Confess your stutter... solved?

[aKoChiC86]

Hi, I am a stutterer against my will :)
Normally, I am not known to be a very articulant and chatty person. Still, I have things to say from time to time and I hate it when my stutter makes me tense and making me unable to speak.

I have never said to anyone that I stutter, they know it well enough already... I think. Or at least they do not view the problem as I do.

Now, I would like to hear from you. Have you kept your stutter by yourself or... do you find it easy to confess it to people, to open up?
I have been quite unopen a long time, but I just met this girl via internet and we have talked by phone. I like her a lot, and already ont he phone I have stuttered and kept some words in. I tihnk I will confess my stutter to her, the sooner the better.

I am interested if that helps keeping you fluent or not. This may or may not change the fact that I stutter when I order a drink at a cofeeshop :/

[Perad]

Hi, I am a stutterer against my will :)

erm who stutters willfully?

Now, I would like to hear from you. Have you kept your stutter by yourself or... do you find it easy to confess it to people, to open up?

If people are brave enough to ask what is up with me then ofcourse i am more than happy to answer. When i am on the phone and stutter like a i find that laughing and quickly explaining i have a stutter really helps. It takes a lot of the pressure off.

I have been quite unopen a long time, but I just met this girl via internet and we have talked by phone. I like her a lot, and already ont he phone I have stuttered and kept some words in.

Keeping the words in effectively suppressing who are and when all you do is chat on the internet and phone it really can cripple any potential relationship.

I tihnk I will confess my stutter to her, the sooner the better.

There is nothing to confess to, by not telling her she will do one of 2 things.
1) Think you are some sort of freak/perv/freak.
2) Think you are quiet and boring and the next thing you know she never contacts you again.
- She might also guess but the chances of this are pretty small.

I am interested if that helps keeping you fluent or not. This may or may not change the fact that I stutter when I order a drink at a cofeeshop :/

It does nothing with people who know you, they know you stutter, you know you stutter, the situation remains the same.

With strangers in the street it can help a little, it takes the edge off, you are telling them you deep dark secret and turns a potentially awkward situation into a bearable one.

On the phone it stops them hanging up. Its as simple as that. Again it makes those pauses less awkward as well.

It won't help your stutter but it will make you feel more comfortable when stutter.

One quick note, only say you have a stutter when you are a getting stuck. There is no point telling them if you won't stutter, thats like a man telling you he is in the middle of the street then walking on... pointless.

[aKoChiC86]

Thanks for your POV on this.
And yes, I should try to stutter with a smile :)
That relaxes the situation and also gives a more confident look. One should be comfortable with oneself.

But at the times I keep the words in, it's not always that I wil stutter on them. The feeling is that I just canät begin with them, my breathing gets tensed and stops.
I have to work on the breathing also... Perhaps some daily meditation, anyone tried this???

Or do you have another method one can apply?

[Perad]

But at the times I keep the words in, it's not always that I wil stutter on them. The feeling is that I just canät begin with them, my breathing gets tensed and stops.

I know the feeling i do this as well but only when it doesn't really matter, like in class when i know the answer and i would answer but i don't because i think i will stutter or i get a tense feeling. Of course if i need help then i just power through it.

I have to work on the breathing also... Perhaps some daily meditation, anyone tried this???

I think you will find meditation has little effect on you, i have been using something called holosync to meditate lately and i haven't seen any real difference.

Or do you have another method one can apply?

The practice calming yourself down in stressful situations, if you can master this you will help your speech no end.

[studentdoc]

I hide my stutter so much - there is another classmate who stutters and I run from situations with him so he does not know I stutter (not sure why...) and today my friend was referring to him and he thought I didn't know who he was talkin about so he says " you know, the guy who stutters" and then on about what a great guy he is. This is someone I spend A LOT of time with studying and he looks at me like WTF is wrong when I speak - but I don't stutter - I change the word, stop what I'm saying, stick a word or two in the middle, look away - AVOID STUTTERING but it still looks weird and all. Whatever - it's too late and I have a test to study for. :rolleyes:

[aKoChiC86]

The thing is, most of the times I stutter is not cause of stress. That I am somewhat sure of...

Moments I stutter could be when I want to ask a question to my nearest family, my friends... or, yeah... Some sentences beginning with "I..." - that is telling something about myself, I stutter on the "I", or "jag" in swedish...

That is maybe cause me being unopen, and unused to tell about me...

[Standingtall]

I worked as a summer student in a counselling office once and I witness a few of their AA sessions. I guess this is very much like an AA meeting, but without the face to face. I have told people as an converstational topic in a social settings and I do feel better afterwards. It feels like an huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I was surprised at what they knew. For example, I learned later that my wife has a very dear friend, and her stutter makes my look non-existant. I have seen my wife on the phone, concerntrating really hard and not saying a word for a very long time, I know who is on the line with her. I remember the first time meeting my wife's friend and my wife telling me afterwards. 'She came running into the kitchen to tell me, your boyfriend speaks like me'.

I don't know, maybe you can tell her, why you are shy and when she asks why. 'My stutter is the biggest influence'. You might be surprised what she knows.

[BenLZ]

In my opinion, it is a bit easier when somebody surely knows you stutter because you're over that point where he or she has to find out, which is awkward. In no way is it solved however, maybe if you have a very mild one then it's bearable, but for somebody who stutters severely the embarrassment occurs regardless of whose around you if you take a minute saying your name.

[llw03c]

after failing at several job interviews, citing that my speech problem is to blame (of course it is!! what else could it be!! :D ), i broke down and told them in the next interview that i stuttered. during the interview, not only did i not stutter, but they asked me where the stutter went; they didn't notice anything. they probably thought i was crazy..needless to say, i didn't get that job either.. :(