Breaking a "coping method"

[Perad]

About 2 years ago i found that if i closed my eyes for a second i could say the word first time. I think it was because i was shutting out the world and calming down enough to say the word.

Anyway this was all by accident, unfortunately on major stammers i would close my eyes for moment and get it out.

Now it has been totally adopted and its horrible. It has lead to me walking into several lamp posts and many more low branches lol.

I have got my girlfriend on it, i get a slap everytime i do it. So i have phased it out with her, unfortunately with friends its still instinctive. Its like stammer=close eyes.

I really want to crack this and apart from strapping a device to my eyes which puts 50 bolts through me everytime i close my eyes for more than half a second. Has anyone got any ideas.

[Standingtall]

Hey, I have been doing that for awhile, now. Just in conversation face to face. Another version with harder blocks, I put my head down, close my eyes and with my finger, make the motion of winding up and I could get words out. What do you call that again, getting starting methods/tricks.

[dave]

Secondary actions actions are the easiest to break unlike stuttering. All you have to do is not close your eyes and concentrate on eye contact. When you make eye contact your speech should improve.

I don't mean to sound arrogant.

I used to do the eye closing thing all the time. I still do very rarely. I used to have other secondary actions where i would jerk my head back. I have found myself standing on one foot as a secondary action. I have tell myself to calm down, put both feet on the ground, make eye contact, and the word comes out.

Coping method? closing your eyes or doing anything physically isn't helping your speech. You're just drawing attention to yourself. Put yourself in the other persons shoes. In my case I stutter and when I stutter I jerk my headback, clench my fists, stand on one foot and hop around with my eyes closed. The stuttering isn't creepy, but that is. Thankfully we can do something about that very easily.

[Vermillion]

I sometimes close my eyes when I'm in a hard hard block on the phone. Seems to make it worse.

[Perad]

Coping method? closing your eyes or doing anything physically isn't helping your speech. You're just drawing attention to yourself. Put yourself in the other persons shoes. In my case I stutter and when I stutter I jerk my headback, clench my fists, stand on one foot and hop around with my eyes closed. The stuttering isn't creepy, but that is. Thankfully we can do something about that very easily.

Coping method... a method of coping with something.

Physically it might not be helping but mentally its helping a lot. When you have done it for as long as i have its simply not a case of just keeping eye contact. I find I break eyecontact and look elsewhere, then from elsewhere i shut my eyes and i say the word.

I have been trying to keep eye contact but its fiendishly difficult, i put so much concentration into trying to keep my eyes on target that my speech gets worse.

I think you have over simplified the matter.

I have bobbed on the spot, clenched my fists, pinched my leg etc. But they are easily broken. As i did this to break an extended block.

Eye contact is what i have always tried to avoid, i was ridiculed in school for a long time and in shutting my eyes its some lame attempt to block out what the other person is doing. People have laughed in the past and while i am pretty sure on the service that won't happen, subconciously its just there.

Its just no longer a choice i am making, its like instinct, i was trying the other day not to do it and i found that as soon as i hit a stammer i shut my eyes. Literally instantly and it was through concentration that i opened them again. This is unlike other things i have done because those happened when i hit a prolonged block. Even on the smallest block i find i always shut my eyes, it may just appear to be a slightly ilongated blink. But its there.

Its not a case of hitting a tough patch and then choosing to close my eyes, it happens exactly on the block.

This is the problem, i went to a therapist once and for 2 weeks everytime i did it they said my name and stopped listening until i opened my eyes again. After 2 weeks, everyday 9-5, i had just about broken it in the confines of the group. Outside it was still there.

I am not overstating my problem, i am putting it litterally how it is.

[Standingtall]

I guess we have our own way of getting out of a block. My stutter is way better than my high school days, but I still have my blocks. I have did my eye closed, made faces, did my dance, took a step back and step forward. I even ran out of breath. I will be talking away and then bang, Block, that word doesn't want to come out. I do what you are doing right now Closing my eyes for a brief second, while I regain composer or get that breath back, and trying again helps. Not all the time, sometimes it takes a third time.

A lot of people don't make eye contact, depending on cultural and the person. I don't like making eye contacting because I read body signalls, read expressions and then I use my feelings. I do make eye contact and have that firm hand shake, when need be. Many "regular" speaking people don't always make eye to eye contact. Eyes darting around, some people have many breaks and jump aorund in their sentence. I guess Pared, for your hot girlfriend, you can look Doe, big eye look for her, because it seems important to her. I won't mind if you close your eyes to regain your composer in front of me, because I will know why you are doing it.

[Perad]

I was talking to my parents about this the other day. We have set up a system where they nudge me or stop me speaking when i shut my eyes. Its pretty irritating actually but i am starting to change my ways. Especially in front of my parents and gf. I even told a friend and he slapped me when i shut my eyes lol.

It may not perfect but a month of this over christmas and i might start to break this.