Hooters Restaurant

[happy7117]

Today I went to Hooters restaurant
for some wings (they got some great wings and babes too!!)..

Picture this-- no speecheasy device, no stutter aid,
and a feeling of hopelessness as one stutters, past
therapy that did not do nothing, and not having the money to by a stuttering aid...

I tried to get my order out, but it just would'nt come out right.

They are the nicest and most beautifullest girls that
any average guy in that restaurant would love
to hang with, and I stuttered in front of her...

So actually, I just got up and walked out...I
was so embarrassed and angered at how the
stuttering made me humiliate myself in front
of these babes....

The fear and embarasment that the stuttering
caused me at hooters restaurant- let's just say
I will not go back there for a long time because
the stuttering makes me look like a fool...

Any thoughts on how to cope--?? You
would have to have been there to witness
the situation....it was truly awful.. :mad: :mad:

[Antman5434]

if that happened to me, i would cope with it in two ways. First off i would put the incident in the past. Secondly i would use what happened as reference for next time i walk into a restaurant and think about a technique to use such as slower speech rate or a gentle onset

[studentdoc]

Why do you think it makes you look so bad? It's not as bad as you think.

[Vermillion]

I think you are catastrophizing your stuttering problem, which makes it A LOT harder to cope with.

I remember a year ago i was like this. After a block, I would get very angry at myself..but I've learned to stop beating myself up. One way to do this is to stop caring what others think about you. Here's a good quote "What others think about me is none of my business."

We are too easily crushed by speech failure. We are at times like a battered animal, it gets used to the beatings. Pull yourself out and make the effort.

[dave]

You need to stop running out of places because you stutter when you talk to someone. You need to accept that the only person who can hurt you is yourself and people don't care how you talk. You don't need a "hearing aid" to speak fluently any more than anyone else. But seriously if you have had bad experiences in the past just think about the mentallity of people who "make fun" of people who stutter. They have far worse problems of their own.

Assuming you want to improve your speach.
1.Practice reading a bunch of stuff outloud on your own.
Slowly blending each word into the next sound. Spend about two seconds on each word.
I don't know how much you stutter, so just keep doing it untill you are fluent (while doing that). Increase speed gradually.
Sing too?
2. Talk more to the people you are comfortable talking to.
3. Throw yourself into as many speaking situations you don't want in, like talking to girls at Hooter's.

Thats what I do and #3 never goes very well for
me.

I honestly don't care what other people think about me, but I still get the anxiety. I'm 100% fluent talking to my peers 0% answering in class. I'm not exaggerating.

[Gary1450]

I agree with the others -

Also if I really get stuck even though I try to calm myself down and talk slow I'll point to the menu at what I want and that helps me say it to.

It's hard for me to order drinks because it's not something you can really point to.

What did you stutter on, your drink order?

I wouldn't have left unless they were rude and annoyed.

[happy7117]

Reguarding Dave's post:: Does 0% mean
you are completely fluent answering in class, or completely disfluent answering in class-- 100%
fluency with peers is great to hear-- you
should be very gratefull!!!

Reguarding Gary's post:::

I stuttered while making idle chit-chat with
the girls...

The reason I walked out is because I couldn't bear
to stutter any longer than I was while talking
to them..I felt humiliated, and I wanted to
escape the humilation....

As for running away from stuttering situations,
it makes me very uncomfortable stuttering greatly
for another stranger to hear, and no one understands a word I am saying...it makes me feel degraded......

I don't know how anybody would have the nerve
to be able to put themselves in situations where
they stutter a whole lot, and maintain their cool!!

And how can a stutterer communicate effectively
if the person stutters very nastily--!!!

Speaking is like the essence of communication...!!

As for the hooters situation: I walked out
in embarrasment at not being able to be understood,

How would I have been able to enjoy myself
if I was barely able to speak coherently???

Good luck to others!!

[Gary1450]

If it makes you feel any better, I'm at work and I just got off the phone with a student I was trying to help and I blocked pretty bad - she seemed annoyed and rude.

Some days are better than others for me.

I'll be honest with you - I usually go to restaurants with my wife and although she makes me speak for myself - I find ways to avoid stuttering. Plus just having her there seems to take off the pressure.

I don't always succeed though.

For example if my wife orders a diet coke and I want a Dr Pepper - there's no way I'm going to say "Dr Pepper" - I tried before and failed. So I say "same thing" which is easier for me to say - and I get stuck with a diet coke.

I panic and escape speaking situaions too even though my wife hates it.

I've walked out of classrooms in college because I stuttered so bad.

I'm trying harder though.

[dave]

0% means completely disfluent.
Although sometimes I'm caught off guard and answer fluently. I am quite interested in pagoclone. Which happens to be a type of anxiety medicine? No one has any problem understanding me because I concentrate on clarity more than anything. I believe creates a lot of silent blocks where the other person interrupts or tries to finish the sentence. I'm approxmently 89% fluent in situations where I'm not completely relaxed or having a panic attack. Every block brings about 7 seconds of silence. I block severly on every 9th or 10th word I say.

She was just trying to get your order right not make you feel uneasy.


Like at school we have the option to do an oral presentation or just hand a paper in.
I go for the presentation and most of the people don't.
One thing I try to avoid is ordering things over the phone. I talk to friends on the phone. I have no problem answering the phone. But its because I don't want the person on the other end to think its a prank call.

[Standingtall]

Aww Happy my friend, I would have stayed just for the scenery. I have used pointing at the menu, just to get them closer to see what I am pointing at. I have smiled a lot when I did start to stutter, trying to add some charm. I asked them what the specials are and stopped them at the ones I want. I always had problems saying Rickards Red, so I ask them what kind of dark ale they have and stop them at mine and if they don't, then just a pepsi will do. We have a hooters in Canada, Edmonton and in this case my stutter comes second, scenery first. I don't know how constructive that was, but I would have stayed and enjoyed myself. Stutter and all.

[Gary1450]

4 of us online at the sametime - it's a miracle

too bad this site doesn't have a chat room

[happy7117]

Indeed I always thought Hooters was more of a macho place-- and that stuttering would turn off the Hooters girls....

And also-- when I used to use a DAF
device years ago- when i actualy had the money--
i did stutter alot less--and that helped me enjoy
my experience at hooters- this was years ago--
I was using a DAF aid- I sort of stuttered but it
wasn't ugly--- it was mild but i felt like it would
not be a problem which it wasnt when I had a DAF
aid...

Now that I do not have a DAF aid,
i feel very uncomfortable with all
the excess stuttering....

[Standingtall]

I understand happy, when they first opened up, I didnt' want to go in there because of my stutter and I convinced a couple of my brothers to come with me and order for me, while I stared, oh sorry looked around. Today, I still my tricks to order stuff, but mostly I go in there for their great wings special, hockey highlights, a good smoke and a tall dark glass of ale. Seriously, some of the tricks can work for you, it gets them closer to me, while I look down, on the menu and order stuff. On a another note, yeah, we should have a chat room.

[happy7117]

Indeed I frequent this board every day
after work!!!

How would a chat room become available on here!!

It's a super idea!! And I don't know why
there isn't one already in the first place!!

Who would we ask on here about chatrooms???

That's superb!!

[happy7117]

Heck they got the best wings--I used to go there
when I had the DAF aid which was great--I would
order with no problem-- make friends with the hooters girls-stutter sort of- but have so much fun all the while....!!

But ever since the DAF aid stopped working for me,
i have ben stuttering miserably, and it's preventing
me from having the blast of a time I had when I
had--- needless to say, I have been extremely
pissed ever since-- these are the best finest girls
ever- and the stutter is the only barrier preventing
us from "scorng"!! (pardon the language to any readers)

[Standingtall]

I hear you happy, just go there and order your wings and If I was near by, I would buy you a drink. Enjoy yourself, put your feelings first and your stutter second.

[happy7117]

A few drunk stuttering dudes hitting on chicks--
I'm not sure if I can imagine that!!!!!!

When going to Hooters, it's important to be
smooth and suave with the waitresses,
but for a stutterer that's a pain in the butt...!!!

[alok daga]

hey buddy, it was just in front of one pretty girl that u stuttered. the others there dont even know. so just get back there and order your stuff once again. get slow on it and yup, try using the menu to point at ure order. enjoy while others dont know about it. this is how i do it.....

[Standingtall]

Pretty funny happy. I wonder what would happen if we all got together at hooters, and drunk too. I have a cousin who stutters too and he doesn't hold back flirting with the hooter's waitresses.

[happy7117]

Pretty funny happy. I wonder what would happen if we all got together at hooters, and drunk too. I have a cousin who stutters too and he doesn't hold back flirting with the hooter's waitresses.

Indeed they have some gorgeous ones!!!
They just need a few Hooters girls that
stutter-- so they could better relate to us....

Some gorgeous babes that could show
some passion for us stutters!!

Hooters is like the ultimate flirt place!!
It's no baywatch, but it's the next bext
thing...!!

BOO-YEAH!!!

Damn-I need a Hooter's
girl that stutters!!!

[Perad]

It would be pretty cool if like 50 stuttering people went to hooters. Though it would also be really lame. Not enough waitresses to go around.

Some gorgeous babes that could show
some passion for us stutters!!

I must say, thats a bit of a lame thing to say, girls aren't particularly hard to pull. You just need 2 drinks and some confidence. I have found that when it comes to girl's, if you don't care about your stammer then generally speaking neither do they.

As for my girlfriend, she's pretty hot :D and she's never been negative about my speech.

[happy7117]

It would be pretty cool if like 50 stuttering people went to hooters. Though it would also be really lame. Not enough waitresses to go around.



I must say, thats a bit of a lame thing to say, girls aren't particularly hard to pull. You just need 2 drinks and some confidence. I have found that when it comes to girl's, if you don't care about your stammer then generally speaking neither do they.

As for my girlfriend, she's pretty hot :D and she's never been negative about my speech.


The problem is I don't have a girlfriend--
Im not fat -Im not ugly either, Im just
very handsome---

Now if a girl at hooters was extremely cute or
not unattractive to scare me away(many say beauty
is skin deep--but so many are drawn to looks first--
shallow- but true)!!

And if the girl is extremely kind, very cute,
and did not ridule a stutterer-- that would be the ultimate girl to date!!!

Of course Hooters girls dating a stutterer
is the ultimate thing...

Now if it was a very hot guy or
actor with a severe stutter--dating
a gorgeous babe would be cake...

Say Hugh Hefner-- he's the ultimate
womenizer and Playboy publisher, and has
that castle of a place of his...what if he stuttered
badly--- would he be as famous with the women---

[Standingtall]

Hey you guys, you are getting me depressed. I'm old, I'm fat, I'm ugly and I stutter, yet I have been married for 12 years.

I'm going to hooters, right now and find the highest table with bar stools and look down, at the menu and order myself some wings and have an ale.

Happy, what works for me, is give lots of compliments, nothing ual in nature and they will respond in a positive way. I had a few of them, thinking I was their best friend and tipped them good. You will make someone's day.

If you and I had that drink, I would make you the fluent one, but we would have a great time. A bunch of us could make complete sentence work. Will we be just as rowdy as normal folk, or a bunch of quite guys (maybe Gals) in the corner. hmmmm.

[happy7117]

Hey you guys, you are getting me depressed. I'm old, I'm fat, I'm ugly and I stutter, yet I have been married for 12 years.

I'm going to hooters, right now and find the highest table with bar stools and look down, at the menu and order myself some wings and have an ale.

Happy, what works for me, is give lots of compliments, nothing ual in nature and they will respond in a positive way. I had a few of them, thinking I was their best friend and tipped them good. You will make someone's day.

If you and I had that drink, I would make you the fluent one, but we would have a great time. A bunch of us could make complete sentence work. Will we be just as rowdy as normal folk, or a bunch of quite guys (maybe Gals) in the corner. hmmmm.

Are you saying I could be fluent after a drink
of beer....I tried a beer-- it's tasted like CRAP!!!
And did nothing for my stutter, it did make me dizzy
kind of....

I agree- this whole forum should meet in person
and go to hooters and get slammed...!!!

Or go to a strip club!!!

[Standingtall]

If you don't drink ale, then have a coffee, tea, juice or water. My point was, with my stutter, you would sound more fluent, out of the two of us.

I vote for hooters.

[Perad]

The problem is I don't have a girlfriend--
Im not fat -Im not ugly either, Im just
very handsome---

Now if a girl at hooters was extremely cute or
not unattractive to scare me away(many say beauty
is skin deep--but so many are drawn to looks first--
shallow- but true)!!

And if the girl is extremely kind, very cute,
and did not ridule a stutterer-- that would be the ultimate girl to date!!!

*slaps happy*

*slaps happy again*

You will never pull a hooters girl, its not because of your speech, its because a hundred men hit on the a day, to stand out against that may people is incredibly hard and just not happening.

Now lower your standards below super model and you will hook up with someone within a week.

[happy7117]

Indeed your right!! But that last post of mine
was hypothetical-- I'm not looking for a hooters girl really--it's not impossible, but it's out of my league!!!

If a girl was very kind and understanding and
did not judge me based on my stuttering, I would
definately want to hook up...

[Standingtall]

Hey, how do we know happy can't pick up a hooter WOMAN? I bet if he gained enough confidence, he can.

[happy7117]

How do we know if any of us stutterers
can pick up gorgeous women!!!!???

The stutter gig makes it a pain in the *** to try!!

[Standingtall]

I did, over 15 years ago, married her so she won't get away on me.

[dave]

I don't know how to meet girls.

[Standingtall]

I have enough confidence to talk to women, anyware. When I met my wife, was in a bar, music was playing loud. She was sitting down and I extended my hand out and mouthed 'do you want to dance'. To my surprise she said yes. Two left feet and no rythm. I thank her afterwards and ask if I could dance with her again. She said yes. I am not saying, this is going to work for you, but the confidence I gained was leap and bounds.

[dave]

I approach girls and say hi and they either say: don't talk to me, hi and walk away, or nothing. And I'm pretty sure I'm talking loud enough because they say "I don't want to talk to you." after I say hi a bunch of times. It seems to be with only the girls I go to school with. Probably because I go to a private school with a bunch of snobs who judge me based on how I talk. This one girl right out of the blue said "You seem like the kind of person who would have a small .". I say "why". She says "I don't know you just do.". I'm not really ugly either. 6'3" 220lbs (Benchpress 325), agile, with some martial arts training.

[Standingtall]

Sounds like you don't need to know those women at all, just keep saying hi and sooner or later, someone is going to talk to you. Have you tried at the gym, you work out at or where you get your martial training. I met an young lady downstaries where I work, she was looking at some posters and I just walked up and just started talking about the pictures used in the posters. She was very talkative but I didn't take the conversation very far. The point is, I did it, and you should too.

[Perad]

The hardest thing about approaching a girl is not your stutter, its what you are going to say. Thats what makes getting a girlfriend hard. The best place is at a group, gym, supermarket. You then have something in common.

At the gym. "Hey hows it going, your looking good" (in the activity that they are doing, not physically lol)

At a group, say martial arts, "Hey how long have you been doing this for?"

Supermarket. "Hey nice melons." <-- Joke i haven't thought of a starter for this.

Basically once you have your starting line, off you go, the main problem is what you are going to say, a secondary problem is your stammer. Not the otherway around. By having something to say, it takes away most of the effect of your stammer. (Ofcourse you might stammer like a but the fact that you have something of mild improtance to say will make them stick with you.)

[Standingtall]

I think approaching a woman is the easy part and finding something to say will come second nature after doing it a few times. I think the whole point is how to get the woman you like on a date.

Maybe I am the wrong guy, because I am married and don't have to worry about getting rejected. I have got some women to have coffee and talk. A courting a woman for a mate, or for you women, a man, is a little more challanging.

For you successful people, what have you done to get your current or past girlfriends or boyfriends?

[happy7117]

I think approaching a woman is the easy part and finding something to say will come second nature after doing it a few times. I think the whole point is how to get the woman you like on a date.

Maybe I am the wrong guy, because I am married and don't have to worry about getting rejected. I have got some women to have coffee and talk. A courting a woman for a mate, or for you women, a man, is a little more challanging.

For you successful people, what have you done to get your current or past girlfriends or boyfriends?

I'm asking what does a person do if they stutter while asking out or talking to a girl??

If a guy stutters so bad while talking to a girl,
the girl will not understand what the guy is saying!!

What does one do in a situation in which a very severe
stutterer is clearly unable to ask a girl out!!!!

3 cheers for Standingtall- I'm glad you have a
beautiful wife, but many stutterers may be
so misunderstandable that they are not understood by women at all!!! Like me, I stutter to a very nasty degree that makes me hard to even talk to any
girl clearly enough to be understood---

What do I do in a situation like that??

[Perad]

I'm asking what does a person do if they stutter while asking out or talking to a girl??

If a guy stutters so bad while talking to a girl,
the girl will not understand what the guy is saying!!

What does one do in a situation in which a very severe
stutterer is clearly unable to ask a girl out!!!!

3 cheers for Standingtall- I'm glad you have a
beautiful wife, but many stutterers may be
so misunderstandable that they are not understood by women at all!!! Like me, I stutter to a very nasty degree that makes me hard to even talk to any
girl clearly enough to be understood---

What do I do in a situation like that??


You find someone very understanding. My girlfriend actually researched what i had and showed it to her parents. That way the parents were prepared and just went with it instead of probing into what i had.

I find the more i get to know someone the better my speech gets.

This is probably bad advice, but i met my girlfriend when i was blind drunk. I had seen for the last 3 weeks and just about managed "hey" each time.

I got hammered one night and by luck i came across her, me and guy wrestled on the grass for attention. (we was both very drunk), then i sat her down and we had a long chat. On the next afternoon when i was sober i was very nervous and in truth the first 2 weeks of our relationship where are bit rocky as i got to know her. But after the 2 week stage my speech had got to the stage where i can hold a conversation and we just went from there.

So if all else fails, have a couple of drinks, it helps with make you a little bit more fluent, but much more importantly it gives you the confidence to go out there and talk to people. You will probably stammer just as bad, but its easier to fob off and joke about. Also you don't actually notice awkward silences... very helpful :)

Also when a tad tipsy i find getting knocked back ok, its weird, i just think "oh well" instead "shit she thinks i'm a freak.

Its not ideal and its not recommended to everyone, but it can help in certain situations. Hell if alcohol can make me dance at a club, it can sure as hell make you attempt to chat up a girl. :D

[Gary1450]

I had that problem before - you meet a girl drunk or buzzed and you're fluent then you have to meet her when your sober and stuttering.

[Standingtall]

When I first met my wife, the boys and I were out partying and one of them was on his way to the washroom. He didn't see that step and he went flying, and beer too. The table next time him, all were laughting at him and when I first seen her. How many of your guys had that experience in a bar setting, loud music, you can barely hear your own voice and have a few drinks for bravery. I was lucky, because I just mouthed, "do you want to dance". She just got up and we walked together to the dance floor. I was pretty fluent that night, because of the music. I learned later, that one of her best friend, co-worker stutters and she has it severer. She didn't make anything of my stutter, I had to meet her friend to find out she stutters.

If you know a woman for awhile, then she would know you by now and know your stutter. I have asked a few people, 'want coffee' and they either say yes or no, and if yes, then I have company. I suggest you ask someone you know for coffee and go from there. A good way to pick up confidence. Get to know someone first, show off your stutter and flash those pearly whites and afterwhile, ask them out. I have even used email, send a quick one to a co-worker if they want to go for coffee. Don't give up hope and show some confidence.