Can't get your point across...

[Jp72394]

So today, I was in a fight at school. It was with a guy who I was beefing with for weeks before this because one of my friends (former friends) kept instigating stuff between us. We used to go outside at lunch, and he would call this dude over, and they would be talking about how weak I was, and how he would beat my ass.

I really didn't say anything back (not that I could without stuttering, and getting ridiculed even more). I just stood there, and shook my head. Then today he started pushing me, and I told him to back off, and before I knew it, a fight started...and it seemed that God just completely abandoned me today...

We went to the principal's office, and he asked us to explain the situation. This dude comes in with a load of HUGE bull crap, saying that its been me who's been instigating and saying I would beat his ass, when in reality, it was him and my friend. The principal called my friend up, and they both testified against me, my friend saying that he was never even out there when it happened.

I tried so hard to explain to the principal how this was going on for weeks and my friend had been instigating this, and how the fight began when he started pushing me, but I was so nervous, I could not get anything out, and my friend and the dude kept cracking up during the whole time I was trying to talk, and the principal got fed up with me and told me to get out of the office. He talked with my friend and the dude, and he kept pressing questions on me, about what I was lying about, and how it was my fault that I instigated and made the dude start the fight and I kept trying to tell him and he kept on yelling at me.

So he called on witnesses who were there during this whole time (who were kind of my friends). They were instigating too, so of course no one said anything to back me up in case they got in trouble, so with me barely being able to talk and back myself up, I got suspended for 5 days, but luckily I've had it easy at home because I was able to explain to my parents (Who were patient). Has anyone ever had a situation in which their stuttering prevented them from backing themselves up?

[Demonwolf]

That sounds pretty horrible. And it sounds even worse becuase the principal acted like a jerk. He couldnt even give you the time or patience to explain yourself. Not only that he pressured you even further when you were in trouble and the other kids are giggling away making you feel evem more nervous and under pressure. He should have at least spoken to you alone..
Sorry that had to happen to you. Id be so mad at the principal and try and get my parents to make a formal complaint or something.
I dont remember anything that bad happeneing to me.. or where I had to stand up for myself. Sure I had fights at school. But I was kinda the clever kid who the teachers always new was good and didnt start trouble, so they kinda sided with me.
But there have been situations where I wish I would speak up becuase I knew the right answer or I could lead the group into doing something great.. and I kept my mouth shut becuase Im afraid to stammer. That really does hurt when you know youve got such a good contribution to make but .. you just dont speak up. It kills you a little inside.

I remember as a kid I looked up to my eldest brother so much. And I tried to be part of the conversation .. and whenever I stammered badly he would just ignore me .. like I didnt even say anything. Sometimes like I wasnt even there. OK so he didnt make fun of me ..and I guess he could only deal with it by acting like it didnt even happen. But that had quite an impact on me, not being paid attention to.. not able to have someone I looked up to listen to me.

[DFedison]

I'm genuinely sorry, Demonwolf, that you had to deal with your brother's negative reaction. Being ignored is, without a doubt, much, much more devestating than being teased. As stutterers, we've trained ourselves to brush off insults or stupid comments; what we aren't accustomed to dealing with is complete apathy. That's just plain wrong.

...This is rather personal, so I hope you don't mind me asking. How's your relationship with your brother, now? Has he made amends? Do you two communicate now, despite your stutter?

[Jp72394]

I feel you, although its not healthy to blame our stuttering on some things, you know that it really keeps you from giving your fullest without the feeling of humiliation, and its even worse in a situation like a class competition where you know that you can help your team win by just saying it, but you don't want to be talked about or made fun of, so you keep it to yourself.

Man, I can't believe that your brother ignored you like that. Luckily, my brother was also a stutterer, but his went away when he was in 6th grade, and i'm in 9th, and this speech impediment is still going strong. I could, like you, always sense that my speech problem separated my brother and I drastically.

[Demonwolf]

I don't mind you asking.. DFedison. I actually came to realise that it wasn't my fault, and that actually he's a bit of a jerk. He is like that now; most people in the family recognise he is not reliable, can be decietful, has a massive ego. For instance he borrowed my car once and drove into something breaking one of my fog lights, was totally insistent that he'd get a new light and have it all replaced and everything. Six months later.. still no fog light. Weve had baillifs come to our door over his debts. Yet he denied he was in debt, etc..

We talk now alot more than we used to when I was a kid. But its clear Im my own man now, I dont look up to him or feel the need to impress him like it was when I was a kid.

Recently he was trying to convince me that the 7/7 public transport bombings in London were an inside job (he's annoyingly a conspiracy nut). I took this oppurtunity to argue it out with him concisely using logic to poke big holes in his arguments. Usually I just let him speak and make some excuse to leave the room or something. This time I wasnt having it. I totally blew his arguments down with a calm voice hardly stammering at all with no blocks, and he was getting madder and madder and started getting louder and louder. I had such a hard time masking the joy I was getting out of his displeasure and my mastery of a talking situation.

It also helps that I come from such a big family. I have 5 brothers and a sister. I'm third eldest and the only one that stammers. I'm very close to one of my younger brothers and my sister. Especially my sister. She is great with me and my stammer and is truly one of the few people that knows who I really am underneath all the guards and armour I put up when dealing with most people. Other people just see the strong silent, straight as an arrow, guy that you wouldn't want to pick a fight with. But my sister knows me as the joker laughing and smiling all the time, acting like a big kid. We can spend hours talking and I stammer openly in front of her. And she's one of the only people I can talk to about it.

You know even when people react in the worst manner to any of your flaws be it a stammer or anything else, you just have to realise they are ones at fault not you. If they make an issue out of something you cant help they are the jerk.

[inferno dhalsim]

Hey Jp72394,

Once you've explained everything to your parents, you can have a meeting with the principal with your parents and let them explain it to the principal.In your situation, thoses kids toke advantage of you and lied because you coudn't back yourself up.If the principal is intelligent, Things should work out.

I alsso had that kind of experience.

[TheMan56]

I would complain to the school board about that ignorant idiot.

[Brian F]

I had the same problem in high school.
One guy kept teasing me about my stutter.Nothing worked.I'd argue back and be further humliated 'cause i stuttered. One day after school i lost my temper and got into fight with him. I didnt get into any trouble but worse, he was bigger than me and I got beat up. I was humliated and I just gave up arguing back or wanting to fight again.
Fortunately.it was at the end of the year and I was able to avoid him again.
Theres been other times I felt like doing the same thing but I just get myself out of the situation.
It' just a no win situation For you maybe theres an appeal or something. good thing you have supportive parents good luck.

[dexter]

Demonwolf, you are so lucky. I would love to have that ability to speak with someone. It's not my families fault...it's my flaw. Fair play to you for feeling comfortable. Someday I hope to be there.

As for the original poster, Jp72394, that is horrific. I can't even begin to express my sympathies. There are terrible, terrible people in this world and I am so sorry you had to experience that.

Continue to stand your ground though please