Refraining From Talking.

[Violet]

Do you ever feel the urge to just take a break from talking -seeing as its giving you so much trouble- and just take the backseat and not talk? At times i occasionally feel like this, such as right now, and i just pretty much stop talking when it isn't necessary because i cant bring myself to struggle again..

And i realise that this isolates yourself from everyone else, and i hate that fact, but sometimes i just need to have quiet time, where i can tune things out.. lol, its almost like a form of meditation..

i used to have the urge to do that more often, but the last time i went through that was in August last year, when i slept for a week because i was fighting some god forsaken virus.. but i must admit, most of the reason why i was so sick was because i was letting my immune system take a back seat, because i just needed time to sort out my head.. mostly to do with stuttering and the future consequences of that.. so because of that i havnt felt this feeling in six months... Like i just feel like if i stopped talking, then maybe the currently bad dose of stuttering i have been experiencing for the past month would just pass, and i temporarily wouldn't have to stutter anymore....

Do you ever have the urge to just give up and stop talking/not try to say something because you know that you will never be able to communicate the message anyway? :(

[happy7117]

Do you ever feel the urge to just take a break from talking -seeing as its giving you so much trouble- and just take the backseat and not talk? At times i occasionally feel like this, such as right now, and i just pretty much stop talking when it isn't necessary because i cant bring myself to struggle again..

And i realise that this isolates yourself from everyone else, and i hate that fact, but sometimes i just need to have quiet time, where i can tune things out.. lol, its almost like a form of meditation..

i used to have the urge to do that more often, but the last time i went through that was in August last year, when i slept for a week because i was fighting some god forsaken virus.. but i must admit, most of the reason why i was so sick was because i was letting my immune system take a back seat, because i just needed time to sort out my head.. mostly to do with stuttering and the future consequences of that.. so because of that i havnt felt this feeling in six months... Like i just feel like if i stopped talking, then maybe the currently bad dose of stuttering i have been experiencing for the past month would just pass, and i temporarily wouldn't have to stutter anymore....

Do you ever have the urge to just give up and stop talking/not try to say something because you know that you will never be able to communicate the message anyway? :(

All the time I feel like that, believe it or not. There are many times I think that's it's just a waste of time trying to talk because it's too much of a struggle and I'll get impatient with myself.

We need to talk in order to get by in the world, but it feels better if we didn't because it's too much trouble and anger, and frusteration.

I mean why try when we get shot down.

It's like we try to talk, but we know we will stutter, so we think "what's the use"

[Count]

Do you ever have the urge to just give up and stop talking/not try to say something because you know that you will never be able to communicate the message anyway? :(

This has been my problem since I'm a teenager. I'd like to talk to so many people about so many different things, just this damn stutter holds me back.
Unfortunately there are too many people who don't understand the issue of stuttering, they don't even know that it is considered to be an illness. But I've decided to go on, I don't want to give up on my life because I cannot speak properly. You know, there are so many other diseases that are completely misunderstood by the common run of people. One example is the Asperger-Syndrome. People having this kind of condition are unable to make social contacts because they cannot understand the habits and so-called ordinary behaviours of others. They don't know why people interpret things in their sentences. Example: A person having Asperger says: "Hey, nice hair!"
And the other person thinks that he is being made fun of because it's obvious that his hair look really bad and everyone has noticed that so far. But the Asperger-person really thought that the hair look beautiful.

This was maybe completely off-topic, but the main message I wanted to get across was that stuttering is not the only misunderstood condition.

[Pirhana]

Yeah Violet, I definitely feel like that sometimes...

I actually did completely take a break for about a day towards the end of my fresher's week acouple of years ago... I block terribly on direct questions (name, age, where i'm from etc), and that's pretty much all conversations are in the first few days - I'd had so many people just walk away from me mid-sentence, or that terrible 'horror/pity' face..

I was so emotionally/mentally exhausted that i took a day off from speaking & had a day for myself, I'd got to the point where I just burst into tears every time i opened my mouth!

I'd imagine speech therapists would have a field day about that, but it was the right thing for me to do at the time... And it didnt do me any harm socially - i have lots of nice friends now! :)

It's definitely important to push yourself, but dont beat yourself up if you need a break from time to time, take some time off and do something that makes you feel better about yourself.... just make sure you have a time limit on it!

[emily445455]

Sometimes in the evening I feel like I don't want to talk anymore. After a long exhausting day of trying to communicate....my brain is tired.

There are many times I was going to say something to my hubby, but don't because my body just kind of gave up.

[Be YOURSELF]

It happens a lot, but i enjoy the struggle at times, because i often get more fluent and confident the more i speak. I hate talkative though, they never give me the chance to give my opinion

[Zach]

Oh yeah, I know the feeling well.

It's like that with making a friend or approaching a girl; you know you have to talk to do it, but it's just so numbing when you fail because you can't communicate effectively. So you give up on it for a period of time.

[chris2112]

Do you ever have the urge to just give up and stop talking/not try to say something because you know that you will never be able to communicate the message anyway? :(

story of my life. I have like two friends because of this, but the isolation made me who I am now.

[grantM]

I only take a break from talking if I have a hard session and my facial muscles are sore from the breaks and contortions

[Mike85]

When I am having a very bad stutter day I often refrain from talking to. Its maybe not the smartest thing to do, because it builds up anxiety, but the frustration of the constant speaking struggle is too much at those moments for me... So yea I know what you mean.

Lately it isn't going so well with you isn't it Violet? You aren't being your usual cheerful self in your posts.

[nik037]

i think most of us feel like that, a good portion of the time, at least at some pt in our lives.

[claragazza]

i think most of us feel like that, a good portion of the time, at least at some pt in our lives.

I completely agree. I often prefer not to talk rather than engage into the painful exercise of saying a sentence, with the prospect that maybe people don't understand it or I have to repeat.

[happy7117]

I completely agree. I often prefer not to talk rather than engage into the painful exercise of saying a sentence, with the prospect that maybe people don't understand it or I have to repeat.

As I said before in my post above, what's the use in trying to talk when all we do is mess ourselves up my stuttering our brains off.

Yet, we have to communicate somehow to get by in this world. I just wish communicating didn't involve speech for stutterers.

[block411]

At times after a really bad stumble, I feel as though I should have known better. Should have kept silent, like I didn't deserve to give my thoughts.

Not the way to be though... keep fighting!

:)

[Violet]

As I said before in my post above, what's the use in trying to talk when all we do is mess ourselves up my stuttering our brains off.

I totally agree with you :(
Like when i have really bad stuttering days i HATE talking and just give up because i'm not gonna be able to communicate anything and will just look like a giant wit. :mad:

Yet, we have to communicate somehow to get by in this world. I just wish communicating didn't involve speech for stutterers.

People can communicate alot through body language, and obviously that isnt a substitute for speaking, but i find that by supporting my somewhat fractured speech with various facial expressions, hand movements, etc, i feel more "fluent" even though i'm not. Who knows, i might even come accross more fluent as well because what i can't say i allude to with body language, so they can understand me somewhat better, and there are less akward moments where they have no freaking idea what i'm going on about.. :p

[Thomkatt]

I do that constantly on a daily basis. Refraining from talking is what makes us most vulnerable to others offensive disrespectful behaviors. But then so does stuttering. Kind of a catch 22.

[needausername]

Do you ever feel the urge to just take a break from talking -seeing as its giving you so much trouble- and just take the backseat and not talk? At times i occasionally feel like this, such as right now, and i just pretty much stop talking when it isn't necessary because i cant bring myself to struggle again..

And i realise that this isolates yourself from everyone else, and i hate that fact, but sometimes i just need to have quiet time, where i can tune things out.. lol, its almost like a form of meditation..



Do you ever have the urge to just give up and stop talking/not try to say something because you know that you will never be able to communicate the message anyway? :(

I have on occasion when I am ticked off at myself because I was having a hard time speaking... stopped talking because it was so difficult to communicate my message. Or when I really want to get to know a person better ..try to start up a conversation.. but do not because I just know that I will stutter ( I feel myself silently blocking) and my stutter will make my message very hard to get across. That is one of the things that really hurts me about my stuttering, missing out on making friendships because it is so darn hard to communicate verbally.:(

[kwe]

There are many times I think that's it's just a waste of time trying to talk because it's too much of a struggle and I'll get impatient with myself.

Amen to that.

In my job there are sometimes meetings with maybe a dozen people with constant talking, and I'd just be sat there knowing it's simply not worth me bothering at all to join in.

Fortunately my immediate boss is pretty understanding, so these days gets me to do something else rather than endure the torture of big group meetings.

[jessicaabruno]

Know this feeling all too well. Please see the 2nd half of my intro for more detail. Learnt this lesson the hard way and still have times when I do talk when I shouldn't. At the same time they are getting less and less now.