So frustrating, i need help..

[Jjake]

My stuttering has gotten so out of hand the last few months its sickening to me. I used to have no problem dealing with it, i honestly believe that god has a plan, and everything happens for the best. But i can't deal with it any more.

Theres this girl at work that i have been into for almost a year now, and im starting to think she might be into me as well as she keeps trying to start conversations with me, but i can never follow through and keep the conversation going. I myself cannot start a freakin conversation with her. I tell my self, i dont even care if we start dating, i just want to have ONE decent conversation with this girl that im so into. I see all these other total jackass's with so much confidence always talking and starting conversations with her that are so cheesy, but have no problem at all getting it out what they want to say like i do, its disgusting to me.

I dont even have a problem finding conversation topics any more, its just the factual fears that im going to make a total jackass of my self. I know what i want to say, and i want to get it out, but it just wont come out... Seriously what the hell am i supposed to do? I feel like this is starting to ruin my life, i fear in 5-6 years from now im going to regret not making a move, but i cant freakin do it! Literally, i cannot do it. Now im not trying to gain sympathy because i know for a fact that my stuttering is not nearly as worse as it could be, but i have this girl on my mind almost every day, and from the little i know about stuttering i feel its almost in some way making my stuttering worse. Like i said i have what i would call a mild stutter that comes up at the worse times, and has just recently been flaring up, (7-8) months ago.... ANY advice... please someone..

[hafidmetal]

hello there:)..after reading ur post i feel the same way..we all stutters we are in the same situtions..me too recently my stuttering got so bad may cus recently i work a lot and it makes me tired and also cus last mounths i have been so sad and depressive due to some issues in my life....but im sure things cud be a bit better when things are allright...just go and start this converstation with this gurl,,give it a try,u wont lose nothing man..kijust be calm and talk slowly and smile..wish u the best man...

[Stamr]

I have an idea... Now I don't know what kind of a stutter you have, to me it sounds like it's gotten worse because you have anxiety about stuttering (same as me) so... how about you just flirt nicely, instead of making convo at first... Do something funny to catch her attention, ease into it. After that, she will prob start to talk to you and once you start talking to her, your anxiety will ease. Sometimes you have to trick your mind... if you know what I mean. You could even tell yourself youre better than her (even though you arent actually thinking that) you know what I mean? then that might give you confidence to just talk to her.

It all depends on where you work, and what kind of work setting youre in though. I'm just going by my own experiences.

[Thecoherentman]

My stuttering has gotten so out of hand the last few months its sickening to me. I used to have no problem dealing with it, i honestly believe that god has a plan, and everything happens for the best. But i can't deal with it any more.

... I tell my self, i dont even care if we start dating, i just want to have ONE decent conversation with this girl that im so into. ...

I dont even have a problem finding conversation topics any more, its just the factual fears that im going to make a total jackass of my self. I know what i want to say, and i want to get it out, but it just wont come out... Seriously what the hell am i supposed to do? I feel like this is starting to ruin my life, i fear in 5-6 years from now im going to regret not making a move, but i cant freakin do it! Literally, i cannot do it. Now im not trying to gain sympathy because i know for a fact that my stuttering is not nearly as worse as it could be, but i have this girl on my mind almost every day, and from the little i know about stuttering i feel its almost in some way making my stuttering worse. Like i said i have what i would call a mild stutter that comes up at the worse times, and has just recently been flaring up, (7-8) months ago.... ANY advice... please someone..

Jjake,

Spontaneous recovery of stuttering that happens to 80% of stuttering children and also rarely to stuttering young adults only happens after a flare up of stuttering. So, nothing wrong if suddenly you are stuttering so bad that no block can be overcome. That bad news would be if you regain the ability to CONTROL your stuttering. The runaway stuttering may fizzle out by itself.

From your words I only see your infatuation without serious positive feeling. So talk to her and let her go.

[Jjake]

Jjake,

Spontaneous recovery of stuttering that happens to 80% of stuttering children and also rarely to stuttering young adults only happens after a flare up of stuttering. So, nothing wrong if suddenly you are stuttering so bad that no block can be overcome. That bad news would be if you regain the ability to CONTROL your stuttering. The runaway stuttering may fizzle out by itself.

From your words I only see your infatuation without serious positive feeling. So talk to her and let her go.

Not quite understanding fully what your trying to say, anyways i stuttered all my life, but so little i never even noticed, when i was younger only once in a while my friends would point it out that i stuttered on a couple words. Up till now I have never stuttered this bad, so i didn't recover anything, stuttering is not anything new to me, although stuttering this severely is brand new to me. Im trying to stop it before it gets worse.

So talk to her


If it was that easy i would be on the phone asking how her day was right now.... I have been shy my whole life, and i know this will be hard to believe but i know for a fact stuttering had absolutely nothing to do with my shyness. My shyness is not holding me back from starting a conversation with her, my stuttering is... i literally cannot say anything to her without a block.

Let her go
Bro if i could let her go believe me i would. Thats not going to happen anytime soon. Maybe i'll get over her sooner or later, but I don't want to have my 25th birthday in 5 years, and have never had a serious relationship all because of my stuttering...

[Jjake]

Stamr, thanks for the advice im not the best at flirting, but im going to have to make something happen..


It all depends on where you work, and what kind of work setting youre in though. I'm just going by my own experiences.

Kinda odd working settings, somedays we'll work in the same area other times it will be in complete opposite sides of the building. I find my self telling my self before i go into work that i wish we wouldnt be working in the same area so that after a full day of thinking about her and seeing her, i wouldnt have to kick my self the rest of my day for not even attempting to talk her. Atleast if shes in the opposite side of the building the whole day i have an excuse for not saying anything. Ehh.. kinda pathetic isn't it?

[drederick]

i know for a fact stuttering had absolutely nothing to do with my shyness. My shyness is not holding me back from starting a conversation with her, my stuttering is... i literally cannot say anything to her without a block.

Do you mean to say that you try to talk to her and start blocking, and she walks away as you are blocking? Does she realize you are blocking when she walks away? Or you start blocking in front of her and she sits there attentively, and after 5 minutes you have to give up and walk away?

[Thecoherentman]

Not quite understanding fully what your trying to say, anyways i stuttered all my life, but so little i never even noticed, when i was younger only once in a while my friends would point it out that i stuttered on a couple words. Up till now I have never stuttered this bad, so i didn't recover anything, stuttering is not anything new to me, although stuttering this severely is brand new to me. Im trying to stop it before it gets worse.

I am saying that spontaneous recovery (when stuttering cures by itself, exactly what you need) usually happens after a flare up. You are young and you have a chance. Just take it easy. I suggest that you take a foreign summer vacation. Let your stuttering to be free without any kind of force or struggle. When you stutter you better fail to by pass the stuttering than force and succeed to break your blocks.


If it was that easy i would be on the phone asking how her day was right now.... I have been shy my whole life, and i know this will be hard to believe but i know for a fact stuttering had absolutely nothing to do with my shyness. My shyness is not holding me back from starting a conversation with her, my stuttering is... i literally cannot say anything to her without a block.


Bro if i could let her go believe me i would. Thats not going to happen anytime soon. Maybe i'll get over her sooner or later, but I don't want to have my 25th birthday in 5 years, and have never had a serious relationship all because of my stuttering...

I am saying that it appears that you are infatuated (not real love) and you have taken it as a challenge. So, it is only healthy if you have a conversation with her, no matter how bad the "result." Here you must not win as otherwise you will learn to repeat this bad behavior also. To look at a girl as a conquest and be concerned only about your own performance is a bad behavior. You must deal with it and learn.

[stutteringgirl4]

My stuttering has gotten so out of hand the last few months its sickening to me. I used to have no problem dealing with it, i honestly believe that god has a plan, and everything happens for the best. But i can't deal with it any more.

Theres this girl at work that i have been into for almost a year now, and im starting to think she might be into me as well as she keeps trying to start conversations with me, but i can never follow through and keep the conversation going. I myself cannot start a freakin conversation with her. I tell my self, i dont even care if we start dating, i just want to have ONE decent conversation with this girl that im so into. I see all these other total jackass's with so much confidence always talking and starting conversations with her that are so cheesy, but have no problem at all getting it out what they want to say like i do, its disgusting to me.

I dont even have a problem finding conversation topics any more, its just the factual fears that im going to make a total jackass of my self. I know what i want to say, and i want to get it out, but it just wont come out... Seriously what the hell am i supposed to do? I feel like this is starting to ruin my life, i fear in 5-6 years from now im going to regret not making a move, but i cant freakin do it! Literally, i cannot do it. Now im not trying to gain sympathy because i know for a fact that my stuttering is not nearly as worse as it could be, but i have this girl on my mind almost every day, and from the little i know about stuttering i feel its almost in some way making my stuttering worse. Like i said i have what i would call a mild stutter that comes up at the worse times, and has just recently been flaring up, (7-8) months ago.... ANY advice... please someone..

I have the EXACT SAME problem. Theres this guy I like and I think he likes me too but I cant talk to him. And seriously, if Im nervous, I cant get a word out without blocking so I dont think talking to him would go over to well. I really feel for ya but I have the same problems and like you, I have no clue what to do.

[Jjake]

Do you mean to say that you try to talk to her and start blocking, and she walks away as you are blocking? Does she realize you are blocking when she walks away? Or you start blocking in front of her and she sits there attentively, and after 5 minutes you have to give up and walk away?

No, ive never made eye contact with her while having a block. Usually i'll see her and have something on my mind that i want to say, but i can sense a block coming so i just won't even bother.

Honestly she seems to nice of a girl to simply walk away if that were to happen. Still im too afraid of that kind of confrontation, especially with all the jokers at my work always around.

I am saying that it appears that you are infatuated (not real love)

Maybe so, but i have never felt this way about a girl. Guess time will tell. Anyways iv been taking this daily vitamin pack the past couple of days, and i noticed yesterday i was having almost full on conversations with only mild stuttering on some two syllable words. Of course this was speaking to guys ive known for a while, not yet to this girl. Ahh.. well we'll see what happens.

[Dan mac]

Hey Jjake,
I didn't even try to read your post because i know what you are going through. I know its not easy to live in this world. But guess what you have to (THAT'S HOW LIFE WORKS for people who shutter like us). You have to stay positive because there is no way out. May be practice you techniques daily and TRY TO SLOW YOURSELF down. Take your time and stretch each word because when we speak slowly, the chances of shuttering is very low. I really hope that works for you.

Bye( BE positive and KEEP YOUR HEAD UP)

[Dontwanttostutt]

I'm in the same boat. My stuttering is pretty much untreatable now. There used to be MANY periods where I COULD actually speak, and speak calmly, relaxedly, and FLUENTLY. I mean, stuttering wasn't even on my mind. I went to Hollins in 1997, PERFECT. I left with about 90 percent or so fluency. I tried airflow for a while, near perfect. I scanned words a lot, but those were the only words that I got stuck on/blocked on. I went back to the Hollins technique in December of 2009, and was GOOD overall. For a few months anyway. Now, I was far from perfect, but there were situations that I could do, like go into a restaurant, order, call an operator, etc. And there were VERY very few times that I got SO stuck that I couldn't get out of it and had to write it down because I was standing there for MINUTES and nothing was coming out. There was also this really PAINFUL interview. It was AWFUL. I've had a few more interviews since then. Those went MUCH better, even though I didn't get most of the jobs. Right now, it's pretty much useless. Every T, every B, every P, every S, every Q, K, etc blocks me. No matter what I do, I can't talk. It's gotten to the point where I literally lock up just THINKING of talking. There's pretty much nowhere to go from here. My fluency was good while it lasted. Now I'm unemployable and back to being a total worthless useless non-entity who avoids everything and everybody. A life without speech isn't really a life worth living. If it keeps on going like this, well, luckily, I have a plan that I think I can carry out. Good luck to you. You're probably doing a LOT better then me, if that gives you any comfort, and I'm being sincere.

[nerrad]

i honestly believe that god has a plan, and everything happens for the best.

This is exactly what I tell myself everyday. This mentality has actually shaped my view of who, or rather what, God is. I think that one die I'm going to be one valuable person. Right now things are hard but things get dark before they can get light.

[SimpleGuy]

Hey Jjake,

I feel on what your saying, I went through same issues at work as well. Liked this pretty lady, but was not able to speak out and tell her I like her and take her out on a date.

I guess life is hard on us, but we must speak out rather than being quiet or else we will always be in stress.

I wish you the very best in your life :)

[Steven]

why not try NOT CARING what you say but just saying something fluently...

since you observe the others saying a bunch of meaningless shit to her yet they are fluent maybe you are so concerned about saying all the things you would like to say but can't fluently why not START OUT saying things you don't care that much about saying and when you establish fluency with saying these things then mayby the fluency will CARRY into when you say the things you really want to say......
if i was to think about things I would like to say my stuttering would get worse.....