Gradually getting worse....

[dexter]

Hi all,

It took me a while to decide to write this, but I guess this is more to vent than anything, so bear with me.

I've always had a stutter...as long as I can remember. Do we all remember those mundane speech therapy classes when they just said to breathe? That's all was needed - "just breathe properly". Eugh!!!

Childhood: I can't say I had a bad time at school because I, think, i faked it. Or at least it seems looking back now. I made it through without ever feeling bad about myself. Maybe it wasn't faking but somehow I got through. You might think I am mumbling - well it's because I am.

Trying to remember when it actually bugged me that I stutter, despite remembering always having the problem, is a struggled. What I can say is that, recently, it's hit me like a tonne of bricks.

It's hit home: I DO HAVE A SPEECH PROBLEM. Why am I only so concerned now? It is really, really starting to annoy me me something bad.

Before - although it was clear I had it - I was always socially popular, have loads of mates, keen to get involved in activities.

However, recently, I have become withdrawn detracted and spend most of my time alone. My best mates are still calling to do stuff, but i feel they are getting a bit pissed off with me since i never want to play golf, go for a beer, or actually meet up.

Everyday I lay in bed and have the worst thoughts and feelings. Am i depressed?

Anyway, as I said before, I've never spoke to anyone about this before, not even my parents. It actually took me until earlier this month to look for this place.

ps- reading this place, and all your comments this past few months, has been comforting. I wish you all the best. Thanks for giving me somewhere I can try to guage what it going on - even if it is just words on a screen.

[aaron]

Hi Dexter, i totally understand what you are going through, i never really started to stammer untill i was 16, by the time i hit 22 my stammer was getting really bad and last year i hit rock bottom i felt like hiding away and not socializing with my mates or anyone else, but believe me mate hiding away and avoiding is the worst thing to do. We all get it in our heads that our stammer is the worst thing in the world and that everyone else including our mates are going to think its a big deal when in reality its not, nobody cares about our stammer apart from us, we think its a big thing and that makes us hold back and all the negative thoughts start flooding in and all the panic, if you get what im saying basically its all in our heads. If you keep avoiding all it does is increase the fear and your speech will suffer even more for it. You need to declare war on your stammer and fight fire with fire by de-sensitising yourself to your stammer.Ring your mates up and meet up with them and if your speech is bad and your having some trips and falls just tell them your having a bad day with your speech, the more open you are about your stammer the more the fear level will decrease and your speech will improve. i know its easy saying it but over time you wont give a toss if you stammer and you will get yourself back on track, main thing is NOT to hide away and be OPEN about it- makes life much easier and speaking. Hope this helps !!! :)

[dream431ca]

Hey Dexter ,

I'm feeling the same way as well since yesterday. The reason is that I went to a family gathering to celebrate my grandma's birthday and my cousins and uncles were there. Most of my cousins have married, live on their own in nice houses and I still live at home at age 28. I have a hard time communicating with them because sometimes I will stutter and someone will just decide to talk over me. That gets me a little mad. I never talk about my stutter to my family because I'm afraid they will say "just it up, don't worry about it."

That makes me really angry when someone says that to me. I know it's ignorance, but it doesn't really help when you explain your
stutter to someone and they completely ignore it by saying it up. I know they
will understand what it's like so I don't
mention my stuttering or talk about it.


What keeps me going is music. Music has helped me more than anyone ever could. We all have our ups and downs. Sometimes I feel great and some other times, like right now, I feel terrible. I feel like these family gatherings exist to remind me of how far behind I am compared to everyone else in my family.

But I will get over it eventually and life will continue as normal. I really want to move out but my funds are limited at the moment.

From time to time, stuttering hits home, and we feel terrible. What we must learn is how to get past these times and to take hold of our dreams which is difficult for everyone, not just people who stutter. I don't have a girlfriend so I cannot share how I feel honestly with someone. However, I am going to ride on, move out eventually and hopefully start a new life. I just need to get my funds up to par.

Never give up. I feel the same way as you sometimes going out with my friends. They can all talk freely and I am left in what feels like a void where it is very difficult for me to express myself. Being positive as a stutterer is hard but it can be done. Positive thinking leads to confidence and confis

[dream431ca]

Sorry for my last post. I screwed up on my iPhone again. What I meant to say is confidence leads to less stuttering. Never give up.

[dexter]

Thanks for your advice and comments, it really is appreciated.

[marktb68]

dexter, your stuttering is a gift. how tough are you? are you weak and willing to give in to the "monster", or are you going to slash it? Your choice my friend. Think about what stuttering has taught you. do me a favor.. Write down all the positives stuttering has given you.