Possible girlfriend --stutter prevents it

[happy7117]

I have met this girl who works as a waitress at a restaurent I regualarly visit at..she is the nicent
person you will ever meet!!!

I stutter uncontollabley-- I forget to breathe
and slow my speech--- because im thinking about so much what i want to say to her...!!!

It's weird Im unable to hear my own speech
as I speak to her-- therefore unable to slow
it down if i cannot hear it...

I'm 27-- I don't have a girlfriend--can't express my self properly to girls--

Been through all types of thearpy--

Can't afford an anti-stutter device--

Excuse my language-- but WTF is going on...

Enough is enough!!!

I love people, I love life, i could do relaxed breathing
till I hyperventulate-- but nothing will work...

The only thing that will work or help me is a fluency master which i cannot afford!!

I wanted to do shopping today to get geared up for christmas time, but was afraid to knowing I
would stutter fearfully... so i stayed home....

So the treatment that could help me is unaffordable--
and till a device ever comes along that I can afford
I will be living in a void of anger!!!

I hope others fair better than me!!

It's Christmas time- the greatest gift i could
ever get is less dysfluency....i did not say no dysfluency- i said, less dysfluency....!![COLOR=DarkGreen][SIZE=4]:confused:

[EndOfHeart]

I know how you feel man, I go through that feeling a lot and it sucks. But just slap yourself or something because worrying about it is useless. This is the life of some stutterers and only you could choose what to do.

I really get depress at times but that is what some of us gotta go through and it may never change. Just try to live life as good as you can but it will be hard.

All of what i said is pretty obvious and might not have helped much >>

[happy7117]

I know how you feel man, I go through that feeling a lot and it sucks. But just slap yourself or something because worrying about it is useless. This is the life of some stutterers and only you could choose what to do.

I really get depress at times but that is what some of us gotta go through and it may never change. Just try to live life as good as you can but it will be hard.

All of what i said is pretty obvious and might not have helped much >>

I know these posts are trying to be helpfull to one--
but they seem to say the same thing we have been hearing for years already-- live with it-- and be tough... the point is-- one can only be so tough--
and one can only be able to live with a stutter so long
untill the stutter completely loses it!!

[EndOfHeart]

Maybe they are the same thing because there is no cure to say. If there is no cure then there is only one thing to do=live with it.

But of course they are many different ways to go about living with it.

[pfisterer2005]

It has to be a cure! I heard about some drugs, even new drugs they´re developing... And how about books? There are some real nice ones listed in the related topics.

It´s really frustating for me to slutter too.. It makes everything go bad in my life. I could do anything to get it better. It´s extremelly depressing having to live with it, although I learned how.

Always when I want to talk to a girl for the first time, I usually drink "some" beer, and it really helps me. Sometimes even though I keep slammering a little. But after this first date the girls always knows I stutter. It´s so bad when I see it in her eyes.. When they ask if I´m a stutter I feel like I want to die...

Sometimes I just have great things to say and I can´t speak freely.. There´s always some sabotage inside me that keeps me slammering.. Sometimes I have fluency like any of you, but there´s always bad moments with a lot of stuttering.

Well, good luck for you guys.. And remember you´re not the only ones.. :)

[Perad]

Breathe!

Wait... Wait... Breathe again!

Whats your speech like normally? Out of 10 i mean? If its a 7 (frequent fluent patches with mild stammer - made that up myself, nice huh?)

and when you speak to her its a 3. Then really you yourself are making it worse.

Before you go in do you "over think" things, what am i going to say, will she be here, shall i ask her out?

I find that leads to anxiety and an inability to speak. Try slowing it down. Go in with the key or saying "hello how are you." Then ordering what you want to order.

Next day do exactly the same. On the day after, once you have mastered the "hello how are you today" add another line.

This creates nice structured speaking. You know what you are going to say and you attempt to say it. You don't have a million thoughts in your head and your mind is all over the place.

Eventually you will reach the, "hey how are you, good good, i'm fine, do you want to go out some time" stage.

Stammers have both positives and negatives. On the negative side you can struggle to speak and at times feel like a tit. On the plus side it makes you memorable and for some reason, most girls want to talk to you.

[Rudolph52]

I have met this girl who works as a waitress at a restaurent I regualarly visit at..she is the nicent
person you will ever meet!!!

I stutter uncontollabley-- I forget to breathe
and slow my speech--- because im thinking about so much what i want to say to her...!!!

It's weird Im unable to hear my own speech
as I speak to her-- therefore unable to slow
it down if i cannot hear it...

I'm 27-- I don't have a girlfriend--can't express my self properly to girls--

Been through all types of thearpy--

Can't afford an anti-stutter device--

Excuse my language-- but WTF is going on...

Enough is enough!!!

I love people, I love life, i could do relaxed breathing
till I hyperventulate-- but nothing will work...

The only thing that will work or help me is a fluency master which i cannot afford!!

I wanted to do shopping today to get geared up for christmas time, but was afraid to knowing I
would stutter fearfully... so i stayed home....

So the treatment that could help me is unaffordable--
and till a device ever comes along that I can afford
I will be living in a void of anger!!!

I hope others fair better than me!!

It's Christmas time- the greatest gift i could
ever get is less dysfluency....i did not say no dysfluency- i said, less dysfluency....!![COLOR=DarkGreen][SIZE=4]:confused:

I don't want to come off as an asshole, but Jesus man your speech will only get worse if you have that attitude. I am 19 years old and have stuttered since I can remember and when I started college it became the worse it has ever been. I started becoming depressed about my stuttering and basically went into isolation, rarely talking to my friends and became extremely scared of social situations. There was even a point where I barely say my own first name. My confidence and self-esteem was at an all-time low.

I started researching stuttering alot and realized that stuttering gets worse the more you think about it, let it consume your thoughts, and basically let it control your life. You need to be confident about speaking.
I'm sure you've heard that plenty of times, but really it's true. Whenever I would meet new people the constant thought of me stuttering while introducing myself went through my head. And almost every time I blocked while trying to say my name. Now I try my best at going into speaking situations with confidence and that honestly makes all the difference. I still stutter, but it isn't as bad as it used to be and I have found ways to overcome some of my stuttering blocks.

I realize all of this is easier said than done, but really try it. Be confident, don't worry so much about what other people think. The more you do, the more nervous you become and the more your stuttering increases.

Just taking speech therapy isn't going to cure your stuttering. You really must want to stop stuttering, it's more than just speech. It's changing your personality, how you react to things, being less passive, etc. And don't think some expensive device will cure your stuttering, you have to truly dedicate yourself to wanting to speak more fluently.

I don't want this to seem like I am coming down on you or attacking you, I just wanted to give you any advice that I think could help you.

[happy7117]

I don't want to come off as an asshole, but Jesus man your speech will only get worse if you have that attitude. I am 19 years old and have stuttered since I can remember and when I started college it became the worse it has ever been. I started becoming depressed about my stuttering and basically went into isolation, rarely talking to my friends and became extremely scared of social situations. There was even a point where I barely say my own first name. My confidence and self-esteem was at an all-time low.

I started researching stuttering alot and realized that stuttering gets worse the more you think about it, let it consume your thoughts, and basically let it control your life. You need to be confident about speaking.
I'm sure you've heard that plenty of times, but really it's true. Whenever I would meet new people the constant thought of me stuttering while introducing myself went through my head. And almost every time I blocked while trying to say my name. Now I try my best at going into speaking situations with confidence and that honestly makes all the difference. I still stutter, but it isn't as bad as it used to be and I have found ways to overcome some of my stuttering blocks.

I realize all of this is easier said than done, but really try it. Be confident, don't worry so much about what other people think. The more you do, the more nervous you become and the more your stuttering increases.

Just taking speech therapy isn't going to cure your stuttering. You really must want to stop stuttering, it's more than just speech. It's changing your personality, how you react to things, being less passive, etc. And don't think some expensive device will cure your stuttering, you have to truly dedicate yourself to wanting to speak more fluently.

I don't want this to seem like I am coming down on you or attacking you, I just wanted to give you any advice that I think could help you.

I like your take at facing fear (the fear being the stuttering) in the eye, but how can one's stutter get any worse when it's already madly intense....

How can one have self-esteem and confidence
when one wants to speak right so badly, but just
is unable to---???

I have tons of speech therapy and no matter
how dedicated i was to helping the stutter thing, it was not doing any good...

Are you saying one should be a confident stutterer!!!

I'm not sure how I understand how one can be
extremely confident when stuttering brings down the self-esteem...!!

And no, your not coming off as an ***hole, it's just
constructive criticism....

[Jeff99]

Look the problem is not your speech but you arn't willing to take a chance so your being hurt in te past i bet but get over it we all stutter here your not the only one. Life's a until you mae the choice to do somthing about it. talk to her ask her out what ever doesn't matter just do somthing if your speech is such a problem then do somthing about it you could not have tried every type of treatment out if you have then your not putting in the work to overcome your stutter. Overcoming a stutter is a long process it's not going to just go away one morning so stop hopeing it will and do somthing about.life is about choices if you want to do somthing then do it.

[happy7117]

Look the problem is not your speech but you arn't willing to take a chance so your being hurt in te past i bet but get over it we all stutter here your not the only one. Life's a until you mae the choice to do somthing about it. talk to her ask her out what ever doesn't matter just do somthing if your speech is such a problem then do somthing about it you could not have tried every type of treatment out if you have then your not putting in the work to overcome your stutter. Overcoming a stutter is a long process it's not going to just go away one morning so stop hopeing it will and do somthing about.life is about choices if you want to do somthing then do it.

Your very correct -- I have tried every darn thearpy I can think of...work my tail off in the past--but there is one thing mssing from total success --I need an auditroy feedback device---
my experience from approaching women to talk
to them and getting shot down due to the speech thing has made me sort of recoil--

By the looks of your post-- you seem to be very in control of your stutter-hope all is successful--
but for others who are not - well our stutter
makes us fearfull--!!!

I still wonder if speech therapy is a good option
for those who have taken it before but did not benefit!!

Maybe I'll go a few times and see if i can be more successfull!!

[happy7117]

Devices are like a hit or miss in my opinion--
they work great, or they don't work....the results are temporary so you need to work with them as much as possible untill the effects start to wear off..

I know that there are great therapies that do
traditional stuttering therapy-- but people
say the techniques do not work well outside the
clinic--it's not because they are not practicing--they may be trying to use the techniques they were
taught in therapy but the pressures of wanting
to jump into a conversation makes you forget to use them, or forget to remember to use them..that's where
a auditory feedback aid would help--those devices
are not cures- but they sort of give you releif...

Moneyy is very tight that's true-- these devices are never cheap!!!

We need to seek funding from state rehab..I'm currently researching state funding...

Wheather it is an aid to help us or traditional therapy
to help us-- we should all have a fair shot at what
could help us..!!

[Jeff99]

OK first thing what is the first thing you think when you go to talk to these women. let me guess i hope i don't stutter or something like that. You see by doing we are hiding the first step to any recovery is to first accept that you have a problem so hiding it to talk to a hot girl isn't going to get you any where. try this go into the conversion as a stutterer what i mean is don't hide anything from them if they like you then they like you for you not someone you are trying to be to impress them.Sure 9 out of 10 times they will not be interested in you but it's better to be yourself to find someone who will understand for the get go. not lie to them then try to sucker them in.