something i want to mention

[annamm]

I am not a stutterer myself, but I came online to do some research about the issue as my eight-year-old niece has had a stuttering problem for some years now, and her parents have not been very supportive of her in terms of getting help and I was wondering if there was any way that maybe I could help her.

Anyway, though, I wanted to mention a different issue..... as I have been reading the threads here, it seems like a lot of people here are very worried about how they will be perceived by the opposite because of their stuttering, and that their dating/ lives suffer as a result. But I wanted to say, that... As a 19-yo female heteroual college student, I don't think that I would ever be turned off of a guy simply because of a stutter. A stutter can definitely be cute sometimes (eg: Hugh Grant). I can totally understand why a stutterer would be nervous around someone of the opposite , but I can't imagine ever thinking to myself, "well, that guy has a stutter, therefore I would never try to date him."
In general when I meet guys, I look at the big picture... And there ARE some individual qualities that may be the turn-offs in and of themselves (I won't mention specifics) but stuttering isn't one of them. If anything, a guy that stutters but still had confidence to talk to a girl would make me more likely to like him, as it would show strength of character. Just something I wanted to say.... Sorry for making an account even though I'm not a stutterer, I just really wanted to be able to say this.

[micaelap]

Hi Annam,

I appreciate you taking the time to write this post. I want to point out that, although well intentioned, the example you provide of a "cute" stutterer - Hugh Grant - is not accurate coz he doesn't stutter. He might, on occasion, stumble on a word or two and might see himself in a position of starting over, and yes, I think that's adorable, but he's not a stutterer in the strict sense and does not deal with what we stutterers have to deal with on an every day basis.

I don't know if you realize the implications of the issue of stuttering and all that accompanies it... For example, there's the Primary Behaviours: Prolongation, Repetition and Blocks. And Secondary Behaviours (have never seen Hugh Grant display any of these): Examples might be physical movements such as sudden loss of eye contact, eye-blinking, head jerks, hand tapping, interjected "starter" sounds and words, avoidances, etc.

Having said that, I commend you for being open to finding the person behind the stutter and not turning guys down because of it...