frustration even in my work!

[hafidmetal]

hello guys,,im not the type of person who whine and complain a lot but its just too much when i cant feel comfortable at all even in my job,i alwyze thought working lower jobs,,like employees in fast food restaurants wont entails lots of communications but apparently whtever job u have its needs communication.....recently i start working in a puzza hut restaurant(its not my type of job and u know wht i mean,i could have been working a good job if i wasnt a stutterer)but the good thing is that i alwye wanted to study culinary art and working in a restuarnt is something that i thought i will love cus there wont be lots of communication and its an enthusiastic job,today and after like a mounth of working i feel miserable,depressed and my stuttering got worse cus i have to talk and respond with people there..i tried to get along with all p)eople there bit its so hard esp with some females who have noticed my stuttering and also this guy that i didnt like at all and who did laugh at my stuttering,i feel disgusted by him seruiosly and the worse thing is that i cant even defend myself and tell him who the i am in real and that im better then him, this leads me to keep all these feelings inside me and this scares me cus i come back home so ed up and hating everything,now i fell like i wanna leave this job but i got no other alternative as its hard to find a job here in morocco esp lower jobs.i feel like going to work as im going to prison each day..just dont know how to like this job and be a bit happy just like everyone else there and aagin its all because of this stuttering nothing else..pls any advises tips woud be greatly appreciate it..thanks a lot

[mos]

salaam

hang in there brother and ignore the laughter by other people.
you are brave & courageous for having a job in a restraunt where you serve people.

life is short just hang in there

mos

[jamesm]

hey man, i feel your pain, i too once worked at a pizza hut, luckily i had friends there, they knew i stuttered and kinda let everyone know that i did, so i didn't feel like i had to hide it. Also being that they were my friends they never would make fun or anything. But some people would kinda smile discretely sometime, like why can't he just "talk right" lol, but you can't let that s#%t mess with you man. I think as stutterers we develop such mental strength to deal with the ignorant antics of people who just don't understand stuttering. Just keep trying to put the bullsh#%t out of your mind...... It really sucked when I had to answer the phone for to go orders or deliveries. I was a waiter and cook, so it involved lots of talking, but the customers were always pretty good (not mean or showed any laughter at my stuttering). I remember one lady calling back saying that her order was wrong, and she said the "boy that stuttered took my order", I answered the phone both times and she didn't know that it was me that answered the second time. I explained to her that indeed she had made a mistake, the order was written down and the manager agreed with me that she was wrong, but i kinda sucked just to be labeled as the "boy who stuttered"... But for the most part the customers just wanted a pizza, they couldn't care less if i stuttered, I thought otherwise of course (that my stuttering was a HUUUUGGGEEE deal!!), but in reality they may be like "oh wow, he stutters"..."ok now wheres my stuffed crust", ya know?.. SO to wrap all this up I'll tell you how I managed,...

I simply WORKED MY ASS OFF!! The people who once kinda looked at me like, how is he going to handle this stuttering so bad, admired my work ethic, envied my promotion, and simply couldn't "hang" with me waiting tables or making pizzas. My boss told me one day he had never seen anyone work so hard at such a constant rate in a Pizza Hut (i know this sounds stupid, being only that it was a F@#$ing Pizza Hut), but that meant a lot to me. He would put me on the floor during peak hours when the most money was to be maid, because he could depend on me to work hard all shift. One shift I made well over a hundred dollars..at Pizza Hut....a f#$king PIZZA HUT! It kinda worked itself out in the end.

To the people that just don't understand, and make fun of you, kill em with kindness. Be nice to them, maybe they will see that you really are a good guy and change their opinion of you and stuttering in general. I know thats easier said than done, but just try not to let them get to you, you mind is your greatest weapon (and greatest weakness sometimes). By no means am I trying to sound like some guru man, "like learn from my words" but these are some of the things that got me through Pizza Hut (and almost any job that I've had), i worked there for two years.So don't give up man, work hard, live easy, you'll go far in life. Keep working hard, enjoy your promotions and maybe one day you will be HIS boss, and then you will have the last laugh. People admire hard work, no matter what you sound like. Take care man

[ricardo]

Wow, you're really surrounded by immature people.

I have been to Marrocos and I got the impression that life as a "normal" person is already difficult, I imagine for a stutter is like hell. I hope you have a good family and friends that give you some support.

This is probably a bad advice, but if you can't reason with him, just try to make him feel what is like to be humiliated, maybe he will learn.

[Berbatov]

I understand your pain, friend. At work when I have to deliver a session, I always fear and get very anxious, each oral delivery is a struggle and mentally challenging. Often I feel incompetent, due to my stutter and dislike myself and have many negative self talk, like only if I hadn’t stammered or if I wasn’t a stamerer, I could have done this or that.

Like many people, I am hoping something good with pagoclone but I know I have to deal with my stutter and reactions from people. I know the feeling when you can’t defend yourself verbally, with your tormentors and they sometime take advantage of it. It’s one of the reasons that I live in slight fear, as I don’t know what tomorrow will bring and most importantly of all, if I can deal with whatever life throws at me. I thought of disclosure to my colleagues and talking about it but then I refrained from it, as I thought at times of dispute or fall out with colleagues, they could use my disclosure to hurt me or even if they don’t use it, I would feel guilty of disclosing something very personal to colleague, after falling out.

What can we do? Just get on with it – seek fluency technique or take drugs to control stuttering

[Jaykon]

I have been to Marrocos and I got the impression that life as a "normal" person is already difficult,

please elaborate on this if you dont mind

[Iron Cable]

I find tat the best way to deal with people laughing at you, is to laugh along with them. I don't mean fake it, but it can be funny at times. I'm not saying that it's ok for him to laugh, especialy sence he doesn't know you, but getting angry at him will only make it worse(if anything). Of course, this isn't easy, as you already hate him lol, so just ignore his laughter.

As for the girls....just look them in the eye, smile and be polite. They'll be a little thrown off by the stuttering, but it's not as much of a hinderence to them as it is to you.

[hafidmetal]

hey man, i feel your pain, i too once worked at a pizza hut, luckily i had friends there, they knew i stuttered and kinda let everyone know that i did, so i didn't feel like i had to hide it. Also being that they were my friends they never would make fun or anything. But some people would kinda smile discretely sometime, like why can't he just "talk right" lol, but you can't let that s#%t mess with you man. I think as stutterers we develop such mental strength to deal with the ignorant antics of people who just don't understand stuttering. Just keep trying to put the bullsh#%t out of your mind...... It really sucked when I had to answer the phone for to go orders or deliveries. I was a waiter and cook, so it involved lots of talking, but the customers were always pretty good (not mean or showed any laughter at my stuttering). I remember one lady calling back saying that her order was wrong, and she said the "boy that stuttered took my order", I answered the phone both times and she didn't know that it was me that answered the second time. I explained to her that indeed she had made a mistake, the order was written down and the manager agreed with me that she was wrong, but i kinda sucked just to be labeled as the "boy who stuttered"... But for the most part the customers just wanted a pizza, they couldn't care less if i stuttered, I thought otherwise of course (that my stuttering was a HUUUUGGGEEE deal!!), but in reality they may be like "oh wow, he stutters"..."ok now wheres my stuffed crust", ya know?.. SO to wrap all this up I'll tell you how I managed,...

I simply WORKED MY ASS OFF!! The people who once kinda looked at me like, how is he going to handle this stuttering so bad, admired my work ethic, envied my promotion, and simply couldn't "hang" with me waiting tables or making pizzas. My boss told me one day he had never seen anyone work so hard at such a constant rate in a Pizza Hut (i know this sounds stupid, being only that it was a F@#$ing Pizza Hut), but that meant a lot to me. He would put me on the floor during peak hours when the most money was to be maid, because he could depend on me to work hard all shift. One shift I made well over a hundred dollars..at Pizza Hut....a f#$king PIZZA HUT! It kinda worked itself out in the end.

To the people that just don't understand, and make fun of you, kill em with kindness. Be nice to them, maybe they will see that you really are a good guy and change their opinion of you and stuttering in general. I know thats easier said than done, but just try not to let them get to you, you mind is your greatest weapon (and greatest weakness sometimes). By no means am I trying to sound like some guru man, "like learn from my words" but these are some of the things that got me through Pizza Hut (and almost any job that I've had), i worked there for two years.So don't give up man, work hard, live easy, you'll go far in life. Keep working hard, enjoy your promotions and maybe one day you will be HIS boss, and then you will have the last laugh. People admire hard work, no matter what you sound like. Take care man
Hey man wht u just said was interesting..and now im still a cook and i can deal with that..still didnt go to the phone thing and it already annoys but who cares as u said people just want a da*n pizza not my stuttering lol and thanks a lot for the advices,they were helpful:)

[hafidmetal]

Wow, you're really surrounded by immature people.

I have been to Marrocos and I got the impression that life as a "normal" person is already difficult, I imagine for a stutter is like hell. I hope you have a good family and friends that give you some support.

This is probably a bad advice, but if you can't reason with him, just try to make him feel what is like to be humiliated, maybe he will learn.

humm not really life that diffuclt for a normal person,but its not about life its just about people accepting and understanding my stuttering or not,this is wht annoys me!

[hafidmetal]

thanks friends for the kind words and advices..really appreciate it.

[Rkanjl]

As for the girls....just look them in the eye, smile and be polite. They'll be a little thrown off by the stuttering, but it's not as much of a hinderence to them as it is to you.

Truer words were never spoken! :p

[ricardo]

please elaborate on this if you dont mind

This was the impression that I got while being there for a few days. It could have been a false impression but for example in Marrakesh, I saw very poor people in the streets and women at night (and the nights there can be pretty cold) with babies asking for money.

If a stutter and non stutter with the same qualifications apply for a job, the stutter will have a much more harder time convincing the interviewer that he/she is the right person. - This shouldn't happen but it does in our society.

So, living in a rich country where there are plenty of jobs is already difficult for a stutter, now in a poor country I assume that its even more difficult. The choice is more limited and you have to take more crap to survive.

This was my line of though when I wrote
"I have been to Marrocos and I got the impression that life as a "normal" person is already difficult, I imagine for a stutter is like hell."

Just found out that I wrote Morocco, in my native language and not in English. Oops.

Anyway, I liked the country, very alive and the people while having very "little" seemed very happy and friendly.

[hafidmetal]

This was the impression that I got while being there for a few days. It could have been a false impression but for example in Marrakesh, I saw very poor people in the streets and women at night (and the nights there can be pretty cold) with babies asking for money.

If a stutter and non stutter with the same qualifications apply for a job, the stutter will have a much more harder time convincing the interviewer that he/she is the right person. - This shouldn't happen but it does in our society.

So, living in a rich country where there are plenty of jobs is already difficult for a stutter, now in a poor country I assume that its even more difficult. The choice is more limited and you have to take more crap to survive.

This was my line of though when I wrote
"I have been to Marrocos and I got the impression that life as a "normal" person is already difficult, I imagine for a stutter is like hell."

Just found out that I wrote Morocco, in my native language and not in English. Oops.

Anyway, I liked the country, very alive and the people while having very "little" seemed very happy and friendly.

I understood what ur trying to say..poverty is a fact and its everywhere in the world but dont think morocco is a poor country,not at all and surly not rich lol!its true that life is hard here for stutteres cus all those stuttering clinics are very expensive and probably there is few of them cus here stuttering aint got that attention like in the developed countries..but dont know,i never tried anything.

[Bodryn]

For a couple of years I used to be in a position to hire people. I once interviewed 30 people for 2 jobs. None of them were stutterers, but if some had been, I would have given them special consideration. I think I was a nice boss and so I think there are others out there also. Looking back I think a bad job that makes one unhappy should be ditched as soon as possible. The longer a person stays with it, the more damage it does. I've been through that too.

[thatCALIdude]

i think you should try to relax before going to work, it might help your speech. get some relaxation tapes

[takinyede]

i think you should try to relax before going to work, it might help your speech. get some relaxation tapes

True relaxation only come when you feel you are in control of your speech. I will say its better to spend time studying your stuttering type and trying out techniques that work in your specific case (usually its a combination of techniques), only then is true relaxation possible.

[hafidmetal]

For a couple of years I used to be in a position to hire people. I once interviewed 30 people for 2 jobs. None of them were stutterers, but if some had been, I would have given them special consideration. I think I was a nice boss and so I think there are others out there also. Looking back I think a bad job that makes one unhappy should be ditched as soon as possible. The longer a person stays with it, the more damage it does. I've been through that too.
yeah thats wht worries me..whts the point from having a job that only frustrats u and makes ur stuttering worse..thanks anyways