Dug23
11-19-2005, 03:23 PM
Hey all
Anyone have those mornings where you lie in bed and just get stressed thinking about life? I had one of those today but still stressing even now im up. I'm expected to go to Central America next year on my own for about 6 months to carry out research in spanish and the more i think about it - the worse it seems. I've learnt to control my stutter pretty well in my own language - most people don't know I have it or that it is a problem. But it does surface again in stressful situations; taking interviews, doing presentations or phoning strangers for research. Most of the time although stressful i find ways to cope with it - substituting certain words, staying positive and trying to be confident, avoiding certain situtations etc... It helps that I am confident in my knowledge of the English language. But how am i ever going to cope in spanish? My understanding of the spanish language is very limited and I have little confidence in my ability to speak spanish. I'm not going to be able to substitute words like I have in the past in English - or avoid stressful situations there. I can't think of anything worse than phoning up an organisation in spanish trying to explain my research and why I want to speak to them... I find that hard enough in English. Virtually all of the time i've done my research in the US i've been able to make contact by email which makes it a lot easier - but in Central America many of the organisations and people may not have that access... And even in situations that aren't necessary stressful I can imagine my lack of confidence in the language will increase my likelihood to stutter. Actually I know that has already been the case in one situation where i went to a spanish speaking restaurant in D.C. and stuttered pretty bad when i ordered food in spanish (something i very rarely do in English). It's all becoming a bit of a nightmare in my head now. I've always seen my stutter as something I must battle against and win - not let it dictate my life; and i think so far i've mostly triumphed. But the thought of living and researching in spanish seems more and more threatening. I really don't know what to do - part of me is saying come on, dont be stupid - you can do this; and then another part is telling me that it will be my nightmare come true. I don't know what to do :(
Anyone have those mornings where you lie in bed and just get stressed thinking about life? I had one of those today but still stressing even now im up. I'm expected to go to Central America next year on my own for about 6 months to carry out research in spanish and the more i think about it - the worse it seems. I've learnt to control my stutter pretty well in my own language - most people don't know I have it or that it is a problem. But it does surface again in stressful situations; taking interviews, doing presentations or phoning strangers for research. Most of the time although stressful i find ways to cope with it - substituting certain words, staying positive and trying to be confident, avoiding certain situtations etc... It helps that I am confident in my knowledge of the English language. But how am i ever going to cope in spanish? My understanding of the spanish language is very limited and I have little confidence in my ability to speak spanish. I'm not going to be able to substitute words like I have in the past in English - or avoid stressful situations there. I can't think of anything worse than phoning up an organisation in spanish trying to explain my research and why I want to speak to them... I find that hard enough in English. Virtually all of the time i've done my research in the US i've been able to make contact by email which makes it a lot easier - but in Central America many of the organisations and people may not have that access... And even in situations that aren't necessary stressful I can imagine my lack of confidence in the language will increase my likelihood to stutter. Actually I know that has already been the case in one situation where i went to a spanish speaking restaurant in D.C. and stuttered pretty bad when i ordered food in spanish (something i very rarely do in English). It's all becoming a bit of a nightmare in my head now. I've always seen my stutter as something I must battle against and win - not let it dictate my life; and i think so far i've mostly triumphed. But the thought of living and researching in spanish seems more and more threatening. I really don't know what to do - part of me is saying come on, dont be stupid - you can do this; and then another part is telling me that it will be my nightmare come true. I don't know what to do :(