Tips on how to tackle eating out tonight.

[happy7117]

I absolutlely love Applebee's. I go there once a week. I always get the same thing. The stutter is annoying as hell, and it's pretty obvious. I hate it..you know the story.

But tonight, it was the shittiest it's been. And when I say shittiest, I stuttered way MORE than usual.

My stuttering has always been a hellish nightmare.

But tonight at dinner, it was unbearable. The stuttering was interfering with my ability to truly enjoy myself. That's a 1st.

I don't know how in the hell I was able to toughen it out, and not get extremely angry.

I felt extremely embarrassed, mad, and angry.

I HATED when these great waitress friends of mine had to wait for me--which of course if you have read my last thousand posts--that I constantly say that I hate it when people wait for me to say something when I already kn ow I can't say it.

Well, I just wanted thhem to fill in all my words tonight, because I was having a of a time.

I came home, and although I did not hurt myself, I did make a few small dents with my fist in the wall when I punched it ou of anger and frusteration.

I CANNOT and WILL NOT be able to go through another situation like this next week---I love everyone there, and I love people--but when I stutter to much--IT makes ME VERY MAD, EDGY, and extremely embarrassed.

For the 1st time tonight, one of my waitress friends said "slow down Adam".

I know she meant well, and I don't blame her for saying that.

I never told her that I did not appreciate it that she said that. I am not one to hurt others feelings.

I brushed it off. As soon as she said "slow down Adam", as I was having an incredible hard time spitting it up and out, it clicked that if anyone thinks nasty profound stuttering is not the worst problem to do with, then think again and get a reality check.

And to the thread a while back asking if I would prefer any other disability over stuttering.

It depends.

If it's light managable stuttering that does not take a long time but still can be understood, I can live with stuttering.

But if stuttering is like extremely horrible like for the past 7 years, and tonight for example, I will take anything else.

Stuttering is tollerable for me only if it's moderate with some stutterings. That kind of stuttering is fine with me and OK.

But horrible outrageous stuttering where the listener is realy waiting for us when they could be taking other's orders, it's not pretty and not good to live with.

Any helpfull tips or advice to follow when going next week to Applebee's, so my stuttering doesn't impede my ability to have a good time which it did tonight.

I surely don't want a repeat performance of tonight.

[Box of Clocks]

You could try going with someone so that if you get into real trouble while stuttering they can jump in and save you. That wouldn't really be much of a solution though as I imagine you would want to do it for yourself.

The only other thing I can suggest is that you either point at the thing you want on the menu or take pen and paper with you and write your order down. I would only do one of these two things though if you are stuttering really badly and it is getting to the point where it is very frustrating. I'm guessing most of the staff know you have a stutter so it probably won't look too weird if you were to write it down.

It seems like you go the the restaurant quite often though and seeing that you don't make a thread about this every week I'm assuming that usually you can say your order without stuttering too badly or so much so that it becomes very embarrassing. All being well next time you won't stutter as badly as you did this week anyway.

[thatCALIdude]

hate to hear what happened, we've all been in that situation before. i think we think about failing so horribly and how people wil judge us it causes us to get even more embarrassed and fearful. i haven't ate out lately but every time i have to order i become extremely nervous and fearful of failing. one of the greatest invention has to be ordering fast food by numbers. thats saved me a lot and gave me enough confidence to even step up to order.

so adam are receiving any type of therapy right now?

[JDRow]

Adam, it really sucks you had such a bad night. I don't go out to eat by myself, so I usually have somebody else order for me. I'll order for myself if it's not too crowded and my stutter isn't that bad that day, but for me it helps to know that there's somebody there who can say it for me if I can't. Like Box of Clocks suggested, since they know you stutter, I don't think they'd think anything of you writing it down if you were having such a hard time.

But if stuttering is like extremely horrible like for the past 7 years, and tonight for example, I will take anything else.

Adam, there are a whole lot of disabilities or diseases you could have where you wouldn't be able to go and enjoy a dinner out. Even if you have a horrible time ordering, at least you're able to get to the restaurant and feed yourself and swallow your food and enjoy it. There are a lot of people who have it a lot worse.

[JDRow]

I was also thinking, if you always get the same thing, and the same waitresses are there and know you, you could just say something like "The usual" if going through your whole order seems too difficult.

[happy7117]

You could try going with someone so that if you get into real trouble while stuttering they can jump in and save you. That wouldn't really be much of a solution though as I imagine you would want to do it for yourself.

The only other thing I can suggest is that you either point at the thing you want on the menu or take pen and paper with you and write your order down. I would only do one of these two things though if you are stuttering really badly and it is getting to the point where it is very frustrating. I'm guessing most of the staff know you have a stutter so it probably won't look too weird if you were to write it down.

It seems like you go the the restaurant quite often though and seeing that you don't make a thread about this every week I'm assuming that usually you can say your order without stuttering too badly or so much so that it becomes very embarrassing. All being well next time you won't stutter as badly as you did this week anyway.

Some great tips! But the problem is not with in fact ordering what I want, but making small talk, and conversing!!!

They are all such great girlies, and I want to make a smooth impression here folks!

[happy7117]

hate to hear what happened, we've all been in that situation before. i think we think about failing so horribly and how people wil judge us it causes us to get even more embarrassed and fearful. i haven't ate out lately but every time i have to order i become extremely nervous and fearful of failing. one of the greatest invention has to be ordering fast food by numbers. thats saved me a lot and gave me enough confidence to even step up to order.

so adam are receiving any type of therapy right now?

You shouldn't have asked about therapy because it makes me go off on one of my tangents about devices and I'm trying to lay off the threads about devices:) But seeing as you asked--I guess I must vent about therapy now!!

You hear me SST: I'm trying to lay off devices!!

Back to the topic:

What therapy?? I don't have enough money to PAY for therapy:mad: and I so desperately need it or want some.

s! We should be getting this kind of stuff for free if we can't afford it.

The RIGHT therapy would help!

[chris2112]

You shouldn't have asked about therapy because it makes me go off on one of my tangents about devices and I'm trying to lay off the threads about devices:) But seeing as you asked--I guess I must vent about therapy now!!

You hear me SST: I'm trying to lay off devices!!

Back to the topic:

What therapy?? I don't have enough money to PAY for therapy:mad: and I so desperately need it or want some.

s! We should be getting this kind of stuff for free if we can't afford it.

The RIGHT therapy would help!

Honestly I think you could give yourself just as good a therapy then a speech therapist can. All they do is make you say stuff using techniques, you can do that yourself with a book or something.

[grantM]

If the staff all know you and you basically order the same meal each time it would be smooth if they knew to simply say "and your usual Mr Happy717"

[thatCALIdude]

You shouldn't have asked about therapy because it makes me go off on one of my tangents about devices and I'm trying to lay off the threads about devices:) But seeing as you asked--I guess I must vent about therapy now!!

You hear me SST: I'm trying to lay off devices!!

Back to the topic:

What therapy?? I don't have enough money to PAY for therapy:mad: and I so desperately need it or want some.

s! We should be getting this kind of stuff for free if we can't afford it.

The RIGHT therapy would help!

sorry to hear about that. people keep telling me my stutter will decrease as i get older but still at 31 i still struggle with it.

[Bill Hargis]

Happy, do you live anywhere a university? If so there will be free speech therapy available. I had therapy at Southern Ill University when I was in the 8th grade, It didn't help me but I had a terrible crush on the therapist. She was a grad student studying for her PHD and she was beautiful. A lot of people are helped and even become fluent with therapy. Everyone is different. I was recently involved in a panel discussion at the Univ of Oregon and the speech pathology students there are really a bunch of caring people.

[happy7117]

sorry to hear about that. people keep telling me my stutter will decrease as i get older but still at 31 i still struggle with it.

HA! Shows what they know, don't it! They KNOW NOTHING:)

I have been told that sometimes that my stuttering will lessen as I age older.

But I am 30 now-- my stuttering has not gotten easier as I got older.

That's a bunch of BULL folks:D :mad:

[happy7117]

Happy, do you live anywhere a university? If so there will be free speech therapy available. I had therapy at Southern Ill University when I was in the 8th grade, It didn't help me but I had a terrible crush on the therapist. She was a grad student studying for her PHD and she was beautiful. A lot of people are helped and even become fluent with therapy. Everyone is different. I was recently involved in a panel discussion at the Univ of Oregon and the speech pathology students there are really a bunch of caring people.

Therapy is not for everyone though, I went for therapy at a local university and NOPE- the therapy was NOT FREE.

It was not realy helpful outside the clinic room...and as much as I practiced, it didn't click with me.

I will admit though--there were some hot clinicians too.

If the university near me offered free therapy, I would go twice a week, but it's too fricken costly to go.

I mean- what the frick.

[nerrad]

When people tell u to slow down, DONT. there's no point cause u already can't get the word out. just stop and start over. Works for me.

[happy7117]

When people tell u to slow down, DONT. there's no point cause u already can't get the word out. just stop and start over. Works for me.

I learned that lesson years ago before coming to the forum. But you are so right though!

I have always just ignored others that tell me to "slow down"--and continue with what the hell I am trying to say--

Slow down or speed up--we will still stutter nastily.