool with everything. They are extremely supportive when I get down, so that's great.
What I don't get is "why me?" or "why us?". I am a fairly attractive male -- 6'2", 175, built, and on the verge of getting a scholarship for basketball -- but I just can't talk. This little thing -- actually big to me -- cuts me down and makes me feel so bad sometimes. You guys and gals have been so supportive, and I greatly appreciate that. God bless you all.
P.S. I have found that when I feel really down, like last night, the best thing to do is read the Bible for guidance and strength.
Andrew
09-26-2005, 10:39 PM
High school was only a problem for me the first week or so of class when we had to go in a circle and talk about ourselves. Normally I'd be the quiet one in class, but once we were allowed to talk among ourselves, I'd be told to shut up lots of times... which was a good feeling cuz I was always quiet.
It seems like I feel more comfortable talking to people my age 1 on 1 or in a small group rather than talking in front of the whole class.
I actually skipped college today because the class I have today is not a very good place for people like me. Answers from the book go in order around the class, from left to right, so ur required to speak even if you don't want to. The subject we are on now has the word "parallel" scattered though it, which is a word I have trouble on... so I elected to not go even though I had my homework and stuff ready. I feel kinda good because I didnt embarras myself today (like I did last week)... but I feel kinda defeated by my stutter because I'm letting it control my life too much.
Dianne
07-03-2007, 05:57 AM
High School(any school) is tough on anyone that has a 'Disability'-and I think stuttering is a disability because it puts us at a disadvantage of being able to express ourselves fluently and without hindrance.
There will always be people who love to 'prey' on anyone that is 'different' and I guess that we just need to become thick-skinned and forgive them their ignorance!You are lucky that you have this forum to turn to for support and advice.I am living in New Zealand and when I went to school there didn't seem much interest in helping me and instead I was treated as 'mentally deficient' and that had a huge impact on my confidence and morale.You need to remember that you have just as much right to an education as the "f-wits" who mock you -so stand tall and be proud and always remember that the forum is here for you!Strength be with you always my friend.
.you need to remember that you have just as much right to an education as the 'f-wit's'
stand tall1
AmandaL685
07-10-2007, 05:07 AM
Hi sg88!:) I don't know if you are still in high school or not since this thread was created almost two years ago, but if you are (and this may help other current HS students), here's my advice, which is ignore the jerks who choose to make fun of your stutter and move on. I know it sucks to be in high school, but you will be graduating soon and you probably won't see most of those people ever again.
About the girl who laughed when you asked her out, I would ignore her if I was you. You will find someone who loves and cherishes you whether you stutter or not.
AmandaL685
07-10-2007, 05:16 AM
Forgot to add:
Don't let the teasing and bullying control your life, you are in charge and have the power, not them.
any school is realy like hell, I am also controlled by my stutter in almost all my decisions, i skip class in some that need to talk always, I did not attend some subjects till near graduation and my parents were called to meet my teachers. I almost failed to graduate because there was 2 subject I did not attend after the 1st day.
I would just sit at the back with the angle that is not seen by the teacher so I will not be ask to answer questions, it's really tiring from the very first day!!!
I almost quit high school but has gone over it. but the terror of college, I cant stand anymore.
Tommy
07-11-2007, 11:19 PM
Yeah I remember school. I remember just walking out and going home one day because I got laughed at so much in class. I stopped speaking. A teacher would call on me and I refused to speak. I turned my back on them and just did my art. That actually earned me some respect. After I had a couple of good friends and a very sweet girlfriend. That's all I needed.
Consider for a moment the type of person who does laugh at you. Would you laugh at someone who had a disability? I wouldn't. What kind of person laughs at a disability? I'll tell you. An ignorant person with their head up their butt. Don't know about you but I wouldn't want to date someone like that or even be friends with people who behave like that. Get involved in the things you love and do them to the best of your ability. Stay open to new friends but don't worry about it. Those who can really be your friend will come to you. Those will be good people and be worthy of your friendship. Good luck.
Tommy
07-12-2007, 01:29 AM
Here's one reason why it is so vital that you give no credit to these people who mock you. By mocking or ridiculing you they are telling you (conciously or otherwise) what you are. They are trying to define you. If you're not careful this defining will get into your conciousness and eventually you will adopt it as a truth about yourself. Don't let this happen. You're not the belittled person they're trying to make you out to be. Standing tall means rejecting others' demeaning opinions of yourself and listening to what you know to be true about the person you really are.
Standingtall
07-12-2007, 03:22 AM
Standing tall means rejecting others' demeaning opinions of yourself and listening to what you know to be true about the person you really are.
I heard my user name being called. :D I'm here.
AmandaL685
07-12-2007, 05:04 AM
Here's one reason why it is so vital that you give no credit to these people who mock you. By mocking or ridiculing you they are telling you (conciously or otherwise) what you are. They are trying to define you. If you're not careful this defining will get into your conciousness and eventually you will adopt it as a truth about yourself. Don't let this happen. You're not the belittled person they're trying to make you out to be. Standing tall means rejecting others' demeaning opinions of yourself and listening to what you know to be true about the person you really are.
Exactly! Also, the teasing and ridicule may lead a person to take some unnecessary drastic actions (ex: dropping out of high school/college) that will mess up his or her life in the long run.
happy7117
07-12-2007, 05:52 AM
Exactly! Also, the teasing and ridicule may lead a person to take some unnecessary drastic actions (ex: dropping out of high school/college) that will mess up his or her life in the long run.
I had to drop out/leave school partly because of the stuttering too. I say partly because the stress of so much overstimulation and going-on's around me "overloading" my brain. And social pressures were too much for me to take. I also wonder if I did not stutter, would I still have dropped out because of all the overstimulation and social pressure???
If I did NOT stutter, would I have wished to stay in school?? That is something I wonder sometimes as well!
I dropped out in the middle of my junior year of High School. I continued the rest of my Junior Year and Senior year of High School being home-schooled. The home-school thing went so much better. I still stuttered, but I felt so much better without all that social pressure around me in the classromm or hall!
My stuttering has made me want to take my anger and frusteration out on other people. Fortunately, I have not had to "hurt" anyone!! But I do feel like yelling at some people. I do not do it to make them angry, but I do it as a way to let off steam or frusteration..
Tommy
07-12-2007, 12:39 PM
I heard my user name being called. :D I'm here.
And how did we ever get along without you Stands! :D
Tommy
07-12-2007, 12:45 PM
I had to drop out/leave school partly because of the stuttering too. I say partly because the stress of so much overstimulation and going-on's around me "overloading" my brain. And social pressures were too much for me to take. I also wonder if I did not stutter, would I still have dropped out because of all the overstimulation and social pressure???
If I did NOT stutter, would I have wished to stay in school?? That is something I wonder sometimes as well!
I dropped out in the middle of my junior year of High School. I continued the rest of my Junior Year and Senior year of High School being home-schooled. The home-school thing went so much better. I still stuttered, but I felt so much better without all that social pressure around me in the classromm or hall!
My stuttering has made me want to take my anger and frusteration out on other people. Fortunately, I have not had to "hurt" anyone!! But I do feel like yelling at some people. I do not do it to make them angry, but I do it as a way to let off steam or frusteration..
So you finished high school Happy? Hope so. Education is very important as I'm sure you know. Hey maybe you could take your frustrations out in sports or some other activity. I used to throw the javelin in school. Grrrr.....:mad:
JDRow
07-12-2007, 01:55 PM
I had a bad time in school, like a lot of people posting here. By the time I got to junior high I just never talked in school and would refuse if a teacher asked me to. Looking back I can see that that was a bad idea. The people who bullied me still knew I stuttered, and they still made fun of me. At the time I felt like everybody laughed at me and hated me, but it was just a few people. I let them make me think that that was how everybody felt, though. At the time I didn't think that anybody would want to be friends with me or accept how I talked, but now I'm sure there were people who were nice and wouldn't have cared that I stuttered, but they probably thought I was weird or rude because I never talked and always kept to myself. I think I worried so much about people making fun of me that I let it keep me from talking and kept me avoiding people, but it just didn't work like I wanted, because the people who bullied me still did it, but I kept myself from getting a chance to know the people who might have been nicer.
So I guess my advice would just be to keep things in perspective, because it's just a few people who make fun of you or reject you, and I don't know if there's anything you can do to stop that. You shouldn't let that keep you from meeting people who are nice and caring and don't care how you talk.
JDRow
07-12-2007, 02:14 PM
I wanted to add that I still struggle with this. I get pretty bad reactions to my speech sometimes, and when it happens I just want to stop talking completely so it won't happen again. But, I just try to remember that most people aren't like that, and that I can't stop rude, obnoxious people from being rude, and that I've handled their reactions before so I can do it again. I try not to let fear of that stop me from meeting people who are nice and who don't judge me based on how I talk. It's still hard, though. But if it's a choice between never having anybody laugh or say something rude to me again and also never making friends or meeting nice people, or dealing with some awful people but also meeting nice people and making friends, most of the time I'd rather deal with the awful people instead of just being isolated.
I also think that a lot of my misperceptions about how people would respond came from the fact that most of my family wasn't very supportive. My stutter has always upset my parents, and they still think it's something I could stop if I wanted, and that I'm just too lazy or stupid to do it. Maybe if my family had been accepting and supportive, I could have just brushed off teasing at school, but instead it just made me feel like everybody really did hate how I talked and hated me for it too. Knowing my girlfriend and her family the last few months, who have just been so accepting of me, has helped me to handle encounters with rude people better. If I ever had a kid who stuttered, I'd make sure they knew that there was nothing wrong with them and that however they talked was okay, so that hopefully they could just write off anybody who made fun of them as a jerk rather than letting it define how they thought about themselves, like Tommy mentioned.
peikayla
07-12-2007, 05:11 PM
Hi,I hear ya.. I just graduated from high School in 2006. It was hard for me too.. instead of me going in to a big rant, why don't you check out my website and read my story.. www.stutteringsupport.piczo.com... Hope you get something from it.. if not I am always here to answer whatever questions you have.. Hope to help
Kayla:)
Tommy
07-12-2007, 05:31 PM
Hi Kayla. I just moved here to Atlanta from Ottawa. Sorry to hear about so little support growing up but you've got a great attitude so you'll be fine and you'll get a lot of support here I'm sure. :)
nick1991
07-30-2007, 08:14 PM
Man, i feel the exact same as you, im 16 aswel and i find school such a burden. Trick is to get angry. Get angry whenever people tease you. Don't feel like a jerk or sorry for yourself, be angry about what they have done. Thats what i've done and i get respected. Also i know this sounds hard, but, be more assertive, like opt to be in school plays, or whenever something pops into your mind don't be afraid to say it, just go at them gung-ho and you'll prevail in the end. No-one was born to be PC, we're all human
bwelling
07-30-2007, 10:36 PM
sg - Make sure you have a sanctuary.(a place of refuge and protection (2) : a refuge for wildlife where predators are controlled and hunting is illegal) - Merriam-Webster. My sanctuary during high school was music. I played guitar. I have two non-stuttering kids that made it through HS. They each seem to find they own type of sanctuary for HS survival. My son-marching band, my daughter-lots of girlfriends.
bwelling
07-30-2007, 10:42 PM
sg - another thought about HS. If I had to go through it again, I'd make a good connection to a group of stutterers (stutteringforum) or sympathizers (those who understand stuttering) for moral support rather for than do battle all by myself.
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