Question:Does a stammer=embarrassment?

[Perad]

Is it really embarrassing? I think it is more like having only one leg. It’s annoying... maybe depressing at times. If a stammer is embarrassing does that mean I have to embarrassed of myself every time I speak? I think not.

Further proof of this is simply when you talk to people, especially in the UK, there is now a good understanding about what a stammer is. People are patient, if you want a ticket for a train; the guy patiently waits to hear the destination. If you want a drink at a pub the guy waits for you to speak. If you stop someone in the street to ask them the time, they listen. They don't laugh at you etc.

Definition from an online dictionary

Embarrassed:
Feeling ashamed or shy

When you have a stammer do you feel shy? I am a very outgoing person, a stammer tries to hold you back but its up to you whether you let it or not. If something is important enough to say then it will be important no matter how it is delivered.

Next... ashamed. Why should I feel ashamed? A person gets drunk and makes a racist remark about a colleague. The next day he is ashamed.

I stammer in front of my class and everyone is watching me, should I feel ashamed? I think not.

I see no reason why I should feel ashamed of my stammer, so I take a bit longer to say what I want to say, who gives a shit. Why should someone be ashamed of what they are born with?

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I honestly believe that embarrassment can only be associated to stammering in the following way...

Most people have an embarrassment of fluency

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So I challenge you to ask yourself why you feel embarrassed when you stammer.

Is it because you are different? If that’s the case I will hit you, everyone is different you fool.

Is it because everyone is watching you? I think you will find yourself watching other people when they are speaking; eye contact is a key thing in communication.

So next time you are going red, or you feel hot, ask yourself why. Why you should be embarrassed with what you are born with.

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I leave you with this...

YOU SHOULD NEVER BE EMBARRASSED OF WHAT YOU ARE BORN WITH! If a guy can walk around with a tiny (I mean way below average), I think I can walk around with a stammer.

And

YOU ARE SPECIAL, YOU HAVE SOMETHING THAT MAKES YOU DIFFERENT. In a competitive world you have something that makes you stand out, makes you memorable. Just remember this isn't just a bad thing, it’s a good thing as well. :)

[Vermillion]

Though we shouldn't see it as an embarassment, it is definately a nuisance in our lives.
If you can't agree with that, you are fooling yourself.

[Perad]

Though we shouldn't see it as an embarassment, it is definately a nuisance in our lives.
If you can't agree with that, you are fooling yourself.

I am not saying that it isn't a nuisance, the point is that its not really embarassing. I might be alone in thinking this but i have met enough nice people out there to see that its not really a big thing.

The only people who care about your stammer are bullies and yourself. Everyone else just doesn't really care about it.

[Standingtall]

Sorry to hear about your perad.

I agree to many of your points. Wayne Gretzky is a spokes person for Ford in Canada and he says it best. Change your Attitude, it changes everything.

There are so many emotions envolved concerning one's own development. I don't think shy is in the same group with embarrast or shame. Shame has to do with painful feelings and embarrast is a state of mind. For myself, I would call myself shy, (suspicious, reluctant, wary) best to discribe me. I have used my skills to read people, pick up feelings in a room and depending on the reason for us being there, plays a big part in my participation.

I use to be scared of public speaking, but my late grandmother cured that by saying. Don't be scared to speak up, because if you can get drunk in a public place, fall down all the time and make a fool out of yourself, then you have th courage to speak up. Today, I will speak when asked, but I don't go on a speaking tour.

That advice you gave can be applied to everybody. Mostly everybody is worried about what other people think about them, an imagine or reputation to uphold. In way we are no different in thinking with other people next to us. I agree that most of us accept who we are, but take it way too personally when others don't. Somedays my patience is pretty thin for other people who can't accept my stutter. I personally haven't been to any form of therapy, but I agree on a few of them, when involves working on your stutter as well as the emotional side too.

Like most of you guys and gals, I have been bullied was teased a lot, belittled and it does takes its toll on you emotionally. Like many of you guys, when I know I am comfortable, I will open up and be part of the group and therfore not shy anymore.

I like to think of myself mature enough in my way of thinking regarding my stutter, but haven't reach the peak of the mountain yet. That is why I joined this forum, to lend a hand, show a different trail, offer advice or have a drink with someone else climbing the mountain. I look up and see other people who succeed and try and follow their example. Bruce Willis, Jamel Earl Jones, to name a few.

Well, that is my two cents worth.

[Perad]

Sorry to hear about your perad.

lol, i was talking in general, not about myself. :o

That advice you gave can be applied to everybody. Mostly everybody is worried about what other people think about them, an imagine or reputation to uphold. In way we are no different in thinking with other people next to us. I agree that most of us accept who we are, but take it way too personally when others don't.

The point i was making was that people are very self concious, especially when it comes to their stammer. If you actually take a look around, you will see that the majority of people are not really that bothered about how you speak. Of course there will always be one or two. I just try to focus my mind into thinking if people don't care that i have a stammer, i shouldn't be all cagey and embarassed when the enevitible happens.

Like most of you guys and gals, I have been bullied was teased a lot, belittled and it does takes its toll on you emotionally.

I know, i actually dropped out of school because of this. I was picked on all the way up to my final year. My head was a mess and i thought that people were talking behind my back and i got all depressed. In the end i just stopped going. After leaving it felt like a weight had been lifted. Now ofcourse i feel a bit silly but i am back on track.

I still am a bit cagey, when someone laughs as they walk past me i get worried that they are laughing at me. Fortunately i have developed the *slap*, when i think something like this i get annoyed at myself. "they could have been laughing at anything" etc.

I feel that a key step in the road to fluency is being comfortable with your speech and yourself as a person. Part of this is accepting it and not getting all embarassed.

Now i feel like i am rambling. End

[Standingtall]

hehehe, sorry!!!!

I understand where you are coming from. I know about reputations, I use to get bullied a lot, until I started to fight back, Physcially. The funny part is, I had my nose broken by a girl, who I was teasing. Word got a around that I could defend myself, so I was left alone after that. A few skinny smart ass kids still made fun, but they were not worthy the trouble. That didn't stop the teasing and laughting from the girls and a few guys. I know what you mean, when people are laughting, they might be laughting at you. I notice from a few of my nieces, are pretty sensentive to other people laughting and we have to calm them down. We tell them they are not laughting at you and they quite down. Your right, we are not different then most common folk. Some of us worry about their butts, chest and for a time. I was worried about my nose, who would show up days, before I did.

I guess it is safe to say we agree on one thing, that we need to change, in our attitude and thinking and the world will change. How you change depends on you.