You can have a good Social life!

[London]

Hey, I'm new here, making my first post, and I have a point to make.

I'm currently in high school, and I do stutter, but I have a really good social life. I have friends who I can always talk to, we go to see a film, and really go out to anywhere any time. I've been reading this forum for a long time and I've seen people say that they don't have a good social life, but stutterers can have a good social life. I'm not a serious stutterer and I can read a whole chapter of Harry Potter without stuttering, and I can be as fluent as anyone in class. I'm great at drama and have no problem with talking in front of the class.

Of course I get nervous when talking to girls, but they all know my problem but I get along just fine with them. Sometimes being involved with sports can help you. You are part of the team and you'll be friends with everyone, no matter what your problem is. I met this guys while playing football and he had a terrible twitch, but everyone (including my team) was fine with it.

But I have to say that I stutter at home quite a lot, maybe because I'm in a more relaxed mood, so I don't have to try and not embarrass myself. But out on the road etc, I'm as fluent as anybody else.

Does anybody else feel that way?

[Box of Clocks]

Well from what you have said here one of the reasons why you probably have such a good social life is because your stutter is very minor while around people in your class. If you were more severe then perhaps your social life wouldn't be as good as it is now.

[JR123]

i have a good social life, i have alot of friends, and all of them don't mind that i stutter and understand that i have this problem so they dont mention it, but with girls, i freak out, so untill now, i never had a girlfriend { i'm 16 }, i'm not that depressed with that, but i'd like to have a girlfriend sometime soon.

[happy7117]

Bam-- youy guys took the stuttered words out of my mouth!!

A mild stutterer who can favorably communicate will have a great social life because their stutter does not hinder them because it's not so bad.

Severe or very severe stutters will have a bad social life because of the fact they can barely communicate.

[happy7117]

i have a good social life, i have alot of friends, and all of them don't mind that i stutter and understand that i have this problem so they dont mention it, but with girls, i freak out, so untill now, i never had a girlfriend { i'm 16 }, i'm not that depressed with that, but i'd like to have a girlfriend sometime soon.

If you stuttered badly, you might feel way differently, so consider yourself fortenate you have the sort of stuttering that does not destroy your social life.

[TheMan56]

Waste of a post no offense. Your stutter is minor, that is exactly why you have a good social life.

I have a pretty shitty social life, some days I talk at about 80% fluency and other days I talk at 15% fluency.

[onewish11]

Anyone who stutters should know from their experiences that the more you stutter the more difficult it will be to have a social life. I have a mild, and I am like you two socially if not more..always have been. Everyone keep your head up. When you feel alone, remember you're not alone.

[happy7117]

Waste of a post no offense. Your stutter is minor, that is exactly why you have a good social life.

I have a pretty shitty social life, some days I talk at about 80% fluency and other days I talk at 15% fluency.

Your exactly right! If one stutters midly, socializing should not be a problem. In other words, the person who started this thread should realize that not all of us have mild stutterings so no one can be fluent as a mild stutterer is.

The thread title should be changed to "You can have a good social life if you are a mild stutterer"

Very severe stutterers like me feel isolated, angery, frusterated on a daily basis and I bet ANY of us would do anything to be a mild stutterer with somewhat of a problem.

[amey]

Stuttering severity and how social a person is , is pretty subjective. Yes, a mild stutterer may have less problems speaking but that doesnt matter. His/her experience maybe JUST as constrictive as that of a severe stutterer. -- Simply making blanket statements that mild stutterers have it easier, or dont struggle as much, is just not true.-- I know SEVERE stutterers who are very social and I know mild stutterers who are literally in hiding.--- It comes down to the individual and how he/she feels about thier own stuttering. Severe or mild, if the person does not accept their stuttering, they will hide in some way and their social life will be affected.

[inferno dhalsim]

my stutter is mild to sever and my social is quite hard. I don't talk allot and making new friends is almost impossible. I never been able to make the first step to make friends. when I was in high school I made friends when someone else initiated the approach like someone in the same soccer team .I also made friends when people knew me better when we had do to team works for a project. I made most of my friends like that.

I have a part time job at a tim hortons and I never got in trouble of talking while working but my coworkers complains that I don't make even effort to up-sell. Up-selling while stuttering isn't easy.

[amey]

Your exactly right! If one stutters midly, socializing should not be a problem. In other words, the person who started this thread should realize that not all of us have mild stutterings so no one can be fluent as a mild stutterer is.

The thread title should be changed to "You can have a good social life if you are a mild stutterer"

Very severe stutterers like me feel isolated, angery, frusterated on a daily basis and I bet ANY of us would do anything to be a mild stutterer with somewhat of a problem.

what you are not understanding is that mild stutterers only have THEIR OWN experience. That EXPERIENCE is just as horrifying and debilitating as ours, as severe stutterers. Of course it may be easy to think that we have it harder, but the two cannot be compared. They are individual experiences.MILD stutterers view their stuttering as SEVERE! it has caused fear, isolation, depression and the SAME feelings that we have.-- Yes, we are more frequent in our stuttering, but you cant tell someone else how they should feel just because you perceive your situation to be worse.--- what is your point anyway?? So you have more stuttering, you are not the only one.

[happy7117]

what you are not understanding is that mild stutterers only have THEIR OWN experience. That EXPERIENCE is just as horrifying and debilitating as ours, as severe stutterers. Of course it may be easy to think that we have it harder, but the two cannot be compared. They are individual experiences.MILD stutterers view their stuttering as SEVERE! it has caused fear, isolation, depression and the SAME feelings that we have.-- Yes, we are more frequent in our stuttering, but you cant tell someone else how they should feel just because you perceive your situation to be worse.--- what is your point anyway?? So you have more stuttering, you are not the only one.

My point---

If a person stutters mildly it means they have an easier time to speak because they have lesss stuttering. So it should be easier for them to communicate and make friends.

If mild stutterers think their situation is bad when it shouldn't be, how would they deal with more severe stuttering.

[amey]

My point---

If a person stutters mildly it means they have an easier time to speak because they have lesss stuttering. So it should be easier for them to communicate and make friends.

If mild stutterers think their situation is bad when it shouldn't be, how would they deal with more severe stuttering.

COMPARED to YOUR stuttering, YOU believe that mild stutters SHOULD have an easier time communicaating and making friends. Unfortunately, that is not the reality for most mild stutterers. Look at this forum! It is filled with mild stutterers' stories that sound JUST like that of a severe stutterer.

--- I get what you mean, a mild stutter would be like a dream for people who stutter like we do.--- Who are we to tell a mild stutterer how to feel??? These are individual experiences. these are peoples lives that have been GREATLY affected by stuttering, mild OR severe.--- "If a mild stutterer thinks their situation is bad when it shouldnt be"...COMPARED to yours. That is the key. There is no need to figure out who has it "worse". We have only our lives and our experiences. If these mild stutterers were more severe, they would deal with it in the same way that we do.

We severe stutterers have more stuttering and it requires more of us, but lets not disqualify the experience of ALL stutterers.-- We cant tell a mild stutter that their situation shouldnt bother them, because it could be worse, like ours. They dont know us, and even if they did, who cares! They only have their experience and that experience has caused them the SAME feelings that we have.

I am sure that there is a stutterer out there who is more severe than you, Happy.-- What would you say if that person thought YOU had it easy and said that YOU should have NO problem socializing and making friends, because you were mild compared to them????-- think about that.

[mara]

The intensity of my stuttering depends on the situation, so there are times where I would say it is light, others when I can barely say two words in five minutes.
But I do have a good social life: I have friends, a boyfirend, a good job and colleagues that like me. That's because I don' WANT my stutter to limit my life. NEVER. And if I had a bad day in which I stuttered a lot, I go to sleep. And tomorrow'll be another day. :)
Don't let your life get dominated by your stuttering so much. Life is beautiful!:D

[happy7117]

The intensity of my stuttering depends on the situation, so there are times where I would say it is light, others when I can barely say two words in five minutes.
But I do have a good social life: I have friends, a boyfirend, a good job and colleagues that like me. That's because I don' WANT my stutter to limit my life. NEVER. And if I had a bad day in which I stuttered a lot, I go to sleep. And tomorrow'll be another day. :)
Don't let your life get dominated by your stuttering so much. Life is beautiful!:D

Again-- this is probably coming from a mild stutterer who has every right to feel this way.

[happy7117]

COMPARED to YOUR stuttering, YOU believe that mild stutters SHOULD have an easier time communicaating and making friends. Unfortunately, that is not the reality for most mild stutterers. Look at this forum! It is filled with mild stutterers' stories that sound JUST like that of a severe stutterer.

--- I get what you mean, a mild stutter would be like a dream for people who stutter like we do.--- Who are we to tell a mild stutterer how to feel??? These are individual experiences. these are peoples lives that have been GREATLY affected by stuttering, mild OR severe.--- "If a mild stutterer thinks their situation is bad when it shouldnt be"...COMPARED to yours. That is the key. There is no need to figure out who has it "worse". We have only our lives and our experiences. If these mild stutterers were more severe, they would deal with it in the same way that we do.

We severe stutterers have more stuttering and it requires more of us, but lets not disqualify the experience of ALL stutterers.-- We cant tell a mild stutter that their situation shouldnt bother them, because it could be worse, like ours. They dont know us, and even if they did, who cares! They only have their experience and that experience has caused them the SAME feelings that we have.

I am sure that there is a stutterer out there who is more severe than you, Happy.-- What would you say if that person thought YOU had it easy and said that YOU should have NO problem socializing and making friends, because you were mild compared to them????-- think about that.

How could there be any worse of a stutterer than me! :)

[0000]

If you stuttered badly, you might feel way differently, so consider yourself fortenate you have the sort of stuttering that does not destroy your social life.
i have to agree with you.

sure, your friends might not mind it because you have a mild stutter. people like me, and probably the majority of this forum, can not communicate the way they would like to. the only way to have a good social life is to communicate with your peers by engaging in conversation, talking about interests, etc. notice the key words? "conversation" and "talking"?

just be thankful that ordering food, scheduling an appointment, or even discussing something simple isn't so frustrating for you.