My story. Can you relate?

[Kevin]

Hey, my names Kevin, im 19 and am currently in California. I first began stuttering when I was in middle school, mainly on words that start in "st" or starting a sentence with "do you". That all slowly began to fade away and I would just avoid words that would make me stutter until I just no longer thought about it anymore. But recently (over the weekend) it seems to be coming back again, with some people I can be fine (such as my girlfriend) but with others I wont be (such as an uncle). I called my uncle over the weekend and had issues saying my name, is that a common thing? I don't have issues saying anyone elses name, just my own. And just earlier today I stuttered on "Do you want -?" when asking someone a question, and saying "do" several times before I moved on. I don't consider my stutter too severe, usually repeat words or noises 2 or 3 times before I move on when I do stutter, but I just find it weird on when I do stutter. Its a really situational thing, with people I see everyday it gets worse, but with people I dont see every day or people I will never see (people online with microphones) im fine. Just trying not to over think it because the more I think or worry about it the more frequent it happens. Just wondering really if im alone on all this, haven't met many people that stutter so would be nice to get other peoples perspectives.
-Kevin

[emily445455]

It is common for stutterers to have a hard time saying their names, and stuttering is usually very situation-specific :) I'm sure many of us can relate.

[Box of Clocks]

I can relate to much of what you are saying. I generally find that my stuttering is pretty much not an issue at all with some people and with others it can be fairly severe. I think I'm a bit different to you though in that I stutter less with people I know well and more with those I'm not so comfortable with.

I also have a lot of trouble saying my name.

[spacebow]

Kevin, my situation is exactly like yours. I am a mild stutterer and started stuttering between 6th and 7th grade and have tried avoiding words that I stutter on. But for me, I couldn't just keep avoiding them until I don't feel anxious about them anymore since I am too conscious. Instead, I keep forcing myself to say them, regardless if I do end up stuttering, until I become desensitized. And I agree, when I am the one that's asking a question or starting a conversation, I have a much tougher time.

Nevertheless, I think for a mild stutterer, you have a lot of things going right for you. Since you have a girlfriend, I'm willing to bet you are assertive and have a good social life. You have nothing to worry about man.

[StutteringJack]

Kevin,

What you are experiencing is very normal for stuttering. You are stuttering with authority figures and your uncle probably falls into that category. You are stuttering when you are unsure. You are stuttering when you ask for something and particularly stuttering on the exact word that gives the whole request meaning. You are stuttering with people who expect you to stutter. This is all normal behaviour. It is all the inner child expressing submission to protect the adult in you.

I cannot go into too much detail here, that is why I have a stuttering help blog that I write, but learn to identify the way you are thinking and feeling when you are speaking fluently and how you are thinking and feeling when you are stuttering. Learn to accept that you are fluent when you feel confident and powerful and don't feel that you need to give away that confidence, power and control to a face or a voice that you feel is "greater than". Just becuase you feel confident does not meant that you are making the other person fell uncomfortable. Understand that it is the child within you that is the stutterer and it is trying sometimes (in a strange way) to protect the adult from perceived harm. Get your inner adult to talk to the inner child and tell it that speaking fluently to certain people is OK.

Learn what makes Kevin tick and give yourself permission to experiment with changing the way little Kevin sees the world and dare to be more assertive and confidentce but do it with love and concern for other feelings. Don't use the power and confidence that is innate within you to dominate and harm others.

That's enough for you to absorbe for now. All the best. You are not alone. You are quite normal and you will conquer stuttering if you really want to but understand that there are many vines that are wrapped around you that are supporting the stuttering that you have to find and begin to unwind. Hint: One of them is judgement!

[WhiteLatinoBoy]

first of all i can relate to you because i am 19 and live in california too. haha

yeah stuttering can be veryyyy situational and it just depends on the vibe u get around certain people i guess. i personally dont have people that i stutter more with and others where i dont at all. the stuttering is constantly there no matter who u are because im simply paranoid all the time. i worry too much about it, like how im going to sound and what people will think. i know everyone will say "dont pay attention to wat people are thinking" but i just do. i cant help it sometimes. but things are starting to look up. i recently met this girl that i met at a concert and with my paranoid-self i asked her the day after if she noticed my speech. she said ya but its very mild and that made me feel really good and im comfortable about not hiding it around her anymore. i tried so hard not to stutter when i met her haha. i like to get it out there so i dont have to worry about it around new people..

[Kevin]

Thanks for all your kind words, I really appreciate it. It feels good knowing that im not alone with my stutter. And it makes sense to be stuttering infront of authority figures, never thought of it that way but it really is the way it is.

Wish all you the best of luck!
-Kevin

[Thomkatt]

Kevin for what it's worth, I just started Pagoclone and it seems to turn that voice of in your head that thinks I will or won't stutter on certain words and makes me a bit more confident. This leads to more surprise blocks lol but they arn't as bad.

[Jaykon]

Kevin for what it's worth, I just started Pagoclone and it seems to turn that voice of in your head that thinks I will or won't stutter on certain words and makes me a bit more confident. This leads to more surprise blocks lol but they arn't as bad.

wow thats cool, cant wait til its out

[pamm]

Hi Kevin.

I am an adult who has stuttered since 5 years old. I have repittitions of sylables or whole words, prolongatins and some minor blocking. I also sometimes squeeze one eye shut, which seems to be a little more evident for me. There are lots of PWS out here, these forums are a great place to find people who share similiar experiences.

I am at the point in my stuttering journey that I finally allow myself to stutter freely. Its part of me, and I am no longer ashamed like I used to be.


Pam