How many here feel emotional unstable?

[JohanZombie]

How are your emotions, thoughts and reactions to stress? Would you consider yourself very sensitive?

Myself feel pretty unstable... I think a lot about my relations with friends and people in general and I analyze everything and feel alot of anxiety about relations and how people percept me as a person.

When I interact socially with new friends and people that are potential new friends becuase they are in the same age and seems interesting, I feel unstable, stressed and my thoughts goes on a very fast tempo. In these moments i tend to stutter... Everytime I stutter I always do it because I have a anxious-feeling right before I speak. The unsecure feeling makes my speech unsecure and I hate the way that reflect on the relation and the unspontanousness that it creates.

It feels like I dont speak from myself instead I speak from the part of me that desperately want to be loved, liked, appreciated, funny, interesting and therefore the anxiety kicks in and makes me unstable. This is rather hard to explain but I have experienced that I only stutter when I put so much effort and thoghts about what other people think of me and when Im calm and safe I dont stutter. The problem is that I never feel calm and safe around interesting people, like nice girls etc. So therefore I stutter and the unsecure socialisation creates a bad memory which fills my mind up with even more anxiety.

I feel alot of anxiety and stress during the days and these feelings comes from a feeling of wanting to be accepted. I think of friends, social situations, what him or her thinks of me, and stuff like that all the time. And it makes me feel like im going f-cking crazy. Like i dont know who I really am.

Can anyone else relate to this and have any ideas how to coop with it?

I know that the key lies in create a relaxed, unstressed and calm feeling about my self. But I care so much about other people and I want nice relations so bad that these stressfull thoughts pop-up all the time. I want to have a nice, calm, spontenous life with my friends so much that this has became a slight obsession. And in some way Im afraid of just letting these thoughts go because that would make me feel that I loose the control.

Damn it!

[Count]

I am emotionally unstable! Not all of the time, but it happens.
It's because I put myself under pressure. People tell me I'm still young and have time, but they are mistaken. I don't have time since time passes by too fast. I have to do quite a lot important stuff now so that I will never regret anything. lol

[JDRow]

I feel pretty emotionally stable most of the time now, but I do have times where I feel emotionally unstable. But, everybody I know sometimes feels unstable or anxious or really stressed out, too, so now I just accept it as a normal part of being a human being. I think there'd probably be something wrong with a person who was never stressed and never anxious and never upset or angry or whatever. Those are all normal emotions that everybody feels, and I think maybe sometimes stutterers beat ourselves up for having the same feelings as everybody else. Even if stress or anxiety makes our stuttering worse, we're never going to be stress- and anxiety-free, because nobody on earth is. I heard somebody once say something like, "You won't have any more stress when you're dead."

[chris2112]

I know exactly how you feel lol. Really relizing how much stuttering effects me socially really made me on and off depressed. Lyrics from a Rush song describe it best haha.

"One day I feel I'm on top of the world
And the next it's falling in on me
I can get back on, I can get back on

One day I feel I'm ahead of the wheel,
And the next it's rolling over me
I can get back on, I can get back on"

[Silent]

Yes, I too have these feelings, i.e. self-consciousness, insecurity, need for approval, etc.
I don't think, however, emotionally unstable is the right term.

How to cope with it? That's a good question and there is no simple answer.

Just a few random thoughts...

Ask yourself: Why do you need others' approval? Is it approval that you need, or is it the emotions that come with it? Or the fear of getting hurt? What part of you can actually get hurt? Does the impact of the hurting depend on your attitude? How would you like to change your attitude to minimize it?

Once you realize your reward system is flawed (because it depends on approval of others), you'll want to modify it. This can be done through desensitization. Set yourself easy goals, ones you can achieve, and then go for more challenging ones. Play with it. Approach each situation as if you didn't care. Put it upside down. For example if you're uncomfortable with attractive girls, approach lots of them, and take rejection as a success, not a failure. It is a success indeed, because you have successfuly approached her. You may not have gotten her approval, but getting her approval was not your goal; so put on a big smile and feel like a winner, because you are one :) Remember it's only an exercise; you're not supposed to always be like that, but it's good to take on this playful attitude every now and then. It puts you in charge and helps look at things from a distance.

I know, easier said than done... But worth trying.

[Mullen]

One of the themes of existentialism is that of becoming authentic in the way we live our lives.

http://www.tc.umn.edu/~parkx032/CY-AU.html

It may not be to everyone's taste, but I find it useful in being contented with who I am.

[chris2112]

One of the themes of existentialism is that of becoming authentic in the way we live our lives.

http://www.tc.umn.edu/~parkx032/CY-AU.html

It may not be to everyone's taste, but I find it useful in being contented with who I am.

yeah most people think existentialism is like a depressing world view, but really thinking about my existence really changed my perspective and goals for the better.

[cjm555]

i think thats something everybody goes through... i know i have ups and downs with all of it... i just know its gotten better as the years go by. i guess i get by since i just hope things will work out when i'm out of school

[Violet]

I read this earlier today: "There are some of us who in after years say to Fate, 'Now deal us your hardest blow, give us what you will; but let us never again suffer as we suffered when we were children'. The barb in the arrow of childhoods suffering is this - its intense loneliness, its intense ignorance."

I think in my current position, the most mentally unstable i have been (although i never really showed it on the surface) was when i was a child. Purely because i was ignorant in the fact that i believed that i was alone and could not talk about anything because i would not be believed, would be mistrusted, and be sent to a mental asylum all because, after all, who would believe un ugly stuttering twerp? who would believe a child who did not have a right to be heard, let alone feel the way i did?
For me, i used to believe that stuttering was the icing on the cake, but really it was the whole cake and everything else was the icing. haha.. I was so mixed up that i forced myself not to think about stuttering, it was like burning magnesium: you can't look at it directly or you will burn your eyes out.

Now i am the most stable i have ever been in my life and i only really become more susceptible to being depressed when i have my periods (haha i'm such a female - blaming all my problems on PMS :rolleyes: ) but i reckon if i follow on the path i am on now i can get past that as well :D

and despite all this change of self, i still stutter.. even when i am in situations where i am completely comfortable with stuttering and i am not nervous or scared about stuttering in the slightest. I actually, at least appear to, stutter more to people who i am comfortable with because i just talk and say what i think because i am so ing sick of being silent and repressed and if they have a ing problem they can go themselves and i will be more than happy to never talk to them again if that makes their ears happier. like, what do they have to complain about? they're not the one who can't talk. :p
Obviously i try to still be fluent, and jesus i am trying, but all the times where normally i would shrug them off, remain silent, lie and say the easier option, i say what i think, even though i know i will trip up, because i feel safe enough to at least try rather than completely avoid talking unless i know i am having a good day. I think this has been working for me.. well it has at least helped me become more happy and trusting of myself (well that, and several other things, such as painting my fingernails bright yellow to remind myself to be happy) :D

[Jamus]

Myself feel pretty unstable... I think a lot about my relations with friends and people in general and I analyze everything and feel alot of anxiety about relations and how people percept me as a person.

When I interact socially with new friends and people that are potential new friends becuase they are in the same age and seems interesting, I feel unstable, stressed and my thoughts goes on a very fast tempo. In these moments i tend to stutter... Everytime I stutter I always do it because I have a anxious-feeling right before I speak. The unsecure feeling makes my speech unsecure and I hate the way that reflect on the relation and the unspontanousness that it creates.

It feels like I dont speak from myself instead I speak from the part of me that desperately want to be loved, liked, appreciated, funny, interesting and therefore the anxiety kicks in and makes me unstable. This is rather hard to explain but I have experienced that I only stutter when I put so much effort and thoghts about what other people think of me and when Im calm and safe I dont stutter. The problem is that I never feel calm and safe around interesting people, like nice girls etc. So therefore I stutter and the unsecure socialisation creates a bad memory which fills my mind up with even more anxiety.

I think I understand what you mean. There are situations where I want to make a good impression, and it is those situations where i feel the most stress b/c I put pressure on myself to be fluent. But doing that just causes me more stress and I stutter more.

The way I was able to cut down on my stress and nervousness that way was to put myself into a different mindset. It certainly did not happen overnight, but over years. I am who I am. And I always worried about how I was perceived. Like I was looked at as a retard or an abnormal person, and that lowered my self confidence overall and made me more insecure.. hence I was a wreck when I really wanted to make a good impression on someone I though was cool and wanted to get to know better. It was about not letting others' possible thoughts get into your head. I go out and I talk without stopping myself before I start thinking like I will make a fool of myself. What can they take away from me? I think once you lose the ability to speak your mind then it has stripped away your diginity - who you are as a person. Adnm it's happened to me, and I have overcome that. I only shrug off those negative thoughts now, and it empowers me. I see it in that way and it frees me of a lot of stress.

[Mike85]

How are your emotions, thoughts and reactions to stress? Would you consider yourself very sensitive?

Myself feel pretty unstable... I think a lot about my relations with friends and people in general and I analyze everything and feel alot of anxiety about relations and how people percept me as a person.

When I interact socially with new friends and people that are potential new friends becuase they are in the same age and seems interesting, I feel unstable, stressed and my thoughts goes on a very fast tempo. In these moments i tend to stutter... Everytime I stutter I always do it because I have a anxious-feeling right before I speak. The unsecure feeling makes my speech unsecure and I hate the way that reflect on the relation and the unspontanousness that it creates.

It feels like I dont speak from myself instead I speak from the part of me that desperately want to be loved, liked, appreciated, funny, interesting and therefore the anxiety kicks in and makes me unstable. This is rather hard to explain but I have experienced that I only stutter when I put so much effort and thoghts about what other people think of me and when Im calm and safe I dont stutter. The problem is that I never feel calm and safe around interesting people, like nice girls etc. So therefore I stutter and the unsecure socialisation creates a bad memory which fills my mind up with even more anxiety.

I feel alot of anxiety and stress during the days and these feelings comes from a feeling of wanting to be accepted. I think of friends, social situations, what him or her thinks of me, and stuff like that all the time. And it makes me feel like im going f-cking crazy. Like i dont know who I really am.

Can anyone else relate to this and have any ideas how to coop with it?

I know that the key lies in create a relaxed, unstressed and calm feeling about my self. But I care so much about other people and I want nice relations so bad that these stressfull thoughts pop-up all the time. I want to have a nice, calm, spontenous life with my friends so much that this has became a slight obsession. And in some way Im afraid of just letting these thoughts go because that would make me feel that I loose the control.

Damn it!

I can relate to your situation very well, I have it too. It was worst for me in my teenage years. Now as I am becoming mature its getting better.

But you shouldn't forget that almost every human as this. We pws probally experience it more severly then the average human being, but everyone has their insecurities that they worry about.

[chris2112]

For me, i used to believe that stuttering was the icing on the cake, but really it was the whole cake and everything else was the icing.

Yeah, its wierd, thats what happend to me. I went through middle school severly depressed without even knowing why. I blamed other things but I knew they couldnt be what was making me that depressed, It was confusing lol. I was much more unaware of my stutter back then, and I unconciously compensated it by not talking much and telling my self I dont really stutter anymore, only sometimes, so I didnt think about it much at all. After a while I began to relize that I was way more quiet then normal and that I do stutter. Its wierd how the unconciousness works lol.

[nerrad]

I'm pretty much JUST like u JohanZombie. I'm feeling pretty close to suicide. I'm so tired of the struggles. And people actually believe in god?... Psh! Ok

[chris2112]

I'm pretty much JUST like u JohanZombie. I'm feeling pretty close to suicide. I'm so tired of the struggles.
It is really hard but hang in there, I hope youll see that life is worth it. Talking is only a tiny part of your pontential.

And people actually believe in god?... Psh! Ok
LOL yeah it seems like if there is an intelligent being who created us, its more like a human subject to mistake then all powerful haha.

[nik037]

as i have learned, most ppl are emotionally unstable at points. just find something that levels you...whatever it may be. i have had meltdowns where i do not even feel like myself bc i am so stressed/anxious/scared/upset...but in the end you and only u control what you feel like. i know its hard but take charge and keep your head up.

[nik037]

as i have learned, most ppl are emotionally unstable at points. just find something that levels you...whatever it may be. i have had meltdowns where i do not even feel like myself bc i am so stressed/anxious/scared/upset...but in the end you and only u control what you feel like. i know its hard but take charge and keep your head up.

[nate]

I'm pretty much JUST like u JohanZombie. I'm feeling pretty close to suicide. I'm so tired of the struggles. And people actually believe in god?... Psh! Ok

I used to feel that way...sometimes i still do. and over the stupidest shit too! :D but as i grow older, i'm learning to be patient and take life as it comes. Everyone has problems. I'm happy to say that ours aren't as bad as many people.
I took my babies to the clinic for their shots. There was a 12 yr old child there with Cerebral Palsy. I mean my kids want to make me rip out my hair they are so naughty. But i am so blessed that they can be naughty. That they can run, and get into shit. and ignore me. I bet that childs mother and father wish they could have my little devil children.
what i am saying is that even though things are tough...we should be grateful for every mercy because the alternative could be much much worse.
ps what if u killed yoself and they found a magic pill for stuttering the next day. then what???u canna come back can ye?:eek:
nate

[Imperfection]

I actually, at least appear to, stutter more to people who i am comfortable with because i just talk and say what i think because i am so ing sick of being silent and repressed and if they have a ing problem they can go themselves and i will be more than happy to never talk to them again if that makes their ears happier. like, what do they have to complain about? they're not the one who can't talk.

...This is what I still struggle with.

I have never done the "easy stutter" thing, where you forget about fluency or whatever and be yourself around people you are comfortable with.

Even around my freaking parents, I don't say everything I want to for fear of stuttering. The worst is when my mom'll ask me what I want to eat. We usually end up playing a guessing game because I can't say "Wendy's," "Burger King," et cetera.

Does anyone know how I start to "easy stutter"? ...If that makes any sense.

[Imperfection]

Okay, no, wait.

I think I meant "voluntary stuttering."

...Meh, let's just say I'm talking about speaking your mind no matter if you stutter or not to people you are semi-comfortable around. (i.e. not really practicing your techniques, I guess) Just talking like a normal person, not holding anything back...

[mizzOe]

Yes, I'm emotionally unstable- I blame it all on my stuttering.