Vermillion
12-14-2005, 07:34 AM
I posted a thread on another forum (completely unrelated to the topic of stuttering) and asked "Has anyone overcome stuttering?"
I got a lot of replies. Here are some:
"i used to stutter like crazy when i was younger, i went to a speech person (i dont know what you'd call her) and we would go over exercises and shit, didnt help much. the woman would make me call and order food from places, ask questions, stuff like that. as i got older it just went away"
"yeah mine was real bad when i was young, but i still stutter a little. The words that start with s and w bother me a little but you just learn to overcome it over time"
"I never really stuttered much until grade 3, then I started stuttering for like 3 years whenever I talked to anybody lol but then I stopped for some reason."
"man I stuttered for like 1-2 years then one day I stopped. I totally forgot I stuttered I was like 4-5"
"I have a co-worker that has told me when he went into the Army he was cured by his drill instructor, really."
"I used to in the early days, it's all good now, the trick is to REALLY think about what you are trying to say, speak slowly and concise and no rush it.
I used to also record myself on a webcam while reading a paragraph from a novel and record it with the sound on, listen to your voice and replay it and try and locate the problem, it could be just certain words you have trouble saying, i dont know."
"Man I feel ya. Children who haven’t grown out of stuttering by 5-6 generally won’t. People who say just think about what you want to say and say it slowly I know you are trying to help but respectfully you haven’t got a F$%king clue. It’s not so much the stuttering of which there are many types’ repetitive sounds, blocking etc but the fear of stuttering that is the real killer.
I never stuttered, well so I thought because I never used to repeat the same sound over and over, I never knew what was wrong with me all I knew was that I couldn't say certain words in certain situations the harder I would try the more pronounced the block would become. I developed all sorts of phobias about it, used all sorts of tricks to get words out, avoided speaking situations, failed classes, lost friends, and avoided life as to avoid the embarrassment of looking like well in my mind a retard struggling to speak and nothing coming out. I got really good at changing words to avoid this happening though had to go out of my way to avoid situations where I would have to say a certain word.
It was all consuming, all I could think about every day for 20+ years. I contemplated suicide every other day as I felt there was no reason to live if I couldn’t live the way I wanted to. It took a failed suicide attempt to provide the motivation to face my fear.
5 years ago I did something about it and did the McGuire programme in Australia (Also runs in the US) in a 4 day intensive course they had everyone who did the class giving public speeches in the middle of the city. I tell you it was the most liberating experience of my life.
It’s a 4 day intensive course you learn the ins and out of stuttering, you learn the psychology behind it. You get a new breathing technique, speaking technique drilled into you but most of all you get trained in self expression, powerful speaking and not holding back along with many other tools and techniques. At the end of it you also get a personal coach for one year. The course is all run by former stutterers and by the end of it many new students look like professional public speakers.
Since that day I have been the best man at my brothers wedding given a 30min speech, organized fundraises and spoken and events and meetings to raise money for scholarships to the program. It does not cure stuttering and takes practice but does teach eloquence, gives you the tools, freedom and dignity to say what ever you want how you want as well as the ability to be a very good public speaker, running around on stage holding peoples attention, talking in a powerfull voice etc. 5 Students from the last course have recently taken top honors at the local toast masters clubs, suffice to say some graduates from this program become some of the best public speakers I have seen.
There was no way I could overcome this on my own, I needed to overcome the mentality of holding back and emotionally disengage from stuttering. To do this I needed coaching from those who had been through it and a supportive environment which I am happy to say I found with this programme.
hope that helped,
Goodluck"
"It is strange that people even people who not stutter seem to have a fear of silences. Most people when speaking once they start never stop, if there is a point where thinking needs to happen they fill it with an um, ah or some other filler word.
Whether we are aware of it or not we have all attached meaning to how we communicate, we have linked emotional responses that get triggered in certain situations. The trick is to become conscious of what we are doing and be comfortable with pauses
One technique we learn and is the foundation for all that followed was the coastal breathing. This is using the coastal muscles, muscles between the ribs to expand the chest and lower the diaphragm not the stomach. This is how opera singers train and is how people develop strong powerful voices. If your into body building then consider that the diaphragm is one of the biggest muscle in the body and like any other muscle it becomes conditioned to perform in a certain way, stutterers have conditioned it to become locked and ridged and try to force the air out with their mouth, chest or some other strange technique while the diaphram and chest remain locked in place and unmoving, fortunately like other muscles it can be retrained.
Putting the specific technique aside I would first work on becoming conscious of your speaking process. The best way is to focus on your breathing, people can think and process information 2000 times faster than a person speaks. Only 15% of communication is verbal, people are taking in allsorts of information about you by the way you move, body posture, eye contact, inflection in your voice etc while at the same time thinking about what they are about to say. Very little of what people say ever really gets fully heard so don’t worry so much about saying allot very quickly.
Back to the breathing, take a fast and full breath at the very top of that breath when the diaphragm is at its lowest point start speaking while consciously releasing the air, when you are about half way through your breath stop speaking and release the rest of the air and pause there for 3-5 seconds and become aware that is become conscious of what is going on around you, become aware of your thoughts, re-establish eye contact with the other person and conect with them. Inhale again and repeat. ]
This is a very very simplified description and for stutterers the costal breathing technique, perfect timing and eye contact are critical for this to be effective but for others it does help focus the mind and allow you to communicate efficiently with out filler words. This is also exaggerated as 3-5 second pauses in the real world just seem strange so this obviously is to be practiced with some one you know. Usually people who consciously try to pause for 5 seconds there first few times only do for an average of 2 seconds as at first 1 second feels like an eternity.
When you next listen to a public speaker who pauses, take note of how it makes you feel. For me it is captivating, it holds your attention you hang on every word while also having time to think about what is being said vs. someone who never stops all I can do is look at my watch.
Anyway that is only one of many techniques, but maybe a place to start. If want me to keep going let me know, I dont want to bore people
Skill"
"Dude, this was like me, as i said in my previous post, what helped me was becoming a pilot, even more so you have to say things slowly and clearly, concisely and while not rush words or paragraphs.
The best thing i can suggest is to record your self speaking from a paragraph from a book (novel) and then write down the words you have trouble with and practice over and over again. When your out speak to everyone and everyone possibile, even if its just a hello.
Record and play back your conversations on tape would be another suggestion.
hope this helps."
"I used to have stuttering, a lisp, and a problem pronounciating certain words. I also developed an extremely low voice called....okay I forget the name but it's something syndrome.
I found the greatest help to come from learning how to sing, and control my diaphram while breathing. I don't stutter, lisp, or mess up pronounciation anymore! With singing, you really have to pay attention to the mind-muscle relation in your body. Try and find a good voice teacher (most vocal teachers do voice quality improvement as well as singing lessons, and generally use singing exercises to improve voice qaulity in general).
The cool thing about this method is that not only did I get rid of the speech problem... I also learned how to sing very well haha."
"for most hard things in life overcoming the mental side is DIFFICULT, but for stuttering it's EASY. most stutterers can talk to themselves and whispher as good as any non stutter.
it's all about breathing, the core muscles/organs. you must master breathing if you want to become an ultimate fighter, you must master breathing if you want to become a singer and or a great orator.
google on it, use keywords like "breathing" "diaphram breathing" "how to breathe easier" "how to breathe properly/correctly" etc....
if you can talk to yourself when your alone then you can talk to the whole world, it's easier if you imagine that you are talking to yourself as you talk to people.
http://breathing.com/ :::::::::::here's a breathing test you can take, you have to pay for the videos/advice but i'm sure you can find it somewhere on the net for free, plus the knowledge you can from this test is very valuable.
one more thing, HIIT and any high intensity workouts are very very good, become COMFORTABLE to the feeling of high intensity and you can burn more fat, have more energy, and be able to outrun the cops you see running on threadmills (:"
"i had a stutter, and grew out of it. could it also be a confidence thing?
thing is, i've now developed a bit of a speech inpediment(sp?) where i can't say some words properly...only developed in the last couple of years - it sucks."
"When I was in Junior High School, I had a TERRIBLE stutter. I mean, I stuttered every third word. For a couple years, it was really bad, but my parents took me to a speech therapist. I worked with her for a year, learned some techniques, and it got slowly, gradually better throughout high school. By the time I got to Senior Year in high school, it was pretty much gone. I still had bad days, but they were rare.
Now there is no trace of my speech impediment. I don't even remember the last time I stuttered.
Some techniques....
1. Work your way through a hard part of a word. If you're stuck on the "h" in "house", just work your way through that h. Say it as smoothly as you can, concentrating on getting it out. Say, "hhhhhouse." This technique is hard to describe (I suck, I know) but it's REALLY effective if you use it right.
2. The most effective thing is simply to put it out of your mind. Ever notice how now and then you have good days where you hardly stutter at all, but then once you start, you just can't stop? It's because you're nervous, and the more you stutter, the more self-conscious you get, the more you stutter, etc. It's a bad cycle. If you just "forget" you stutter, you'll be a lot better.
There are a lot more, but it's been a long time since I've had to use one. Seriously, find a good speech therapist in your area - they work WONDERS. It turned my life around, really. I was a tormented kid because I had no friends when my stutter was really bad. Everyone made fun of me.
People that don't stutter don't understand it. They don't realize what it's like to literally be UNABLE to say what you want to say. It's very frustrating, especially when people give you a hard time about it. They wouldn't make fun of someone in a wheelchair, but they'll make fun of someone who has trouble speaking. It's ****ed up -they're both handicaps.
Advice for anyone that has to deal with a stutterer:
Don't say "Spit it out" or "Relax" or "Take your time". This only makes the person more self-conscious and nervous, and they'll stutter even more. Don't finish words for them, either - it'll make them feel helpless. Just wait patiently as they work through the word. It sounds counter-intuitive, but it's the best way. Trust me, I would know
If you ever need someone to talk to about your problems with stuttering, feel free to drop me a message. I know how frustrating it can be."
"I stuttered a lot worse when I was younger since I think 2nd grade. I stutter still to this day, but it is a lot better. To help myself overcome it I performed in the school musical in 11th & 12th grade. I had a main part with lots of dialogue. Interesting to note was that the singing was fine, no stuttering sensations at all, but I was deathly afraid of the speaking parts I had. That experience did help me even if I did have to pause unnecessarily long between lines just because I couldn't say the next word. And for me, forcing myself to talk on the phone, going out to order food, talking to employees at stores to ask questions, etc, it all has helped. Also for me, just trying to relax in potentially tense situations helps me. And yes the breathing is very important. When you stutter, your whole stomach/diaphragm is tight, which disrupts the normal process of talking IMO. Anyway, hope that helps. "
I got a lot of replies. Here are some:
"i used to stutter like crazy when i was younger, i went to a speech person (i dont know what you'd call her) and we would go over exercises and shit, didnt help much. the woman would make me call and order food from places, ask questions, stuff like that. as i got older it just went away"
"yeah mine was real bad when i was young, but i still stutter a little. The words that start with s and w bother me a little but you just learn to overcome it over time"
"I never really stuttered much until grade 3, then I started stuttering for like 3 years whenever I talked to anybody lol but then I stopped for some reason."
"man I stuttered for like 1-2 years then one day I stopped. I totally forgot I stuttered I was like 4-5"
"I have a co-worker that has told me when he went into the Army he was cured by his drill instructor, really."
"I used to in the early days, it's all good now, the trick is to REALLY think about what you are trying to say, speak slowly and concise and no rush it.
I used to also record myself on a webcam while reading a paragraph from a novel and record it with the sound on, listen to your voice and replay it and try and locate the problem, it could be just certain words you have trouble saying, i dont know."
"Man I feel ya. Children who haven’t grown out of stuttering by 5-6 generally won’t. People who say just think about what you want to say and say it slowly I know you are trying to help but respectfully you haven’t got a F$%king clue. It’s not so much the stuttering of which there are many types’ repetitive sounds, blocking etc but the fear of stuttering that is the real killer.
I never stuttered, well so I thought because I never used to repeat the same sound over and over, I never knew what was wrong with me all I knew was that I couldn't say certain words in certain situations the harder I would try the more pronounced the block would become. I developed all sorts of phobias about it, used all sorts of tricks to get words out, avoided speaking situations, failed classes, lost friends, and avoided life as to avoid the embarrassment of looking like well in my mind a retard struggling to speak and nothing coming out. I got really good at changing words to avoid this happening though had to go out of my way to avoid situations where I would have to say a certain word.
It was all consuming, all I could think about every day for 20+ years. I contemplated suicide every other day as I felt there was no reason to live if I couldn’t live the way I wanted to. It took a failed suicide attempt to provide the motivation to face my fear.
5 years ago I did something about it and did the McGuire programme in Australia (Also runs in the US) in a 4 day intensive course they had everyone who did the class giving public speeches in the middle of the city. I tell you it was the most liberating experience of my life.
It’s a 4 day intensive course you learn the ins and out of stuttering, you learn the psychology behind it. You get a new breathing technique, speaking technique drilled into you but most of all you get trained in self expression, powerful speaking and not holding back along with many other tools and techniques. At the end of it you also get a personal coach for one year. The course is all run by former stutterers and by the end of it many new students look like professional public speakers.
Since that day I have been the best man at my brothers wedding given a 30min speech, organized fundraises and spoken and events and meetings to raise money for scholarships to the program. It does not cure stuttering and takes practice but does teach eloquence, gives you the tools, freedom and dignity to say what ever you want how you want as well as the ability to be a very good public speaker, running around on stage holding peoples attention, talking in a powerfull voice etc. 5 Students from the last course have recently taken top honors at the local toast masters clubs, suffice to say some graduates from this program become some of the best public speakers I have seen.
There was no way I could overcome this on my own, I needed to overcome the mentality of holding back and emotionally disengage from stuttering. To do this I needed coaching from those who had been through it and a supportive environment which I am happy to say I found with this programme.
hope that helped,
Goodluck"
"It is strange that people even people who not stutter seem to have a fear of silences. Most people when speaking once they start never stop, if there is a point where thinking needs to happen they fill it with an um, ah or some other filler word.
Whether we are aware of it or not we have all attached meaning to how we communicate, we have linked emotional responses that get triggered in certain situations. The trick is to become conscious of what we are doing and be comfortable with pauses
One technique we learn and is the foundation for all that followed was the coastal breathing. This is using the coastal muscles, muscles between the ribs to expand the chest and lower the diaphragm not the stomach. This is how opera singers train and is how people develop strong powerful voices. If your into body building then consider that the diaphragm is one of the biggest muscle in the body and like any other muscle it becomes conditioned to perform in a certain way, stutterers have conditioned it to become locked and ridged and try to force the air out with their mouth, chest or some other strange technique while the diaphram and chest remain locked in place and unmoving, fortunately like other muscles it can be retrained.
Putting the specific technique aside I would first work on becoming conscious of your speaking process. The best way is to focus on your breathing, people can think and process information 2000 times faster than a person speaks. Only 15% of communication is verbal, people are taking in allsorts of information about you by the way you move, body posture, eye contact, inflection in your voice etc while at the same time thinking about what they are about to say. Very little of what people say ever really gets fully heard so don’t worry so much about saying allot very quickly.
Back to the breathing, take a fast and full breath at the very top of that breath when the diaphragm is at its lowest point start speaking while consciously releasing the air, when you are about half way through your breath stop speaking and release the rest of the air and pause there for 3-5 seconds and become aware that is become conscious of what is going on around you, become aware of your thoughts, re-establish eye contact with the other person and conect with them. Inhale again and repeat. ]
This is a very very simplified description and for stutterers the costal breathing technique, perfect timing and eye contact are critical for this to be effective but for others it does help focus the mind and allow you to communicate efficiently with out filler words. This is also exaggerated as 3-5 second pauses in the real world just seem strange so this obviously is to be practiced with some one you know. Usually people who consciously try to pause for 5 seconds there first few times only do for an average of 2 seconds as at first 1 second feels like an eternity.
When you next listen to a public speaker who pauses, take note of how it makes you feel. For me it is captivating, it holds your attention you hang on every word while also having time to think about what is being said vs. someone who never stops all I can do is look at my watch.
Anyway that is only one of many techniques, but maybe a place to start. If want me to keep going let me know, I dont want to bore people
Skill"
"Dude, this was like me, as i said in my previous post, what helped me was becoming a pilot, even more so you have to say things slowly and clearly, concisely and while not rush words or paragraphs.
The best thing i can suggest is to record your self speaking from a paragraph from a book (novel) and then write down the words you have trouble with and practice over and over again. When your out speak to everyone and everyone possibile, even if its just a hello.
Record and play back your conversations on tape would be another suggestion.
hope this helps."
"I used to have stuttering, a lisp, and a problem pronounciating certain words. I also developed an extremely low voice called....okay I forget the name but it's something syndrome.
I found the greatest help to come from learning how to sing, and control my diaphram while breathing. I don't stutter, lisp, or mess up pronounciation anymore! With singing, you really have to pay attention to the mind-muscle relation in your body. Try and find a good voice teacher (most vocal teachers do voice quality improvement as well as singing lessons, and generally use singing exercises to improve voice qaulity in general).
The cool thing about this method is that not only did I get rid of the speech problem... I also learned how to sing very well haha."
"for most hard things in life overcoming the mental side is DIFFICULT, but for stuttering it's EASY. most stutterers can talk to themselves and whispher as good as any non stutter.
it's all about breathing, the core muscles/organs. you must master breathing if you want to become an ultimate fighter, you must master breathing if you want to become a singer and or a great orator.
google on it, use keywords like "breathing" "diaphram breathing" "how to breathe easier" "how to breathe properly/correctly" etc....
if you can talk to yourself when your alone then you can talk to the whole world, it's easier if you imagine that you are talking to yourself as you talk to people.
http://breathing.com/ :::::::::::here's a breathing test you can take, you have to pay for the videos/advice but i'm sure you can find it somewhere on the net for free, plus the knowledge you can from this test is very valuable.
one more thing, HIIT and any high intensity workouts are very very good, become COMFORTABLE to the feeling of high intensity and you can burn more fat, have more energy, and be able to outrun the cops you see running on threadmills (:"
"i had a stutter, and grew out of it. could it also be a confidence thing?
thing is, i've now developed a bit of a speech inpediment(sp?) where i can't say some words properly...only developed in the last couple of years - it sucks."
"When I was in Junior High School, I had a TERRIBLE stutter. I mean, I stuttered every third word. For a couple years, it was really bad, but my parents took me to a speech therapist. I worked with her for a year, learned some techniques, and it got slowly, gradually better throughout high school. By the time I got to Senior Year in high school, it was pretty much gone. I still had bad days, but they were rare.
Now there is no trace of my speech impediment. I don't even remember the last time I stuttered.
Some techniques....
1. Work your way through a hard part of a word. If you're stuck on the "h" in "house", just work your way through that h. Say it as smoothly as you can, concentrating on getting it out. Say, "hhhhhouse." This technique is hard to describe (I suck, I know) but it's REALLY effective if you use it right.
2. The most effective thing is simply to put it out of your mind. Ever notice how now and then you have good days where you hardly stutter at all, but then once you start, you just can't stop? It's because you're nervous, and the more you stutter, the more self-conscious you get, the more you stutter, etc. It's a bad cycle. If you just "forget" you stutter, you'll be a lot better.
There are a lot more, but it's been a long time since I've had to use one. Seriously, find a good speech therapist in your area - they work WONDERS. It turned my life around, really. I was a tormented kid because I had no friends when my stutter was really bad. Everyone made fun of me.
People that don't stutter don't understand it. They don't realize what it's like to literally be UNABLE to say what you want to say. It's very frustrating, especially when people give you a hard time about it. They wouldn't make fun of someone in a wheelchair, but they'll make fun of someone who has trouble speaking. It's ****ed up -they're both handicaps.
Advice for anyone that has to deal with a stutterer:
Don't say "Spit it out" or "Relax" or "Take your time". This only makes the person more self-conscious and nervous, and they'll stutter even more. Don't finish words for them, either - it'll make them feel helpless. Just wait patiently as they work through the word. It sounds counter-intuitive, but it's the best way. Trust me, I would know
If you ever need someone to talk to about your problems with stuttering, feel free to drop me a message. I know how frustrating it can be."
"I stuttered a lot worse when I was younger since I think 2nd grade. I stutter still to this day, but it is a lot better. To help myself overcome it I performed in the school musical in 11th & 12th grade. I had a main part with lots of dialogue. Interesting to note was that the singing was fine, no stuttering sensations at all, but I was deathly afraid of the speaking parts I had. That experience did help me even if I did have to pause unnecessarily long between lines just because I couldn't say the next word. And for me, forcing myself to talk on the phone, going out to order food, talking to employees at stores to ask questions, etc, it all has helped. Also for me, just trying to relax in potentially tense situations helps me. And yes the breathing is very important. When you stutter, your whole stomach/diaphragm is tight, which disrupts the normal process of talking IMO. Anyway, hope that helps. "