My thoughts and advice on stuttering - from an ex-stutterer

[fegy]

I just watched a stutterer on television wich got me to think how thankful i am that i got out of it. Therefore i wanted to give something back to you guys who still stutter, i dont know what information thats out there but i hope this can be of value.

I wont bore you with my history, ill just tell you that ive stuttered since i was 6 until i was 15. Im 18 now and speak fluidly, i still do it from time to time but nothing more than anyone else and when i do never even think about it. It doesent matter if youre 20 or 35 and still stutter, age doesent matter. You just need more time because your whole identity is based around it. And im swedish btw so dont bother if some sentences might be a little hard to get =)

Some things im about to say can seem a little bit wierd and hard to understand, if you just trust what im saying and read it open mindedly then you will be able to progress. If i could just fit the pieces of the puzzle in your head so you get out of that mindset and see it from my point of view i know you will be able to take steps in the right direction.

Stuttering is ALL in YOUR mind. Its not something physical in you that cant be changed. I have moments where when someone brings it up, say in my family, and as soon as i start to think about it it just bubbles up and sort of my "old self" comes back. And then i can sometimes start to stutter again but when it does, im just thinking its all in my head and nothing more, and all of that is gone.

Its like you know you can say those words, but your mind wont let you. Remember that you are not your mind, as soon as your mind gets the evidence that its all in your head, you can get out if it.

You know when you have sort of periods where some days youre a mad stutterer and some other day you stutter less and sometimes not at all? Think about those days where you stuttered less. A 100% of the time you didnt think about your stutter as much as you did on the days of more stuttering. Now did you think about your stuttering less because you stuttered less or did you stutter less because you thought about it less? ;)


Think about it


Remember that your mind (subconcious or whatever you would like to call it) cant tell the difference between your thoughts and what is real. So therefore if you constantly think about you being a stutterer, you are a stutterer. And when you accept that you stutter, you wont think about it, because you accepted it right? Its all about tricking your mind because thats whats holding you back. For those of you who have tried benzos or alcohol, you didnt stutter when you where intoxicated. Why? Your mind gets temporarily numbed and you dont think as much, you are more in the moment. On the side i can recommend meditation for stopping you thinking and getting you in the moment, and this takes practice.

So when youre out in the real world and you stutter your friends might point it out, strangers may point it out, when you go to therapeutics and doctors to talk about it and they points it out even more, they confirm that youre a stutterer and your mind gets even more evidence that youre a stutterer. Even hanging around here points it out to yourself. You form an entire identity out of it. You need to give your mind evidence that youre the same as everyone else, that you can say whatever you want whenever you want.

Then what do you do when you want to get your mind that evidence?
You know how you stop stuttering when you sing, read out loud or mimic someone?

Think of someone you want to be, say a friend, and emulate him or her when youre talking to lets say a stranger, just for fun. Just act as if you were that person. Do this from time to time, whenever you feel like it. Play around with it. When i did this i would magicly stop stuttering, and it gets you out of your head. This is what made me think in these directions, and in the end got me to stop stuttering.

What ive written here and what anyones written here wont make you stop stuttering, pills or alcohol wont make you stop stuttering, going to a doctor wont make you stop stuttering. Its YOU and only YOU who can make the change. There is no magic pill.

Ive written this to get you thinking in the right direction. Changing yourself takes time. I am absolutely 100% SURE that if you have the right mindset and surround yourself with the right people you can take massive steps and speak completely normal in a year or maybe even 6 months. And the beautiful thing about it is that its permanent.

You are not cut from a different cloth than a person who can speak fluidly, you look the same, you are just as intelligent. This is not downs syndrome or any physical handicap we are talking about here, it is JUST IN YOUR HEAD GUYS. You can change it.

And dont strive for perfection, everyone stutters from time to time.

So as a summary, you have to understand that there is nothing physical that is stopping you from talking, YOU stop yourself. With learning how your mind works and enough willpower you will get it.

I know its tough, ive been there myself for almost all my life. Just be in the moment and stop caring.

Thanks

[ptw]

I like this advice a lot. You're right about it. In a sense your mind is against you. I would would always try to imagine myself speaking fluently in my head, but I never could in my head and the more I tried the worse it would be.

I'm going to work on this. Your mind is your enemy.

[benfica]

What do you do when you are approaching a word in a sentence , while you are speaking to someone, that you know will cause you a stutter? How do you overcome that? I try to substitute another word.

[JR123]

What do you do when you are approaching a word in a sentence , while you are speaking to someone, that you know will cause you a stutter? How do you overcome that? I try to substitute another word.

don't think about it much, even if you stutter its ok, you have to live with it, and eventually it will be gone.

i think what fegy used is the law of attraction (never heard of it?? search for a book named "The Secret"), and it really works, i think i'm going to try this technique.

Thanks for sharing fegy!! :D

[hafidmetal]

this is what im working on,,i alwye try to think that im not a stutterer..it works,, thanks for ur advise

[amey]

Unfortunately, stuttering is one of the only disabilities that the person is actually blamed for the disorder. Do we say to people with either Epilepsy, or Tourettes Syndrome, "It is with in YOU to CHANGE this"?? -- What this information says to people who stutter, is that they are not trying hard enough. That it is ultimately thier fault.-- This thinking is ARCHAIC.--- Science shows that there ARE neurological differences between stutterers and non. Genetic studies HAVE been done and HAVE located a specific gene for families with large amounts of stutterers.---Go visit the NSA website or the NSF site. All the information is there.- - - -I am happy that you are doing well, Fegy.- - - We have all had "fluent" periods in our lives. It comes and goes in Severity. That is one of the great mysteries of stuttering.--Most stutterers have done everything possilbe to stop. Unless neuro surgery of some sort is done, we will continue to be stutterers. And that is o.k.

[benfica]

I've seen the documentary on "The Secret". It is a brilliiant concept. It is basically, as you stated, the Law of Attraction. If you give something enough of your energy and persuasion by thinking about it everyday and leaving reminder notes around you that "I am not a stutterer", you will theoretically become that as you project that energy into the Universe.

[benfica]

Moses was said to be a stutterer. Joe Biden , the VP, I hear is a stutterer aswell.

[amey]

I've seen the documentary on "The Secret". It is a brilliiant concept. It is basically, as you stated, the Law of Attraction. If you give something enough of your energy and persuasion by thinking about it everyday and leaving reminder notes around you that "I am not a stutterer", you will theoretically become that as you project that energy into the Universe.

I dont think this works for disabilities, unfortunately. In the way that this "thinking" would not make a blind person see, or a paralyzed person walk.--this is dangerous, wishful thinking. --Maybe we should hang little notes around that say, "I am a STUTTERER and that is o.k."

[Nemo]

I dont think this works for disabilities, unfortunately. In the way that this "thinking" would not make a blind person see, or a paralyzed person walk.--this is dangerous, wishful thinking. --Maybe we should hang little notes around that say, "I am a STUTTERER and that is o.k."

Well, the problem with this comparison is that whereas blindness and paralysis are physical disabilities, stuttering and stress are partly physical and partly psychological. It's in the grey area between the two, and the rules in the grey area are different. Some stutterers do achieve some fluency to a lesser or greater extent. So in contrast with non-reversible blindness or paralysis, stuttering is not necessarily irreversible.

I agree that it is OK to be a stutterer, and if you are happy with that noun that's also fine, but those of us who work toward stuttering management should not over-emphasise being a stutterer. That would imply accepting and embracing the status quo, and not moving forward and changing toward improved speech. An appropriate stance, for many of us, could be "I occasionally stutter and that's OK" or "Stuttering is OK" instead of "I am a stutterer". Totally accepting yourself as a "stutterer" implies defining yourself in concrete; also defining yourself in terms of a disorder instead of as a human being.

I don't see myself as a stutterer because I don't always stutter, and stuttering is only part of my life and not the whole of my being. We should not under-estimate the power of self-image, and if you over-emphasise the stutterer within you, you will never improve your speech.

[amey]

Well, the problem with this comparison is that whereas blindness and paralysis are physical disabilities, stuttering and stress are partly physical and partly psychological. It's in the grey area between the two, and the rules in the grey area are different. Some stutterers do achieve some fluency to a lesser or greater extent. So in contrast with non-reversible blindness or paralysis, stuttering is not necessarily irreversible.

I agree that it is OK to be a stutterer, and if you are happy with that noun that's also fine, but those of us who work toward stuttering management should not over-emphasise being a stutterer. That would imply accepting and embracing the status quo, and not moving forward and changing toward improved speech. An appropriate stance, for many of us, could be "I occasionally stutter and that's OK" or "Stuttering is OK" instead of "I am a stutterer". Totally accepting yourself as a "stutterer" implies defining yourself in concrete; also defining yourself in terms of a disorder instead of as a human being.

I don't see myself as a stutterer because I don't always stutter, and stuttering is only part of my life and not the whole of my being. We should not under-estimate the power of self-image, and if you over-emphasise the stutterer within you, you will never improve your speech.

You are right, I compared the wrong disabilities. lets compare stuttering then to Tourettes syndrome. A neurological disorder that can be hidden at times. All the wishing in the world is not going to cure a person with this disability. It can be managed, though.

What is stuttering?? It is simply a repetition/blocking of sound. --We as stutterers pile all the other garbage on top, out of need for survival. We go to great lengths to hide this SHAMEFUL, EMBARASSING disorder. We run from this stuttering and the WORD Stutterer makes up shiver.--- calling myself a stutter is not giving into the status quo, it is acknwoledging a simple truth. Most people I know would put me into this category. I am a person who stutterers. Just as I have green eyes and brown hair. I understand not wanting stuttering to be one of the defining characteristic, but it is.- - Onve I was able to say " I am a person who stutters", I was able to DEAL with the situation and address the stuttering management. The hiding was gone. The denial that I was fooling others was gone.--- Saying one is a sttutterer is NOT the problem. The FEELINGS ths person has about the word "stutterer" IS the problem. The feelings are usually ugly, disgusting, and gross. That is why we run, that is why we hate it.- --Do I advocate simply carrying only the Identity of stutter? Of course not. --- But I believe that when we can deal with realtiy straight on, that is when we grow.---I just really feel for people who think if they just wished harder, tried harder, learned to hide it better, etc. that a cure will come.--I prefer to deal with the facts. I am a proud stutterer, who uses management skillss, if you can believe that!

[Thomkatt]

I'm with Amey on this one. If you want to live in a fantasy world that one day your stuttering will just go away your only fooling yourself. I was really surprised by how much of a difference it made to talk about stuttering to other people. I can pretty much hide my stutter but choosing not to really helps. Locking stuttering inside myself really fuels the shame and fears. It leads to avoiding, subsituting, and secondaries and a lot a unecessary stress.

[Punjabi]

Fegy,

Interesting post. I agree with a lot of what you say. Even if there is a
physical cause (and evidence suggests that there is), the phsycological
component can be much bigger, and if that can be reduced/eliminated then
fluence is very much possible - as you seem to have achieved.

So, a question for you - how would you suggest that a stutter start with
taking your path to greater control? What did you do exactly to eliminate
your stutter? What simple steps can we all take to elleviate some of the
problem?

Personally, I have realised the importance of emotional state - it has a
massive impact on my fluency. At Toastmasters, if I am giving a speech
about soemthing I love and am passionate about, then I barely stutter - but
when I have to simply state a couple of routine sentences to describe
something, I block on every 3rd word!

Many thanks in advance.

[kaka]

maybe it is useful to me

[grantM]

Yes stuttering is in your mind in the form of a physical problem that they are trying to identify. Emotions, perceptions and thought etc have an influence at times on it.

I class myself of course as a person sho stutters, but the stutter is such a tiny part of me in comparison to the my whole being

[dookers]

I hate it when people tell me what to do, and what I need to do to cure my stutter forever. Everybody's stutter is unique and there can be no universal technique.

[Violet]

Think of someone you want to be, say a friend, and emulate him or her when youre talking to lets say a stranger, just for fun. Just act as if you were that person. Do this from time to time, whenever you feel like it. Play around with it. When i did this i would magicly stop stuttering, and it gets you out of your head. This is what made me think in these directions, and in the end got me to stop stuttering.

lol. i do that. :rolleyes:

Unfortunately, stuttering is one of the only disabilities that the person is actually blamed for the disorder. Do we say to people with either Epilepsy, or Tourettes Syndrome, "It is with in YOU to CHANGE this"?? -- What this information says to people who stutter, is that they are not trying hard enough. That it is ultimately thier fault.-- This thinking is ARCHAIC.--- Science shows that there ARE neurological differences between stutterers and non. Genetic studies HAVE been done and HAVE located a specific gene for families with large amounts of stutterers....

omfg. this is the reason that all of the speech pathologists i have seen are f-ckers. (there is a new non swearing rule around now right?) When their stupid techniques fail because they have not been taught properly imo, they just bl it on the stutterer for not trying hard enough. like FML.

[simeon]

hello Feggy,

i am new to this forum,and your thread happens to be the first i read as i am very eager to stop my stuttering.

You are absolutely rigth with waht you have written.Stuttering is in the mind. And somtimes i do speak very fluently without stuttering and i will be happy with myself.

sometimes also i stutter so much that i feel embarrased.I stutter more when i am with a close friend or nervous,Why is that so?
But with strangers i tend to control my self.


i will s much i appreciate it if someone can help to stop my sttering.

n.b:please dont mind my typing error.thank.

[theboxer5]

Fegy maybe right about stuttering for some stutterers, not all. Positive affirmations do help my speech sometimes. When I'm about to stutter, the nerves in my brain feel like it's going haywire so it maybe a physical condition I have to deal with. We should take Fegy's advice on positive attitude and use it with the other fluent-speaking techniques.

[N9NEstein]

I just watched a stutterer on television wich got me to think how thankful i am that i got out of it. Therefore i wanted to give something back to you guys who still stutter, i dont know what information thats out there but i hope this can be of value.

I wont bore you with my history, ill just tell you that ive stuttered since i was 6 until i was 15. Im 18 now and speak fluidly, i still do it from time to time but nothing more than anyone else and when i do never even think about it. It doesent matter if youre 20 or 35 and still stutter, age doesent matter. You just need more time because your whole identity is based around it. And im swedish btw so dont bother if some sentences might be a little hard to get =)

Some things im about to say can seem a little bit wierd and hard to understand, if you just trust what im saying and read it open mindedly then you will be able to progress. If i could just fit the pieces of the puzzle in your head so you get out of that mindset and see it from my point of view i know you will be able to take steps in the right direction.

Stuttering is ALL in YOUR mind. Its not something physical in you that cant be changed. I have moments where when someone brings it up, say in my family, and as soon as i start to think about it it just bubbles up and sort of my "old self" comes back. And then i can sometimes start to stutter again but when it does, im just thinking its all in my head and nothing more, and all of that is gone.

Its like you know you can say those words, but your mind wont let you. Remember that you are not your mind, as soon as your mind gets the evidence that its all in your head, you can get out if it.

You know when you have sort of periods where some days youre a mad stutterer and some other day you stutter less and sometimes not at all? Think about those days where you stuttered less. A 100% of the time you didnt think about your stutter as much as you did on the days of more stuttering. Now did you think about your stuttering less because you stuttered less or did you stutter less because you thought about it less? ;)


Think about it


Remember that your mind (subconcious or whatever you would like to call it) cant tell the difference between your thoughts and what is real. So therefore if you constantly think about you being a stutterer, you are a stutterer. And when you accept that you stutter, you wont think about it, because you accepted it right? Its all about tricking your mind because thats whats holding you back. For those of you who have tried benzos or alcohol, you didnt stutter when you where intoxicated. Why? Your mind gets temporarily numbed and you dont think as much, you are more in the moment. On the side i can recommend meditation for stopping you thinking and getting you in the moment, and this takes practice.

So when youre out in the real world and you stutter your friends might point it out, strangers may point it out, when you go to therapeutics and doctors to talk about it and they points it out even more, they confirm that youre a stutterer and your mind gets even more evidence that youre a stutterer. Even hanging around here points it out to yourself. You form an entire identity out of it. You need to give your mind evidence that youre the same as everyone else, that you can say whatever you want whenever you want.

Then what do you do when you want to get your mind that evidence?
You know how you stop stuttering when you sing, read out loud or mimic someone?

Think of someone you want to be, say a friend, and emulate him or her when youre talking to lets say a stranger, just for fun. Just act as if you were that person. Do this from time to time, whenever you feel like it. Play around with it. When i did this i would magicly stop stuttering, and it gets you out of your head. This is what made me think in these directions, and in the end got me to stop stuttering.

What ive written here and what anyones written here wont make you stop stuttering, pills or alcohol wont make you stop stuttering, going to a doctor wont make you stop stuttering. Its YOU and only YOU who can make the change. There is no magic pill.

Ive written this to get you thinking in the right direction. Changing yourself takes time. I am absolutely 100% SURE that if you have the right mindset and surround yourself with the right people you can take massive steps and speak completely normal in a year or maybe even 6 months. And the beautiful thing about it is that its permanent.

You are not cut from a different cloth than a person who can speak fluidly, you look the same, you are just as intelligent. This is not downs syndrome or any physical handicap we are talking about here, it is JUST IN YOUR HEAD GUYS. You can change it.

And dont strive for perfection, everyone stutters from time to time.

So as a summary, you have to understand that there is nothing physical that is stopping you from talking, YOU stop yourself. With learning how your mind works and enough willpower you will get it.

I know its tough, ive been there myself for almost all my life. Just be in the moment and stop caring.

Thanks

Dude its not all mental, what are you talking about? you obviously have never had the NUEROLOGICAL DISORDER of stuttering...

[MichaelWilliams]

Well, the problem with this comparison is that whereas blindness and paralysis are physical disabilities, stuttering and stress are partly physical and partly psychological. It's in the grey area between the two, and the rules in the grey area are different. Some stutterers do achieve some fluency to a lesser or greater extent. So in contrast with non-reversible blindness or paralysis, stuttering is not necessarily irreversible.

I agree that it is OK to be a stutterer, and if you are happy with that noun that's also fine, but those of us who work toward stuttering management should not over-emphasise being a stutterer. That would imply accepting and embracing the status quo, and not moving forward and changing toward improved speech. An appropriate stance, for many of us, could be "I occasionally stutter and that's OK" or "Stuttering is OK" instead of "I am a stutterer". Totally accepting yourself as a "stutterer" implies defining yourself in concrete; also defining yourself in terms of a disorder instead of as a human being.

I don't see myself as a stutterer because I don't always stutter, and stuttering is only part of my life and not the whole of my being. We should not under-estimate the power of self-image, and if you over-emphasise the stutterer within you, you will never improve your speech.
Thank you so much for your reply! It is absolutely fantastic. So relevant and balanced.

Again, thanks.

[angeldust]

I absolutely do agree that with SOME people it is all in the MIND. I definitely know that that is so in my case. I can be rattling on talking away very fluently and then BAM I'm approaching a word that I've programmed myself to stutter on. Straight away, everything is going off in my brain telling me to STUTTER ON THAT WORD, it really drives me crazy!! In regards to making phone calls, same thing, I've programmed all this rubbish into my head. I've actually decided enough is enough and I'm working on this hence the reason I joined this site. I only joined today and I have to say it's a great site!!

[shield]

I personally echo your advice because I experienced the experience.
I never stutter when I speak to one person at my workplace. He is a very polite, gentle, mild and intelligent guy. He always smiles and waits patiently for every single word I have to say even though sometime I make grammar mistakes (English is not my first language).
His manner relaxes me a lot and allows me to totally forget the fact that I stutter.

[Lenny]

Fegy forgot to mention he is still switching words....

[Miko]

great discussion!

i can pretty much hide it as well, but dont really care if i stutter, because a lot of people stutter and are not stutterers. i have my bad days when i am not fluent, but dont think about it.

so i think this means that I am a proud stutterer and actually do pretty well - i can say i am an inspiration for others who do not stutter, because i overcame the FEAR of doing something, altough i still stutter. do you get what i am trying to say?? :)

[Lenny]

lol. i do that. :rolleyes:



omfg. this is the reason that all of the speech pathologists i have seen are f-ckers. (there is a new non swearing rule around now right?) When their stupid techniques fail because they have not been taught properly imo, they just bl it on the stutterer for not trying hard enough. like FML.

you could swear around me, it turns me on, you look so hot!:D

[Lenny]

great discussion!

i can pretty much hide it as well, but dont really care if i stutter, because a lot of people stutter and are not stutterers. i have my bad days when i am not fluent, but dont think about it.

so i think this means that I am a proud stutterer and actually do pretty well - i can say i am an inspiration for others who do not stutter, because i overcame the FEAR of doing something, altough i still stutter. do you get what i am trying to say?? :)

as long as you say you are a proud stutterer, you will always stutter.

really, there is no such thing as a proud stutterer, it just makes you feel better and helps you get thru the day, which makes sense, I do it too but it is only a USEFUL FICTION.

[ForvrKate]

Fegy forgot to mention he is still switching words....

How do you know? Do you know him in real life? I didn't see anything in his message about that.

[Bruce]

Thank you so much for your reply! It is absolutely fantastic. So relevant and balanced.

Again, thanks.

oh michael such a wonderful answer on your part, "so relevant and balanced", glad we got your much needed approval (you sound like an authority)

[Bruce]

I just watched a stutterer on television wich got me to think how thankful i am that i got out of it. Therefore i wanted to give something back to you guys who still stutter, i dont know what information thats out there but i hope this can be of value.

I wont bore you with my history, ill just tell you that ive stuttered since i was 6 until i was 15. Im 18 now and speak fluidly, i still do it from time to time but nothing more than anyone else and when i do never even think about it. It doesent matter if youre 20 or 35 and still stutter, age doesent matter. You just need more time because your whole identity is based around it. And im swedish btw so dont bother if some sentences might be a little hard to get =)

Some things im about to say can seem a little bit wierd and hard to understand, if you just trust what im saying and read it open mindedly then you will be able to progress. If i could just fit the pieces of the puzzle in your head so you get out of that mindset and see it from my point of view i know you will be able to take steps in the right direction.

Stuttering is ALL in YOUR mind. Its not something physical in you that cant be changed. I have moments where when someone brings it up, say in my family, and as soon as i start to think about it it just bubbles up and sort of my "old self" comes back. And then i can sometimes start to stutter again but when it does, im just thinking its all in my head and nothing more, and all of that is gone.

Its like you know you can say those words, but your mind wont let you. Remember that you are not your mind, as soon as your mind gets the evidence that its all in your head, you can get out if it.

You know when you have sort of periods where some days youre a mad stutterer and some other day you stutter less and sometimes not at all? Think about those days where you stuttered less. A 100% of the time you didnt think about your stutter as much as you did on the days of more stuttering. Now did you think about your stuttering less because you stuttered less or did you stutter less because you thought about it less? ;)


Think about it


Remember that your mind (subconcious or whatever you would like to call it) cant tell the difference between your thoughts and what is real. So therefore if you constantly think about you being a stutterer, you are a stutterer. And when you accept that you stutter, you wont think about it, because you accepted it right? Its all about tricking your mind because thats whats holding you back. For those of you who have tried benzos or alcohol, you didnt stutter when you where intoxicated. Why? Your mind gets temporarily numbed and you dont think as much, you are more in the moment. On the side i can recommend meditation for stopping you thinking and getting you in the moment, and this takes practice.

So when youre out in the real world and you stutter your friends might point it out, strangers may point it out, when you go to therapeutics and doctors to talk about it and they points it out even more, they confirm that youre a stutterer and your mind gets even more evidence that youre a stutterer. Even hanging around here points it out to yourself. You form an entire identity out of it. You need to give your mind evidence that youre the same as everyone else, that you can say whatever you want whenever you want.

Then what do you do when you want to get your mind that evidence?
You know how you stop stuttering when you sing, read out loud or mimic someone?

Think of someone you want to be, say a friend, and emulate him or her when youre talking to lets say a stranger, just for fun. Just act as if you were that person. Do this from time to time, whenever you feel like it. Play around with it. When i did this i would magicly stop stuttering, and it gets you out of your head. This is what made me think in these directions, and in the end got me to stop stuttering.

What ive written here and what anyones written here wont make you stop stuttering, pills or alcohol wont make you stop stuttering, going to a doctor wont make you stop stuttering. Its YOU and only YOU who can make the change. There is no magic pill.

Ive written this to get you thinking in the right direction. Changing yourself takes time. I am absolutely 100% SURE that if you have the right mindset and surround yourself with the right people you can take massive steps and speak completely normal in a year or maybe even 6 months. And the beautiful thing about it is that its permanent.

You are not cut from a different cloth than a person who can speak fluidly, you look the same, you are just as intelligent. This is not downs syndrome or any physical handicap we are talking about here, it is JUST IN YOUR HEAD GUYS. You can change it.

And dont strive for perfection, everyone stutters from time to time.

So as a summary, you have to understand that there is nothing physical that is stopping you from talking, YOU stop yourself. With learning how your mind works and enough willpower you will get it.

I know its tough, ive been there myself for almost all my life. Just be in the moment and stop caring.

Thanks

sounds like a bunch of happy horseshit, gives absolutely no info on how it is done, does not really specify how bad his speech was and, wait, yes, because of his extremely positive, self-assured, definite cl that he no longer stutters it can only mean one thing:HE HAS SOMETHING TO SELL LIKE MIKO AND SIR MICHAEL WILLIAMS!!!!

[Lenny]

How do you know? Do you know him in real life? I didn't see anything in his message about that.

ok but how in the real world can you be a proud stutterer, you can accept it if you can't fix it, that makes sense, you can be confident within yourself if you want to, that makes sense, but :

to be a proud stutterer is silly , how can you be proud of something you wish you didn't have and if you didn't have it your life would be vastly improved and normal......

but if you and him wants to be a proud stutterer, I proudly support you!!!

[fegy]

What is funny is right after i made this post, i started to stutter just like i did back when i was younger for a couple of days... And that really freaked me out. Making that post caused me to think about it and so my stuttering broke out again, and that was kinda scary to me since ive got used to being able to speak fluently and thats also why i didnt post here anymore after that.

To answer your posts; of course the neurological patterns in the brain in stutterers are different from normal people, neurological pathways even differ from religious people to atheists. The brain is always changing and evolving and creates new neurological pathways every day, especially if youre working on yourself and trying to change the way you think.

The thing isnt to try to supress it, but you have to accept it first and when you do stutter just dont focus on it. Normal people get blocks too, pretty often actually, and they just plow through it without even recognizing it. Its because their minds doesent even register it because its not inside of their reality (doesent "click" into their identity). Its all about learning how to shift your focus really. Another thing is that many stutterers are more to themselves than normal people because they feel like they dont want to make a fool of themselves, i was like this. So my advice is to get out there and talk to a lot of people, talk talk talk and get some practice. Yes, you can actually get more fluid by just talking a lot.

My biggest advice is stop hanging around here and keep reinforcing your identity as a stutterer, and get out there and socialize! (and when you do, dont be outcome dependent, these things will take time. Like i said, there is no magic pill for this)

[fegy]

, i just made a huge post and it dissapears... Bummer.

Well i dont really feel like writing much more but basically what i wrote was that i didnt check back to this forum after i made that first post because me writing that post caused me to start stuttering again like i did when i was younger for a couple of days. Really freaky stuff but it also proves my point, when i wrote it i started thinking about it, and that made me stutter.

The thing is to accept the fact that you stutter, normal people get blocks too but they just plow through it without even thinking about it because their minds dont dont recognize it because its not part of their reality (or identity). The thing is really just to shift your focus. This is the hardest part actually.

About the neurological patterns in the brain, of course stutterers differ from normal people when looking at the brain, but so does religious to atheists brains too. Your neurological pathways is always changing and evolving, so changing the way you think is actually physically changing the brain, wich is also why this can be so hard and why it takes time. Its about changing your thinking habits, and that is what i explained in my first post.

My biggest advice is to go out and talk to people, socialize more and get practice, because i know that a lot of stutterers keep to themselves because they feel like they are making fools of themselves, thats how i was. Be with others so much that you dont have time for yourself and time to think, because thinking about it is the problem. You think about it too much.

You become better at talking by talking more, because it is a skill, your comfort zone gets bigger (google this if you dont know what it is) making you more relaxed and the "stuttering ratio" gets lower. I am 100% sure of this. And while doing this, dont think about your progress, dont be outcome dependent because it will cause you to think about it and thats not what we want. I hope you find this helpful guys! Stop caring!

[Lenny]

sure is a lot of advice to give all at one time and to keep track of while you are speaking!!

sometimes I think people come up with all these ideas in order to distract themselves from the reasons why they stutter!!

[Aleqsa]

It's easy to say this...I tried not to think I stutter, but I just can't do it...I think about it all the time and I KNOW IT'S ALL IN MY MIND, BUT IT'S SO HARD TO OVERCOME THIS PROBLEM!!!!! Sometimes I cry and cry because I just can't take it anymore.I ask myself: why me? my parents are angry at me because they think I don't fight to overcome my speech problem, but it's so easy to say this if you don't know how it feels.Oh well, I'm always waiting that a miracle will make me speak fluently...

[InMyHead]

Thank you for this post. I am just joining the , but have already found so many parallels in the way you think and manage your speech. It really resonated with me when you talked about disconnecting

"Its like you know you can say those words, but your mind wont let you. Remember that you are not your mind, as soon as your mind gets the evidence that its all in your head, you can get out if it

What a relief knowing that other people are dealing with the same mental blocks. Congratulations on your success and good luck for the future :)

[Hans]

Fegy,

Interesting post. I agree with a lot of what you say. Even if there is a
physical cause (and evidence suggests that there is), the phsycological
component can be much bigger, and if that can be reduced/eliminated then
fluence is very much possible - as you seem to have achieved.

So, a question for you - how would you suggest that a stutter start with
taking your path to greater control? What did you do exactly to eliminate
your stutter? What simple steps can we all take to elleviate some of the
problem?

Personally, I have realised the importance of emotional state - it has a
massive impact on my fluency. At Toastmasters, if I am giving a speech
about something I love and am passionate about, then I barely stutter - but
when I have to simply state a couple of routine sentences to describe
something, I block on every 3rd word!

Many thanks in advance.

Hi Punjabi,
I suspect Fergy didn't give any specific advice because, as I've experienced many times, most stutterers will say "I'm different, this wouldn't work for me".

It really helps to keep in mind that stuttering is a symptom of, lets call it fear of what people think of me. While everyone displays a slightly different set of symptoms, ie. blocking, repetitions etc, they are still only symptoms of an underlying behavior. Change this behavior and the symptoms will change or even disappear.

So, what did you do differently, you might ask. Like Fergy, I decided to talk to many people ( I joined a Men's Group). There I found acceptance of me the stutterer. I stopped trying not to stutter and just talked. Accepting my stutter doesn't mean liking it; just not fighting it. After a while I was able to stop monitoring my stuttering and actually connect a little with my audience. The more I let go of me, the more I forgot me, the more I noticed and learned about the men I spoke with. They also had problems to deal with. Half of them were going through difficult divorces, were afraid of loosing their kids. Others were lonely or socially inept in some way. I learned to look into another mans face for 15 minutes and feel comfortable doing so. I formed great friendships and within 8 months was able to say one evening, "I've decided to stop stuttering".
7 years on, I'm 65 years old. My speech can be perfect if I want it to be. Mostly, I don't think about it. If I notice the old fear of words coming back, I know I've lost touch with those around me. I'm not a touchy-feely person, but actually laying my hand on someone's arm or shoulder instantly forms the warmest connection; the fear of stuttering melts away like snowflakes in a warm breeze.
Finally, to those of you who don't believe, go see the film "Matrix". Just like the hero did in this story, I urge you too to believe when I say: everything you believe, were ever told about your stutter, is a lie. It is NOT REAL.

To those who can't or won't believe me: you too are right; you're different.

Hans

[Hans]

My posts some years ago stirred up a lot of heated debate and upset many people. What's wrong with these people, I thought. Why don't they at least try what worked so well for me, I asked myself.
Some days ago my self-righteous chest beating was interrupted by something I saw on TV:
A patient walks into his doctor’s surgery trailing an intense smell of rotting fish.
Doc, you’ve got to help me. I’m an outcast in this village; everyone thinks I don’t wash or change my clothes. No matter how much I shower, this stink never leaves me. It’s ruining my life.
After some simple tests, the doctor tells his smelly patient that he has a very rare disease which causes his skin to produce this odor; it’s also incurable.
You mean there’s something actually wrong with me, the man asks, a smile spreading over his face. Hey, I’m special; I’ve got something incurable! Thanks doc.
He leaves, a happy man.

Now imagine telling this man that his doctor’s diagnosis is wrong. There’s nothing wrong with him at all. All he has to do is change his belief that he stinks and it will slowly disappear. It’s all up to him. Oh, and you intend to tell the whole world so that others with this affliction will also receive this great news: there’s nothing wrong with you all; you can stop stinking any time you like as long as you’re prepared to do the work required. Everyone will know your "disease" is nothing of the kind. It’s all in your head. You may now thank me profusely.
To the medical profession you say: I’ve cured myself of the same disease by just thinking clean thoughts. You quacks don’t know what you’re talking about.
Expensive, hard-won professional reputations will be ruined if you’re right.
Get the drift? No ulterior motives here, just plain old self-preservation.

I see now I’m a terrible communicator. To all who stutter or treat it, my message stinks. It’s as hard to accept as Charles Darwin’s proclamation,that we descended from a bunch of smelly Apes, was at the time.

And yet, in its own way, every ex-stutterer's message is just as important. They know what works. It just needs to be delivered in a better way.

How then? Too many people are hurt every day by something that's very real to them and not just in their heads.

I don't know, but Darwin persevered because he knew he was right.

Hans

[Danberry]

I whole heartedly agree with fegy.

Its all in our heads. The trick is to desentisize your brain to the fear of speaking. it will not happen in a week, or month, but it will happen.

Once you show your brain, its all right to speak, that you wount die because you stuttered, the brain it self will fear speaking less, and thus reward you with less stutters. The decreased frequency of stutters, will change your mindset, albeit a little teeny tiny bit at a time, and this will feed back into your thought process the next time you need to speak.

That right there is the process to freedom. Changing the negative feedback loop to a positive one.

The trick is in not giving up.

[Elsha]

My advice, (1) accept who are (2) Never hold back, if you have something to say, say it, (3) analyse your speech, think about were you going wrong, (holding your breather, forcing you tongue against your teeth, forcing your lips together, specific words or letters, situations, etc) and work on improving it. (4) Dont let fear beat you, if one of your biggest fear is asking the shop staff for help, go out one day and ask staff for assistant until you feel comfortable.

My main advice, DONT LET YOUR MIND CONTROL YOU, TALK AS OFTEN AS YOU CAN, TALK FOR THE SAKE OF TALKING.

[Paul Bartlett]

Word substituting is a kind of stuttering. Stop doing it immediately. It leads to your saying ridiculous things. Here is something I just posted on a new thread.

What Works for Me - 2011.

I have not been to this web site in many years. The stuttering that dominated my life for over 50 years has become a miner nuisance in my life. I now give lectures and speak at professional meetings on a daily basis. This message is to share some things I have learned through decades of speech therapy.

First of all, I am convinced that stuttering is the sum total of all the things I do trying not to stutter. Trying harder and harder to not stutter does not work. I need to re-define success. Success is whether or not I follow my stuttering management plan (below). Fluency follows as a by-product.

Most all of my lecture notes have EM, LC, P, GFS written on the top. This is to remind me of my objectives regarding my speech.

1. Exaggerated movement. Watch how wide the announcers on TV open their mouths when they talk. Now watch yourself in the mirror. Open your mouth really wide when you talk. Exaggerate all other tongue and lip movements too. This technique is very similar to traditional methods such as prolongation.

2. Light contact. Refuse to put any tension or “muscle” into a block. Keep your mouth loose and never let it tense up. You actually do have control of this. Did you ever try to write something down so urgently that you squeezed the pencil so hard that your penmanship was terrible? Or try so hard on a golf swing that you squeezed the club way too hard? Too much tension hurts your control. Go ahead and stutter, just do it with a loose and relaxed mouth. Your blocks will be much better without all that tension.

3. Pace. Talk slowly and don’t have fits of fast speech with lots of starts and stops. Talk like John Wayne and James Earl Jones (both former stutterers). Don’t stop when you see a block coming. Don’t accelerate when you have a moment of fluency. Maintain a steady pace.
4a. God. Remember what is important. Let God use me as he will. It’s out of my hands. Concentrate on communicating, because it is an important message.
4b. Family. My family is more important to me. Count my blessings.
4c. Strut. This is my way of remembering to puff up my self confidence just before I start speaking.

This has been a good system for me, and I hope some elements may be useful to you. Stop caring so much about what others think of you. Plan your work; then work your plan. For me, fluency is a target that I can’t hit by ing straight at it.

[missme]

It's easy to say this...I tried not to think I stutter, but I just can't do it...I think about it all the time and I KNOW IT'S ALL IN MY MIND, BUT IT'S SO HARD TO OVERCOME THIS PROBLEM!!!!! Sometimes I cry and cry because I just can't take it anymore.I ask myself: why me? my parents are angry at me because they think I don't fight to overcome my speech problem, but it's so easy to say this if you don't know how it feels.Oh well, I'm always waiting that a miracle will make me speak fluently...
i totally agree with u

[Hans]

Dear Aleqsa and missme,
You think about stuttering every day, certainly every time you need to speak:
“I will stutter, and I will hate it”.
Saying or thinking this numerous times every day can have only one result. You guessed it; it will become your truth.
Say and think the opposite often enough ( I’m normal and everyone likes me) and eventually it will become your truth, your reality. That, in a nutshell, is what happened to me.

Nothing changed until I changed.

Or you can wait for that miracle.

Hans

[jamesm]

nice points Danberry

[neilfox]

There is something to be said for mind over matter for sure. But I think being young and motivated to change is a REALLY big part of it. I was a super rebellious kid and didnt want to accept that I stuttered. Coming from that perspective there would be no possible way to change. I think thats great you've reached a level of fluency that you're comfortable with, whats even better is not identifying with "what you think you are." Im 33 now, and only really started to address my stuttering from an open perspective. But a big part of this is keeping an open mind, and accepting that none of us have all the answers and we'll all find something that works for us. For you, its telling yourself its all in your mind. For others though who feel a sense of shame about it, this would only feed more fuel to the fire when it didnt work.

[Wonthushup]

I hope comments on this post is still relevant.

I gets me when so called "ex-stutterers" cl to have gotten over their stuttering while at the same time admitting that it creeps up on occasion. If someone is truly an ex-stutterer it would never come back. Once you stutter you will always be a stutter, people can only successfully work around it where it is no longer a hindrance.

Being a successful convert stutterer doesn't make you an ex-stutterer.

[leroy]

i just watched a stutterer on television wich got me to think how thankful i am that i got out of it. Therefore i wanted to give something back to you guys who still stutter, i dont know what information thats out there but i hope this can be of value.

I wont bore you with my history, ill just tell you that ive stuttered since i was 6 until i was 15. Im 18 now and speak fluidly, i still do it from time to time but nothing more than anyone else and when i do never even think about it. It doesent matter if youre 20 or 35 and still stutter, age doesent matter. You just need more time because your whole identity is based around it. And im swedish btw so dont bother if some sentences might be a little hard to get =)

some things im about to say can seem a little bit wierd and hard to understand, if you just trust what im saying and read it open mindedly then you will be able to progress. If i could just fit the pieces of the puzzle in your head so you get out of that mindset and see it from my point of view i know you will be able to take steps in the right direction.

Stuttering is all in your mind. Its not something physical in you that cant be changed. I have moments where when someone brings it up, say in my family, and as soon as i start to think about it it just bubbles up and sort of my "old self" comes back. And then i can sometimes start to stutter again but when it does, im just thinking its all in my head and nothing more, and all of that is gone.

Its like you know you can say those words, but your mind wont let you. Remember that you are not your mind, as soon as your mind gets the evidence that its all in your head, you can get out if it.

You know when you have sort of periods where some days youre a mad stutterer and some other day you stutter less and sometimes not at all? Think about those days where you stuttered less. A 100% of the time you didnt think about your stutter as much as you did on the days of more stuttering. Now did you think about your stuttering less because you stuttered less or did you stutter less because you thought about it less? ;)


think about it


remember that your mind (subconcious or whatever you would like to call it) cant tell the difference between your thoughts and what is real. So therefore if you constantly think about you being a stutterer, you are a stutterer. And when you accept that you stutter, you wont think about it, because you accepted it right? Its all about tricking your mind because thats whats holding you back. For those of you who have tried benzos or alcohol, you didnt stutter when you where intoxicated. Why? Your mind gets temporarily numbed and you dont think as much, you are more in the moment. On the side i can recommend meditation for stopping you thinking and getting you in the moment, and this takes practice.

So when youre out in the real world and you stutter your friends might point it out, strangers may point it out, when you go to therapeutics and doctors to talk about it and they points it out even more, they confirm that youre a stutterer and your mind gets even more evidence that youre a stutterer. Even hanging around here points it out to yourself. You form an entire identity out of it. You need to give your mind evidence that youre the same as everyone else, that you can say whatever you want whenever you want.

Then what do you do when you want to get your mind that evidence?
You know how you stop stuttering when you sing, read out loud or mimic someone?

Think of someone you want to be, say a friend, and emulate him or her when youre talking to lets say a stranger, just for fun. Just act as if you were that person. Do this from time to time, whenever you feel like it. Play around with it. When i did this i would magicly stop stuttering, and it gets you out of your head. This is what made me think in these directions, and in the end got me to stop stuttering.

What ive written here and what anyones written here wont make you stop stuttering, pills or alcohol wont make you stop stuttering, going to a doctor wont make you stop stuttering. Its you and only you who can make the change. There is no magic pill.

Ive written this to get you thinking in the right direction. Changing yourself takes time. I am absolutely 100% sure that if you have the right mindset and surround yourself with the right people you can take massive steps and speak completely normal in a year or maybe even 6 months. And the beautiful thing about it is that its permanent.

You are not cut from a different cloth than a person who can speak fluidly, you look the same, you are just as intelligent. This is not downs syndrome or any physical handicap we are talking about here, it is just in your head guys. You can change it.

And dont strive for perfection, everyone stutters from time to time.

So as a summary, you have to understand that there is nothing physical that is stopping you from talking, you stop yourself. With learning how your mind works and enough willpower you will get it.

I know its tough, ive been there myself for almost all my life. Just be in the moment and stop caring.

Thanks


your speech problem must have been mild, right?

[JasL]

I hope comments on this post is still relevant.

I gets me when so called "ex-stutterers" cl to have gotten over their stuttering while at the same time admitting that it creeps up on occasion. If someone is truly an ex-stutterer it would never come back. Once you stutter you will always be a stutter, people can only successfully work around it where it is no longer a hindrance.

Being a successful convert stutterer doesn't make you an ex-stutterer.

... when you start analysing "normal fluent people" you realise NOONE is 100% fluent all the time. People use all type of fillers like "um" and like, ramblings, repeats and even have a very slight stutter without even realising it. Truth be told the bar is not set very high, unfortunately stutterers get it in their heads that they have to be 100% fluent, which is unrealistic and unnecessary.

An ex stutterer in my opinion is a person who is no longer a victim of stuttering. Someone who is confident and places more value on being an effective communicator than simply trying to be "fluent"