Dug23
11-12-2005, 12:35 AM
Hey all
Well most of my teenage years i managed to avoid any disasters in stuttering and controlled my speech pretty good. Then at 17 I had to do a sports report infront of the whole school and completely flunked it... Luckily it was the end of term and could run home but it was by far the worst day of my life. For my entire school life i'd hidden my stutter and in this one instance... splat! Couldn't say barely any words or names. I didnt leave my room for days after. Now 6 years on i feel im still fighting to get my confidence back and that one event that still haunts me. The really weird thing looking back is that not one person ever laughed or made fun of me for it.. infact several people came up and said well done for standing up there. Even people in the lower years... It was never mentioned by anyone again except me. In my mind i know that everyone forgot about that one assembly but not me; after school i went to University and managed to get through the 3 years without any slip ups- i tended to chose modules that didnt involve oral presentations. However I also chose some modules that did because i liked the topics and was determined not to let my fear beat me. Now im doing a phd, interviews and i will have to teach next year. Im still worried the 'beast' will rise its ugly head again at the worst moment; but at the same time im determined not to run. I still stammer when nervous or stressed (I tend to lack confidence and this can be just making a phone call) but i try not to lose perspective on what is actually important. Anyway this isnt meant to be a peptalk or anything like that. I haven't told anyone this; not my family, girlfriend or friends but it feels good to get this off my chest.
Well most of my teenage years i managed to avoid any disasters in stuttering and controlled my speech pretty good. Then at 17 I had to do a sports report infront of the whole school and completely flunked it... Luckily it was the end of term and could run home but it was by far the worst day of my life. For my entire school life i'd hidden my stutter and in this one instance... splat! Couldn't say barely any words or names. I didnt leave my room for days after. Now 6 years on i feel im still fighting to get my confidence back and that one event that still haunts me. The really weird thing looking back is that not one person ever laughed or made fun of me for it.. infact several people came up and said well done for standing up there. Even people in the lower years... It was never mentioned by anyone again except me. In my mind i know that everyone forgot about that one assembly but not me; after school i went to University and managed to get through the 3 years without any slip ups- i tended to chose modules that didnt involve oral presentations. However I also chose some modules that did because i liked the topics and was determined not to let my fear beat me. Now im doing a phd, interviews and i will have to teach next year. Im still worried the 'beast' will rise its ugly head again at the worst moment; but at the same time im determined not to run. I still stammer when nervous or stressed (I tend to lack confidence and this can be just making a phone call) but i try not to lose perspective on what is actually important. Anyway this isnt meant to be a peptalk or anything like that. I haven't told anyone this; not my family, girlfriend or friends but it feels good to get this off my chest.