5 Reasons You're Going To Hell

[Zachary]

Okie doke. First, I ripped this from another forum, so whatever. But pretty much like the thread titles says though, list 5 reasons why you think you are going to hell. The thread has massive lol potential. So don't ruin it with any serious logic. I'll start it off :p


I have used my stutter to garner favor over others as the "plucky disabled kid." I can make a Christian think I'm Moses reincarnate.

I accepted oral from a mentally-ill (schizoid) woman once.

I get drunk and smash car windows for fun.

In band class, I d into a classmates mouthpiece. He was a jerk. He never noticed.

I mix and match several religious doctrines to suit my own selfish needs. I'll probably end up taking a tour through a few different hells for this :rolleyes:

Okay, guise? Your turn. Lets do this right. Spill.

[Thehobo]

*walks away, very very slowly*

:)

[Zachary]

*walks away, very very slowly*

:)

You're a month late :p

[emily445455]

<<Is not going to hell.

[Zachary]

You can't even play along? :p Geez. I made this thread about a month ago when the forum seemed to be a total whine fest. Just trying to cheer things up a bit guise! C'mon now :D

[BenLZ]

Number 4 is hilarious. They did something like that in American Pie but it was in a shampoo bottle. Had the jerk found out about that, I don't know if you'd still be here. That's enough to drive completely someone off the wall. I couldn't even fathom what would happen if someone did that to me.

[Nemo]

I accepted oral from a mentally-ill (schizoid) woman once.

That's true bravery, which will disqualify you for hell.

[SgtType]

6. when people with out a stutter mumble up a word or quote Water boy (T-T-Today junior) you look at them with a very serious face and ask them "Are you making fun of me?" and watch them squirm (maybe it's just a marine thing, but it's funny as hell)

[sst]

1. I'm but not in that Richard Simmons way. Most people would prefer their homouals flaming.
2. I've been known to partake in recreational activities. This doesn't include push-ups or sit-ups.
3. I listen to Phil Collins. I also enjoy Boy George.
4. I'm an advocate of downloading music. You shouldn't have to pay to listen to Britney Spears in between mental breakdowns.
5. I'm pro-choice and find humor is abortion. Eggs aren't the only things that are fun to scramble!

Zack, was that my mouthpiece? If so, I forgive you. :P

[TreeBurst]

1. I married a Pagan. No, she doesn't dance in a moon-lit field. But that would be fun.

2. As far back as I can remember, my mom and I would get the giggles whenever we were forced to go to church (holidays, to make the grandparents happy). Invariably, we ended up making fun of the congregation. Especially at funerals.

3. When attending CCD classes (the ones for confirmation or something...I don't remember. I had to sacrifice a wednesday night for multiple years for this BS) I asked too many questions. They finally told me, "Because!". Lacking a logical answer for my questions, I mentally checked out and filled my notebook with moats and draw-bridges. I have a particularly exquisite one that spans multiple pages.

4. I laugh at dead-baby jokes. Hard.

5. While walking to the movie theater with my wife, I saw a bumper sticker on a car that said "Clergy". It had the standard cross as well. I meant to say, to myself, "Oh, clergy." It came out, "Ew, clergy." Completely unintentional. The wife couldn't stop laughing.

[Zachary]

That's true bravery, which will disqualify you for hell.

I kinda thought so too! Looking back, I definitely took a risk with that one! Lol!

Number 4 is hilarious. They did something like that in American Pie but it was in a shampoo bottle. Had the jerk found out about that, I don't know if you'd still be here. That's enough to drive completely someone off the wall. I couldn't even fathom what would happen if someone did that to me.

I know, right?! Haha! Guy wouldn't have done chit aside from get decked in the teeth though :p I wasn't the happiest kid during my highschool years. I seriously regret a lot of what I did, but I feel I've paid my dues though too! Karma is a bish.

[Nemo]

I believe that God has a sense of humour. So nobody in this thread is going to hell. ;)

[urbanmermaid]

I get drunk and smash car windows for fun.



ahahaha i love u

[Zachary]

ahahaha i love u

Long time?!

:D

[emily445455]

lol, nice

.....

[emily445455]

Okie doke. First, I ripped this from another forum, so whatever. But pretty much like the thread titles says though, list 5 reasons why you think you are going to hell. The thread has massive lol potential. So don't ruin it with any serious logic. I'll start it off :p


I have used my stutter to garner favor over others as the "plucky disabled kid." I can make a Christian think I'm Moses reincarnate.

I accepted oral from a mentally-ill (schizoid) woman once.

I get drunk and smash car windows for fun.

In band class, I d into a classmates mouthpiece. He was a jerk. He never noticed.

I mix and match several religious doctrines to suit my own selfish needs. I'll probably end up taking a tour through a few different hells for this :rolleyes:

Okay, guise? Your turn. Lets do this right. Spill.

This is the first time I've actually read the OP for this thread....and all I have to say is ......

WOAH!!! Esp for numbers 2-3 :eek:

[Zachary]

This is the first time I've actually read the OP for this thread....and all I have to say is ......

WOAH!!! Esp for numbers 2-3 :eek:

You make me sadface Ms. Emily. You just now read the thread? Even after posting your initial reply, like 2 months ago? :rolleyes:

So, what kinda dirt are you hiding? :p

[emily445455]

You make me sadface Ms. Emily. You just now read the thread? Even after posting your initial reply, like 2 months ago? :rolleyes:

So, what kinda dirt are you hiding? :p

Lol, yeah not sure why I didn't read the OP until now.

One time I got online and pretended I was someone else and got an ex-bf to meet the fake me somewhere for dinner....obviously the fake me stood him up. He was a real jerk, but I still feel bad for doing that to this day.

[Zachary]

Lol, yeah not sure why I didn't read the OP until now.

One time I got online and pretended I was someone else and got an ex-bf to meet the fake me somewhere for dinner....obviously the fake me stood him up. He was a real jerk, but I still feel bad for doing that to this day.

That's pretty funny actually :p I like.

[emily445455]

That's pretty funny actually :p I like.

Lol, my hubby thought it was funny too. I recently told him that story. I think it's horrible....what a horrible person I am, lol. I'd like to appologize, but hubby told me I shouldn't.

[Demonwolf]

When I was about 10 years old (I dont know what grade that is for you americans) the teacher told me to look after a new kid that came to class. He had just come from another country and was learning english.
He heard someone say a swear word, I think .. b*tch but I'm not sure, and asked me what it meant. I told him it meant a great guy someone that everyone liked. So he goes around class saying to everyone 'Im a b*tch!!', which had everybody laughing crazilly.
I got a good shouting at by the teacher.. but I think it was worth it.. hey I went up in peoples expectations after that.