Speach problem.. 1st contact.. Any answers

[slimj]

Trying to keep this brief - Im a 31year old male, have a good job (don't have great communication skills - i will come to this) and don't have a problem with relationships etc etc or life in general.
However i do have a speach problem and i have never spoken about it before apart from to my parents... so this is a big step for me.
I seem to have a mild form of stutter which seems to come and go dependant on how im feeling i guess..!!
Some days im fine and happy and seem able to speak with no problem to an extent. Other days when i don't feel as alert or tired my speach can be awfull i.e difficultly getting certain words out thus creating a stuffer. This escpecially comes over me when nervious. i find that when i go out socializing and drinking im fine and very confident with women and my speach problem disappears..!! weird..!!
The older i have got obviously the better i can handle it... but its starting to affect my work as i should be a lot more confident in meetings etc and i think this will hinder / stop any further progression up the ladder of success.
The worse time for me to get words out is when someone is giving me direct eye contact... and i find im always fine with some people and not with others.. im guessing its all about feeling comfortable and nervious. Its fustrating and i have been known to loose my temper.
I asked my parents why they didn't send me to a speach therapist when i was a child and they say they didn't think it was serious enough..!! I've kind of never forgiven them for that.

If anyone has anything to say on the above your help/advise would be greatly appreciated, or if anyone else has similar problems then please feel free to get in touch.

[Standingtall]

I like that, 1st contact. Captain, finding few intelligent life forms on this planet. First, I like to say welcome. I share a similiar story with you today. My stutter was pretty bad when I was younger, but my speech became more fluent as I gotten older. Maybe it has to do with confidence with myself. I understand about the eye contact thing, some people have a stronger personallity and it came be initimidating. I understand about your parents, not making your stutter a big deal, they have their reasons and I am sure they are pretty good. I have twin girls and they are stuttering and I want them to start speech therapy. I was told they are only 4, give them time to out grown it. It is really hard on the patience part because you want to do something right now. Once again welcome and see you out in the forum.

[slimj]

Thanks very much for replying, its nice to hear from you.
You mentioned about your 2 daughters, do they stutter because its been pasted down to them? I'm just worried that if i have any children that the same thing may happen. Is there any other history of speach problems in your family?
I seem to be the first... sometimes i wonder if it was because i was a breech birth and it damaged my brain in some way i.e. that lack of oxygen to the brain. Or something to do with my parents splitting up at a very early age.. not actually remembering that part of my childhood very well.
Once again thanks for your reply.

[Standingtall]

My wife asked about that and the nurse asked if someone in the family stutters and she said yes. My daughters were born with lateral clef lip and palate, but I don't think that caused their stutter. I do have family history but on my mother's side. I had one other brother and sister, who out grew their stutter. Another brother had one of his daughter stutter for a very brief period, but she out grew it. Another sister, her boy started but out grew it. I got a few first cousins who stutter today. In fact, I know an lot of people that stutter. You would be surprise on how many intelligent life forms are on this planet.

My parents slip too and one brother and I lived with our grandmother and father. Bitter dispute. In time you will become confortable and you will not notice your stutter so much. I guess more confidence in yourself and your stutter will soon disappear. Talk to you soon.

[slimj]

hmm you certainly do know a lot of people with speach problems.. i don't think i know of any.! I actually wish i did.. i could then maybe speak to someone about it.
I don't think my stutter will ever go away... i am already very confident about myself .. if not over confident. I have tried to moniter any patterns and it seems to boil down to how i feel... you can't make yourself confident, its just something that comes with time. I'm also very sensitive (although i put up this hard rugby player exterior) i can take things to heart very easy.. as i often do. Especially with my loved ones.
I wonder if it was something to do with my breech birth and oxygen not getting to my brain fast enough.. that could have damaged my speech.
Also i do talk quite fast when im going through a fluent patch so im quiet hyper and my brain never stops thinking about things and i do worry a lot about things. Am i going off the subject now..?
I just think its a amalgamation of problems...
To be honest the speach problems do not have that much of an impact on my life.. its bearable and i have learn't to handle it very well. Some times better than other times.
Anyway its very good to speak on hear freely and this is helping me no end... I'm starting to think myself lucky as some of the speach problems im reading about are much worse than mine... which has made me think much less of my problem.

I have been smiling most of the day which is good as i've been fairly down recently. Thanks Speak soon.

[Standingtall]

I hear you about thinking my speech is not that bad. My wife has this friend, who makes me feel fluent. I don't know if you had this experience, but if someone has a worse stutter, did you notice you are having less problems.

I think that is a common among us stutter because I am pretty senstive and take things way to personal. I hear you about the confidence. Confidence builds after you do something that you don't think you can. I have asked a few women out for coffee and many of them said yes, and a few said another time but I came back later, because of the confidence that grew inside of me. I had a few successful presentations and the odd bad ones. The successful ones makes me want to keep going out and doing presentations. During meetings I ask questions and give my reports and now, I don't even think about my stutter, when walking into the meeting room.

Yeah, there was another thread I can't think of right now, but I do watch people and how they speak. I have spotted many closet stutterers. It is all the way you study yourself and then you seen many of those traits when you use to hide your stutter, you see in other people. I don't know, but I seem to find them. Don't know if you notice it or not. It's like when you buy an white car and them all of a sudden you see a lot of that white cars everywhere.

[slimj]

You sound very similar to me... although i am only 31, maybe by the time im your age i will be much more confident and able to manage presentations etc as you do. Couldn't think of anything worse at present.. Gulp..!!
I'm not quite following what you mean by closet stutterers... can't say i ever try to hide my stutter. I've always been kinda what you see is what you get. No one has ever really taken the p**s out of me either about it unless its really obvious im struggling then i make a joke out of it myself.. Give's people the freedom to laugh :-)

[Standingtall]

I don't know if it is the right word to use, how about coming out, or being truthful with myself. I was embarrassed very badly in school by an teacher I almost became a mute. I tried very hard to hide my stutter, used all the tricks in the book. from not speaking to shaking my head saying I don't know the answer when I did. I replaced words with different one, making it look like I was looking for the right word to say. The bottom line, I didn't want to get hurt again or embarrassed. I became very good at reading people because of that.

Coming out, was simply, I had enough. I was so stressed out because of living in fear and decided I was not going to spend the rest of my life like this. I had a few shock looks on a few friends when they realized I stutter and not hiding my blocks or my Fred Astire moves when getting words out. Hope you follow now.

[brownie]

Hi. This is also my first contact. I am a 25 year female who understands your frustation. My stuttering seems to be worse on the phone so I try to avoid the telephone. Anyway, I stuttered when I was a young child and my parents sent me to speech specialist. I went through school and graduated college without ever having the stutter, but now it has returned. So my point is don't blame your parents for not getting you help when you were younger, the stuttering can return. At least it did in my case.