Getting My Haircut Today!!! Should I have decked him???

[happy7117]

I went to get a haircut today, and I kept on having them larnyx stopages-- the barber who is a wicked nice guy- started making jokes about it and laughing....It was very easy for me to deck him--
but i would of gotten arrested!! It was these
uncontrollable stutterings-absolutlesy no delayed voice for me to hear that wold slow me down....

And worse the NO DAF device or fluency master aid to help me n this situatin.....

I should have decked him....

When I was done--I had to use the mens room
before I left.... I went in the men's room not to use
the stall, but to flip off the barber....

I closed the door, and I gave him the middle
finger-- as way to say **** you-- dirtbag....

He had the nerve to mock me-- he deserved
that dirty gesture---- still felt like decking him...
then the crybaby would call the cops- id be arrested!!!! I obviosuly can't deck the cops, but I would tell them it was self-defense for being
verbally abused.....

It also happened with the city bus driver!!!

Of corse, blind people or deaf people, dont get
treated like dirt...

But mentally challenged and stuttering people do....
at least now I know how mentally challenged people
must feel when they got ridiculed- like punchng
someone..

Feel free to add to my hatred of those
who make fun of us or to comment on the
above experience.!!! Or in other words::

SCUMBUMS!!

[Flash]

Why did you make this thread if you posted almost the exact same thing in the thread Benefits? (http://www.stutteringforum.com/forums/showthread.php?t=340) ? :confused:

Anyways, I know how you feel. I've wanted topunch a lot of people.....Especially at school. But, I never have because it's thinking of the consequences which stop me I guess. And also, it wouldn't solve anything.

Why didn't you just get up and leave? or maybe you could of told him something? Such as that you don't feel comfortable with his remarks. I think you should of left and not payed them anything and definetely no tips either.

[happy7117]

Whoops.. actually after i posted it in Benefits section..
I guess I decided to add more to the message when I
already posted it....I'll just delete that part!!!!

Well actually that's a great idea not to pay-- but if I
don't pay i get arrested!!

As for the tip-- your right- I should
of definately not have tipped him.. but then
again it's the only place near my home
that does haircuts.. and I probably would not be let back if customers don't tip....then again after the way he treated me, who would want to see the same barber?? Not me!!

[Flash]

If you want, you could just go back to the Benefits? (http://www.stutteringforum.com/forums/showthread.php?t=340) thread. Then go to edit. Next, hit delete post. And finally, your done. :) You don't have though....only if you want to. :D

[happy7117]

I did 2 seconds ago...I definately want no redundant postings of
the same topic...

[Neptunes]

SCUMBUMS indeed happy7117, when I get my hair cut I just dont tend to say anything giving the impression that I am just a quiet person, but if they start talking to you which is what I suspect heppend in your case, you would have no choice but to try and convesrse. I would have felt like decking him aswell if he had started laughing and joking, Personally I would have waited untill he had finished and then told him what I thought of him. Telling him that he was the one with the problem or something like that. Or as you did, give him the finger, at least you got your message across, this must have made you feel better! :)

[Neptunes]

Why didn't you just get up and leave? or maybe you could of told him something? Such as that you don't feel comfortable with his remarks. I think you should of left and not payed them anything and definetely no tips either.

Flash, I think if he had just got up and left he would have ended up with a very dodgy haircut mate! ;)

[Flash]

Flash, I think if he had just got up and left he would have ended up with a very dodgy haircut mate! ;)Well, thats assuming that the barber only started making those inappropriate remarks duuring the haircut. But if the barber began making the remarks even before he started cutting happy7117's hair, then he could of just left. The only problem then would be, as Happy7117 mentioned before, that there is no other place near his home that does hair cuts.

So my solution to Happy7117.....just cut it all off and go bald! :).....Just kidding :D

[happy7117]

SCUMBUMS indeed happy7117, when I get my hair cut I just dont tend to say anything giving the impression that I am just a quiet person, but if they start talking to you which is what I suspect heppend in your case, you would have no choice but to try and convesrse. I would have felt like decking him aswell if he had started laughing and joking, Personally I would have waited untill he had finished and then told him what I thought of him. Telling him that he was the one with the problem or something like that. Or as you did, give him the finger, at least you got your message across, this must have made you feel better! :)

It's common for any barber to make chit chat with their customers- but with a stutter thing, it makes
it annoyingly inconvenient of course...

I should of said something like: "I thought you were
a wicked nice guy, but after today, you
sure turned that thought around-I'm sorry but
that mocking deserves me not to tip you"...

If one gets humor from mocking one's inconvenience--
I don't know-- they just seem not worth my time
or company...

[Flash]

It's common for any barber to make chit chat with their customers- but with a stutter thing, it makes
it annoyingly inconvenient of course...

I should of said something like: "I thought you were
a wicked nice guy, but after today, you
sure turned that thought around-I'm sorry but
that mocking deserves me not to tip you"...

If one gets humor from mocking one's inconvenience--
I don't know-- they just seem not worth my time
or company...That's what I was talking about earlier. That would've been a great respone to his disrespectfulness. You would still have to pay him for the hair cut since he did give you the service, but no tips because you weren't satisfied with the way in which he conducted himself. People who are trying to sell you something should always show their customers nothing less than the utmost in politeness and courtesy. Giving him no tip and commenting back on his remarkes probably would've made him learn his lesson.

[happy7117]

And plus-- I most likely would be glad to come back,
after maybe a little apology...

Had he apoligized, I would have said "no problem",
and tipped him...

Too bad I never thought of that at the time....

Perhaps since he never heard that stutter squeaky thing before, his reaction was probably of
not knowing how to react..anything out
of the norm makes one feel awkward!!!

[Big Jay]

i would have to say you made a right choice by not decking him I would have left him NO Tip and if he asked why I would have let him known

[tb1223]

I always get uncomfortable during haircuts for this reason. It's either awkwardly silent, or the conversation is equally awkward and involves me stuttering. This is why I tend to put off getting haircuts. Imagine, the reason I let my hair grow long is indirectly because of my stuttering. It really does affect EVERY part of our lives.

[Roley]

You should have told him relatively loudly that you won't back. Then don't go back. You don't have to deal with a moron like that.

As far as the bus driver goes, get the bus number, and write a letter or send an e-mail to the person in charge of the bus system -- or the mayor. I've done that sort of thing before, and it's very effective. I don't want to get back on the disability thing, but use that word, and you'll get their attention.

We've got to fight back (peacefully) ladies and gentlemen. We have our rights, too, you know.

[emily445455]

Did you tell him you stutter/stammer? perhaps if he knew he wouldn't have done it.

Or it's just time to find a new barber. :)

[Bill Hargis]

It's a shame that we have to let people like that barber live. Find another barber, losing your business will hurt him more than anything. I have walked away from salespeople when they laughed at me, they lost a commission, I have also complained to the manager and gotten people fired. The manager wants our business.

[Roley]

Go Bill! I've done the same thing, and hopefully have gotten people fired.

[emily445455]

Do people really laugh at stutters a lot? I've never had mine laughed at...then again I think mine is pretty mild...and I stutter less in front of people I don't know.

[Roley]

Emily, I'm in the same boat as you, except that my stuttering is pretty severe. I've had very few people over the years laugh at me. I'm wondering where the people who have had this problem live.

[Bill Hargis]

Another thing that works when someone laughs at you . Just say hey what is so damn funny. that usually stops the laughing. I was severe until I got my speecheasy at age 62, so I've seen and done it all and dealt with all kinds of cruel, stupid, and ignorant people. I have enjoyed 99% fluency for the past six years.

[Charlieb]

I've come across a few ass*oles in my time, They used find it funny to pull the piss when I would stammer. Over the years, although it doesn't happen much with adults I do find one every so often and I have found a method to deal with them.

People need approval,
Have you ever noticed that when somebody tells a joke the first thing they do is look around to see whos laughing? They are looking for approval, somebody to say "hey I find you funny". Take that away from them and they are the class idiot, the ass*ole that nobody wants to talk to. How you do that is relatively simple.

Happy, I would go back to that barber, and if he does it again, look to the nearest person you can find, (not this jerk) and say in your sternest voice "DO YOU FIND HIM FUNNY?" as if you are blaming them for his behaviour, Nine times out of ten they turn to look away and reply "No" then ask the next person and the next, you will quickly see that his former audience quickly evapourates leaving this gobshite all alone! No longer funny.

You have got to be strong, Stronger than this guy thinks he is, by your behaviour and body language you can reduce this piece of Shit to exactly that.

Giving him the bird and trying to retaliate with minor name calling reduces the situation to the school playground where grown up rules do not apply.

You don't need to deck somebody to lay them them.

Be Strong.
Rgds,
Charlie.

[bwelling]

Happy - as cruel and as offensive it appears to us - it is funny to many. Cartoonist, comedians and movie directors have been very successful showing how funny stuttering can be. We just can't get past the insult and outrage to consider that it may be funny.

bw

[emily445455]

We just can't get past the insult and outrage to consider that it may be funny.

bw

People need to realize that it's not though...

[JDRow]

People need to realize that it's not though...

I agree. I don't think anybody needs to be hit, but I also don't think saying that people find joking about stuttering funny is an excuse for anybody doing it. People find racist jokes funny, too, but that doesn't mean that racism is okay. People find all sorts of things funny that they shouldn't, and just because you can get a laugh out of people by saying or doing something doesn't mean that it's therefore okay.

I know that stuttering can cause genuinely funny situations, where a person might be laughing with a stutterer, but that's completely different from laughing at somebody. It seems like blaming the victim to say that it's the stutterer's fault for not being able to just laugh and let it go, like it would be to blame a black person for not just laughing at somebody's racist joke. I think that people sometimes use humor as an excuse for saying very hateful things and for hurting other people, and that shouldn't be acceptable. If somebody hurts another person with a joke, then I think that person is at fault, and not the person who's hurt.

I guess I'm just tired of people saying awful things and then thinking they can explain it away with "It was just a joke."

[Standingtall]

I would not have decked him or left him a tip, because i am not the one with the problem. He is the one that has the problem that he has to belittle me to make him self seem better. I would walk out with pride and dignity and act like i didn't hear him, but i would find some way to release that stress later.

[nate]

I'm impressed u didnt deck him. I'm six foot four and the last time I hit someone, more than ten years ago, I broke their face. i feel guilty about it till today. Dont be violent coz sometimes people do laugh coz they feel awkward, but its a good idea to stand up to bullies and show them that u r not something to be played with. But sinve you actually like this guy maybe you should go over when he's not busy and tell him how you feel about his comments. Most people are very sorry when they realise and it'll amke u feel better. u might even get a free haircut!
nate

[Standingtall]

Goodness me, a very old post resurfacing.
The good way for an old poster to resurface, eh!! Long time Steve, still playing with your wood in your wood shop. Remember don't use too much varnish, you will have a fire sale. Good to see you back POT!

[nate]

Good to see you back POT!

Yeah good 2 c u back POT

[jekintel5]

I always get uncomfortable during haircuts for this reason. It's either awkwardly silent, or the conversation is equally awkward and involves me stuttering. This is why I tend to put off getting haircuts. Imagine, the reason I let my hair grow long is indirectly because of my stuttering. It really does affect EVERY part of our lives.

I agress with u. It does affect EVERY part of our lives.

[happy7117]

Long time Steve, still playing with your wood in your wood shop. Remember don't use too much varnish, you will have a fire sale. Good to see you back POT!

I love Standingtall's and Power Of Three's banter. Send in the clowns!