Calling about my cable payment yesterday.

[happy7117]

I had to call about my cable bill yesterday. I was charged an extra month because they thought I had not payed it for last month. In fact I did pay it, it was just a few days late. I had to call and check the amount of this month's bill.

I had my father stick around just in case I f'd up the call with stuttering a ton. I stutterered very nasty and the lady could barely understand me. I had to have my dad take over because I could not do it adequately to be understood.

I felt so embarrassed, and mad.

My father said something after the call finaly ended- that somehow made me feel worse.

"You did fine Adam". When in fact I stuttered like hell, and felt like sh-- after. My father hates people who lie, but he lied about me sounding fine on the phone.

As a paremt, he must have said that to make me feel good when it actualy made me feel worse.

Here's the deal: I want to make these calls without having "mommy" or "daddy" bail me out when I stutter to much to do it on my own. I am 30 yrs. old and should not be putting this stuff off on them.

Yet when I make these calls, I stutter my brain off, and never get my message across. So I need someone else to do it with me.

It was NOT a good experience calling, and I've had enough of these calls where I am totaly mis-understood..

[emily445455]

You could use a phone relay service.

[grantM]

Have you tried practising calls everyday with no one on the phone or perhaps a friend?

[squint]

I usually use a phone relay service for this type of call, but that's just me chickening out.

Your dad likely did think you sounded fine. People who don't stutter, especially people who love us, really don't care that we stutter. We're our harshest judges, and it's hard for us to see ourselves through their eyes.

I started understanding that when I found the love of my life, who hammered that into my brain over and over because I found it impossible at first to think that was possible. Other people just don't care, and they think we're too hard on ourselves.

We are.

[Be YOURSELF]

Maybe your dad has seen your worst before.

I think you should also start adding your positive experiences.

[AstralMystic]

I can relate to your feelings abut your dad saying you sounded fine on the phone. My mother has done things like that many times too. Finally I just had to let her know full well that I don't like lairs and that lying to save my feeling is a bigger insult that simply saying it like it is. The constant sparing of feelings, by many people I know implies, as least to me that I actually have fragile feelings that are so easy to hurt in the first place. Anyone who knew me well enough in person and took the time to notice this, would realize that I am far from that. I do however think also that you dad didn't mean to lie to you at all. I came to realize over the last couple years that many parents don't seem even capable of saying a negative statement to their child's face, even if that child is well into adulthood.

[sst]

Here's the deal: I want to make these calls without having "mommy" or "daddy" bail me out when I stutter to much to do it on my own. I am 30 yrs. old and should not be putting this stuff off on them.

It might require spending your money on other things to help you achieve fluency. ;) Cable isn't one of those things.

[nate]

It might require spending your money on other things to help you achieve fluency. ;) Cable isn't one of those things.

totally uncalled for SST!:mad:
Shame!

i dont know how i survived 27...wait almost 28 yrs without FA Premiership live on DSTV. or comedy central. Or HBO. Or History channel,or Discovery, Or even cartoon network. how about A&E, Fox TV---them rascist mofo's, BC, Animal Planet, MTV...The only thing that is a bigger priority in my life is my babies milk. Oh and the girl.
Nate

[peebee]

I haven't had cable in years. You can watch anything you want online from the networks website. If they don't put their shows on their site: i.e. hbo and showtime, you can watch them on third party sites or download them.

Back when I dreaded making phone calls I would write out what I wanted to say. Do you study when you read? AGOFCR had some pretty good advice like usual

[Bill Hargis]

My wife made phone calls for me for many years. I see nothing wrong with that. I had to make calls at work though, like ordering parts. Often the person I talked would begin laughing, I would Immediately ask to talk to his/her supervisor. There would be an immediate apology and no more laughing.

[emily445455]

My wife made phone calls for me for many years. I see nothing wrong with that. I had to make calls at work though, like ordering parts. Often the person I talked would begin laughing, I would Immediately ask to talk to his/her supervisor. There would be an immediate apology and no more laughing.

I agree on both points. I usualy make my own phone calls, but if it's a call my hubby can make without it being weird, I usually ask him to do it.

Asking to speak to a manager is a good idea as well, I would hate to get someone fired, but maybe just a wake up call would be necessary to make some ppl grow up and at least pretend to act like a professional at work.

[kwe]

I usualy make my own phone calls, but if it's a call my hubby can make without it being weird, I usually ask him to do it.

Yeah, that's what I do too; I'll make my own calls if it'll seem really weird that someone else is phoning on my behalf.

Whenever possible and if it's not urgent I'll try to communicate with companies via email.

[Zachary]

You could use a phone relay service.

This
http://www.freerelay.com/

There ya go. All fixed.

[emily445455]

This
http://www.freerelay.com/

There ya go. All fixed.

Yes, this, thank you :)

[sst]

totally uncalled for SST!:mad:
Shame!

'Tis the truth. Sometimes we have to make sacrifices to get ahead in life. Plus, TV sucks anyways. Would anyone actually miss watching American Idol Season 20?

[sst]

Also, people are too dependent on material things these days.

[FearNoOne68]

I know how hard it is in making phone calls,this has always been my weakest point.Sometimes I just dont give a hoot about that fear and do it anyway,worst thats gonna happen is they will hang up on ya.At least then ya know ya gave it a shot,better than not doing it at all.I feel worse when I avoid.Just remember,we are our own worst critics...

[emily445455]

Also, people are too dependent on material things these days.

I 2nd this.

[DKoz]

'Tis the truth. Sometimes we have to make sacrifices to get ahead in life. Plus, TV sucks anyways. Would anyone actually miss watching American Idol Season 20?

I sure as heck don't! I do like watching the office though, but these days I stick to watching DVD's!

[sst]

I sure as heck don't! I do like watching the office though, but these days I stick to watching DVD's!

I love The Office. I have a few TV shows I love but I just use the good old-fashioned method of downloading. I'm too cheap to buy DVDs hehe.

[rodnorp]

Just call. Make them listen to you. Dont apoligize for your stutter. Use a relay service. Whatever you need to do. Cable is a luxury. If you want it. Get it.

[Jimmy169]

Here's the deal: I want to make these calls without having "mommy" or "daddy" bail me out when I stutter to much to do it on my own. I am 30 yrs. old and should not be putting this stuff off on them.

Yet when I make these calls, I stutter my brain off, and never get my message across. So I need someone else to do it with me.

It was NOT a good experience calling, and I've had enough of these calls where I am totaly mis-understood..

Alright well, here's the thing. When it come's to our stutter, there are some situations where it would make sense to really care what the other person thinks, maybe your boss at work, a girl you like, etc. But here's the cool thing when it come's to something like calling the cable company, or any company for that matter. There are a ton of them on the phone, so if you mess up, you can always call back and try again, you can do this as many time's as you want and will prob. get someone else everytime. And you'll never see these people in person, will prob. never talk to them again as there are so many workers there and new one's going in and out all the time. So they're really not important, whats important is getting the answer to your question.

If you have a question from them, don't run from the question, just call them and get it over with, kinda helps me to think of it that way, that I might as well just get it over with and call now. So you do, and if your stutter is really bad, hang up and try again. What do they care they're getting paid, they'll prob. never hear from you again, and you'll get someone new next time. If they inturrupt you or make it harder for you by asking what what whated you say, just hang in there they have to hear you out it's their job, no matter how many time's they say what just keep at it, eventually the word will come out but it's easier for them word to come out when you try to relax or take a breath for a second, for me it seems the more i try to force a word out on the phone the more stuck i get.

But most importantly keep in mind you'll never see these people, you'll prob get someone new everytime you call so it's really no biggie. The best way to get over having someone to lean on is to just do it, you need to make a phone call, you make it. Procrastinating won't make the call go away, you'll need to make it anyway so might as well get it over with so you can move on with your life ya know. I used to hate calling until I decided when I needed to call no matter what mood I'm in, if I feel like I'll stutter bad or not, I'm gonna make that damn call and get it over with because I hated thinking about it, and that made it easier for me, because the more you do it the more relaxed you are next time you do it, cause you already know the worst that could happen and you've already been through it with your last call so how much worse can the next one be? When you need to make a call, just get it over with, don't even think of whether to do it or not, just do it.

[Jimmy169]

Oh also when I have a real hard time with my stutter I'd get the words out "pardon my stuttering" and they would always say "oh it's no problem" or something like that, it'd make it easier on me because they'd then know whats going on and wouldn't be saying "what" all the time thinking they've lost connection when I've hit a speech block.

[Jimmy169]

When it come's to your dad I'm sure he was trying to be supportive. Always remember he means well, and that's all you need to know.

[Standingtall]

I had to call about my cable bill yesterday. I was charged an extra month because they thought I had not payed it for last month. In fact I did pay it, it was just a few days late. I had to call and check the amount of this month's bill.

"You did fine Adam". When in fact I stuttered like hell, and felt like sh-- after. My father hates people who lie, but he lied about me sounding fine on the phone.

As a paremt, he must have said that to make me feel good when it actualy made me feel worse.

Here's the deal: I want to make these calls without having "mommy" or "daddy" bail me out when I stutter to much to do it on my own. I am 30 yrs. old and should not be putting this stuff off on them.

Yet when I make these calls, I stutter my brain off, and never get my message across. So I need someone else to do it with me.

It was NOT a good experience calling, and I've had enough of these calls where I am totaly mis-understood..
Hey Adam, don't be so hard on ur parents, they care a lot for u and they will do what they can to help u. Take pride in the fact that u had some business to do and u picked up that phone and made that call. U reached the outcome but it may not be in the matter u want, that will happen sooner than later. I recommended u think of what u want to accomplish and how u want to do it and believe me ur stutter will be push further back to the end of the line. It works for me. :)

[andrewg818]

like you, everyone/your parents R doing the best they can..

it sounds like fear or no fear...excruciating tension or no tension, you got the call done and the bill fixed, right ?
your dad probably didn't feel like saying "man, you were awful"...that's the voice in YOUR head that tells you that all the time.
Here's a question-- WHAT IF, hypothetically, you could keep on stuttering AND change the self-talk..the voice in your head from one of self loathing, self beating up..self "why me? why does this happen to me"-- to one that TRULY becomes as loving, supportive etc; as your Dad's was ? What if you could TRULY learn to SEE YOURSELF as "doing just fine"--whether you stutter or not ? Are these thigns impossible? only in the current labryinth of your mind.. It is ABSOLUTELY possible-- you'll admit to yourself in silence--to learn a NEW way..a way of FREEDOM.. a way of self support--a way where instances like the cable call do not become food for a self critical appetite--but rather.. nothing even worth mentioning here.. Start visualizing.. IMAGINE..and LET YOURSELF FREE !

hugs,
andrew greenstein