Fluency 7: The Truth.

[Asif]

Thank you Emily.
You, and you alone, are responsible for finally allowing me to be able to fit the missing pieces together. You said:
"I try not to assume people are lying".

And that is it.
That is the key to our lives. And to our broken speech.
I have been utterly bewildered by events on this forum.
I hadn't a clue what was happening or why.
Emily showed me.

People have often asked what changed for me, when I quite suddenly found that I did not stutter any more.
Bear in mind that - for me - it was a mystical experience. And that - as a whole - is what I usually focus on when I try to tell it.

But now I understand completely.
It was my decision to never again lie, or be dishonest, that healed me.
Think about that.
That was the connection that jump-started my speech.
Instant fix: lying=off. Honesty=on.

This is going to be my shortest and final Fluency post.
I can almost hear the cheering.
But these are the crown jewels.
This is all you need to know.

It has been assumed from the beginning of my posts, that I am a liar.
Believing that, people inverted everything I said and that alone was the reason that there could be no reason.

Some of you wholeheartedly believe I am insane, because reading my truths as lies, there was never any chance I could reason with you.
Being liars yourselves, you were unable to see or know truth when you saw it.
Liars will swear on their mother's grave, that their lies are truth.
There is no way to recognize truth if you deny its very existence.

So yes: I can say that truth is the one thing many of you lack.
The one thing you have in common.
You lie to the world, and you lie to yourselves.
That is the nature of your disability.

Is it any wonder that every time you either speak - or write - all that comes out is chaos?

I am done now: this was my message, and it has been delivered.
It will stand, in spite of the rantings that are sure to follow, so others, who are not like you poor lost few, will read and maybe understand.

And Emily: Thank you again. Your God guides you. I can see that.

[JDRow]

And we finally find out why we stutter: because we're all liars!

Dude, good riddance. I truly hope this was your final post.

[sst]

I promised I wouldn't respond to any more of Asif/Han's ramblings, but I'm breaking that promise right now. :)

Nobody will miss you, and you know that. But I doubt you will finally leave this place, people like you crave attention. It's funny, Hans had dramatic exit that blamed others for his leaving, too. Strange how similar both of your times here have been. ;)

[Zachary]

I consider myself a pretty straightforward and honest person. I do appreciate your efforts to share your knowledge with the rest of the though. Your experience as a stutterer reads to be pretty unique, same with your approach to dealing with the issue.

Best wishes to you.

[chris2112]

What am I lying about? I dont know lol.

[Asif]

What am I lying about? I dont know lol.

ve haf der vays of making you talk!

[Violet]

*raises on eyebrow in confusion*
interesting theory..

i never lie.. or at least i don't think i do... If i'm going to do something which will force me to lie why do it in the first place? lying creates too much negative energy, and everyone gets caught out in the end..

but yet i still stutter. :confused:

[eva]

Interesting theory indeed.

All stutterers are always lying. Is what Asif says true or false?

[JDRow]

I'd say somebody coming on to a board saying that they were fluent and would give us the secrets of fluency, then admitting that they still stutter sometimes, is an example of lying.

[sst]

I'd say somebody coming on to a board saying that they were fluent and would give us the secrets of fluency, then admitting that they still stutter sometimes, is an example of lying.

I would say that person is full of shit, and knows even less than the people he looks down upon.

[Asif]

I would say that person is full of shit, and knows even less than the people he looks down upon.

We all tend to draw upon our own experiences.
>puts down mirror and walks away smiling<

[philostam]

Perhaps, as i believe, stuttering is a fault in the brain, a fault in your brain, not your siblings brains, and it is triggered more by external factors - such as traumatic events- and even if you lived the ideal life you may still stutter, but perhaps not as much, perhaps you could have coped better, perhaps it would have been better in your child hood years? i don't believe having a bad mother causes stuttering, and neither does lying, being emotional, etc, etc.. but i think that in some people factors such as these can make it worse, whether for a short period of time or for the long run..

Like i was thinking about this.. and when i was two my mother had a still born and she became seriously depressed because she blamed herself and she later told me that the first day she didn’t cry was when she found out she was pregnant with my brother which was two years later.. I remember her being depressed, and her depression carried on for many years past her giving birth to my brother, it just improved, kinda... and i never felt close to her until i was in high school, when i think she finally completely recovered.. Its weird because i remember being closer to my father when i was very young.. but then from when i was about 12-16ish i absolutely hated him because i felt so hurt by him because of various crap.. and now i am indifferent to him but have recently become slightly closer to him...
I am pretty sure that if i had the "ideal" parents i would still stutter. I just think that i would have handled it far better..

And another example that just came to me: The Lying Post (Fluency 7)
People are complex. You are complex. I am complex. Asif is complex. Sometimes you can lie to yourself without fully realising that you are doing so.

Here is how i could sort of relate it to my (somewhat limited) experiences:
When i was younger and had to see my dad more frequently and my stepmother ruled over my brother and i, she used to treat us like we were nothing. We couldn't use the same tissues as them (and they were just your average box of tissues), she would get angry if we ate too much (i soon became scared of eating in front of her because i believed i was using to much of earths resources) she would get angry if someone even mentioned the words 'sliced bread/canned fruit/any other normal everyday object' (she would go on this hour long rant to the world about everyone who ate/used this product were the biggest bunch of idiots in the world and she would be like seriously trying to pick a fight with a 12 year old girl, who was so scared to talk to her that she was practically mute, and who didn’t even like sandwiches!)
And anyway, i became very depressed and wanted to kill myself because i believed that i was a waste of space, but i never blamed her, because in my mind everything she said and the way she acted was correct - that i was worthless. I started to hate my father because he is spineless and never stood up for us and the one time i told him how we actually felt he laughed and secretly got married to her half a week later... but yeah years later i came to the realisation that i was deflecting the hate i felt for myself onto my father and stepmother (although i hardly ever openly fight/scream at people.. so it was all hate that built up inside of me).. i was using so much energy to hate them and think about the injustices so that i wouldn’t have to think about my stutter. To think about my stutter was so painful that i felt as if i physically and mentally wouldn’t be able to cope with it so i just locked it away.

So in this sense i was lying to myself and was never able to address my stutter and attempt to fully improve because i wouldn’t let myself pause to think about it because at the time i knew i wasn’t strong enough to do so..



Here I can see why there is a 5/1 ratio between stuttering men and women. Women are much more capable of giving up their obstinacies, wrong learned strategies.

Some say women are more complicated and tend more to be psychologically problematic, because a lot more women go to therapies; but the truth is that men are such complex and problematic that they can't even go to therapy, to open their weakness; they rather force themself into tragic sufferers or other poses. Women are much more delicate, thus they are (despite of the popular image!) much much more practical, smart (!), teachable than men who are (despite of the popular image) much more passionate, emotion-driven, stubborn. We fight with our difficulties; women are thinking about how they could get rid of them, even if they have to sacrifice their "pride", "self-awareness" etc.

I called Violet a girl yesterday, but by all odds by tommorrow she'll be a woman.

I don't give her stutter 2-3 years.